Damaged Souls - Part 16/?
Title: Damaged Souls - Part 16/?
Pairings: Willow/Tosh, Spike/Owen, past Willow/Tara, and mentioned past Xander/Willow, Oz/Willow and Willow/Kennedy. (This chapter)
Word Count: 3,490
Rating: PG-13 (This chapter)
Status: Incomplete
Note: This is the third and final fic of a series I've begun. This story begins shortly after Buffy's Chosen.
Summary: BTVS crossover - When Ianto returns to Cardiff, Jack and the Torchwood team must figure out how to react to the changes in him, as well as how to react to the new friends this unfamiliar Ianto brought with him.
Note: Okay, you guys. Sadly, this isn't a sign of regular posting coming back. After some work, demonchildekyra and I were able to salvage the edits I had mentioned. It took some digging through lots of MSN conversations, but we did find it and I was able to reinsert the edits into the chapter. As of right now, I'm officially out of chapters for all of you, but finals week ends on Friday and then I'm off of school for a month before I start my summer classes, so I'm going to see what I can pull out and hoopefully get something for you. You guys have been great since I lost my stuff and I just want to thank you.
Note 2: Also for a bit of self-pimping, if you can't tell from my icon, "Damaged Souls" has been nominated for a Children of Time award under the WIP category. Please vote!
Note 3: There is also a banner with the story now that was made by the lovely demonchildekyra. Thank you, hun! Her Torchwood/Twilight crossover has also been nominated under the WIP - Jack/Ianto category on Children of Time, so please take a moment to vote again.
I'm guessing you guys just want to get to the chapter now, huh?
Previous Stories:
Story One: Moving On
Story Two: While You Were Gone
This Story:
Previous Chapters:
Chapter 1 - Chapter 2 - Chapter 3 - Chapter 4 - Chapter 5 - Chapter 6 - Chapter 7 - Chapter 8 - Chapter 9 - Chapter 10 - Chapter 11 - Chapter 12 - Chapter 13 - Chapter 14 - Chapter 15
New Chapter:
“Ow!”
“Sorry.”
Tosh’s eyes turned down to Willow, her leg held out in front of her as the redhead bandaged the gash from the weevil hunt. Willow didn’t look up at her as she finished cleaning the wound and whispered something she didn’t catch. She felt the magic course through her as Willow healed her, felt the tingle of pure power rush up her leg and to her chest.
It wasn’t like any other feeling. It was the second time Willow had healed an injury for her and it felt as…as incredible as the first. She wondered just how Willow felt, holding all that magic within her. It was dizzying.
Her head felt a bit fuzzy as Willow rose to her feet and she shook her head, smiling softly as the two Willows merged into one. “Thanks.”
Willow’s hand strayed to her leg, fingers brushing where the gash had been. “It was my fault.”
“It was not,” Tosh argued, “We’re all struggling with this. All of us are learning new stuff. It’s not unbelievable that we’d have a bit of trouble adjusting. We all,” she closed her eyes, “We’re all worried about Ianto. And it is harder without Jack, but we’re managing.”
“It’s been two weeks,” Willow said, “Ianto isn’t getting better-”
“He is,” Tosh cut in, “He’s making some improvement. Jack has him eating and he’s maintaining some eye contact.”
Willow sunk onto the couch behind Tosh’s workstation, sitting herself beside Tosh, head held down. “He isn’t Ianto.” She bit her lip, eyes watering as the stress of the last two weeks began to hit her. “I miss him. I miss the tricks we used to do with our magic. I miss watching him breeze around the library like it was nothing, because he memorized the entire set up in the first day. I miss listening to him nag Xander and Spike for messing up the library system he’d made.” She inhaled a shuddering breath, sobbing softly as Tosh laid a hand on her back, and turning shining eyes to the Japanese woman. “I miss him, Tosh.”
Tosh felt tears of her own gather and blur her vision as she pulled Willow against her chest. “I know,” she whispered, “I miss him, too. It’s not the same, not hearing him make a crack about something. It’s been so long since he’s been here. I got used to hearing his voice in person again. He just came back and…and we keep losing him.” Willow’s sobbing intensified and Tosh tightened her hold. “But he’ll…he’ll be okay. He has to be.”
Ianto had to be okay. He was always the most stable out of all of them, holding them together. He’d had his troubles with Lisa-Tosh still felt a shudder go down her spine at the reminder of Ianto lying still in the water-but even then, he was the one that held them together. She’d heard Owen grumble a thanks to Ianto the morning after their incident with the Ghost Machine, when he’d walked in looking a lot less hung over than she’d thought he would. Ianto had been the first one to speak to Jack after losing Jas to the fairies, back when they still couldn’t look at Jack without feeling pure rage and disgust, Ianto had brought him his coffee and cracked a joke they hadn’t heard. Owen had yelled at Ianto two days after their trip to the Brecons-she swallowed thickly, holding back the bile-when he’d found out that Ianto had dragged his beaten body to Gwen’s flat by foot, thanks to his concussion putting him in a very firm no-drive zone, just to bring her some of his secret stash of peppermint tea. Her eyes drifted to her workstation where she’d taped her and Ianto’s photo strip to the side of a monitor, her little prize sitting just underneath.
