The Only Correct Thanksgiving Meal
As some of you may remember last year our resident Americans threw an amazing Thanksgiving for all of us here (see here). And this year promises to be even better. Our resident Americans are running everything including the kitchen and they were kind enough to ask everyone's opinion on what they should include in the Thanksgiving meal and of course it was a huge mistake. Because everyone started suggesting all kinds of ridiculous crap and the Americans were desperate to stay polite and inclusive and whatever and it just all was a giant mess. Until one of the American girls had enough and went full on "US Foreign Policy" mode on everyone:
And I applauded her. You see, democracy is not always the optimal choice. When you decided to do something awesome and you know what you are doing, don't ask clueless people around you for their input, it will ruin everything. Just do that awesome thing you decided to do and everyone will end up happier.
Luckily, I don't need to be asked to share my wisdom with the world, I just do it. So listen up Americans, there is only one way to have a correct Thanksgiving meal (all other ways are incorrect) and here it is:
- Turkey
- Stuffing
- Gravy
- Cranberry sauce
- Mashed potatoes
- Sweet potatoes
- Green beans
- Bred rolls
- Pumpkin pie
- Whipped cream
- Beer, wine and whisky (scotch, bourbon or rye)
I'll allow:
- Juicy ham
- Roasted potatoes
- Sweet potato casserole
- Butter beans
- Corn casserole
- Brussel sprouts WITH BACON
- Devilled eggs
- Mac and cheese
- Chocolate bourbon and pecan pie
I won't allow:
- Any kind of salad or salad-themed nonsense (you should be ashamed of yourselves just for thinking about it)
- Seafood
- Brussel sprouts WITHOUT BACON
- Apple pie
Thought's people?
Note that If you are going to disagree with me you'll just demonstrate your absolute Thanksgiving incompetence and publicly embarrass yourselves. I had Thanksgiving dinner in the US four times (and many more times outside of the US) so I know what I am talking about.
And I applauded her. You see, democracy is not always the optimal choice. When you decided to do something awesome and you know what you are doing, don't ask clueless people around you for their input, it will ruin everything. Just do that awesome thing you decided to do and everyone will end up happier.
Luckily, I don't need to be asked to share my wisdom with the world, I just do it. So listen up Americans, there is only one way to have a correct Thanksgiving meal (all other ways are incorrect) and here it is:
- Turkey
- Stuffing
- Gravy
- Cranberry sauce
- Mashed potatoes
- Sweet potatoes
- Green beans
- Bred rolls
- Pumpkin pie
- Whipped cream
- Beer, wine and whisky (scotch, bourbon or rye)
I'll allow:
- Juicy ham
- Roasted potatoes
- Sweet potato casserole
- Butter beans
- Corn casserole
- Brussel sprouts WITH BACON
- Devilled eggs
- Mac and cheese
- Chocolate bourbon and pecan pie
I won't allow:
- Any kind of salad or salad-themed nonsense (you should be ashamed of yourselves just for thinking about it)
- Seafood
- Brussel sprouts WITHOUT BACON
- Apple pie
Thought's people?
Note that If you are going to disagree with me you'll just demonstrate your absolute Thanksgiving incompetence and publicly embarrass yourselves. I had Thanksgiving dinner in the US four times (and many more times outside of the US) so I know what I am talking about.