suju prison au, chapter 1 of many. yeah, i said it. prison au.
This story began as a drabble at the request of this_is_cd for some Super Junior prison AU. It was meant to be just a drabble but somehow it was too much fun to write to just quit writing. Soon it became this enormous monster of a Work in Progress that is graituitous pairings galore and absolutely ballistically ridiculous in every single way.
Let me put it this way; it could be the worst, most OOC AU you'll ever read, or the best one. I guess it just depends on whether you buy into the premise or not.
jailbird songs, chapter 1
fandom: super junior au
rating: pg-13 for now, r/nc-17 later
pairings: ShiHan, KiHae, KangTeuk, YehWook, HyukSu (HyukMin, KyuMin, ShiChul if you squint).
word count: 2,679 for this chapter
warnings: Cursing, sex. Well, eventually. For now they just discuss it.
disclaimer: If it's not clear this never happened, never will, pure imagination etc then I worry for your mental health. And sadly the boys are not my intellectual property, either.
notes; It's graituitous "everybody's paired off", it's crude and peculiar (I mean, SuJu in prison - c'mon, it's bound to be ridiculous) and the fluffiest prison you'll ever read about. I watched all of Oz, but y'know, I just can't imagine SuJu members offing each other - I'm not attempting realism here. Hope you enjoy.
"Listen up," Warden Choi Siwon voiced calmly as cellblock S1J3 continued to make noise. What a bunch of monkeys, he thought and gave Cellblock Officer Han Geng an annoyed look. Han Geng cleared his throat and beat his baton against the cell bars a couple of times.
"If you don't shut the fuck up while the Warden speaks, I will personally transfer all of your asses into a Chinese prison with a special note that you all molested a picture of Mao."
For a moment the entire cellblock was deadly quiet, until a prisoner from the cell way at the end of the hallway pipes up, "Can you repeat that in Korean, Officer Han Geng?"
Everybody laughed and even Han Geng himself smirked. The cellblock was a lot less noisy now, though, and after a nod from Han Geng, Warden Choi continued his speech.
"We have a newbie coming in. Seeing as how you're all such well-behaved boys, I trust he will have no trouble fitting in. He's coming in this afternoon, goes by the name of Cho Kyuhyun and will be placed in Lee Sungmin's cell. Lee Hyukjae on the other hand will move to the cell of Lee Donghae and Kim Heechul."
A metallic basin went flying against the bars of one cell and a calming "Shh.." followed. Warden Choi ignored this.
"I'm sure you'll all make him feel most welcome." He paused. "Hopefully not too welcome, though. If I hear anything of that sort happening, you'll have me to deal with."
"Is that a promise?" Kim Heechul shouted flirtily over the multiple cat calls from other cells.
"That will be all for today," Warden Choi finished, unfaltering. He gave Officer Han a smile. "Keep the puppies in order."
"Will do," Officer Han said, smiling back. "How's the new shrink settling in?" he asked the Warden as he saw him back to the office wing.
"Kim Kibum-sshi is settling in just fine," Warden Choi answered. "Of course, he's not yet met any of the infamous S1J3 unit. Today is Lee Donghae's session, is it not?"
"If he can unscrew Lee Donghae, he's really good," Officer Han said.
"I did warn him that it's easier dealing with a serial killer than anybody of the S1J3."
Han Geng laughed. "Insane people are no trouble compared to the people who make you insane."
"You've stayed relatively sane yourself," Warden Choi commented.
"You keep me sane." Han Geng looked at him in the eye and Choi Siwon raised his hand nearly close enough to touch Han Geng's face when he heard a voice behind him.
"Warden."
Warden Choi turned. "Oh, hello Doctor."
"I'm not sure about this patient Lee Donghae," Dr Kim began, worry creasing his features. "I looked at his file. He believes in aliens?"
Officer Han snorted. "I'll leave you two alone now. Have to get back to my puppies."
"I'll see you at lunch," Warden Choi said and stared at Han Geng's back until he turned a corner. He then turned to Kim Kibum. "Dr Kim, you'll be fine. Members of S1J3 are harmless, that's why we placed them together. None of them have ever hurt a fly, or each other."
