I understand sugar and spice, but 'nice'?

[torscha]

I just see no value in 'nice'. It either denotes pleasantness (which is so exceedingly wishy-washy that one really needn't bother; saying that something pleasant was 'nice' tends to be construed as damning it with faint praise), exactness (in a fussy way, which seems to connote fussiness and petty OCD-aspie behaviour than actual valuable accuracy

Comments

[lyrad]

If you compare it in a premise where the objective is to be as correct as possible, then of course truth has to take precedence.

But niceness has its own value in areas in which it applies. In dating or relationships, where the goal is to appear as attractive as feasibly possible, being nice then has significantly more value than being say, a total bitch. Or when everybody in office is a bitch, and you come home to a wife that is equally as bitchy, that just.. generally sucks. Nice is valuable in areas of personal relation.

In early childhood as well, kids look to their parents for emotional connection. Kids in a sense 'depend' on niceness to form relational trust, gain confidence in speaking or gain any motivation to do anything at all. It's the people who least appreciate social order or have psychological deficiencies that end up making dumb decisions like going to war or committing petty crime, all of which attributable to upbringing and self esteem.

[torscha]

You can be kind and compassionate and loving and supportive without being 'nice'. 'Nice' is just a halfhearted attempt at the above. If you want to be kind, be kind until it hurts, until you bleed. If you want to support someone, then do so wholeheartedly, even if you have to do things they'll consider unpleasant.

"I won't do x although it's the best thing to do, because it's impolite/unconventional/not 'nice'," is an idiotic line of thought.

If you paid attention to my definition of 'nice', I wasn't saying don't be good. But don't be good out of fear, out of a sense of being armtwisted by the regard of others, out of a desire to profit from it. Be good because you are good, or want to be.

I hate halfhearted civility.

[lyrad]

http://www.youtube.com/watch#!v=xMrN3Rh55uM&feature=channel