They’d never had a chance to go make another.
She held Willow closer, sobbing herself. Tears streamed down her cheeks, wetting Willow’s shirt as the redhead’s wet hers.
He still owed her a picture strip.
---
Willow’s gaze fell on Tosh as she exited the hothouse. Tosh was crying again, her shoulders shaking as she sat in front of her computer. The Hub was eerily silent and her soft sobs seemed amplified. This was killing Tosh. She and the others had gotten the basic explanation of what had happened during their failed trip to the countryside, but hearing the story and experiencing it were completely different things. Tosh had been there, had been in that basement before. She’d woken up there, scared and disoriented. Tosh had been the one that spent close to an hour trying to wake Ianto up. It had been Tosh that Ianto had basically sacrificed himself for, giving her the chance to run when he knew he wouldn’t be able to himself.
Tosh had lived through that.
She hadn’t.
She couldn’t even begin to imagine the anguish Tosh must be feeling with those memories suddenly back in her face. In all the buildings in that God forsaken village, that basement had been the one where Ianto woke up, where he’d been tortured.
She paused just before she reached the top of the stairs, smiling softly at Myfanwy as the pterodactyl’s head peeked out of her cave, eyes searching for Ianto. Her head retreated back into the darkness with a mournful crow when her search came up blank, her beloved caregiver nowhere to be seen. Myfanwy turned sad eyes to her, as if asking where Ianto was, saying that he was supposed to be here. She shook her head sadly in response to nonverbal question and listened as Myfanwy let out a throaty, pathetic chirp before she hid her head in her wings once again.
“I know,” she whispered, “We all miss him.”
She’s only known Ianto for a year, but his absence was like the crater Sunnydale had become. She’d liked him right off, liked his humor and how he loved knowledge just as much as she did. He hadn’t judged her, hadn’t had her dark stage in the back of his mind whenever she did a simple levitation spell. She knew he knew, she’d told him herself when she’d seen the magic just bursting from in him. She’d wanted him to know the truth about her and her past with magic.
And none of it had mattered to him.
He’d just taken her hand in his and squeezed, told her that they all had their dark moments. Her stomach had clenched at the way his eyes had darkened as he said it and she’d hugged him. He was too young and looked decades too innocent to have that kind of darkness in him.
She’d loved teaching him, loved how absorbed he got into the books and how he paid such close attention, so unlike when she’d taught the computer class in high school. He’d spent hours learning to levitate Dawn’s green sparkled pencil, nose scrunched in a way that made him look about five. She smiled, remembering how Ianto had laughed and looked up at her, eyes shining with accomplishment when he levitated that pencil right out of Dawn’s hand. She’d almost laughed herself to tears when Dawn went after him.
Her smile faded as that happy memory of Ianto’s laughing eyes was replaced with the image of how they looked now; dull and dead. Tosh was right, Ianto had made some improvement in the two weeks Jack had cared for him at Owen’s old apartment, but he hadn’t spoken, hadn’t made any obvious sign that he even knew they were there. He was eating, sure, but there was no way to really tell if Ianto was actually meeting their gazes or if they’d just met by chance when a movement would jostle Ianto’s still unsupported head.
She closed her eyes, pressing them shut as tight as she could to ward off the tears that wanted to escape as she remembered her visit. She’d gone with Tosh, stood shoulder to shoulder with the Japanese woman as they knocked on the door with trembling fists. Jack had had Ianto propped up on pillows on Owen’s bed, expensive foam pillows soft against him as he stared listlessly to the side. He’d just laid there, unfocused eyes staring at the eggshell walls. He hadn’t even blinked when they came in. They hadn’t stayed long, long enough to check in on Ianto and update him on the happenings in the Hub while they reassured Jack that nobody was dead before they’d hugged both men-ignoring Ianto’s lack of response-and left. Tosh had been sure that Ianto had looked at her, but as much as she wanted to believe he did, Willow just wasn’t sure. They hadn’t even realized they were holding hands until they got to Tosh’s car and nearly pulled their arms from their sockets, trying to get to their respective sides.
They hadn’t gone back since, whether by avoidance or happenstance, Willow couldn’t be sure. Owen and Spike were going daily, Owen to check in on Ianto’s physical health so he could make sure the already too thin Welshman didn’t lose any more weight. Spike would grumble about Owen dragging him everywhere, but none of them missed the blonde checking the paper each morning for the sundown time, nor did they miss how he’d look at the clock constantly when that time came close. Xander had finally gone with Owen and Spike the day before and came back, his crushed face making him look five years older. Gwen…Gwen went every couple days, but they knew she never once made it into the apartment-maybe not even the building-if the self-loathing look on her face was anything to go by.