"Then why are they in prison?" Dr Kim asked, a confused look on his face.
"Because the society's safer that way," Warden Choi said.
**
Hyukjae could feel the hand moving in calming circles against his back and shoulders, but he still didn't feel any better.
“This blows.”
“I know,” Sungmin said sadly.
“You get placed with some newbie and I have to go live with a bunch of queens.” He let out a heavy sigh.
“Heechul is the only queen, Donghae's more a weirdo,” Sungmin corrected him. “But yeah, this blows.”
“Donghae's a pervert, too,” Hyukjae commented. He opened and closed his fists, resisting the urge to hit something or somebody.
“I'm sure you'll be fine, you've lived with worse.”
“Name one,” Hyukjae challenged tiredly.
“That time we had plumb damage and you lived with Kangin and Eeteuk and I lived with Shindong for a week.”
Hyukjae groaned. “They were so gross, you have no idea. Did Shindong smell?”
Sungmin shook his head. “No, he was quite fine.”
“Why can't I join his cell, then? Three in one cell is going to be so crowded.”
“Because they're joining his cell with that of Yesung and Ryeowook to make them stop sleeping in the same bunk.”
“Those two are so gross, too.” Hyukjae looked around their cell sadly. “Guess I have to get my shit together.”
Sungmin pouted. “We'll still see each other, hyung. You'll be next across the hallway.”
Hyukjae smiled sardonically. “It's a prison, Min. It's not like I'm getting away from here anytime soon.”
**
Among other stupid rules, like not leaving the building or having otherwise limited freedom, Hyukjae thought the absolute stupidest one was that whoever you roomed with, you also had to eat with. He often had managed to slip into the table of unit TVX5Q where they had placed his partner-in-crime (though not literally as they had repeatedly insisted in courtroom, with little results) Kim Junsu but eventually one of the guards had spotted him and made him return to the S1J3 unit's table next to Sungmin. The rule was about keeping order, while Hyukjae thought it was fascist. He had brought up this with Officer Han Geng, who had just sneered and told him, “Welcome to prison, sir.”
Today Hyukjae had not even moved his things to Heechul and Donghae's cell, when the hacks made him sit between the two during dinner. First he blocked out the inane ramblings of his new cellmates and his eyes searched for Sungmin and the new guy somewhere at their table. When he did not see them, he felt an elbow hit the back of his head.
“What the f--,” he began, turning around, rubbing his neck when he saw Junsu's grin.
“You ditched Sungmin for these guys?” Junsu asked.
“I was forced.”
“How fascist.”
“You're a fascist.”
“At least I'm more dangerous a criminal than you.”
“I heard the serial killer block call S1J3 scary.”
“Then why are there nine of you? There's only five of us.”
“There are only five wussies in this prison, my dear friend. What are they to do?”
“Kick your ass, that's what,” Junsu said, grinning mischievously.
“Kim Junsu, keep walking,” they suddenly heard a voice behind Junsu say. Hacks always interrupted their banter, afraid a fight would break out. Hyukjae waved Junsu bye and sighed. Like he would lay a finger on Junsu.
“...then the bitch is like, 'Calm down' - in English - and I'm like, 'Yo man keepin' it real' and she just stares at me. If she doesn't know any Korean, what the fuck's she doing working in a Korean prison hospital?” Heechul is explaining and Hyukjae listens with half an ear.
“Dr Eva is nicer, she knows Korean a bit better. Japanese, too,” Hyukjae comments and Heechul and Donghae stared at him for a while.
“You know Dr Eva? Sweet,” Donghae says, smirking. “Did you get to fuck her, too?”
“She gave me a goddamn bandaid once,” Hyukjae said, voice dripping with irritation.
“I'm going to tell the Warden that Russian ho molested me during the examination,” Heechul continued. “Do you think he'll believe me?” He put on his best innocent and abused face, which Donghae laughed at, as it didn't look very innocent or abused.
