A distant drive through memories (Torchwood Jack/Ianto)
Jack looked out the window of the Suv. The snow was falling heavily down as Ianto drove along the lonely country road. He knew that he had been his idea but he didn’t except the snow to get this heavy. He looked back at Ianto who was having trouble concentrating but seemed to be doing ok. After Jack had shown him the photos of James and his family, Jack wanted to go out on a drive to clear his head because of two events he was trying to remember, that happened before James’s funeral. Ianto volunteered to drive so Jack wouldn’t have to be alone.
“Now I remember....” Jack suddenly said, startling Ianto.
“What sir?” Ianto asked, with his eyes still on the road.
“Well after I received the news of James’ death, Eliza invited me around for a cup of tea.” Jack told him, getting closer to the heater.
“And did it go well?”
“Quite well at first until she asked me about.... now I’ve forgotten.”
“Sir just start from the beginning and it might come back.” Ianto told him, before turning a corner towards an old motel.
Jack nodded and looked back out the window. Suddenly he started to remember.
James Worthington had died in the middle of January 1920 as he had gotten worse over during the very chilly December. It was the middle of winter and Jack had received the news from one of James’ old university mates. He remembered going straight to one of the pubs near the bay and drinking himself blind, until one of his team mates found him the next day lying face down on the pier.
Two days later James’ wife, Eliza invited him over to their house for a chat over a cup of tea. He remembered being nervous because he knew that Eliza would probably question him about his relationship with James. Thoughts of James had filled his head while he picked up flowers for her, as a way of giving his condolences. They had been a lovely bunch of white roses which symbolised the peace that James now had from his illness.
“Thank you for coming.” Eliza told him, as she opened the door to him.
“Of course, Mrs Worthington,” Jack replied before holding out the roses. “These are for you, I’m sorry for your loss.”
Eliza looked at the flowers and smiled, “Those are lovely Jack.” She said as she took them off him. “Very kind of you.”
“You’re welcome, Mrs Worthington.” Jack told her, before walking through towards the lounge room. He remembered seeing a little boy, about five years old, lying on the couch. He remembered the way his brown hair was untidy, reminding him how he would always try to tidy James’ hair but to no prevail. The little boy opened his eyes when he heard Jack’s footsteps.
“Uncle Jack?” He asked before sitting up and rubbing his eyes. Jack had met him before in early 1919 when he had decided the visit the local Cardiff fair after coming back early from the war. He had bumped into Eliza who had informed him of James’ illness. He had known from letters but never knew how worst he had gotten.
“Hello there sport! How are you?” Jack asked sitting down next to him and putting an arm around his shoulder. “Are you being good for your mother?”
The little boy nodded and put his arms around Jack’s waist. “Daddy’s not coming back is he?” He asked looking up at Jack with those soft blue eyes that sent a shiver through his spine.
“What makes you say that?”
“Well mummy said that Daddy has gone away for a while, but it’s been two days.” Young Jack explained, tears now in his eyes.
“Oh don’t worry; you’ll see him again someday.” Jack assured him patting him on the head. “Now go off and play alright before your mother catches you.”
The little boy wiped away his tears before getting off the couch and running up the stairs. Jack watched him and could help but form tears in his own. Young Jack certainly looked like a younger version of his father.
Eliza arrived with a tray with cups and the teapot. She also had a plate of biscuits and cakes which Jack refused as he didn’t feel like eating.
“Young Jack is certainly beginning to look like his father.” Jack observed with a smile.
Eliza looked up from pouring the tea. “Yes he does, I’m not sure how I’ll cope when he grows older.”
“I’m sure, you’ll be fine. He probably will end up like his father.” Jack assured her, taking up his cup of tea. “How are you?”
“I’m having my ups and downs. Trying to remain calm around Jack.” Eliza explained while she drank her tea. “But I’ve convinced myself that he is at peace now.”
Jack nodded. “Yes, it must have been hard during his illness. I’m shocked that the doctors couldn’t work out what he had.”
“Yes I was shocked as well but James tried to assure me that they had tried their best.” Eliza said, very calmly. “Though he did go through his ups and downs, so sometimes it was great to see him playing with his son.”
“Of course, I suppose James was a wonderful father then?” Jack asked with a smile.
“Yes, James loved him, like any father would.” Eliza replied looking at her tea cup. “The funeral’s Friday if you wanted to know.”
Jack nodded as he wanted to know so he could ask Gerald for a day off. Gerald had been good to him so far after he had returned from the war. He didn’t want to miss James’ funeral because of the love that he felt for him.
“Jack, may I ask you something?” Eliza asked with her eyes now on him.
“Of course.” He replied as he couldn’t deny her.
“Were you and James lovers before he met me?”
