OOC: Birthday!
I've been working on this little project for a while, it's a character CD for Juan to commemorate his 23rd birthday. It started out as something just for fun, but then I decided to post it and make a big deal out of it 'cause I feel girly.
Initially, choosing the songs was pretty easy, but then when I had to cut them down to only five, that's when I was having trouble. I really wanted to put at least one Pete Murray or Evermore song, but the ones that I had in mind probably wouldn't have fit with the rest of them. I had to question myself about what theme I was going for, since a lot of the songs that were initially picked portrayed attitude or some sarcasm. So did I want a badass "Juan is the man" soundtrack, or one that displays his deepest emotions and thoughts? I chose the latter, since it's not often that we get to know what's really in Juan's mind. In the end, I got songs that mostly revolve around his relationship with his father, and the kind of man that he has become now.
But anyway, after looking at the pretty CD cover, we're going to discuss songs~!
Front: Back :
Vindicated - Dashboard Confessional
Hope dangles on a string
Like slow spinning redemption
Winding in and winding out
The shine of it has caught my eye
And roped me in
So, mesmerizing and so hypnotizing,
I am captivated, I am
{Chorus}
Vindicated
I am selfish
I am wrong
I am right
I swear I'm right
Swear I knew it all along
And I am flawed, but I am cleaning up so well
I am seeing in me now the things you swore you saw yourself
So clear
Like the diamond in your ring
Cut to mirror your intention
Oversized and overwhelmed
The shine of which has caught my eye
And rendered me
So isolated,and so motivated
I am certain now that I am
{Chorus}
So turn
up the corners of your lips
Part them and feel my finger tips
Trace the moment, fall forever
Defense is paper thin
Just one touch and I'll be in
Too deep now to ever swim against the current
So let me slip away
So let me slip away
So let me slip away
So let me slip against the current
So let me slip away
So let me slip away
So let me slip away
So let me slip away
{Chorus}
Slight hope
dangles on a string
Like slow spinning redemption...
This was definitely a hard song for me to understand, especially when the titled word has so many different meanings, and the lyrics themselves can be interpreted in so many ways. After listening to it a lot, I've come up with my own interpretation of it. Okay, so it's a song about love, and this guy knows that he kind of stuffed up... like Juan! When Juan first started getting close to Viki, he saw changes in himself that scared even him, but they were good changes. The line "I am seeing in me now the things you swore you saw yourself" suggests that Juan can be the kind of guy that Viki thinks he is - a nice, caring, smart man. However, Juan proved himself wrong when he failed to realize that Viki seemed to share somewhat the same feelings towards him, and he only learned of it after he gave up pursuing Viki and began dating Sierra. At this point, he felt too disgusted at himself to go back to Viki, and figured it would be easier to be with someone who loves him for the jerk that he is, rather than going after the girl who makes him want to be a better man.
Juan's path of guilt didn't end there though. The second verse of the song can be tied to Sierra, because I believe it talks about a married woman. Juan knew that Sierra was married to Nash, yet he still allowed her to seduce him because, let's face it, he's a pretty easy guy. >_> But Juan is also selfish, and that played a big role in it. Not only did he hurt Viki, but he also hurt his friend by hooking up with his wife. Those were rough times for everyone.
In the end, he tries to justify himself by claiming that he saved Sierra from Nash, and that Viki deserves to be with someone better. He also keeps trying to convince himself that whatever feelings he has left for Viki are only there because of guilt, and that maybe he feels obligated to treat her nicely. However, the last part from "Defense is paper thin..." onwards suggests that he's still not over Viki, and if she ever got too close to him again, he's afraid that he'll be so involved with her, that she'll end up getting hurt again. Therefore, part of him wishes that he could just slip away, perhaps be forgotten about. And yet... he still hopes. The end!
Vindicated relates even more to Juan because it can also mean to avenge (his father) as well as to prove oneself's worth (because many people doubt him). Whew, glad we got the complicated one out of the way.