“Willow?”
Willow jumped, startled at the voice beside her as she spun and found Tosh watching her with worried eyes. As her heart returned to a normal rhythm beneath her hand, she lowered the limb from her chest, smiling at the other woman. “Tosh. Hi.”
“Are you all right?”
“Yeah. Yeah, I’m fine,” she shrugged slightly, pushing her hair behind her ears, “Just thinking.”
“About Ianto?”
“About all of us,” Willow said, lowering herself to the ground, feet dangling over the edge of the path and her arms crossed over a low-set railing beam. She leaned forward, chin on her arms as she turned them, smiling gently at Tosh as she joined her.
Tosh copied Willow’s position, though she was instead looking over the Hub, eyes just barely able to catch Owen and Spike in the medical bay. She shook her head slowly, black hair swaying as they both heard what they’d come to easily recognize as Owen’s moan. Those two really needed to stop going at it during office hours.
“Good for them,” Tosh said, voice soft but happy.
Willow nodded. “Yeah.” Owen and Spike were lucky. They’d gotten their acts together and now…well, they weren’t ride-off-into-the-sunset happy, but they’d improved so much compared to how they had been a few weeks ago. Their bond was forming and developing better and though they could stay apart longer than before, they seemed to be keeping each other in sight.
Maybe it was the bitter part of her talking, but how was it that Sunnydale’s former Big Bad and the arrogant doctor Ianto always spoke about…how was it that they had a working…thing, and she was alone?
She glanced at Tosh who still stared at the Hub below her, hair spilling over one shoulder as she let her head fall to the side, her cheek against her folded arms. Her neck stretched out and her shoulder was exposed as her hair moved away from the otherwise bare skin left by her violet v-neck tank top. Her brown eyes were tired despite her smiles and giggles, dark shadows made by stress rather than eye shadow.
But she was still beautiful.
Willow closed her eyes, the sounds of the Hub falling away as she fell back in time to Tara’s final words to her as she’d laid an astral hand on her face.
“I love you, Wills. And I don’t want you to be alone forever.” She smiled, teary as she leaned forward and kissed Willow softly. “It’s okay. You won’t be alone anymore.”
It hadn’t made sense to her then, hadn’t made sense that Tara would be giving her her blessings. Had she known something? Did she…was this the last time they’d ever see each other? She still loved Tara; a part of her always would. She’s always remember the smiles, the laughs, how they’d just clicked, those awkward days after Tara kissed her over burning incense.
Just like Tosh.
Willow’s eyes blinked open, wide, as she stared at Tosh. She…no. After Tara, she’d told herself there was no falling in love again, that it hurt too much. Tosh was…Tosh was just an attraction. She was beautiful, Willow didn’t deny that. In fact, she was gorgeous. But that was it. She could appreciate another woman’s beauty without being in love. Love didn’t work for her. Xander and her…they were a disaster, Oz left, Tara died, and Kennedy and she went their separate ways after Sunnydale fell. Love didn’t work for her. And now it never would. Not now that she was immortal.
“What?”
Willow snapped from her thoughts, shutting her eyes as she shook her head quickly. “Huh?”
Tosh blushed gently as she glanced to the floor. “You were staring.”
Willow opened her mouth, words stuck in her throat. They both jumped slightly as the Rift alarm went off and they both scrambled to their feet, running down the stairs to Tosh’s workstation as Xander and Gwen emerged from the firing range and Spike and Owen came up from the medical bay, hair messed and clothes wrinkled. She stopped beside Tosh, watching the other woman’s fingers fly over the keyboard as she brought up what she could detect. Readings that were becoming increasingly familiar popped up on the screen and her eyes flew over them.
“Weevils,” Tosh said with a click of her tongue, smiling sympathetically as Owen groaned, “Four of them.”
“Where?” Spike asked, pulling Owen’s arm so he could look at the time. “Past sundown. I’m coming.”
Owen nodded, stopping as he listened to Willow read off the street Tosh had pulled up.
“Regular groups?” Gwen questioned, as she returned from the armory and handed everyone their gun. The Weevil spray was already in the SUV.
Xander shook his head. “Too many for the two-person groups. The stray Weevil would have an opening to attack any of us,” he said, easily falling into his soldier memories that were becoming more and more helpful as he learned to work with one eye less than his memories gave him. “It’d be better to go at them as a group. Focus on the leader and take that one out first. The others will scatter without orders and then we can split into our pairs.” He waited for the others to nod before nodding himself. “I’ll drive.”
“No way in hell,” Spike said immediately, “Not after last time.”
“Give me a break! It’s not my fault you guys drive on the wrong side of the road.”
Owen snorted. “Yeah, we’re on the wrong side.”
Xander huffed, tossing Owen the keys.
---
Gwen was screaming.
Xander was shaking.
Spike was swearing.
