Another Urban Myth
When a flake of dandruff falls
to the floor, or when we scratch ourselves
and let the residues pepper the carpet,
there are little insects down there
that live on that stuff--so small
it takes a microscope
to see the nasty buggers, but there are
billions of them in every human habitation,
all waiting avidly for the day's largesse
of our inadvertent droppings, earwax,
eyelashes and the gums adhering to eyelashes,
fingernails and the funk dug out of belly buttons,
and if they weren't there helping out,
soon our houses would be no better than litter boxes,
brimming with our shriveled skin
and dried secretions, a terrible embarrassment
any time a visitor dropped by and slipped
on the fouled carpet in the foyer.
So we owe our thanks and respect
to those insects busy night and day
on our behalf. They are the true
guardian angels! Bless them. Now
how about some more of those potato chips?
--Tom Disch
to the floor, or when we scratch ourselves
and let the residues pepper the carpet,
there are little insects down there
that live on that stuff--so small
it takes a microscope
to see the nasty buggers, but there are
billions of them in every human habitation,
all waiting avidly for the day's largesse
of our inadvertent droppings, earwax,
eyelashes and the gums adhering to eyelashes,
fingernails and the funk dug out of belly buttons,
and if they weren't there helping out,
soon our houses would be no better than litter boxes,
brimming with our shriveled skin
and dried secretions, a terrible embarrassment
any time a visitor dropped by and slipped
on the fouled carpet in the foyer.
So we owe our thanks and respect
to those insects busy night and day
on our behalf. They are the true
guardian angels! Bless them. Now
how about some more of those potato chips?
--Tom Disch