Now I Run - Shannon Noll
Tell me how the circle ends
There's no beginning
Everything that came before
Will come round again
And I look in the mirror
My father’s eyes look back at me
He gave me a road to choose
He gave me freedom
And I pray I’m strong enough
To walk in his shoes
And I, I hope that I become
Half the man he wants me to be
Cause I feel you guiding me
Showing me the way when I’m misdirected
I know your not here
But I feel connected
Cause everything that I am
Comes from a better man
And all that I’ve said and done
Can’t rewrite my history
Right there for all to see
I’m just my father’s son
Taught me to walk, now I run
Now I run
Sometimes when I lose myself
In my weakness
I can feel the touch of his unmistakable hands
And their pushing me forward
Back into the circle again
And I hope my son sees in me
The kind of man that he was to me
And everything that I am
Comes from a better man
And all that I’ve said and done
Can’t rewrite my history
Right there for all to see
I’m just my father’s son
Taught me to walk, now I run
I run
He’s the best and the worst of me
Sometimes I don’t know where my common sense is
I may be a sinner
But my best defense is
Everything that I am
Comes from a better man
And all that I’ve said and done
Can’t rewrite my history
Right here for all to see
I’m just my father’s son
Yeah oh
I’m just my father’s son
Taught me to walk
Now I run
Ahh, gotta love our very own Shannon Noll. <3 The song is pretty self-explanatory, since Shannon sung this one about his father, after he passed away. I like the "My father’s eyes look back at me" part when he looks in the mirror, it's just so sweet. It also shows that Juan would want his future son (not Sasuke, but he can, too :P) to love him as much as he loved his dad. But yeah... it's a sweet song, and whatever good qualities people can find in Juan, they all come from a better man - his dad!
It Doesn't Matter - Crush 40
Well, I don't show off, don't criticize
I'm just livin' by my own feelings
And I won't give in, won't compromise
I just only have a steadfast heart of gold
[Prechorus 1]
I don't know why
I can't leave though it might be tough
But I ain't out of control
Just livin' by my word
Don't ask me why
I don't need a reason
I got my way, my own way
[Chorus 1]
It doesn't matter now what happens
I will never give up the fight
There is no way I will run away
From all of my frights
Long as the voice inside me says go
I will always keep on running
There is no way to stop me
From going to the very top
It doesn't matter
Who is wrong and who is right
[Verse 2]
Well, I won't look back
I don't need to
Time won't wait
And I got so much to do
Where do I stop?
It's all a blur and so unclear
Well, I don't know
But I can't be wrong
[Chorus 2]
This fight is not for anybody
This is purely for myself
There is no way I'm gonna give up
'Till the very end
I can't tell what is wrong and what is right
I've got to find the answer
But until I do there's no way
I will ever give up
Place all your bets
On the one you think is right
[Repeat Chorus 1]
Well, there's one song with attitude (no kidding, the album is "Songs with Attitude"). It's a nice change from the previous two, which I found a little sappy, but the theme still remains the same. Every line in this song has a meaning for Juan, and I hope I won't have to go through all of them to explain, especially if some are self-explanatory again. Even the title of the song portrays Juan's usual attitude towards things. It's basically about Juan being who he is, and his inner conflict about whether it would be right to fight for revenge, because it's not the way of a martial artist. But Juan is driven by revenge, he refuses to die until he avenges his father, and he wouldn't train half as much if this never happened to him. But anyway, let's break it down... the first prechorus mentions that Juan can't leave Budehuc, which is true, because he wouldn't even know where to look for the man. But he also says that he's not out of control, not wild, not controlled by rage... he's only fulfilling his promise to himself. That "Dont ask me why..." mostly shows that Juan doesn't really want to talk about it - and he never does! Besides, he never really gives reasons for anything, does he?
The second chorus obviously shows that Juan fights for personal reasons, not because he believes that the martial artist should be punished for killing dojo masters. If this happened to anyone else, Juan wouldn't care. It wouldn't have been his problem. Therefore, he can't tell if he's doing the right thing - should he fight for revenge? Should he kill that mysterious man? Will that make everything alright? As the song says, it doesn't matter. For now, at least.
I Grieve - Peter Gabriel
It was only one hour ago
It was all so different then
Theres nothing yet has really sunk in
Looks like it always did
This flesh and bone
Its just the way that you would tie in
Now theres no-one home
I grieve for you
You leave me
so hard to move on
Still loving whats gone
They say life carries on
Carries on and on and on and on
The news that truly shocks is the empty empty page
While the final rattle rocks its empty empty cage
And I cant handle this
I grieve for you
You leave me
Let it out and move on
Missing whats gone
They say life carries on
They say life carries on and on and on
Life carries on
In the people I meet
In everyone thats out on the street
In all the dogs and cats
In the flies and rats
In the rot and the rust
In the ashes and the dust
Life carries on and on and on and on
Life carries on and on and on
Its just the car that we ride in
A home we reside in
The face that we hide in
The way we are tied in
And life carries on and on and on and on
Life carries on and on and on
Did I dream this belief?