Willow was crying.
Tosh was gasping.
Owen was trying to stop the bleeding.
“Damn it, Tosh,” Owen cursed, covered in blood to his elbows, “You are not dying on us.”
The fifth Weevil had come out of nowhere, springing out from the shadows with a roar as the fourth went down, cuffed and sedated. Tosh had been closest, smiling one second and hitting the ground the next as the Weevil tackled her, nails already ripping into her stomach as she screamed. They’d stood frozen for a second, that was it, but one second was too long to delay in shooting it dead.
Blood. So much blood. They could all smell it, the scent harsh in their nostrils, making them cringe.
Tosh’s stomach was torn out and blood poured, staining every one of their shoes and the hems of their pants. They’d all burn them later, Owen first. His clothes were ruined, but he paid no heed to them. All his focus was on Tosh, trying to see past the blood and get at the wound. His eyes widened and his face went ashen as his hand emerged from the bloody pool, a fleshy tube in his grasp.
Intestines.
Gwen dived to the ground, vomiting as she cried, vomit dripping from her mouth and tip of her nose as Xander fell to his knees beside her, a hand on her back. No one was sure who Xander was supporting, Gwen or himself.
Spike punched a wall, arm shaking as he leaned against it.
“It,” Tosh gasped, so much paler than she should be as she used what strength she had to lay a hand over Owen’s, both trembling, “It’s okay.”
Owen shook his head, biting his lip as desperate tears dripped off his lashes. “Toshiko Sato, you are not dying. I am not letting you die.”
“You don’t,” another gasp, softer this time, “have a choice.”
Willow fell to her knees, shaking her head as she tried to help cover the wound. “No, no, no.” Her head whipped to Spike, face wet. “Spike, you can…can’t you…” she trailed off, swallowing back a sob and keeping her eyes focused on Spike’s jaw clenched face. She slammed a hand to the ground, fingertips ripping as they dug into the asphalt when Spike shook his head. “I can…I can give her her soul!”
Spike eyed her carefully, glancing at Gwen for a split second as the woman realized what Willow was asking for and turned horrified eyes from him, to Willow, and back. “You could curse her with a soul the second her heart stops beating, but she still won’t be same. She’d be a monster either way. That demon would always be inside her.” He caught Tosh’s dimming eyes, watching as she gave the smallest shake. “She doesn’t want it and she doesn’t deserve to have it forced on her."
Willow let out another sob, bending at her middle as she pressed her forehead to Tosh’s bloody shoulder.
Toshiko closed her eyes, tears falling down the sides of her face and into her hair as her chest heaved and her eyes opened again while she struggled to breathe, struggled to get air into her probably torn lungs. Her eyes clouded, brown eyes losing their shine as her chest stilled.
And Willow kissed her.
It wasn’t about falling in love, wasn’t about the awkwardness that they’d finally begun working through. It was that she needed it, needed to feel Tosh’s lips against hers one more time before death made them cold. She cried as she did it, reality hitting her that this time, Toshiko wasn’t reciprocating the kiss, wasn’t pressing her against a wall. This time Tosh’s kiss didn’t taste like cherries. It tasted like blood.
She felt her magic surge through her as she pulled back a centimeter, whispering against Tosh’s unresponsive lips, “Don’t die.”
Then Tosh was gasping.
She surged forward, into Willow and Owen’s arms, chest jumping as she filled her lungs to capacity.
Owen was gaping, pushing Tosh back as his fingers pressed along her torso. “How…it’s gone. Everything’s…inside. You’re…” He looked to Willow, looking completely stunned, almost unwilling to let himself smile the awed and disbelieving smile that wanted to come through in case it was all a lie.
Gwen sprung at Tosh, wrapping her in a hug so tight that it almost knocked that precious air from Tosh’s lungs.
“Gwen, what…”
“You’re okay,” Gwen sobbed against Tosh’s shoulder, kissing her bloody cheeks. She leaned into Xander as he joined in the hug, bringing Willow with him as Gwen tugged Toshiko with her. Owen joined a minute later, not hugging, but pressed his forehead against the back of her shoulder enough that Tosh could feel him shaking beneath. Spike didn’t join the hug and none of them expected him to, but Tosh looked up, surprised, when a cool hand fell to rest atop her head and saw Spike nod once.
Willow closed her eyes, breathing in and trying to find Tosh’s scent beneath the blood. She didn’t understand it. She’d felt her magic, but how could it have…
Her thoughts cut off abruptly as the weight of the others disappeared and Tosh’s slick fingers touched her cheek. She opened her eyes, meeting Tosh’s gaze immediately. They didn’t move, didn’t breathe, as Tosh leaned in and kissed her.
The kiss still tasted like blood, but this time, Tosh’s lips moved against hers as their bodies pressed together. The others watching them didn’t matter.
“You won’t be alone anymore.”
And suddenly Tara’s words made sense.
