Allenby hadn't been specifically looking for anyone when she'd come down to the Hangar. She'd been intending to do some work on Nobel Gundam--while trying not to talk to her, an urge that had been growing lately. But when she spotted the man on the catwalks up there, she immediately jumped up onto the nearest mobile suit and onto the railing, toolkit still in her hand.
Yep, Setsuna. Last Allenby knew he'd still been in Medbay, but it looked like that had changed. Well, that was fine. She was pretty sure he wouldn't be interested in talking to her, but whatever. She had stuff she wanted to say.
"Hey, you okay?" she asked, hopping down onto the catwalk itself. "Haven't seen ya around here lately."
He didn't answer he question, mostly because, even if he were in a chatty mood, he wouldn't know how to answer that question. But he never was in a chatty mood.
He passed her a sideways glance, then went back to staring at his Gundam.
"Well, yeah there is actually." Allenby wasn't sure what was trickier about this: having to swallow her pride enough to apologize, or having the very strong feeling that Setsuna really wouldn't care about either apologies or insults.
Oh well. She was going to say it, dammit, whether he paid attention or not. "Sorry about when we got into that argument. You and your Gundam ain't trash."
Well... its current state notwithstanding. But it'd be okay after some maintenance.
Setsuna didn't care about apologies or insults, both were wasted on him. His only response was a slight throaty noise, which basically meant that he heard what she said.
That said, he glanced at her machine, then back at his. No, her suit was still not a Gundam, and she was a far cry from what a meister should be.
"Don't bother repairing your machine. Neither you nor it belong in a real war." Which, in its own way, was a compliment coming from him.
He'd reacted like she'd thought, but it still felt better to have said it. Allenby's eyes narrowed when he spoke, though. "Don't tell me what to do," she snapped. "Fightin' a real war isn't what I want, but it's what I have to do in order to save Earth. Not just mine, but yours and all the other different worlds that got destroyed."
And then after that, if she survived all of this, she could go back to how things were. Fighting because she wanted to and being satisfied with the outcome regardless of her nation's goals, and befriending people from other nations as she fought. Without killing anyone.
"You'll change," and not necessarily for the better. There was a huge difference between punching someone the face, and putting a bullet a through their skull. Once you do the latter... "You won't be able to go back."
If this had been before the battle, Allenby would have argued with him on that. But now...
She still didn't know whether or not the Ohm she'd killed were drones. Even if they were, that wouldn't really make it right. She remembered pretty clearly how awful she'd felt after the Quarter had returned to Stacy. If she kept fighting, was that how she'd feel all the time?
"...I'm still me," she said. "I won't just stay here when I know I can help. It's not like you can do that, right?"
"Well, what about restoring Earth? And protectin' that planet the Ohm wanted to destroy? If those were your goals, then at least some of them are the same." Philosophy about it or what he wanted to do afterward, that wasn't relevant to Allenby. It was the fight in front of them now that was important.
She wasn't going to argue the second thing he said. Allenby sure didn't want the rest of everyone's life to be on this awful ship, while the Ohm hunted down worlds and wiped them out like pests.
"They aren't." Protecting people only treated the symptoms, not the disease. Battles would simply occur over and over again until one side wins out in a war of attrition. That was not going to be his life.
Restoring the past didn't appeal to him either. What's gone was gone, and he could accept that.
No, he was all about forging a new future, and to do that, he was going to have to change the current dynamic.
"How can you not want to restore Earth?" Maybe the battles on his were nothing like the one on her own, where the Devil Gundam had tried to wipe out the human species, life on the planet itself--it just angered Allenby all the more that their battle had been for nothing. But surely there had still been billions of people living on his Earth too, none of whom deserved the fate they'd been granted by the Ohm. "You can't just--not care about what happened!"
She was getting mad again, but she just couldn't believe what he was saying. If his organization claimed that they wanted to end war, how could they do that without people in mind? But she pushed down the urge to hit him or start just yelling her opinions at him. She hadn't come over to get into another argument like last time. "If protectin' that planet wasn't your goal, then what was your motivation? Because from what I saw out there, you definitely were fighting for something."
He didn't say anything right then, as he was simply looking down at his Gundam. His mind was a million miles away, though. Exactly where, he wasn't sure. Unlike his previous hallucinations, he couldn't see anything, but he could hear a voice... Lockon's voice.