Jack put on his tea cup and composed himself in the chair. He had been waiting for her to ask that question but wasn’t sure how to tell her. Society of course frowned upon two men being in a romantic relationship. Eliza though seemed like she didn’t care what society thought.
“Yes we were, though we departed because he fell in love with you.” Jack replied looking her straight in the eye. “To be honest I thought because you were Catholic....”
“James explained his other interests to me when we were married. I didn’t care as I’m not really a religious woman but I pretend to be for my parents.” Eliza explained, now looking him straight in the eye. “I know that he still loved someone when we were married, and I suspected that it was you”
“I’m sorry if it....”
“He was faithful to me Jack and that’s what mattered.” Eliza told him, roughly and to the point. “Though I must ask, did you and James on new years eve, six years ago?”
Jack nodded sadly. “I’m very sorry if.....”
“Don’t be, I left him to be with my friends. I told him that I wanted him to be with you.” Eliza explained. “I finally told him that I knew he loved you, more than he should.”
Jack nodded and got up from the couch. “I should leave you; Jack really needs you right now.”
Eliza stood up and surprised him by pulling him to a hug. “Thanks for being such a good friend to James, shame you couldn’t visit him during those rough times.”
Jack remembered not replying but just pulling back from the embrace and leaving her in peace. He knew that the war had kept him away but he had fought bravely for his country.
“Did she really mean that?” Ianto asked as they entered the motel. “That she didn’t mind James was interested in men.”
“Of course she did, she’d never lied to people, always honest.” Jack replied as Ianto checked in at the desk. “All that mattered was that James was faithful to her.”
Ianto nodded and after getting their key, they walked up to their room. It was just a basic room with a bed and a bar fridge but to Ianto it was a prefect way to spend time with Jack. Jack walked over to the bed and sat down at the end. Ianto grabbed a couple of beers from the fridge and sat down next to Jack. Jack slipped an arm around Ianto and pulled him close.
“You know, you’ve been good through this.” Jack told him. “Maybe I should reward you.” He added raising an eyebrow suggestively.
“Sir, James was apart of your life and I respect that.” Ianto explained with a smile. “Not until you told me the other event that happened.” He added.
“Well that’s the thing, I really can’t remember.” Jack said with disappointment in his voice.
Ianto placed his lips onto Jack’s and shoved his tongue into his mouth when Jack responded. For the next few minutes were like eternal bliss before Jack pulled back.
“No offence but that kiss has reminded me.” Jack explained when he saw Ianto’s puzzled look.
“No offence to me sir.”
Jack smiled and started to tell his story.
On the night before the funeral, Jack decided to visit the dance hall that he went to on New Year’s Eve, six years ago, in 1913. On Thursdays it was just open for the public for drinks and just general fun. Jack stood on the balcony with a scotch in his hand and started to weep. How he wanted to turn back time and relive his relationship with James but he knew that it could never be achieved. Ok it could but he didn’t want to risk it.
“Cheer up mate; I’ve only been gone five days.” A familiar Aussie accent said and he turned around to see James standing there behind him. He looked at the untidy brown hair; soft blue eyes and that lovely smile his possessed. He walked up to him and instantly punched James in the arm.
“Ow, what was that for?” James asked, rubbing his arm.
“You’re a ghost then?” Jack asked with a smile. “But one of those physical ones that an old friend told me about.”
James nodded. “I can be touched and kissed but I can’t ‘dance’.” He explained with a grin. “Still you are the only one who can see me.”
Jack nodded. When he had been with the Doctor and Rose, the Doctor had told him that there were some ghosts in the world that could come back in physical form for some reason or another. They were always seen by psychologist as hallucinations.
“I don’t feel like ‘dancing’ anyway.” Jack said before pulling James into an embrace and a deep kiss that sent him faraway. James pulled back a few minutes later.
“I better be going but you have to be that way.” James said pointing to the bay. “Will you watch over my son for me?”
“I’ll try my best.” Jack told him before turning around. He felt James’ arm on his shoulder making him close his eyes.
“I know that you couldn’t visit me because of the war and I just want to let you know that I never held a grudge.” James assured him. “Please promise me that you’ll meet someone.”
“James I....” Jack said turning around but he was already gone.
Ianto held Jack close to him while he cried on his shoulder. He knew that the memories were too painful for him but Jack had done his best. Ianto felt the same pain that he did because of Lisa and he knew that Jack had moved on and found people over the rest of the century.
“James was always in my heart, even when I did move on.” Jack said through his tears.
“Of course sir, I don’t blame you. Lisa is always in mine as well. I can’t ever forget her and either should you forget James.” Ianto told him.
Jack looked up and kissed Ianto on the cheek. “Thanks for listening.”
“My pleasure sir.” Ianto replied with a smile. “Maybe tomorrow, we could visit his grave.....”
Jack smiled. Ianto really was a truly amazing person.
Just like James.