“You should give up on Warden Choi already,” he then said. “I don't think he's into dick.”
“Then why does he work at a prison?” Heechul asked.
“Moral duties or some shit. Hyuk, are you gonna eat that?” Donghae asked, pointing at something on Hyukjae's food tray.
“Help yourself,” Hyukjae sighed, his eyes searching for Sungmin again.
His eyes found him. Sungmin and the new guy, sitting at the end of the table, deep in conversation. Hyukjae's stomach lurched. Had he lost a friend even before moving cells? Idly, he still heard Donghae and Heechul's conversation in the background.
“Gym today, Fishy?”
“I have a shrink's appointment, sorry.”
“Oh, Snow White.”
“Why's he Snow White?”
“Because he lives with the seven dwarves. I don't fucking know, he just reminds me of Snow White. The hair.”
“Does he whistle while he works?” Donghae smirked.
“I guess you'll see today,” Heechul chuckled.
“I'm fucking leaving,” Hyukjae said suddenly, standing up with his half-finished tray of food. “See you at the cell.”
Donghae and Heechul stared after him for a moment and then continued to discuss the princess-y merits of the new prison psychologist.
“I'll bring him an apple,” Donghae said in closing.
**
Kyuhyun looked to his left, facing Sungmin's friendly smile, and to his right, Ryeowook being fed by his cell mate Yesung and Shindong staring at them, a disgusted expression on his face. People were talking, too loudly for his taste, but this was prison and he kept reminding himself things could be worse. So much worse.
“How did you end up here, Kyuhyun?” a friendly face who sat across him, a sunbae named Eeteuk (but this was prison and nobody talked to each other with honorifics, this was prison and things like seniority didn't really seem to matter that much).
“I was framed,” Kyuhyun said and loud laughter erupted all around him.
“What a coincidence, so was I!” Shin Donghee exclaimed happily.
Sungmin kept smiling. “What happened, hyung?”
Kyuhyun looked down at his food tray as he spoke. “I was going to a family holiday to Indonesia, somebody I talked to on the airport placed drugs in my luggage and I got busted.”
“What an ...unbelievable story. No wonder the courts didn't buy it,” the person next to Eeteuk commented. Kyuhyun struggled to remember his name. Kang ...in?
“Yeah, it would be more believable if you had returned from Indonesia with placed drugs in your luggage,” Yesung commented.
“But it's not a story, it's what happened” Kyuhyun insisted and turned to look at Sungmin. Sungmin smiled sadly, patting Kyuhyun reassuringly on the shoulder.
“I stole a game,” Shindong said.
“That doesn't sound like a big crime,” Kyuhyun commented.
“It was my third Dance Dance Revolution,” Shindong replied. “You know, the big ones you find in game halls at malls.” He looked sad. “It was the one with the best song selection, too.”
“I was framed,” Sungmin said. “But since we're not in the court of law, I scammed some very nice noonas who still write me letters to prison.”
“I drove drunk,” Kangin said, giving Eeteuk a dirty look. “Because oldie here has gone through his 50 years of life without learning to drive.”
Eeteuk pouted. “I told you not to drive that time.”
“How was I to know the cops would catch me that night? It was only my 35th time driving drunk,” Kangin defended himself.
“He nearly ran over one of the cops, so they thought he was aiming to kill a policeman and he got a sentence. So imagine my luck, I drive home from the police station--” Eeteuk continued the story, but Kangin interrupted him.
“He ran over a dog of the dictator of North Korea.”
Kyuhyun's eyes widened. “Kim Jong-il has a dog?”
“Yeah, who would've thought, pregnant with the puppies of China's prime minister's dog. So basically his driving nearly sparked an international military conflict and because I wasn't there to tell him when to stop, the two Koreas will probably never unite again.” Kangin finished the story and slipped his arm around Eeteuk's waist. “But it's okay. At least we're together.”
Kyuhyun sighed. “That's the most ridiculous thing I've ever heard.”
