Feeling Sorry For Rogue-Chapter Three
Title: Feeling Sorry For Rogue
Author: Tornado Ally
Rating: PG-13
Summary: Set about 4 months after X2. Rogue's life has become pretty complicated. Logan's gone, Christmas is coming, and her relationship with her friends consists mostly of notes left in unlikely places. Ororo gets the brilliant idea to teach the kids the Joy of the Envelope, and now a total stranger knows more about her than anyone else. Told through letters, emails, and notes from Secret Societies, like in Feeling Sorry for Celia
Disclaimer: Don't own 'em
Rogue,
Thank you so much for the bracelet! It was very sweet of you to think of me. It is so cute, and you're right, it does apply to my life :)
Sigh. I'm sitting in the auditorium, watching the play rehearsals.
Why do I do this to myself? It's getting to the scene where Leah and Ben have to kiss, and I can't look away. It's like I do this on purpose. I guess that means I'm masochistic, doesn't it? That's courtesy of my SAT word-of-the-day calendar (my aunt's get me the coolest presents-not!) I'm not even sure if it applies to this situation, but I think it does. I watch the rehearsals, I watch them kiss, and it hurts, and yet I do it anyway. All because I don't have the guts to tell Ben how I feel about him.
Thanks for your last letter, too. It makes my day when I can walk by the staff room and pick up a letter from you, even though this one wasn't exactly cheerful. I feel bad for that guy John. From what you've said, it doesn't seem like he knew how to reach out for help, and was probably very insecure and self-conscious.
I didn't come up with that on my own. That was my psychology teacher talking. I told her about John (not using his name, or anything specific) and that was what she said. That kind of thing is textbook, she told me, and I'd know that too if I ever read my textbook, instead of writing notes to my friends in class. I told her to take it up with Mr. Sooter, as he's the one who thought the Joy of the Envelope was such a brilliant idea. She told me to stop being a smart-ass and sit down.
I didn't realize stating the obvious qualified me for the smart-ass distinction. Leah told me I try to hard to get a rise out of people, but she was smiling. Ben was smirking at me. He clearly is in love with me.
I don't ALWAYS try to get a rise out of people. School is just so boring, and teachers act like it's totally normal for people who are practically adults to be corralled into this building every day and listen, unquestioningly, to the knowledge they spew forth. I know for a FACT that several people find me highly entertaining, so really, I'm just providing a service to my fellow prisoners. I mean classmates.
I didn't know you had a boyfriend. What's he like? Is he cute?
So, it's the day before Christmas break, which should mean that we wouldn't be able to talk to each other for two weeks, but I'm going to give you my address so that you can still write to me and tell me what is going on in your world.
Maybe we can get a coffee or something over the break? It would be great to meet you in person. Then again, I'm going to be really busy. There are a couple of parties going on around here...maybe you could come to one of them? If you're interested, I'll give you the addresses.
You know what? I never got around to asking you what your mutation is. I realize that's a really bold question, but in the newspaper they talk about all these dangerous mutants with killer powers, so it would be kind of cool and terrifying if you were one of those. How about Kitty and Jubilee?
Oh, come on! Sorry, but the drama teacher is making them kiss over and over, and over again, and I don't think I can take much more of this. Emma's at the door anyway, which means my dad is here to pick me up. Wow, she does not look happy.
Eat something good for dinner tonight (not spaghetti)
-Keltie
For Rogue When She Gets Back From Swimming
Hiya! I thought that I might get a chance to say good-bye to you before my parents came to pick me up for Christmas, but I guess your fish genes are acting up again and you had to get in the pool.
Just kidding. Wear a swim cap this time though! I'll love you no matter what your hair looks like, but if I recall you didn't enjoy looking like you were radioactive.
I left your present under the tree. Have a really great Christmas and I'll see you when I get back.
Love you,
Bobby
Rogue,
Get out of the pool right now. I have some Very Important News to tell you. I found out why Kitty has been acting so weird lately.
-Jubilee
To: Keltie_Matthews@freemail.com
From: Rogue@XaviersSchool.edu.org
Subject: Thank God
Keltie,
I'm so glad you gave me your address. I need an excuse to escape the Absolute and Total Chaos that is Christmas at the mansion.
First of all, combining an excess supply of candy canes with my good friend, Ms. Jubilation Lee? Recipe for disaster if I ever heard one.