TBC
Story 3: Damaged Souls - Part 17 >>
Pairings: Willow/Tosh, Spike/Owen, past Willow/Tara, and mentioned past Xander/Willow, Oz/Willow and Willow/Kennedy. (This chapter)
Word Count: 3,490
Rating: PG-13 (This chapter)
Status: Incomplete
Note: This is the third and final fic of a series I've begun. This story begins shortly after Buffy's Chosen.
Summary: BTVS crossover - When Ianto returns to Cardiff, Jack and the Torchwood team must figure out how to react to the changes in him, as well as how to react to the new friends this unfamiliar Ianto brought with him.
Note: Okay, you guys. Sadly, this isn't a sign of regular posting coming back. After some work, demonchildekyra and I were able to salvage the edits I had mentioned. It took some digging through lots of MSN conversations, but we did find it and I was able to reinsert the edits into the chapter. As of right now, I'm officially out of chapters for all of you, but finals week ends on Friday and then I'm off of school for a month before I start my summer classes, so I'm going to see what I can pull out and hoopefully get something for you. You guys have been great since I lost my stuff and I just want to thank you.
Note 2: Also for a bit of self-pimping, if you can't tell from my icon, "Damaged Souls" has been nominated for a Children of Time award under the WIP category. Please vote!
Note 3: There is also a banner with the story now that was made by the lovely demonchildekyra. Thank you, hun! Her Torchwood/Twilight crossover has also been nominated under the WIP - Jack/Ianto category on Children of Time, so please take a moment to vote again.
I'm guessing you guys just want to get to the chapter now, huh?
Previous Stories:
Story One: Moving On
Story Two: While You Were Gone
This Story:
Previous Chapters:
Chapter 1 - Chapter 2 - Chapter 3 - Chapter 4 - Chapter 5 - Chapter 6 - Chapter 7 - Chapter 8 - Chapter 9 - Chapter 10 - Chapter 11 - Chapter 12 - Chapter 13 - Chapter 14 - Chapter 15
New Chapter:
“Ow!”
“Sorry.”
Tosh’s eyes turned down to Willow, her leg held out in front of her as the redhead bandaged the gash from the weevil hunt. Willow didn’t look up at her as she finished cleaning the wound and whispered something she didn’t catch. She felt the magic course through her as Willow healed her, felt the tingle of pure power rush up her leg and to her chest.
It wasn’t like any other feeling. It was the second time Willow had healed an injury for her and it felt as…as incredible as the first. She wondered just how Willow felt, holding all that magic within her. It was dizzying.
Her head felt a bit fuzzy as Willow rose to her feet and she shook her head, smiling softly as the two Willows merged into one. “Thanks.”
Willow’s hand strayed to her leg, fingers brushing where the gash had been. “It was my fault.”
“It was not,” Tosh argued, “We’re all struggling with this. All of us are learning new stuff. It’s not unbelievable that we’d have a bit of trouble adjusting. We all,” she closed her eyes, “We’re all worried about Ianto. And it is harder without Jack, but we’re managing.”
“It’s been two weeks,” Willow said, “Ianto isn’t getting better-”
“He is,” Tosh cut in, “He’s making some improvement. Jack has him eating and he’s maintaining some eye contact.”
Willow sunk onto the couch behind Tosh’s workstation, sitting herself beside Tosh, head held down. “He isn’t Ianto.” She bit her lip, eyes watering as the stress of the last two weeks began to hit her. “I miss him. I miss the tricks we used to do with our magic. I miss watching him breeze around the library like it was nothing, because he memorized the entire set up in the first day. I miss listening to him nag Xander and Spike for messing up the library system he’d made.” She inhaled a shuddering breath, sobbing softly as Tosh laid a hand on her back, and turning shining eyes to the Japanese woman. “I miss him, Tosh.”
Tosh felt tears of her own gather and blur her vision as she pulled Willow against her chest. “I know,” she whispered, “I miss him, too. It’s not the same, not hearing him make a crack about something. It’s been so long since he’s been here. I got used to hearing his voice in person again. He just came back and…and we keep losing him.” Willow’s sobbing intensified and Tosh tightened her hold. “But he’ll…he’ll be okay. He has to be.”
Ianto had to be okay. He was always the most stable out of all of them, holding them together. He’d had his troubles with Lisa-Tosh still felt a shudder go down her spine at the reminder of Ianto lying still in the water-but even then, he was the one that held them together. She’d heard Owen grumble a thanks to Ianto the morning after their incident with the Ghost Machine, when he’d walked in looking a lot less hung over than she’d thought he would. Ianto had been the first one to speak to Jack after losing Jas to the fairies, back when they still couldn’t look at Jack without feeling pure rage and disgust, Ianto had brought him his coffee and cracked a joke they hadn’t heard. Owen had yelled at Ianto two days after their trip to the Brecons-she swallowed thickly, holding back the bile-when he’d found out that Ianto had dragged his beaten body to Gwen’s flat by foot, thanks to his concussion putting him in a very firm no-drive zone, just to bring her some of his secret stash of peppermint tea. Her eyes drifted to her workstation where she’d taped her and Ianto’s photo strip to the side of a monitor, her little prize sitting just underneath.