Or did I believe this dream?
Now I can find relief
I grieve
This song was recently used in the 100th episode of Smallville when someone important to Clark (it's fairly obvious who XP) died and it worked so perfectly. Just looking at Clark's face and listening to this song almost makes me emo, but I imagine it's even harder for people who can relate to this song. >: The guy's voice as he sings it sounds as if he's genuinely grieving, too.
I think this song relates more to the younger Juan, who would've mourned more than his present self (because time heals and stuff). By the end of this song, it completely changes to something more... upbeat (seems kinda random, too), which is probably a transition to the current Juan. And then at the very end, he says he still grieves, as Juan would. But yeah, I guess this song is pretty clear.
23 - Jimmy Eat World
I have felt for sure last night
At once we said goodbye
No one else will know these lonely dreams
No one else will know that part of me
I'm still driving away
And I'm sorry every day
I won't always love these selfish things
I won't always live...
Not stopping...
It was my turn to decide
I knew this was our time
No one else will have me like you do
No one else will have me, only you
You'll sit alone forever
If you wait for the right time
What are you hoping for?
I'm here and now I'm ready
Holding on tight
Don't give away the end
The one thing that stays mine
Amazing still it seems
I'll be 23
I won't always love what I'll never have
I won't always live in my regrets
You'll sit alone forever
If you wait for the right time
What are you hoping for?
I'm here and now I'm ready
Holding on tight
Don't give away the end
The one thing that stays mine
You'll sit alone forever
If you wait for the right time
What are you hoping for?
I'm here and now I'm ready
Holding on tight
Don't give away the end
The one thing that stays mine...
Ahh, save the best for last. I haven't heard many Jimmy Eat World songs, but this one is definitely different from the ones I have heard. I love how we just hear the guitar bit for about a minute at the start, too, I don't know why, I just do. I guess it fits somehow.
As deep as the song is, it can be interpreted in a number of ways. Basically, either the song is about his father, or about the person that Juan likes, or maybe both! Just read the lyrics. It'll alllll make sense to you.
Yep, I'm seriously burned out. It seems Kenken wasn't designed to write so much, especially to a limited audience. u_u
[Needless note to end with: The character, the music and the CD art doesn't belong to me. Nothing does. And I'm not making any profit out of this, so I won't have any pennies to give when I'm sued. :D Please don't sue. Kenken already lives in the land of convicts.]
Initially, choosing the songs was pretty easy, but then when I had to cut them down to only five, that's when I was having trouble. I really wanted to put at least one Pete Murray or Evermore song, but the ones that I had in mind probably wouldn't have fit with the rest of them. I had to question myself about what theme I was going for, since a lot of the songs that were initially picked portrayed attitude or some sarcasm. So did I want a badass "Juan is the man" soundtrack, or one that displays his deepest emotions and thoughts? I chose the latter, since it's not often that we get to know what's really in Juan's mind. In the end, I got songs that mostly revolve around his relationship with his father, and the kind of man that he has become now.
But anyway, after looking at the pretty CD cover, we're going to discuss songs~!
Front: Back :
Vindicated - Dashboard Confessional
Hope dangles on a string
Like slow spinning redemption
Winding in and winding out
The shine of it has caught my eye
And roped me in
So, mesmerizing and so hypnotizing,
I am captivated, I am
{Chorus}
Vindicated
I am selfish
I am wrong
I am right
I swear I'm right
Swear I knew it all along
And I am flawed, but I am cleaning up so well
I am seeing in me now the things you swore you saw yourself
So clear
Like the diamond in your ring
Cut to mirror your intention
Oversized and overwhelmed
The shine of which has caught my eye
And rendered me
So isolated,and so motivated
I am certain now that I am
{Chorus}
So turn
up the corners of your lips
Part them and feel my finger tips
Trace the moment, fall forever
Defense is paper thin
Just one touch and I'll be in
Too deep now to ever swim against the current
So let me slip away
So let me slip away
So let me slip away
So let me slip against the current
So let me slip away
So let me slip away
So let me slip away
So let me slip away
{Chorus}
Slight hope
dangles on a string
Like slow spinning redemption...
