Field Trip, Part 2 - G1 (PG-13)
Chapter: Episode 5: Field Trip Part 2
Title: Thundercracker and the Three Seeklets
Fandom: G1
Rating: PG 13 for misunderstood implications...
Warnings: crackfic
Summary: The sparklings go visiting...
Other Parts: Ep. 1: Taser's New Friend; Ep. 2: A Sticky Situation; Ep. 3: Fingerpainting Ep: 4: Field Trip Part 1
“I don’t know where they could be hiding, Optimus. We’ve crawled all through the maintenance shafts and gone through the entire Ark.”
“Expand the search to the surrounding area, in case they managed to get outside. And get the Dinobots, we need all the help we can get.”
x-x-x
“Him, Optimus, want help searching,” Grimlock told the sparklings.
“Okay! Good luck finding whatever-it-is!” Taser chirped
“We’ll go play with our new toys,” added Scritch.
“At least they waited for the movie to end,” Stick commented as they hopped back through the hatch.
The sparklings were on the move…
x-x-x
“Optimus! We got one!” Cliffjumper yelled over the sparkling’s wailing. “We popped a hatch from underneath the thing; one fell through; the others took off screaming.” He listened to the radio, then replied, “Yeah! They’re still in the Ark somewhere… Primus, how do you make this thing shut up?!”
The blue and red seeker hanging from his hand just wailed louder.
“Try not holdin’ the poor thing by the wing!” Hound pulled the sparkling out of his grasp, making crooning noises. “It’s okay, shh…”
Cliffjumper grumbled and stalked off to hunt down the other two.
x-x-x
“Hey, I heard you guys got invaded!” Sparkplug was grinning when he showed up at the main entrance, a toy truck tucked under each arm. “I thought you could use some help.”
“Baby Decepticons? Did I hear that right?” Spike asked Bumblebee.
“Three of them,” affirmed Bumblebee.
“I dug up some of Spike’s old toys,” Sparkplug told a tired-looking Prowl. “Children come better if you have toys.”
“We’ve caught one, but the other two are hiding somewhere in the crawlspaces above the control room. I was hoping you’d have better luck convincing them to come out than we have. Spike, would you mind taking over watching the one we’ve caught?”
“Sure, no problem!”
x-x-x
“Here she is,” Hound set the little seeker - finally quiet - on the floor next to Spike. “She answers to Scritch,” he told Spike as he headed for the door.
“Um, Hound? She’s got claws,” Spike hissed. The sparkling did indeed have little red claws poking out from the tips of her fingers.
“Don’t worry, you’ll be fine. She ain’t gonna scratch you. You hear that, Scritch? No scratching. Or shooting, either.”
She looked up at the Autobot. “Okay.”
Scritch stared at her new babysitter. Spike stared back, still trying to get his head around the idea of a female Decepticon, much less a baby female Decepticon. “Um, hi? I brought some toys…”
She picked the dump truck up and turned it over. “It looks like Long Haul. Only yellow.”
“Yeah, it kinda does, doesn’t it?”
“Thundercracker doesn’t like him,” Scritch said.
“Why not?”
“’Cause he’s a jerk, and he makes fun of Skywarp.”
“They’re really good friends, aren’t they? Thundercracker and Skywarp?” Spike watched as she made the dump truck plow into a wall.
“Of course they are. They’re sleeping together, aren’t they?”
Spike stared.
x-x-x
Meanwhile, Optimus was getting a headache. “Please come out?”
“Optimus Prime is a lame name,” opined one of the sparklings.
“Let’s give him a better one,” added the other.
“We’ll call you Wingless. ‘Cause you are,” the first informed the Autobot leader.
“He has to have two names,” the second reminded the first.
“Oh, yeah. Well, it’s lame to have two names.”
“So let’s call him Wingless Lame.”
Optimus tried to ignore the sound of his subordinates choking back laughter. “I don’t have wings because I’m a truck,” he said with all the patience he could muster.
Tucked out of reach in the maintenance shaft, the sparklings exchanged looks.
“Don’t we know a song about a truck?” Taser asked Stick.
“Oh yeah!”
Patience, Optimus reminded himself as they started singing.
“I’m driving a truck, drivin’ a big ol’ truck…”
“Almost got them,” Bumblebee radioed quietly, laughter in his voice. “A few more feet and I can grab their feet…”
“Drivin’ a truck with my high heels on!” they finished, engaging their thrusters and taking off down the crawlspace.
Optimus sighed as a mildly scorched Bumblebee tumbled out of the hatchway, looking sheepish.
x-x-x
“So Blitzwing and Astrotrain are sleeping together, too?”