They’d never had a chance to go make another.
She held Willow closer, sobbing herself. Tears streamed down her cheeks, wetting Willow’s shirt as the redhead’s wet hers.
He still owed her a picture strip.
---
Willow’s gaze fell on Tosh as she exited the hothouse. Tosh was crying again, her shoulders shaking as she sat in front of her computer. The Hub was eerily silent and her soft sobs seemed amplified. This was killing Tosh. She and the others had gotten the basic explanation of what had happened during their failed trip to the countryside, but hearing the story and experiencing it were completely different things. Tosh had been there, had been in that basement before. She’d woken up there, scared and disoriented. Tosh had been the one that spent close to an hour trying to wake Ianto up. It had been Tosh that Ianto had basically sacrificed himself for, giving her the chance to run when he knew he wouldn’t be able to himself.
Tosh had lived through that.
She hadn’t.
She couldn’t even begin to imagine the anguish Tosh must be feeling with those memories suddenly back in her face. In all the buildings in that God forsaken village, that basement had been the one where Ianto woke up, where he’d been tortured.
She paused just before she reached the top of the stairs, smiling softly at Myfanwy as the pterodactyl’s head peeked out of her cave, eyes searching for Ianto. Her head retreated back into the darkness with a mournful crow when her search came up blank, her beloved caregiver nowhere to be seen. Myfanwy turned sad eyes to her, as if asking where Ianto was, saying that he was supposed to be here. She shook her head sadly in response to nonverbal question and listened as Myfanwy let out a throaty, pathetic chirp before she hid her head in her wings once again.
“I know,” she whispered, “We all miss him.”
She’s only known Ianto for a year, but his absence was like the crater Sunnydale had become. She’d liked him right off, liked his humor and how he loved knowledge just as much as she did. He hadn’t judged her, hadn’t had her dark stage in the back of his mind whenever she did a simple levitation spell. She knew he knew, she’d told him herself when she’d seen the magic just bursting from in him. She’d wanted him to know the truth about her and her past with magic.
And none of it had mattered to him.
He’d just taken her hand in his and squeezed, told her that they all had their dark moments. Her stomach had clenched at the way his eyes had darkened as he said it and she’d hugged him. He was too young and looked decades too innocent to have that kind of darkness in him.
She’d loved teaching him, loved how absorbed he got into the books and how he paid such close attention, so unlike when she’d taught the computer class in high school. He’d spent hours learning to levitate Dawn’s green sparkled pencil, nose scrunched in a way that made him look about five. She smiled, remembering how Ianto had laughed and looked up at her, eyes shining with accomplishment when he levitated that pencil right out of Dawn’s hand. She’d almost laughed herself to tears when Dawn went after him.
Her smile faded as that happy memory of Ianto’s laughing eyes was replaced with the image of how they looked now; dull and dead. Tosh was right, Ianto had made some improvement in the two weeks Jack had cared for him at Owen’s old apartment, but he hadn’t spoken, hadn’t made any obvious sign that he even knew they were there. He was eating, sure, but there was no way to really tell if Ianto was actually meeting their gazes or if they’d just met by chance when a movement would jostle Ianto’s still unsupported head.
She closed her eyes, pressing them shut as tight as she could to ward off the tears that wanted to escape as she remembered her visit. She’d gone with Tosh, stood shoulder to shoulder with the Japanese woman as they knocked on the door with trembling fists. Jack had had Ianto propped up on pillows on Owen’s bed, expensive foam pillows soft against him as he stared listlessly to the side. He’d just laid there, unfocused eyes staring at the eggshell walls. He hadn’t even blinked when they came in. They hadn’t stayed long, long enough to check in on Ianto and update him on the happenings in the Hub while they reassured Jack that nobody was dead before they’d hugged both men-ignoring Ianto’s lack of response-and left. Tosh had been sure that Ianto had looked at her, but as much as she wanted to believe he did, Willow just wasn’t sure. They hadn’t even realized they were holding hands until they got to Tosh’s car and nearly pulled their arms from their sockets, trying to get to their respective sides.
They hadn’t gone back since, whether by avoidance or happenstance, Willow couldn’t be sure. Owen and Spike were going daily, Owen to check in on Ianto’s physical health so he could make sure the already too thin Welshman didn’t lose any more weight. Spike would grumble about Owen dragging him everywhere, but none of them missed the blonde checking the paper each morning for the sundown time, nor did they miss how he’d look at the clock constantly when that time came close. Xander had finally gone with Owen and Spike the day before and came back, his crushed face making him look five years older. Gwen…Gwen went every couple days, but they knew she never once made it into the apartment-maybe not even the building-if the self-loathing look on her face was anything to go by.
