Kinderselbstmordlieder
Our children, especially those youngest and most vulnerable,
should be prevented from killing themselves by all the means
we can bring to bear in our homes and neighborhoods.
Investigators should be sent from house to house
to ferret out the first tell-tale signs
of infantile depression. Cuts, scrapes, abrasions;
a history of thumb-sucking; obstinacy, disobedience,
tears, tantrums, bed-wetting, or sudden loss of appetite.
See that there are no guns, knives, or poisons within easy reach.
And most importantly, parents, talk to your kids.
Point out that failure, even repeated failure,
in tests of math or language skills, or in athletic contests,
is not the end of the world. Discuss your own experiences
with fractions, decimals, the geography of Indiana.
Maybe they're good at school but embarrassed by their teeth.
Do they get enough exercise every day? Perhaps
they've been been watching the wrong shows on TV.
Or maybe it's you. Maybe your kids are ashamed
of your shabby clothes, or the car you drive,
or what seems to them your weird accent.
Maybe they'd like to live on a ranch in Wyoming,
where there isn't any long division. Bear in mind
that once you were a child yourself. As a last resort
there are many excellent boarding schools in Switzerland.
Send them there.
--Tom Disch
should be prevented from killing themselves by all the means
we can bring to bear in our homes and neighborhoods.
Investigators should be sent from house to house
to ferret out the first tell-tale signs
of infantile depression. Cuts, scrapes, abrasions;
a history of thumb-sucking; obstinacy, disobedience,
tears, tantrums, bed-wetting, or sudden loss of appetite.
See that there are no guns, knives, or poisons within easy reach.
And most importantly, parents, talk to your kids.
Point out that failure, even repeated failure,
in tests of math or language skills, or in athletic contests,
is not the end of the world. Discuss your own experiences
with fractions, decimals, the geography of Indiana.
Maybe they're good at school but embarrassed by their teeth.
Do they get enough exercise every day? Perhaps
they've been been watching the wrong shows on TV.
Or maybe it's you. Maybe your kids are ashamed
of your shabby clothes, or the car you drive,
or what seems to them your weird accent.
Maybe they'd like to live on a ranch in Wyoming,
where there isn't any long division. Bear in mind
that once you were a child yourself. As a last resort
there are many excellent boarding schools in Switzerland.
Send them there.
--Tom Disch