“It's okay, nobody believes it anyway,” Eeteuk said and poked at his food. “They think we made it up. We've been here longer than most of them so nobody can confirm it. Even the Warden was hired after we started our sentence here.”
“At some point we're thinking of changing our story into something more believable,” Kangin said thoughtfully. “Like maybe we conned money from people by asking them donations for Teukie's sex change since inside him there's a 12 year old girl.”
“Fuck you,” Eeteuk interjected.
“...or maybe we were members of a highly successful pop group...”
“Like you can sing,” Yesung said scornfully.
“Look at this guy, he wins one prison karaoke contest and suddenly he's the most amazing voice in the history of Earth,” Kangin remarked sarcastically.
Kyuhyun felt a finger poke his side. “I'm finished,” Sungmin said with a smile. “Want to head back?”
“Sure,” Kyuhyun said and stood up.
So far so good. No shower rapes, beatings or death threats thus far. Then again, considering the crimes of the people in his cell block, he somehow doubted any would occur, anyway. Unless there was a side to S1J3 he had not yet witnessed at all...
**
Donghae was excited. Literally, he thought, as he awkwardly placed one of the couch decorative pillows on his lap. Snow White was delicious. Though in his head, he preferred to call Dr Kim Kibum something else entirely. He was used to Heechul's nick names, he was used to being Fishy, but Snow White and Dr Kim Kibum only met half-way. Dr Kim? Just Doctor? Just Kibum? Donghae's thoughts wandered, the Doctor's neck beneath his own mouth, his tongue tracing a line to the Doctor's ear, a throaty whisper, “Want to fuck me, Dr Kim?”
Dr Kim corrected his glasses. “Lee Donghae?”
Donghae snapped back to reality. “Yes?”
“You haven't answered my question.”
“What was the question, Dr Kim?”
Fancy a blowjob, Donghae? “How are you adjusting to life in prison?”
Yes please, Dr Kim. “Oh, you know, just fine. I get by.”
“It says here you occasionally get panic attacks and consider your cell mate an alien.”
“It's just a joke we have.” Donghae smiled.
“It says here you tried to choke him once.”
“Yeah, but that was different, he wanted to try breathplay.”
Dr Kim looked a bit disturbed. “Are you two ...lovers?”
Donghae sat up, smiling widely. “No, no, I'm totally available.”
Dr Kim browsed his papers once again, clearing his throat. “But you have had same sex relationships in prison, have you not?”
“Well, some. Not many girls around, and I've tried, but you know, Dr Eva just won't return my calls.”
“It says here that--” Dr Kim began but Donghae interrupted him.
“Have you had any same sex relationships, Doctor?”
Dr Kim looked visibly shaken. “We're not here to discuss me, Lee Donghae.”
“I wish we were, though,” Donghae said, grinning. He let his eyes wander over Dr Kim's form, so serious and calm in a neat suit and tie, horn-rimmed glasses that didn't quite suit him, mouth that would look so good open, breathing roughly, eyes hazed, naked, manicured hands leaving scratch marks on Donghae's back as they--
“But we're not. Do you think patients haven't tried to show interest in me to avoid discussing their own issues before? It's the oldest trick in the book.” He sighed, taking off his glasses to clean them. Yum, was the only thing that passed through Donghae's mind. “I know it's not easy, changing shrinks in the middle of your sentence but I am hired permanently so I will be here for a long time to help you through this recovery process. The first thing we really need to discuss are the aliens. It says here they come in night time so you're afraid to sleep sometimes.”
Donghae settled back against the sofa. “We can talk about the aliens if you promise you'll tell me about yourself later.” He was disappointed. Stupid aliens. Stupid Warden Choi for telling Dr Kim that Donghae was crazy.
Crazy in love, maybe, he thought idly as Dr Kim revealed his teeth in a friendly smile for the first time, nodding his head politely.
Progress for his mental health wasn't really a first priority for Donghae, but progress with Dr Kim was something else.
---
Author's Notes; Kihae became my biggest motivation for writing and attempting to finish this fic as I just find it so fucking hot in here. If I say so myself.