This was definitely a hard song for me to understand, especially when the titled word has so many different meanings, and the lyrics themselves can be interpreted in so many ways. After listening to it a lot, I've come up with my own interpretation of it. Okay, so it's a song about love, and this guy knows that he kind of stuffed up... like Juan! When Juan first started getting close to Viki, he saw changes in himself that scared even him, but they were good changes. The line "I am seeing in me now the things you swore you saw yourself" suggests that Juan can be the kind of guy that Viki thinks he is - a nice, caring, smart man. However, Juan proved himself wrong when he failed to realize that Viki seemed to share somewhat the same feelings towards him, and he only learned of it after he gave up pursuing Viki and began dating Sierra. At this point, he felt too disgusted at himself to go back to Viki, and figured it would be easier to be with someone who loves him for the jerk that he is, rather than going after the girl who makes him want to be a better man.
Juan's path of guilt didn't end there though. The second verse of the song can be tied to Sierra, because I believe it talks about a married woman. Juan knew that Sierra was married to Nash, yet he still allowed her to seduce him because, let's face it, he's a pretty easy guy. >_> But Juan is also selfish, and that played a big role in it. Not only did he hurt Viki, but he also hurt his friend by hooking up with his wife. Those were rough times for everyone.
In the end, he tries to justify himself by claiming that he saved Sierra from Nash, and that Viki deserves to be with someone better. He also keeps trying to convince himself that whatever feelings he has left for Viki are only there because of guilt, and that maybe he feels obligated to treat her nicely. However, the last part from "Defense is paper thin..." onwards suggests that he's still not over Viki, and if she ever got too close to him again, he's afraid that he'll be so involved with her, that she'll end up getting hurt again. Therefore, part of him wishes that he could just slip away, perhaps be forgotten about. And yet... he still hopes. The end!
Vindicated relates even more to Juan because it can also mean to avenge (his father) as well as to prove oneself's worth (because many people doubt him). Whew, glad we got the complicated one out of the way.
Now I Run - Shannon Noll
Tell me how the circle ends
There's no beginning
Everything that came before
Will come round again
And I look in the mirror
My father’s eyes look back at me
He gave me a road to choose
He gave me freedom
And I pray I’m strong enough
To walk in his shoes
And I, I hope that I become
Half the man he wants me to be
Cause I feel you guiding me
Showing me the way when I’m misdirected
I know your not here
But I feel connected
Cause everything that I am
Comes from a better man
And all that I’ve said and done
Can’t rewrite my history
Right there for all to see
I’m just my father’s son
Taught me to walk, now I run
Now I run
Sometimes when I lose myself
In my weakness
I can feel the touch of his unmistakable hands
And their pushing me forward
Back into the circle again
And I hope my son sees in me
The kind of man that he was to me
And everything that I am
Comes from a better man
And all that I’ve said and done
Can’t rewrite my history
Right there for all to see
I’m just my father’s son
Taught me to walk, now I run
I run
He’s the best and the worst of me
Sometimes I don’t know where my common sense is
I may be a sinner
But my best defense is
Everything that I am
Comes from a better man
And all that I’ve said and done
Can’t rewrite my history
Right here for all to see
I’m just my father’s son
Yeah oh
I’m just my father’s son
Taught me to walk
Now I run
Ahh, gotta love our very own Shannon Noll. <3 The song is pretty self-explanatory, since Shannon sung this one about his father, after he passed away. I like the "My father’s eyes look back at me" part when he looks in the mirror, it's just so sweet. It also shows that Juan would want his future son (not Sasuke, but he can, too :P) to love him as much as he loved his dad. But yeah... it's a sweet song, and whatever good qualities people can find in Juan, they all come from a better man - his dad!
It Doesn't Matter - Crush 40
Well, I don't show off, don't criticize
I'm just livin' by my own feelings
And I won't give in, won't compromise
I just only have a steadfast heart of gold
[Prechorus 1]
I don't know why
I can't leave though it might be tough
But I ain't out of control
Just livin' by my word
Don't ask me why
I don't need a reason
I got my way, my own way
[Chorus 1]
It doesn't matter now what happens
I will never give up the fight
There is no way I will run away
From all of my frights
Long as the voice inside me says go
I will always keep on running
There is no way to stop me
From going to the very top
It doesn't matter
Who is wrong and who is right
[Verse 2]
Well, I won't look back
I don't need to
Time won't wait
And I got so much to do
Where do I stop?
