Apparently there's nothing I can do...

[justtristan]

 Hey everyone. I hope I'm posting this in the right area. I'm 20 years old. I'm still semi-in the closet about my gender identity. The world sees me as a woman. But that's not what I'm supposed to be. When I was 8 years old, I told some kids in my class that I was supposed to be a boy. Somehow it managed to work it's way to the principle and then

Comments

I feel you so much on this!!

[sistahmamaqueen]

Hey justtristan, I hella' feel you on this! I am 19 and recently been figuring out my gender identity myself! I'm probably not the best person to give you advice because I'm doing the complete opposite, and I wish we could just SWITCH bodies, but we can't. :( Howevah, just being on here and letting you know that we're in this together and that someone else out there is going through the same thing has helped me a zillion so I hope my love and warm fuzzies find you safely, best of luck and just be confident homeboi !!

xoxo sistah mama queen <3

Re: I feel you so much on this!!

[justtristan]

Thanks sistah mama queen! That makes me feel good. Yeah, if you figure out a way for us to switch bodies, hit me up. Ha. You have my support and thank you for yours. I'll keep you in mind and I wish you the best of luck!

-Tristan

[deusabscondidum]

You said that you've tried an ace bandage. Those things are awful and not entirely effective. Have you heard of the Big Brother's Binders program? http://www.thetransitionalmale.com/BBUB.html I believe currently he only charges $8.00 to $10.00 for them, so if you can not afford something more, this is a great way to get ahold of one. Binders are never all that comfortable, but they do work better than ace bandage and allow for breathing.

[levyn]

I say try out this site. I got one from them when i first came out.
I'm a public service announcement for ace bandage damage. Be sure and get yourself a binder as soon as possible. Ace bandages are made to immobilize, so every time you breathe, it's constricting your body even further.

Glad to see you're trying to be the real you. Go for it and don't look back. Best of luck! <3

[deusabscondidum]

I went to them after watching videos of people who now have 'permanent cleavage' from using ace bandages day in and day out. The program is very nice, and I've gotten two binders from them. Nick, the guy who runs it, is very helpful.

[justtristan]

Thank you. I'm looking at the site now and it looks like an awesome idea. The thought of the ace bandage causing me harm didn't dawn in my thick head. So thanks for looking out for me.

[sircharlie]

hey man. sorry to hear that you're having a hard time. the first steps are the hardest, in my opinion. may I ask around what size you are? I just had surgery, and if i'm not mistaken, I may still have a binder left. it might not be the prettiest thing, but i'm sure it'll be more comfortable and safer than an ace wrap.

also, you wouldn't happen to live in monroe, ny, would you? I also live in the lower hudson valley, and i hear ya on the shittyness of being trans in a small town. i'd like to offer you some local support, if you're around. i'm about 40 mins from monroe, and have a car. sometimes it's good to have another trans dude to chat with, you know?

[justtristan]

I wore a D. I cant remember the around size, since I was using old sports bras of mine to bind before I changed to an ace bandage. I'll go try and find out and get back to you though. I think is was a 34 though. Or something... And unfortunately... No. Monroe Louisiana. I actually live in Delhi... But that's where the site identified me. I wish I lived in Monroe, Ny, though. It'd be tight to have another trans dude to talk to in person. I'm bummed.

[sircharlie]

i bet my old binder would fit. i'd be cool with sending it to you just in case it does (i really hate to see a guy use an ace wrap...been there, got the poor posture to prove it!). just promise that if it doesn't fit, you'll pass it along to someone who can use it, eh? you can PM me your address and i'll send it along. and don't worry, i'll be discreet with the packaging haha.

does suck indeed that you're not in my neck of the woods. should you ever find yourself in ny, hit me up!

[justtristan]

Oh man. That'd be awesome. I swear that if it doesn't fit I will pass it along. No worries at all. How do you PM? Sorry... New to this site. Ha. And yeah, for sure. I've made my way up there before... Chances are I'll do it again. So I will well you know if I'm ever up there.

[greaseyourlips]

There are many different ways to be a man. I have trouble remembering that, so you're not alone on that limb. I look at my father and brother who are polar opposites, and then remember there are several groups of men who fall between that.

If the Big Brother's Binder program does not work out for you, then there's a couple of people setting up a program on Tumblr. If you're interested, then keep your eye on The Circle.

[justtristan]

Thank you. I'm very familiar with tumblr so I am going to follow them here in a sec. I appreciate the help.

[greaseyourlips]

No problem!

[makhsihed]

Get a real binder, don't use ace bandages! Others have made suggestions as to where you can get those.

FTM Passing Tips is excellent.

I am a DDD and have had some success binding with a double front compression shirt from FTM underworks. It's not perfect, but adding a vest (you can find vests and waistcoats preeetty cheap at thrift stores, or for a bit more expensive but still feasible at the men's section of Target) makes it a lot more convincing.

Binder + layers has been the best help for me. Binder, men's undershirt, men's dress shirt (button-down, darker colors, with a collar, and patterning on the shirt fabric are all very helpful), vest. A jacket or coat over top all that doesn't hurt either, if the weather allows. For the hips, the binder helps. More layers - boxers, loose men's pants (jeans, cargo pants), a wide belt, and some heavy boots - disguise curves and helps movement be more naturally masculine.

[justtristan]

Thank you. The FTM passing tips are very helpful.