Mix in lovesick, hormonal teenagers, a love letter from an ex-boyfriend, a sweet and confused new boyfriend, and mutant powers? Well, let's just say the boathouse will be good as new by next year. I can't say the same for the birds.
I guess I should give you some background information. We had this friend, Peter, who used to go to school with us. He was awesome-a real sweetheart, talented, and hotter than hell with the blower on-i.e., very hot. He was also very, very in love with my dear friend Kitty.
So they were dating pretty much from right after I got to school until right after the mansion was attacked and the whole world changed. And then Peter's little sister, got sick, and he went back home to Russia to help his family. The Professor offered to help, but Petey said it was his duty to go, etc. Let me tell you that on top of everything else, saying bye to Pete almost destroyed Kitty. She didn't come out of our room for days. And what made it worse was that everyone was grieving then, so I think Kit felt EXTRA guilty that she was moping over her boyfriend when everyone else had this other stuff on her mind.
When it had been over a month and she still hadn't heard from Peter, she started getting worried. But then Jubilee overheard the Professor talking to Logan and apparently Peter had been giving him weekly updates on his sisters condition. WELL. Jubes and I were worried that would be the last straw for Kitty, and we'd NEVER get her out of her room, but instead of being sad when she heard this, Kitty got angry. Really angry. Which turned out to be exactly what she needed because she finally washed her hair, came out of her room, and told us she was ready to move on. That night we had a campfire in the back garden and Jubes and I spiked her Coke with bourbon and we talked about how stupid boys were. And how all the boys we knew had this saviour complex and this sense of twisted honour, so even when they're doing the "right thing" they end up hurting someone anyway. Not that I know from experience or anything.
After that point, things started getting a lot better. She even started almost-dating this guy Andrew in our year. So OF COURSE Peter had to go screw it up by sending Kitty a letter telling her he still loved her. Classic, right? I mean, I know his sister is sick and that totally sucks for him, but why did he have to mess with her head like that? It's so dumb. So now Kitty is confused, and Andrew's walking around with this look on his face like he wants to punch a wall, and Jubilee is trying to make everyone feel better by getting me involved in one of her harebrained schemes.
WHATEVER. It's Christmas, I don't want to think about boys anymore.
The Mansion looks so pretty right now. It's literally COVERED in holiday decorations. And I'm sure you've seen all this snow we've been getting? I'm writing this in the library, which has huge picture windows, so I can see the snow falling down softly on the grounds. It looks like a Norman Rockwell painting, if Normal Rockwell ever painted a snowball fight that involved teleportation and fireworks.
I grew up in Mississipi, so a white Christmas is like, a Big Deal for me. How about for you? Are you one of those people that hates Christmas? I've always loved it, although I hated how it seemed to get less special every year. This year, I'm actually really excited, though. I have a roof over my head and good friends and the best surrogate family I could have asked for. As far as I know, there's no threat of being kidnapped, attacked, or used in an evil genius's plan. There's just one thing missing, but I have a good feeling about this Christmas.
To reply to some of the stuff you said in your last letter, yes I do have a boyfriend. His name is Bobby Drake. He is about 5'9 and has dark blond hair and blue eyes. He's gone for Christmas because he's trying to patch things up with his parents, who weren't exactly pleased when they found out he was a mutant. We call him Iceman because, well, he makes ice. Kitty can walk through walls and Jubes gets this weird energy thing from her hands. Don't ask me what it's called. And I can-(illegible scribbling)
I would love to get coffee over the break, but I'm not sure I'll be able to make it to any of those parties. Do you go to parties a lot? Sounds like it. I guess going to school here has left me deprived of some teenage rituals like that.
If you want to make Ben jealous, I can always give Sean your number. He's pretty hot, I think, but the thing is, he's also very annoying, and he is getting on my nerves lately. He can be the biggest jackass ever, seriously, with the way that he has a snarky comeback for everything, but then again, he can be really sweet. Like the other day, Kitty had a run-in with some kids at the mall, and Sean offered to find them,and rip them apart, limb from limb, and then stab them with toothpicks and make them take bath in vinegar. Nice, right?
I don't think that you are a masochist, not really. I sort of said something about your problem to Ororo, (she's the teacher that assigned us this project) and she said some things that I think really make sense.
First, you probably want to make sure nothing is actually going on between them.