Feedback appreciated, even if it's "OMFG you're nuts and I hate you for writing these boys in fic like this!". Though before you say it - I'm sorry, and I know.
--> second chapter
Let me put it this way; it could be the worst, most OOC AU you'll ever read, or the best one. I guess it just depends on whether you buy into the premise or not.
jailbird songs, chapter 1
fandom: super junior au
rating: pg-13 for now, r/nc-17 later
pairings: ShiHan, KiHae, KangTeuk, YehWook, HyukSu (HyukMin, KyuMin, ShiChul if you squint).
word count: 2,679 for this chapter
warnings: Cursing, sex. Well, eventually. For now they just discuss it.
disclaimer: If it's not clear this never happened, never will, pure imagination etc then I worry for your mental health. And sadly the boys are not my intellectual property, either.
notes; It's graituitous "everybody's paired off", it's crude and peculiar (I mean, SuJu in prison - c'mon, it's bound to be ridiculous) and the fluffiest prison you'll ever read about. I watched all of Oz, but y'know, I just can't imagine SuJu members offing each other - I'm not attempting realism here. Hope you enjoy.
"Listen up," Warden Choi Siwon voiced calmly as cellblock S1J3 continued to make noise. What a bunch of monkeys, he thought and gave Cellblock Officer Han Geng an annoyed look. Han Geng cleared his throat and beat his baton against the cell bars a couple of times.
"If you don't shut the fuck up while the Warden speaks, I will personally transfer all of your asses into a Chinese prison with a special note that you all molested a picture of Mao."
For a moment the entire cellblock was deadly quiet, until a prisoner from the cell way at the end of the hallway pipes up, "Can you repeat that in Korean, Officer Han Geng?"
Everybody laughed and even Han Geng himself smirked. The cellblock was a lot less noisy now, though, and after a nod from Han Geng, Warden Choi continued his speech.
"We have a newbie coming in. Seeing as how you're all such well-behaved boys, I trust he will have no trouble fitting in. He's coming in this afternoon, goes by the name of Cho Kyuhyun and will be placed in Lee Sungmin's cell. Lee Hyukjae on the other hand will move to the cell of Lee Donghae and Kim Heechul."
A metallic basin went flying against the bars of one cell and a calming "Shh.." followed. Warden Choi ignored this.
"I'm sure you'll all make him feel most welcome." He paused. "Hopefully not too welcome, though. If I hear anything of that sort happening, you'll have me to deal with."
"Is that a promise?" Kim Heechul shouted flirtily over the multiple cat calls from other cells.
"That will be all for today," Warden Choi finished, unfaltering. He gave Officer Han a smile. "Keep the puppies in order."
"Will do," Officer Han said, smiling back. "How's the new shrink settling in?" he asked the Warden as he saw him back to the office wing.
"Kim Kibum-sshi is settling in just fine," Warden Choi answered. "Of course, he's not yet met any of the infamous S1J3 unit. Today is Lee Donghae's session, is it not?"
"If he can unscrew Lee Donghae, he's really good," Officer Han said.
"I did warn him that it's easier dealing with a serial killer than anybody of the S1J3."
Han Geng laughed. "Insane people are no trouble compared to the people who make you insane."
"You've stayed relatively sane yourself," Warden Choi commented.
"You keep me sane." Han Geng looked at him in the eye and Choi Siwon raised his hand nearly close enough to touch Han Geng's face when he heard a voice behind him.
"Warden."
Warden Choi turned. "Oh, hello Doctor."
"I'm not sure about this patient Lee Donghae," Dr Kim began, worry creasing his features. "I looked at his file. He believes in aliens?"
Officer Han snorted. "I'll leave you two alone now. Have to get back to my puppies."
"I'll see you at lunch," Warden Choi said and stared at Han Geng's back until he turned a corner. He then turned to Kim Kibum. "Dr Kim, you'll be fine. Members of S1J3 are harmless, that's why we placed them together. None of them have ever hurt a fly, or each other."
"Then why are they in prison?" Dr Kim asked, a confused look on his face.