“And the Constructicons all sleep together, too, obviously.” Scritch crashed the dump truck into the tractor. She wasn’t really sure why the human was so surprised. Space was limited at the underwater base after all, so almost everyone had a roommate.
Spike’s brain stuttered to a stop. “Obviously,” he echoed faintly.
x-x-x
Ka-BOOM. “Sweet Primus!”
Sideswipe skidded around the corner, and stopped dead. Bluestreak sat in the middle of the floor, looking stunned. Bluestreak, the floor, the ceiling, and the walls were liberally covered in something green and gooey. And it glowed.
Trying to keep his face straight, Sideswipe radioed Wheeljack to let him know they’d found one of his missing inventions.
x-x-x
Stick turned to look back at the explosion. “Think one of the thingies ‘sploded,” he commented. “Scritch left it on the floor and the yappy one stepped on it. Good thing I put mine in the garbage.”
x-x-x
“And everyone knows that Megatron and Starscream secretly like each other,” Scritch continued, oblivious to Spike’s horrified expression.
x-x-x
“Gotcha!” Bumblebee shouted in triumph.
“AIEEEEEE!!!! It’s gonna EAT ME!”
“AAAAAAAAAH!” Stick dove out of the hatch, attaching himself to the nearest adult.
Unfortunately for Sideswipe, the nearest adult happened to be his face.
“Mmmrph!”
Sunstreaker took one look at his twin and burst out laughing.
“Nnfnnn!” Sideswipe protested.
“Sideswipe! Don’t grab-“ Bumblebee tried to yell a warning over the two sparklings’ screaming. Too late. Sideswipe’s hands were firmly stuck to Stick’s backside.
Sunstreaker slumped against the wall and laughed.
“Sideswipe, stop pulling! Here, you hold him,” Bee snapped at Sunstreaker, shoving the crying Taser into the startled Lamborghini’s arms.
Sunstreaker held the sparkling out at arms length. “What am I supposed to do with it?” he demanded.
Taser stopped crying and stared at the golden Autobot. “Oh, wow,” he breathed. “You’re yellow.”
“Optimus, we’ve found them. Sunstreaker’s got one, and the other’s got Sideswipe,” Bumblebee radioed in. He turned back to Sideswipe. “Maybe you could slide him onto your chestplate…”
“Mmrph!”
It took a few minutes, but Stick eventually calmed down enough to allow himself to be peeled off Sideswipe’s face. In the meantime, Prowl informed them that Thundercracker was on approach, presumably looking for the missing sparklings, and that they were to meet Optimus at the entrance.
Sunstreaker had taken one look at the knowing smirks he was getting from the other Autobots, and shoved the beaming sparkling into Optimus’ hands. He stomped off, looking uncomfortable.
x-x-x
Optimus looked up at a hovering Thundercracker, Taser still tucked under one arm. “I do, however, feel obligated to express my concern about the sort of environment these children are being raised in,” Optimus continued.
“Do you?” Thundercracker said with a sour expression. “Hey, Taser, you see the one holding you?”
The little yellow seeker twisted to stare up at Optimus Prime. “Yeah?”
“He’s the one who shot Skywarp.”
Taser looked horrified. “You sh-shot Skywarp?”
Optimus froze. How was he supposed to answer that?
The sparkling’s expression went from horror to childish anger. “You shot Skywarp! You’re a bad person!” A tingling sensation started in Optimus’ side and arm, where he was touching Taser. “I don’t like you!”
If felt, Optimus thought later, rather like being picked up by the chestplate and shook. His vision went white as his systems shorted.
When his optics cleared he was flat on his back, the sparkling glaring at him. Taser transformed and took off after Thundercracker. His wingmates followed, Scritch turning back for just long enough for one last word.
“JERK!”
x-x-x
“Little guy packs quite a punch,” Jazz observed as Ratchet finished checking out their leader.
“Nothing permanent,” Ratchet noted. “Looks like he shorted your mainframe, and forced your systems to reboot. You’re fine.”
“Wheeljack finished his inventory?” Optimus asked wearily.
“That’s the good news. Bad news is we’re still short two devices, one of which is -“ He was cut off by the sound of a reverberating boom from somewhere deep in the Ark.
“Highly explosive?” Optimus guessed.
“Alright, we’re short one device…”
“What sort of device?”
“Well, that’s the problem…”
-----------------------------------
A/N - Yes, yes, I know that the Truck Driving Song is an anachronism. Meh, it was the only embarrassing truck song I’ve got with a two-line punch line.