Attention Passengers, This Is Your Captain Speaking...

[governmentninja]

To all crew

Comments

[sithhavecooties]

We have a constitution?

[governmentninja]

Yes, we do.

[sithhavecooties]

Huh.

Can I talk to you about GLaDOS sometime?

[governmentninja]

I guess, though there isn't anything more I can say about it beyond "We already have people on it, and they're trying everything short of nuking all the AIs."

[hero_sting]

Understood, sir.

[governmentninja]

Sure, anytime.

[notlewis]

El Capitan, eh?

[governmentninja]

Someone has to be.

[notlewis]

Well, good for you. To the ends of the earth, amigo.

[genociding]

Who is GLaDOS, and what did they do to the Command Staff?

[governmentninja]

GLaDOS is a rogue AI that has a tendency to grab members of the crew and separate them from everyone else for a while and makes them run mazes. No one knows why it does that, and so far all attempts to stop it have been unsuccessful, but we have people still trying.

If you hear someone complain about cake, then they got snatched by GLaDOS.

[genociding]

Oh, dear. But there must be a way to stop it from doing that. Isn't Stacy aware?

[governmentninja]

Stacy is aware, but either unwilling or unable to do anything.