Fic: Lookin' to Get Hurt (SPN, NC-17)

[toolazytowork]

Title: Lookin' to get hurt
Characters/Pairing: Dean/Lisa, Dean/Others (Male and Female), Dean/Sam overall
Rating: NC-17
Word Count: ~3800
Warnings: verbal and physical abuse, domination, submission, violence, language, hints of daddy issues
Spoilers: Post 5-22
Summary: He wants to do the right thing, but there's nothing right about him. He misses pain.

Comments

[thankyoukindly]

I really liked this fic - I thought the characterization of Dean was spot on and I had no trouble imagining him doing what he did here. Sad and raw and very believable. Very glad I had you on my flist so I saw the post!

[toolazytowork]

Thank you! I'm glad I got the feeling right. It's a little darker than what I usually write. And by a little I mean, it is way darker.

[toolazytowork]

Sam either had to show up or I'd have been writing death fic and I refuse to kill Dean.

Thanks. Glad you liked it!

[medea34]

this was just awesome. great characterization, self destructive dean with kink (I loved the 'this is not about dad, it's about Sam' bit) and gut wrenching violence). perfect.

[toolazytowork]

Thank you very much. I'm so glad that it worked, it's outside my comfort zone, writing wise. I usually don't write stuff that's quite this dark.

[stella_down]

I love this. dean is so resigned and matter of fact about what he's doing, even though it's screwing him up, and you get that across so, so well. I feel like most people's fic is trying to hit that wavelength when they write S5 dean and it never clicks with me, but this feels real.

A laugh that made Dean dig his fingers along the top of the wood grain table.

also I really dug this detail for some reason.

[toolazytowork]

Late return reply--I'm glad you liked it and thought it sounded true. It was weird to write. I tend to prefer a little humor mixed in with the abject misery.

All my nights in creepy, cheap motels really come in handy in Supernatral fandom, I've noticed.

[salty_catfish]

I'm surprised there's not more feedback here, because I enjoyed this a lot. Especially the Lisa parts, which were very hurty. It's eerily close to my personal headcanon. (Adrenaline/Endorphine junkie Dean is a bit of a kink, but nevermind.) Of course SPN doesn't really do this degree of fucked-up but Dean's resignation rings right to me.

“So, I'm dead?”

Did you write this before 6x01 aired? That line was really heartbreaking.

[toolazytowork]

This review made my morning! Thank you! Yeah, I wrote it pre-6x01. I love adrenaline junkie, doesn't care if he lives or dies, Dean, too. He's my fave. Strange that it turned out Sam's lost year was closer to what I wrote than Dean's.

Anyway--thanks again for reading and reviewing!