Comments | tomboy_fic: One Would Have Been Enough

tomboy_typist in tomboy_fic

One Would Have Been Enough

Jul 31, 2009 23:19

Who :Tyrion Lannister, Cersei Lannister
Fandom : A Song of Ice and Fire
Word Count : 512
Rating : PG-16 for language.

Dedicated to sakru909 , with love.

( In which Cersei gains a sigil )

who:tyrion lannister, who:cersei lannister, fandom:a song of ice and fire, dedication:anne

Comments 6

sakru909 August 1 2009, 03:34:29 UTC

This is perfect, thank you so much. A praying mantis fits Cersei pretty well, she eats her own. Tyrion is also wonderfully in character, it reads like a chapter straight out of the book.

*showers you with praise and love*

tomboy_typist August 1 2009, 03:37:36 UTC

You're totally welcome! And thank you for the praise and lurve! First tries are always a bit nerve-wracking.

It probably helps that I'm reading his POV at the moment. I love this guy. ^^

I hope you feels betterz. <3

pitselly August 1 2009, 05:46:22 UTC

Maybe she aught to wear green, after all. It would be fitting as her sigil. If she had her own, it had to be a praying mantis. Except for how Cersei never prayed.

Nnngh this line. Oh, perfect. It describes Cersei so well (I myself have wondered before why she's seen wearing green more often than red, since gold-- her hair-- and crimson would fit better to her house colors. Now I have a symbolic reason!) and matches Tyrion's inner-monologue perfectly. The whole thing was very ic (Cersei completely not getting the irony of what she says, in terms of Tyrion's life! Tyrion thinking about Cersei's private parts and her future husband!) and has a pace that I'm really fond of, sort of snippets of everyday life that I just find so interesting in fic. My only criticism is, while you have the characterization down pat, the wording is slightly off for a Tyrion POV, if you were trying for a Tyrion POV in GRRM's style (which is a deeper 3rd person than most books go) and not your own. Tyrion would definitely make all those observations up there, ( ... )

tomboy_typist August 1 2009, 16:24:04 UTC

Thank you thank you thank you! You know how much I am a sucker for feedback!

I'm glad you enjoyed the characterizations (that always worries me). As for the style of writing, I'll admit I wasn't really trying to emulate GRRM, because a) I don't think I can, and b) I'd rather develop my own style, even if I'm writing fanfiction. I was kind of aware that some of the wording wouldn't be perfectly GRRM-type (like 'cunt'), but it felt appropriate and right, so there it was.

As we were discussing th'other night, I have issues with original work, so at least in writing fan fiction I can try to get the abc's of narrative technique down? Or something?

On a completely unrelated subject, I think that if she were asked, Cersei would argue that she likes to wear green because it brings out the color of her eyes, and that it's just plain good taste. But. You know. Cersei. XD

pitselly August 1 2009, 16:29:15 UTC

I figured that was the case, but just in the happenstance that it wasn't, I thought it worthwhile to note? Does that make any sense D:

That makes sense. I'm a freak for narrative structure, myself (one story alternates between comic style, 1st person prose, and 3rd person prose, for example), so I sometimes over-focus onnit.

WELL YES BUT :|

tomboy_typist August 1 2009, 17:40:58 UTC

It makes total sense, and I'm glad that you pointed it out! This is why I want feedback, and that's why I love your reviews so much. You give me things to think about.

<3