"Because the society's safer that way," Warden Choi said.
**
Hyukjae could feel the hand moving in calming circles against his back and shoulders, but he still didn't feel any better.
“This blows.”
“I know,” Sungmin said sadly.
“You get placed with some newbie and I have to go live with a bunch of queens.” He let out a heavy sigh.
“Heechul is the only queen, Donghae's more a weirdo,” Sungmin corrected him. “But yeah, this blows.”
“Donghae's a pervert, too,” Hyukjae commented. He opened and closed his fists, resisting the urge to hit something or somebody.
“I'm sure you'll be fine, you've lived with worse.”
“Name one,” Hyukjae challenged tiredly.
“That time we had plumb damage and you lived with Kangin and Eeteuk and I lived with Shindong for a week.”
Hyukjae groaned. “They were so gross, you have no idea. Did Shindong smell?”
Sungmin shook his head. “No, he was quite fine.”
“Why can't I join his cell, then? Three in one cell is going to be so crowded.”
“Because they're joining his cell with that of Yesung and Ryeowook to make them stop sleeping in the same bunk.”
“Those two are so gross, too.” Hyukjae looked around their cell sadly. “Guess I have to get my shit together.”
Sungmin pouted. “We'll still see each other, hyung. You'll be next across the hallway.”
Hyukjae smiled sardonically. “It's a prison, Min. It's not like I'm getting away from here anytime soon.”
**
Among other stupid rules, like not leaving the building or having otherwise limited freedom, Hyukjae thought the absolute stupidest one was that whoever you roomed with, you also had to eat with. He often had managed to slip into the table of unit TVX5Q where they had placed his partner-in-crime (though not literally as they had repeatedly insisted in courtroom, with little results) Kim Junsu but eventually one of the guards had spotted him and made him return to the S1J3 unit's table next to Sungmin. The rule was about keeping order, while Hyukjae thought it was fascist. He had brought up this with Officer Han Geng, who had just sneered and told him, “Welcome to prison, sir.”
Today Hyukjae had not even moved his things to Heechul and Donghae's cell, when the hacks made him sit between the two during dinner. First he blocked out the inane ramblings of his new cellmates and his eyes searched for Sungmin and the new guy somewhere at their table. When he did not see them, he felt an elbow hit the back of his head.
“What the f--,” he began, turning around, rubbing his neck when he saw Junsu's grin.
“You ditched Sungmin for these guys?” Junsu asked.
“I was forced.”
“How fascist.”
“You're a fascist.”
“At least I'm more dangerous a criminal than you.”
“I heard the serial killer block call S1J3 scary.”
“Then why are there nine of you? There's only five of us.”
“There are only five wussies in this prison, my dear friend. What are they to do?”
“Kick your ass, that's what,” Junsu said, grinning mischievously.
“Kim Junsu, keep walking,” they suddenly heard a voice behind Junsu say. Hacks always interrupted their banter, afraid a fight would break out. Hyukjae waved Junsu bye and sighed. Like he would lay a finger on Junsu.
“...then the bitch is like, 'Calm down' - in English - and I'm like, 'Yo man keepin' it real' and she just stares at me. If she doesn't know any Korean, what the fuck's she doing working in a Korean prison hospital?” Heechul is explaining and Hyukjae listens with half an ear.
“Dr Eva is nicer, she knows Korean a bit better. Japanese, too,” Hyukjae comments and Heechul and Donghae stared at him for a while.
“You know Dr Eva? Sweet,” Donghae says, smirking. “Did you get to fuck her, too?”
“She gave me a goddamn bandaid once,” Hyukjae said, voice dripping with irritation.
“I'm going to tell the Warden that Russian ho molested me during the examination,” Heechul continued. “Do you think he'll believe me?” He put on his best innocent and abused face, which Donghae laughed at, as it didn't look very innocent or abused.
“You should give up on Warden Choi already,” he then said. “I don't think he's into dick.”
“Then why does he work at a prison?” Heechul asked.