“Willow?”
Willow jumped, startled at the voice beside her as she spun and found Tosh watching her with worried eyes. As her heart returned to a normal rhythm beneath her hand, she lowered the limb from her chest, smiling at the other woman. “Tosh. Hi.”
“Are you all right?”
“Yeah. Yeah, I’m fine,” she shrugged slightly, pushing her hair behind her ears, “Just thinking.”
“About Ianto?”
“About all of us,” Willow said, lowering herself to the ground, feet dangling over the edge of the path and her arms crossed over a low-set railing beam. She leaned forward, chin on her arms as she turned them, smiling gently at Tosh as she joined her.
Tosh copied Willow’s position, though she was instead looking over the Hub, eyes just barely able to catch Owen and Spike in the medical bay. She shook her head slowly, black hair swaying as they both heard what they’d come to easily recognize as Owen’s moan. Those two really needed to stop going at it during office hours.
“Good for them,” Tosh said, voice soft but happy.
Willow nodded. “Yeah.” Owen and Spike were lucky. They’d gotten their acts together and now…well, they weren’t ride-off-into-the-sunset happy, but they’d improved so much compared to how they had been a few weeks ago. Their bond was forming and developing better and though they could stay apart longer than before, they seemed to be keeping each other in sight.
Maybe it was the bitter part of her talking, but how was it that Sunnydale’s former Big Bad and the arrogant doctor Ianto always spoke about…how was it that they had a working…thing, and she was alone?
She glanced at Tosh who still stared at the Hub below her, hair spilling over one shoulder as she let her head fall to the side, her cheek against her folded arms. Her neck stretched out and her shoulder was exposed as her hair moved away from the otherwise bare skin left by her violet v-neck tank top. Her brown eyes were tired despite her smiles and giggles, dark shadows made by stress rather than eye shadow.
But she was still beautiful.
Willow closed her eyes, the sounds of the Hub falling away as she fell back in time to Tara’s final words to her as she’d laid an astral hand on her face.
“I love you, Wills. And I don’t want you to be alone forever.” She smiled, teary as she leaned forward and kissed Willow softly. “It’s okay. You won’t be alone anymore.”
It hadn’t made sense to her then, hadn’t made sense that Tara would be giving her her blessings. Had she known something? Did she…was this the last time they’d ever see each other? She still loved Tara; a part of her always would. She’s always remember the smiles, the laughs, how they’d just clicked, those awkward days after Tara kissed her over burning incense.
Just like Tosh.
Willow’s eyes blinked open, wide, as she stared at Tosh. She…no. After Tara, she’d told herself there was no falling in love again, that it hurt too much. Tosh was…Tosh was just an attraction. She was beautiful, Willow didn’t deny that. In fact, she was gorgeous. But that was it. She could appreciate another woman’s beauty without being in love. Love didn’t work for her. Xander and her…they were a disaster, Oz left, Tara died, and Kennedy and she went their separate ways after Sunnydale fell. Love didn’t work for her. And now it never would. Not now that she was immortal.
“What?”
Willow snapped from her thoughts, shutting her eyes as she shook her head quickly. “Huh?”
Tosh blushed gently as she glanced to the floor. “You were staring.”
Willow opened her mouth, words stuck in her throat. They both jumped slightly as the Rift alarm went off and they both scrambled to their feet, running down the stairs to Tosh’s workstation as Xander and Gwen emerged from the firing range and Spike and Owen came up from the medical bay, hair messed and clothes wrinkled. She stopped beside Tosh, watching the other woman’s fingers fly over the keyboard as she brought up what she could detect. Readings that were becoming increasingly familiar popped up on the screen and her eyes flew over them.
“Weevils,” Tosh said with a click of her tongue, smiling sympathetically as Owen groaned, “Four of them.”
“Where?” Spike asked, pulling Owen’s arm so he could look at the time. “Past sundown. I’m coming.”
Owen nodded, stopping as he listened to Willow read off the street Tosh had pulled up.
“Regular groups?” Gwen questioned, as she returned from the armory and handed everyone their gun. The Weevil spray was already in the SUV.
Xander shook his head. “Too many for the two-person groups. The stray Weevil would have an opening to attack any of us,” he said, easily falling into his soldier memories that were becoming more and more helpful as he learned to work with one eye less than his memories gave him. “It’d be better to go at them as a group. Focus on the leader and take that one out first. The others will scatter without orders and then we can split into our pairs.” He waited for the others to nod before nodding himself. “I’ll drive.”
“No way in hell,” Spike said immediately, “Not after last time.”
“Give me a break! It’s not my fault you guys drive on the wrong side of the road.”
Owen snorted. “Yeah, we’re on the wrong side.”
Xander huffed, tossing Owen the keys.
---
Gwen was screaming.
Xander was shaking.
Spike was swearing.
Willow was crying.
Tosh was gasping.
