[open!] warning: insensitive bastard. come annoy him

[nanochist]

The best way to describe Kai's state of mind right now was stir-crazy. Even on a ship as mind-bendingly huge as Stacy was, Kai knew there was only so much space. He knew there was only so far he could go in one direction. He knew there was no going back, and there was no one he knew in this place

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[allnaturalseed]

A skinny, five-foot-four girl of mixed, vaguely Asian descent... probably not all that strong looking, no matter how grumpy she is.

Cagalli just happened to be sitting on a bench along his path of stomping around being angry, catching up on more of the ship's rules, specifically those regarding a certain live-fire exercise. Between that, and being possessed, and... that damned woman...

"Place is just full of happy people..." she muttered entirely too loudly as Kai wandered by, before hunching down a little upon realizing just how audible she was.

[allnaturalseed]

She noticed the way his fist hit the squishy bench, making more of a 'thunk' than a 'thump', and inched away. They couldn't even do normal, hard, inorganic benches here. "We... fight... I've already been through two wars. I... I can at least keep myself in one piece, but this is terrible forcing some of the people here to deal with this!"

It made her wish she'd never woken up here, just... stayed in the pod until they either won, or the ship was destroyed. It's not like she'd ever know either way.

[nanochist]

His breath was coming quickly, but the shouting and the bench abuse had taken the edge off his frustration. Kai was still far from happy, but his voice was lower. "I can deal with fighting," he said, chest rising and falling visibly under his plantsuit, mechanical heart working overtime, pumping the adrenaline through his blood. "It's not knowing that I can't stand."

[allnaturalseed]

Slumping back against the icky bench, Cagalli let out a frustrated sigh. "Might be easier if they could just... tell us who's dead, and what's gone for good, and what we'll never get back, so we can just deal with it..." Even if it means losing her nation and her people.

[nanochist]

"I don't want them to be dead."

I don't want to leave things the way they were.

Why was it that you only figured out what you had when it was taken from you?

"I can't do it," he said, and as he spoke the words, Kai realized they were true. "I can't assume they're dead and gone for good yet, not if there's a chance they aren't. But at the same time, knowing they might and that I might find out one day that this whole time there was no chance at all..."

He was leaning forward now, resting his head on his hands, elbows propped on his knees.

"I hate it."

[allnaturalseed]

She resisted the temptation to give a complete stranger a friendly pat on the back, which is weird, but happens when you sympathize.

Her eyes closed, she stretched her arms above her head, not saying anything for a moment or two. "Well... you can just give up and waste away, I guess." Not really an option, but it's not like they really had many other options. "I'm not much of a leader if I just... give up now, even if it's... probably hopeless."

[nanochist]

"Who said anything about giving up?"

He turned his head to look at her sideways, though he stayed hunched over.

"I sure as hell don't plan to waste away. I'm going to watch, and wait, and see if there's any chance of bringing them back. Or finding them in the pods. But there's no way anyone's going to get me to give up on it."

[allnaturalseed]

That got... well, not a grin, but it wasn't a bad expression either. Certainly better than whatever Cagalli had had. "Gotta keep hoping that all of that's true, huh? Hell... with the kinds of things I've seen, rebuilding an entire universe doesn't seem as unlikely as it could. For all we know there are other ships like Stacy, with the people we know, or... even entire planet's of people..."

[nanochist]

"It's not really hope," he said, turning from her to stare forward, at the pod-wall opposite the squishy bench. "It's more like...if it turns out there was a chance I could have done something, and I didn't because I'd given up, I'd never forgive myself. So maybe...it's keeping myself from regretting anything."

Man. Talking to her had really helped get his thoughts in order. Though Kai was still pretty pissed at the situation on the whole, he had a better idea of how he felt about things, and what he wanted to do.

He glanced over sideways at her again. "Name's Kai."

[allnaturalseed]

She nodded. "Right... right, I think I get where you're coming from..." and a better idea of where she is too, if only a little. It was hard to make much sense of how you felt about such an alien situation, so hearing it from someone else, and ranting herself was a good thing. "You don't wanna screw up, and have... have whoever come along and tell you that you coulda saved everyone."

Cagalli reached a hand out to him for a handshake. "Cagalli Yula Atha."