Musings on the word 'dumped'

[tomsalt]

I keep seeing the word 'dumped' show up recently and it's starting to get to me. Yes, it's true that I initiated the separation. But it's also true that the other party has said (more than once) that she doesn't want to get back together and agrees with my decision. To me that means that we both reached the same conclusion, I simply got there first

Comments

[caprine]

I think I need to not see you socially for a while, actually, as after the recent visit I found myself pretty depressed.

And agreeing with you is less humiliating and despair-inducing than trying to fight your decision; that's a major reason I chose that option. I might have reached the decision in another six months or a year; when you made the decision, I hadn't. But I could not imagine anything to be gained from protesting it, and my dignity was preserved by agreeing with it.

What would you feel more comfortable with? I was "horizontally downsized" perhaps? "Affectionally rightsized"? My "intimacy options were streamlined"? My "position was made redundant"? You were "adjusting your girlfriend factor to current market conditions"? I was "made a candidate for relationship redeployment"?

[tomsalt]

If you're honestly still having trouble with it, dumped is fine. I was under the impression that you were ok with it and as such was getting very mixed signals. I had one or two replacement phrases floating around in my head, but under the circumstances I don't think they'll be necessary.

[ebenbrooks]

I never got the impression that she blamed you at all, actually. That she was depressed, sad, sometimes angry in a non-directional sort of way, but not blaming you. Even with the word "dumped" being used so frequently.

By the bye, even if she doesn't want to see you socially for a while, there are others of us who do. Give us a call some time, we'll hang out and cook.

[caprine]

I never got the impression that she blamed you at all, actually. That she was depressed, sad, sometimes angry in a non-directional sort of way, but not blaming you. Even with the word "dumped" being used so frequently.

That's accurate.