“Moral duties or some shit. Hyuk, are you gonna eat that?” Donghae asked, pointing at something on Hyukjae's food tray.
“Help yourself,” Hyukjae sighed, his eyes searching for Sungmin again.
His eyes found him. Sungmin and the new guy, sitting at the end of the table, deep in conversation. Hyukjae's stomach lurched. Had he lost a friend even before moving cells? Idly, he still heard Donghae and Heechul's conversation in the background.
“Gym today, Fishy?”
“I have a shrink's appointment, sorry.”
“Oh, Snow White.”
“Why's he Snow White?”
“Because he lives with the seven dwarves. I don't fucking know, he just reminds me of Snow White. The hair.”
“Does he whistle while he works?” Donghae smirked.
“I guess you'll see today,” Heechul chuckled.
“I'm fucking leaving,” Hyukjae said suddenly, standing up with his half-finished tray of food. “See you at the cell.”
Donghae and Heechul stared after him for a moment and then continued to discuss the princess-y merits of the new prison psychologist.
“I'll bring him an apple,” Donghae said in closing.
**
Kyuhyun looked to his left, facing Sungmin's friendly smile, and to his right, Ryeowook being fed by his cell mate Yesung and Shindong staring at them, a disgusted expression on his face. People were talking, too loudly for his taste, but this was prison and he kept reminding himself things could be worse. So much worse.
“How did you end up here, Kyuhyun?” a friendly face who sat across him, a sunbae named Eeteuk (but this was prison and nobody talked to each other with honorifics, this was prison and things like seniority didn't really seem to matter that much).
“I was framed,” Kyuhyun said and loud laughter erupted all around him.
“What a coincidence, so was I!” Shin Donghee exclaimed happily.
Sungmin kept smiling. “What happened, hyung?”
Kyuhyun looked down at his food tray as he spoke. “I was going to a family holiday to Indonesia, somebody I talked to on the airport placed drugs in my luggage and I got busted.”
“What an ...unbelievable story. No wonder the courts didn't buy it,” the person next to Eeteuk commented. Kyuhyun struggled to remember his name. Kang ...in?
“Yeah, it would be more believable if you had returned from Indonesia with placed drugs in your luggage,” Yesung commented.
“But it's not a story, it's what happened” Kyuhyun insisted and turned to look at Sungmin. Sungmin smiled sadly, patting Kyuhyun reassuringly on the shoulder.
“I stole a game,” Shindong said.
“That doesn't sound like a big crime,” Kyuhyun commented.
“It was my third Dance Dance Revolution,” Shindong replied. “You know, the big ones you find in game halls at malls.” He looked sad. “It was the one with the best song selection, too.”
“I was framed,” Sungmin said. “But since we're not in the court of law, I scammed some very nice noonas who still write me letters to prison.”
“I drove drunk,” Kangin said, giving Eeteuk a dirty look. “Because oldie here has gone through his 50 years of life without learning to drive.”
Eeteuk pouted. “I told you not to drive that time.”
“How was I to know the cops would catch me that night? It was only my 35th time driving drunk,” Kangin defended himself.
“He nearly ran over one of the cops, so they thought he was aiming to kill a policeman and he got a sentence. So imagine my luck, I drive home from the police station--” Eeteuk continued the story, but Kangin interrupted him.
“He ran over a dog of the dictator of North Korea.”
Kyuhyun's eyes widened. “Kim Jong-il has a dog?”
“Yeah, who would've thought, pregnant with the puppies of China's prime minister's dog. So basically his driving nearly sparked an international military conflict and because I wasn't there to tell him when to stop, the two Koreas will probably never unite again.” Kangin finished the story and slipped his arm around Eeteuk's waist. “But it's okay. At least we're together.”
Kyuhyun sighed. “That's the most ridiculous thing I've ever heard.”
“It's okay, nobody believes it anyway,” Eeteuk said and poked at his food. “They think we made it up. We've been here longer than most of them so nobody can confirm it. Even the Warden was hired after we started our sentence here.”