Second, you probably want to make it as awkward as possible for them, as your own personal form of revenge. I'm not saying this is conscious revenge, but it can't be easy for them to kiss day after day, if you guys are all as close as you say you are. It probably makes it even more awkward for them if you're there.
Okay, the second part was all me, not Ororo. She seemed a little too pleased that we were getting along so well. Hmm. I'll have to make sure Jubilee whips up another ingenious plan before the holidays are over. We can't let the teachers get too cocky.
Write back, hopefully before Christmas (4 more days),
Rogue
Rogue,
That's more like it. Staging an elaborate scavenger hunt to take your best friend's mind off of her ex-boyfriend. Teaming up with Jubilee to make sure that Kitty and Andrew achieved the maximum time alone during the scavenger hunt was further example of your brilliance during this operation!
And we're sure the Professor will understand that the boathouse was just a necessary casualty of war.
Good Work,
The Best Friends Club
To Rogue and Jubilee,
Your detention will be served at 5:00 sharp. I know a card catalogue that needs to be updated electronically, and it has your names all over it...
-Scott
ROGUE! LOOK AT THIS NOTE! PINNED TO YOUR SWIMSUIT!
I think he gets more sadistic every day.
See you in the library, my quick-typing friend!
-Jubes
To: Rogue@XaviersSchool.edu.org
From: Keltie_Matthews@freemail.com
Subject: Re:Thank God
Wait...kidnapped? Has this happened before? I hope you were just joking, but if not...please explain!
Forgive me for saying this, but it seems like you're not exactly enthusiastic about this Iceman dude...is he like a total jerk or something? Because I have some powerful friends here at school who, ice powers or not, could probably kick his ass if you asked. Just say the word, (it's potato, by the way) and six over aggressive, attitude-adjustment-needing, too-much-time-on-their-hands 16 year olds are the way.
Also, uh...mansion? That sounds like a prissy private school girl thing to me. I'm sorry but it does. I wish MY library had big picture windows I could watch the snow fall from. I wish we had "grounds". No, all we've got in our library are windows that are too far up to see out of, and they even have bars on them. Like a PRISON. By the time snow falls into the school yard it's already slush because of the multitude of smokers who stand outside in between classes pretending they're cool and not freezing their asses off.
I can tell from your unintelligible writing that you don't want to tell me what kind of power you have, and that's cool. Don't worry about it. It's probably something I wouldn't want to tell a lot of people about, either.
About the going-to-parties thing, I guess I do kind of go to a lot of parties, but it's not really something I think about. It's just how it's always been around here I guess. It's not like there's anything better to do.
I love your teacher's analysis of why I keep on watching the kissing scene between Ben and Leah, and it made me feel so much better. I'm not sure why. This is kind of embarrassing, but sometimes I just get this feeling like I'm on a whole other plane than most people, you know? Or like maybe I have mental issues or something because I do things like watch them kiss over and over or sometimes I just hate everyone SO much just for no reason. It feels like maybe there's this really awful thing inside of me, and when I spend too much time thinking about it I get really sad, but then I don't know why I'm sad, you know? You probably think I'm crazy or something, now. Maybe I am.
Some interesting developments happened over the weekend. One, exciting and humorous, the second SO HUMONGOUS AND BIG AND EXITING THAT IT MUST BE DESCRIBED IN CAPITAL LETTERS.
Okay, the first and less exciting development:
My sister got her period. I know this doesn't sound so great, but it was her first one, and I wasn't there to help her with it. This wouldn't seem so bad except that we live alone with our dad, and he had to deal with it all on his own for the first time. My sister transcribed several of the conversations that went on over the weekend. Here are a couple for your entertainment:
Dad: Wha...but why? Your sister is 16, and she hasn't...hasn't...
Emma: She got hers when she was eleven. She called Aunt Carolyn to ask her what to do.
Dad: That's not possible. How did she get the money to buy all the...er...stuff?
Emma: Um...her allowance?
This is actually, though not as humorous as the others, the best conversation of all, because my dad told me that he would be increasing my allowance by 7 bucks a week to compensate for all the money I spent in the last 5 years. Ha! He doesn't know that most of the money came straight out of his wallet when he wasn't looking.
Second conversation:
Dad: It lasts seven days! And it comes every month!
And my personal favorite (Emma has added in the actions):
Emma: Dad, I need to buy some tampons
Dad: What? I just bought you about $50 worth of them!
Emma: No, dad, tampons.
Dad: What the hell is the difference?
