Comments | topgeargirl2: Flist I need to know if this story is ok?

topgeargirl2

Sep 27, 2009 21:43

( Snippet )

Comments 11

x_starfuckers September 27 2009, 14:34:11 UTC

I think it sounds ace! I'm not really a massive Jack fan, but this is cool. Keep going :)

topgeargirl2 September 28 2009, 01:14:35 UTC

Thanks

aeron_lanart September 27 2009, 16:17:46 UTC

Nowt wrong with first person, but you have to make sure you stay with it and not drift.

I rather like what you have so far so keep going!

topgeargirl2 September 28 2009, 01:12:54 UTC

Thanks, I don't think I have a habit of drifting.

I will keep going

amand_r September 27 2009, 16:24:47 UTC

THIS DESERVES EXPLORATION. The first person is good. Thous I think the use of "ok" is a little jarring for the time period. God for it, though!

topgeargirl2 September 28 2009, 01:11:51 UTC

Thanks so much

yeah I'll have to remember not to use Ok.

amand_r September 28 2009, 01:13:11 UTC

It's hard. I use OK all the time, but I always make a note to weed it out when I do historical stories. :D

topgeargirl2 September 28 2009, 01:15:56 UTC

Yeah,

I was once told off for using it in a sherlock Holmes fanfic, ok is colonial apparently

Thread 5

drabblewriter September 27 2009, 18:44:34 UTC

I think it sounds like a good idea, and I'll read more if you post it. I have to agree with amand_r that the "ok" sounds a little out of place

topgeargirl2 September 28 2009, 01:09:30 UTC

Thanks