“At some point we're thinking of changing our story into something more believable,” Kangin said thoughtfully. “Like maybe we conned money from people by asking them donations for Teukie's sex change since inside him there's a 12 year old girl.”
“Fuck you,” Eeteuk interjected.
“...or maybe we were members of a highly successful pop group...”
“Like you can sing,” Yesung said scornfully.
“Look at this guy, he wins one prison karaoke contest and suddenly he's the most amazing voice in the history of Earth,” Kangin remarked sarcastically.
Kyuhyun felt a finger poke his side. “I'm finished,” Sungmin said with a smile. “Want to head back?”
“Sure,” Kyuhyun said and stood up.
So far so good. No shower rapes, beatings or death threats thus far. Then again, considering the crimes of the people in his cell block, he somehow doubted any would occur, anyway. Unless there was a side to S1J3 he had not yet witnessed at all...
**
Donghae was excited. Literally, he thought, as he awkwardly placed one of the couch decorative pillows on his lap. Snow White was delicious. Though in his head, he preferred to call Dr Kim Kibum something else entirely. He was used to Heechul's nick names, he was used to being Fishy, but Snow White and Dr Kim Kibum only met half-way. Dr Kim? Just Doctor? Just Kibum? Donghae's thoughts wandered, the Doctor's neck beneath his own mouth, his tongue tracing a line to the Doctor's ear, a throaty whisper, “Want to fuck me, Dr Kim?”
Dr Kim corrected his glasses. “Lee Donghae?”
Donghae snapped back to reality. “Yes?”
“You haven't answered my question.”
“What was the question, Dr Kim?”
Fancy a blowjob, Donghae? “How are you adjusting to life in prison?”
Yes please, Dr Kim. “Oh, you know, just fine. I get by.”
“It says here you occasionally get panic attacks and consider your cell mate an alien.”
“It's just a joke we have.” Donghae smiled.
“It says here you tried to choke him once.”
“Yeah, but that was different, he wanted to try breathplay.”
Dr Kim looked a bit disturbed. “Are you two ...lovers?”
Donghae sat up, smiling widely. “No, no, I'm totally available.”
Dr Kim browsed his papers once again, clearing his throat. “But you have had same sex relationships in prison, have you not?”
“Well, some. Not many girls around, and I've tried, but you know, Dr Eva just won't return my calls.”
“It says here that--” Dr Kim began but Donghae interrupted him.
“Have you had any same sex relationships, Doctor?”
Dr Kim looked visibly shaken. “We're not here to discuss me, Lee Donghae.”
“I wish we were, though,” Donghae said, grinning. He let his eyes wander over Dr Kim's form, so serious and calm in a neat suit and tie, horn-rimmed glasses that didn't quite suit him, mouth that would look so good open, breathing roughly, eyes hazed, naked, manicured hands leaving scratch marks on Donghae's back as they--
“But we're not. Do you think patients haven't tried to show interest in me to avoid discussing their own issues before? It's the oldest trick in the book.” He sighed, taking off his glasses to clean them. Yum, was the only thing that passed through Donghae's mind. “I know it's not easy, changing shrinks in the middle of your sentence but I am hired permanently so I will be here for a long time to help you through this recovery process. The first thing we really need to discuss are the aliens. It says here they come in night time so you're afraid to sleep sometimes.”
Donghae settled back against the sofa. “We can talk about the aliens if you promise you'll tell me about yourself later.” He was disappointed. Stupid aliens. Stupid Warden Choi for telling Dr Kim that Donghae was crazy.
Crazy in love, maybe, he thought idly as Dr Kim revealed his teeth in a friendly smile for the first time, nodding his head politely.
Progress for his mental health wasn't really a first priority for Donghae, but progress with Dr Kim was something else.
---
Author's Notes; Kihae became my biggest motivation for writing and attempting to finish this fic as I just find it so fucking hot in here. If I say so myself.
Feedback appreciated, even if it's "OMFG you're nuts and I hate you for writing these boys in fic like this!". Though before you say it - I'm sorry, and I know.
--> second chapter