It's all a blur and so unclear
Well, I don't know
But I can't be wrong
[Chorus 2]
This fight is not for anybody
This is purely for myself
There is no way I'm gonna give up
'Till the very end
I can't tell what is wrong and what is right
I've got to find the answer
But until I do there's no way
I will ever give up
Place all your bets
On the one you think is right
[Repeat Chorus 1]
Well, there's one song with attitude (no kidding, the album is "Songs with Attitude"). It's a nice change from the previous two, which I found a little sappy, but the theme still remains the same. Every line in this song has a meaning for Juan, and I hope I won't have to go through all of them to explain, especially if some are self-explanatory again. Even the title of the song portrays Juan's usual attitude towards things. It's basically about Juan being who he is, and his inner conflict about whether it would be right to fight for revenge, because it's not the way of a martial artist. But Juan is driven by revenge, he refuses to die until he avenges his father, and he wouldn't train half as much if this never happened to him. But anyway, let's break it down... the first prechorus mentions that Juan can't leave Budehuc, which is true, because he wouldn't even know where to look for the man. But he also says that he's not out of control, not wild, not controlled by rage... he's only fulfilling his promise to himself. That "Dont ask me why..." mostly shows that Juan doesn't really want to talk about it - and he never does! Besides, he never really gives reasons for anything, does he?
The second chorus obviously shows that Juan fights for personal reasons, not because he believes that the martial artist should be punished for killing dojo masters. If this happened to anyone else, Juan wouldn't care. It wouldn't have been his problem. Therefore, he can't tell if he's doing the right thing - should he fight for revenge? Should he kill that mysterious man? Will that make everything alright? As the song says, it doesn't matter. For now, at least.
I Grieve - Peter Gabriel
It was only one hour ago
It was all so different then
Theres nothing yet has really sunk in
Looks like it always did
This flesh and bone
Its just the way that you would tie in
Now theres no-one home
I grieve for you
You leave me
so hard to move on
Still loving whats gone
They say life carries on
Carries on and on and on and on
The news that truly shocks is the empty empty page
While the final rattle rocks its empty empty cage
And I cant handle this
I grieve for you
You leave me
Let it out and move on
Missing whats gone
They say life carries on
They say life carries on and on and on
Life carries on
In the people I meet
In everyone thats out on the street
In all the dogs and cats
In the flies and rats
In the rot and the rust
In the ashes and the dust
Life carries on and on and on and on
Life carries on and on and on
Its just the car that we ride in
A home we reside in
The face that we hide in
The way we are tied in
And life carries on and on and on and on
Life carries on and on and on
Did I dream this belief?
Or did I believe this dream?
Now I can find relief
I grieve
This song was recently used in the 100th episode of Smallville when someone important to Clark (it's fairly obvious who XP) died and it worked so perfectly. Just looking at Clark's face and listening to this song almost makes me emo, but I imagine it's even harder for people who can relate to this song. >: The guy's voice as he sings it sounds as if he's genuinely grieving, too.
I think this song relates more to the younger Juan, who would've mourned more than his present self (because time heals and stuff). By the end of this song, it completely changes to something more... upbeat (seems kinda random, too), which is probably a transition to the current Juan. And then at the very end, he says he still grieves, as Juan would. But yeah, I guess this song is pretty clear.
23 - Jimmy Eat World
I have felt for sure last night
At once we said goodbye
No one else will know these lonely dreams
No one else will know that part of me
I'm still driving away
And I'm sorry every day
I won't always love these selfish things
I won't always live...
Not stopping...
It was my turn to decide
I knew this was our time
No one else will have me like you do
No one else will have me, only you
You'll sit alone forever
If you wait for the right time
What are you hoping for?
I'm here and now I'm ready
Holding on tight
Don't give away the end
The one thing that stays mine
Amazing still it seems
I'll be 23
I won't always love what I'll never have
I won't always live in my regrets
You'll sit alone forever
If you wait for the right time
What are you hoping for?
I'm here and now I'm ready
Holding on tight
Don't give away the end
The one thing that stays mine
You'll sit alone forever
If you wait for the right time
What are you hoping for?
I'm here and now I'm ready
Holding on tight
Don't give away the end
The one thing that stays mine...
Ahh, save the best for last. I haven't heard many Jimmy Eat World songs, but this one is definitely different from the ones I have heard. I love how we just hear the guitar bit for about a minute at the start, too, I don't know why, I just do. I guess it fits somehow.
As deep as the song is, it can be interpreted in a number of ways. Basically, either the song is about his father, or about the person that Juan likes, or maybe both! Just read the lyrics. It'll alllll make sense to you.
Yep, I'm seriously burned out. It seems Kenken wasn't designed to write so much, especially to a limited audience. u_u
[Needless note to end with: The character, the music and the CD art doesn't belong to me. Nothing does. And I'm not making any profit out of this, so I won't have any pennies to give when I'm sued. :D Please don't sue. Kenken already lives in the land of convicts.]