using the wrong name

[alinonymous]

As a background to this, I came out to my mom as transgender about a month ago but I'm sure she was suspecting it far prior to this. In the past year, she's been using (full gender-specific birth name (FGBN)) instead of (shortened non-gender-specific form of birth name (SN)) to refer to me far more often, and I do suspect she's been encouraging

Comments

[aubreycolors]

Most people that haven't dealt with gender issues don't understand gender identity. They see you as what you have been all your life. It'd be like looking at a TV and not understanding why you're calling it a car.

My suggest would be as follows.

"it forces me into a gender which I am not."

This references the TV/Car example I gave.
I'd suggest referring to gender identity instead of straight-up gender. "If forces me into a gender which contradicts the one I have always identified with."

I can't answer the question about your dad because I wasn't there and I don't know your mom and dad. I don't know their personalities.

[aubreycolors]

Wow... so many typos I made!! Please ignore them ;)

[odd_boi_out]

It sure sounds like your dad knows something, or at least suspects something. And I thought that what he said sounded kind of sweet. It seems like he might be somewhat supportive? Maybe you should talk to him, if you feel okay doing so.

[alinonymous]

Ugh, no. His tone of voice was more demeaning than anything. There certainly wasn't a hint of sweetness in it.

[odd_boi_out]

Oh. Okay then, maybe not. Sorry.

[alice_voronova]

I think writing a letter is a good idea, but are you sure that your mom do understand all of these abbreviations?

[alinonymous]

The abbreviations in the letter are just place holders. I will replace them with (full birth name) and (gender neutral name which I have gone by). I just didn't want to divulge my full birth name.