Emma: (raising her eyebrows, but blushing furiously) Do you really want to know?
Dad: (Slaps his credit card down on the table) Go! Buy whatever you want!
So yeah, that was the less exciting thing that happened while I was away. The next really big thing is so big, I have to save it for the next letter because I'm tired and have to go to bed.
Love,
Keltie.
PS. I'm going to Baltimore to visit my family tomorrow for Christmas, and I'm only coming back on the day after so I wont be able to get any email.
P.P.S. As much a I would like to use Sean to make Ben jealous, I could never do that to Ben.
To: Keltie_Matthews@freemail.com
From: Rogue@XaviersSchool.edu.org
Subject: Mele Kalikimaka!
Merry Christmas! I snuck up here to write you this e-mail before dinner. Jubilee is having a field day downstairs...she reminds me of a small child sometimes, with the way that boxes and wrapping paper can entertain her for hours. Kitty and I have been much more focused on our actual presents! Which were pretty amazing. How about you? Did you get anything cool for Christmas?
Hold on while I go look at your letter again.
Those convos between your dad and your sister are hilar! I showed Kitty and she said she went through the same thing. Ahh, growing up...what a painfully awkward experience!
Speaking of growing up...I don't think you're crazy. I know I'm only 18 and so it's not like I have eons of experience over you, but certain life experiences have taught me a lot of things, so I'm going to share them with you.
I ran away from home when I was 17. For 5 months I lived on the road, basically, hitching rides from truckers and working odd jobs and trying to save up enough money to head north. I met a lot of people during this time, good people and bad people and that was how I met Logan. After the whole ordeal with Magneto (don't worry, I'll explain it) I suddenly found myself living in a mansion, going to school, having friends, and even a boyfriend. Can you say Cinderella story much? I mean, it's not like everything was peachy from then on, but it was a pretty sweet deal.
The funny thing was that while I was on the road, there would be days when I would be almost broke, but I'd have food in my stomach and a place to sleep that night. Even though things were still pretty bad, I'd find myself grinning as the road went by, when a really good song came on the radio, or I had a good conversation with a truck driver. I had happy moments, and sometimes...sometimes here, I'll be hanging out with my friends, and we'll be stuffing our faces in the kitchen or lounging in my bedroom and I'll be wearing hundred-dollar jeans, and even though I know I should feel over-the-moon happy, suddenly I'll just feel so, so, sad. For absolutely no reason.
I used to think it was because of the other personalities in my head (seriously, just be patient, it's coming) but when I talked to Kitty and Jubilee about it once, they said they get the same thing. And it's not really that we're upset for NO reason, it's usually that we're upset about something but we don't know how to describe it, or don't want to describe it, or it feels stupid or insignificant or too vague to put a name to.
I also think that sometimes we feel things inside that don't correspond with what's going on outside, and that's normal. I think it's part of growing up.
I don't know about you, but I'm ready to be done growing up. I'd really prefer to have all the answers now, thanks very much.
Okay, this e-mail has been serious enough already, but it wasn't meant to be this long. I wrote you a letter yesterday that I actually put in the mail (with a stamp and everything) so you should get it in a few days. I wanted to write you this e-mail as a bit of a warning because you might not want to be friends with me after you read it. Basically, it explains everything that happened in the last year and a half, from when I first found out I was a mutant, to about 4 months ago. If you remember, that was about the time the world seemed like it was about to come to an end and President McKenna did his about-face on mutant affairs. This letter should explain all of that.
It's going to sound crazy, and maybe you'll think I'm even making it up. I'm not though, I swear. It took me a really long time to write out and I even had to go ask a couple of people to make sure I had my facts straight. It shouldn't need to be said, but I'm going to anyway: This is super confidential. Please don't share this with anyone. And if you don't want to be friends after, that's okay. But you should! Because I'm awesome. And my life should be a movie. Kitty thinks Brittany Snow should play her, and apparently "that dude that was in that movie, you know the one I'm talking about, Rogue!" should play Logan. According to Jubilee. I guess he's the one with the hair. Zac Effron could play my boyfriend and we'd all live happily ever after until the sequel, in which all our characters would be destroyed and we'd gross like, 3 dollars.
Sounds good, as long as I see a portion of that 3 dollars.
Anyway, have a Happy New Year and don't forget to tell me that BIG HUMONGOUS NEWS!
Love and disco balls,
Rogue