Days off with nothing to do really suck. I can't seem to be able to exist outside of my own head when I don't have something to occupy my time.

Since Heather left for NY time has taken on such an odd consistency for me that I've felt the need to actively decompress it. Also, please keep in mind that I only choose that date because it was the last significant "event" that has taken place from which to judge. Some things seem like forever ago, others as if they took place yesterday, and ( Read more... )

I am covered in mosquito bites. I can't be 100% sure that I didn't count a few twice, but in the shower today I counted 61. I had 22 on my right arm alone. For those of you familiar with my feelings on being itchy, you probably already know that I'm in hell. Yeah, this sucks.

Another trip to the ER today. I fucking hate my life. Work is probably ready to kill me, and I can't really blame them. This is absurd. Before it was just annoying, but now that my breathing is being affected I'm starting to worry. Half the time I feel like I should just let it happen. I wake up in the morning and dread just having to be awake, ( Read more... )

But boys will be boys
and girls have those eyes
that'll cut you to ribbons
sometimes.

And all you can do
is just wait by the moon
and bleed if it's what she says
you oughta do.

If the scale at my house is correct, I now weigh 178 lbs. That would mean that since the 1st of the year I have lost 18 lbs. This is good news. It makes sense, though. At this point I feel physically better than I have in years. Sadly, it seems that the idea that exercise makes you feel better mentally as well doesn't apply to all people. That ( Read more... )

Today I realized why a part of me still resents Julie despite having no feelings for her whatsoever anymore. It's because she somehow made me go completely against myself and fall in love with her only to change into a completely different person once people started giving her the superficial attention that was apparently all she ever really craved ( Read more... )

Still feeling as shitty as ever, but I think I've almost made peace with it. I'm finally coming to accept that I wasn't built with the option for serenity. I am not the kind to win.

Moving is again on hold, but this time it's for a good enough reason that I'm not annoyed.

I highly recommend everyone see this movie.

I'm not sure the best way to put this that won't come across like I've got an ulterior motive, but I may as well just go ahead and say it. At this point in my life this is hands down the worst I have ever felt on a day-to-day basis. Sure, I still have fun and enjoy various things, but other than those fleeting instances I feel mostly miserable. I' ( Read more... )

My chemical cocktail required to get me to sleep tonight:

800mg ibuprofen
2100 mg acetaminophen
60 mg codeine phosphate

Hatred. Pure hatred.