Owen was trying to stop the bleeding.
“Damn it, Tosh,” Owen cursed, covered in blood to his elbows, “You are not dying on us.”
The fifth Weevil had come out of nowhere, springing out from the shadows with a roar as the fourth went down, cuffed and sedated. Tosh had been closest, smiling one second and hitting the ground the next as the Weevil tackled her, nails already ripping into her stomach as she screamed. They’d stood frozen for a second, that was it, but one second was too long to delay in shooting it dead.
Blood. So much blood. They could all smell it, the scent harsh in their nostrils, making them cringe.
Tosh’s stomach was torn out and blood poured, staining every one of their shoes and the hems of their pants. They’d all burn them later, Owen first. His clothes were ruined, but he paid no heed to them. All his focus was on Tosh, trying to see past the blood and get at the wound. His eyes widened and his face went ashen as his hand emerged from the bloody pool, a fleshy tube in his grasp.
Intestines.
Gwen dived to the ground, vomiting as she cried, vomit dripping from her mouth and tip of her nose as Xander fell to his knees beside her, a hand on her back. No one was sure who Xander was supporting, Gwen or himself.
Spike punched a wall, arm shaking as he leaned against it.
“It,” Tosh gasped, so much paler than she should be as she used what strength she had to lay a hand over Owen’s, both trembling, “It’s okay.”
Owen shook his head, biting his lip as desperate tears dripped off his lashes. “Toshiko Sato, you are not dying. I am not letting you die.”
“You don’t,” another gasp, softer this time, “have a choice.”
Willow fell to her knees, shaking her head as she tried to help cover the wound. “No, no, no.” Her head whipped to Spike, face wet. “Spike, you can…can’t you…” she trailed off, swallowing back a sob and keeping her eyes focused on Spike’s jaw clenched face. She slammed a hand to the ground, fingertips ripping as they dug into the asphalt when Spike shook his head. “I can…I can give her her soul!”
Spike eyed her carefully, glancing at Gwen for a split second as the woman realized what Willow was asking for and turned horrified eyes from him, to Willow, and back. “You could curse her with a soul the second her heart stops beating, but she still won’t be same. She’d be a monster either way. That demon would always be inside her.” He caught Tosh’s dimming eyes, watching as she gave the smallest shake. “She doesn’t want it and she doesn’t deserve to have it forced on her."
Willow let out another sob, bending at her middle as she pressed her forehead to Tosh’s bloody shoulder.
Toshiko closed her eyes, tears falling down the sides of her face and into her hair as her chest heaved and her eyes opened again while she struggled to breathe, struggled to get air into her probably torn lungs. Her eyes clouded, brown eyes losing their shine as her chest stilled.
And Willow kissed her.
It wasn’t about falling in love, wasn’t about the awkwardness that they’d finally begun working through. It was that she needed it, needed to feel Tosh’s lips against hers one more time before death made them cold. She cried as she did it, reality hitting her that this time, Toshiko wasn’t reciprocating the kiss, wasn’t pressing her against a wall. This time Tosh’s kiss didn’t taste like cherries. It tasted like blood.
She felt her magic surge through her as she pulled back a centimeter, whispering against Tosh’s unresponsive lips, “Don’t die.”
Then Tosh was gasping.
She surged forward, into Willow and Owen’s arms, chest jumping as she filled her lungs to capacity.
Owen was gaping, pushing Tosh back as his fingers pressed along her torso. “How…it’s gone. Everything’s…inside. You’re…” He looked to Willow, looking completely stunned, almost unwilling to let himself smile the awed and disbelieving smile that wanted to come through in case it was all a lie.
Gwen sprung at Tosh, wrapping her in a hug so tight that it almost knocked that precious air from Tosh’s lungs.
“Gwen, what…”
“You’re okay,” Gwen sobbed against Tosh’s shoulder, kissing her bloody cheeks. She leaned into Xander as he joined in the hug, bringing Willow with him as Gwen tugged Toshiko with her. Owen joined a minute later, not hugging, but pressed his forehead against the back of her shoulder enough that Tosh could feel him shaking beneath. Spike didn’t join the hug and none of them expected him to, but Tosh looked up, surprised, when a cool hand fell to rest atop her head and saw Spike nod once.
Willow closed her eyes, breathing in and trying to find Tosh’s scent beneath the blood. She didn’t understand it. She’d felt her magic, but how could it have…
Her thoughts cut off abruptly as the weight of the others disappeared and Tosh’s slick fingers touched her cheek. She opened her eyes, meeting Tosh’s gaze immediately. They didn’t move, didn’t breathe, as Tosh leaned in and kissed her.
The kiss still tasted like blood, but this time, Tosh’s lips moved against hers as their bodies pressed together. The others watching them didn’t matter.
“You won’t be alone anymore.”
And suddenly Tara’s words made sense.
TBC
Story 3: Damaged Souls - Part 17 >>