"Setsuna... the only thing about the past that changes is how you feel about things the present. But nothing else changes. Not others feelings... and certainly not their lives."
The sound of a gunshot caused him to start slightly, bringing him back to reality. And Allenby was still right there. He closed his eyes and let out a breath.
For a moment, Allenby thought that he was just shutting down again like he had last time. She put a hand on her hip, deciding that she wouldn't let him stonewall her out this time, until--was it her, or did he jump just then? But it wasn't like anything in the Hangar had made a noise.
And then he just gave her the same answer he had last time. "Your reasons sure did a number on your Gundam," she muttered, glancing down at it. "Look, I want to understand. You say that you guys are out to end war, but we're in one bigger than any humans could make. And you fought with everything you had. So why was that?"
She wasn't sure why Setsuna's attitude bothered her so much. But so far he was the only Gundam pilot she'd talked to that she hadn't gotten along with. It got under her skin.
"...Ya know, you'll need to learn how to talk to people better if you really want to do that," Allenby said. She could probably get more conversation out of a Gundam.
She grabbed the railing and pushed herself up, swinging her feet a little in thought. "So to end war, are you going to keep fighting alongside the rest of us?"
"That depends on how you proceed." What they choose to do with the information that he and the Princess gained during the fight. "But if you continue down the path you're on, the answer is no."
Yep, Setsuna. Last Allenby knew he'd still been in Medbay, but it looked like that had changed. Well, that was fine. She was pretty sure he wouldn't be interested in talking to her, but whatever. She had stuff she wanted to say.
"Hey, you okay?" she asked, hopping down onto the catwalk itself. "Haven't seen ya around here lately."
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He passed her a sideways glance, then went back to staring at his Gundam.
"Is there something you want?"
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Oh well. She was going to say it, dammit, whether he paid attention or not. "Sorry about when we got into that argument. You and your Gundam ain't trash."
Well... its current state notwithstanding. But it'd be okay after some maintenance.
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That said, he glanced at her machine, then back at his. No, her suit was still not a Gundam, and she was a far cry from what a meister should be.
"Don't bother repairing your machine. Neither you nor it belong in a real war." Which, in its own way, was a compliment coming from him.
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And then after that, if she survived all of this, she could go back to how things were. Fighting because she wanted to and being satisfied with the outcome regardless of her nation's goals, and befriending people from other nations as she fought. Without killing anyone.
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No more games.
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She still didn't know whether or not the Ohm she'd killed were drones. Even if they were, that wouldn't really make it right. She remembered pretty clearly how awful she'd felt after the Quarter had returned to Stacy. If she kept fighting, was that how she'd feel all the time?
"...I'm still me," she said. "I won't just stay here when I know I can help. It's not like you can do that, right?"
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"As long as the situation remains as it is, no one has a future."
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She wasn't going to argue the second thing he said. Allenby sure didn't want the rest of everyone's life to be on this awful ship, while the Ohm hunted down worlds and wiped them out like pests.
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Restoring the past didn't appeal to him either. What's gone was gone, and he could accept that.
No, he was all about forging a new future, and to do that, he was going to have to change the current dynamic.
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She was getting mad again, but she just couldn't believe what he was saying. If his organization claimed that they wanted to end war, how could they do that without people in mind? But she pushed down the urge to hit him or start just yelling her opinions at him. She hadn't come over to get into another argument like last time. "If protectin' that planet wasn't your goal, then what was your motivation? Because from what I saw out there, you definitely were fighting for something."
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"Setsuna... the only thing about the past that changes is how you feel about things the present. But nothing else changes. Not others feelings... and certainly not their lives."
The sound of a gunshot caused him to start slightly, bringing him back to reality. And Allenby was still right there. He closed his eyes and let out a breath.
"I have my reasons. You wouldn't understand."
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And then he just gave her the same answer he had last time. "Your reasons sure did a number on your Gundam," she muttered, glancing down at it. "Look, I want to understand. You say that you guys are out to end war, but we're in one bigger than any humans could make. And you fought with everything you had. So why was that?"
She wasn't sure why Setsuna's attitude bothered her so much. But so far he was the only Gundam pilot she'd talked to that she hadn't gotten along with. It got under her skin.
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Its a perfectly logical explanation. Somewhere.
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She grabbed the railing and pushed herself up, swinging her feet a little in thought. "So to end war, are you going to keep fighting alongside the rest of us?"
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