Moments
Rating: PG 13
Characters: Cristina, mentions of Cristina/Owen and light Cristina/Burke.
Summary: This moment is the happiest moment of your life.
The moment isn’t as bitter as you thought it would be.
It’s soft and solemn, a realization that you love Owen but you’re not right for him and he’s not right for you; a realization that he shares. The goodbye is soft and it almost feels like you should reach out to him, share a soft kiss just as you always do.
Almost.
The damn creaking in the door that you both complain about but haven’t bothered to fix is the only thing that lets you know that he’s gone. Your eyes wander the house that you never wanted and you wonder what’s going to happen now.
The moment isn’t as bitter as you thought it would be. It isn’t sad.
It’s quietly liberating.
---
Leaving Seattle isn’t completely an option yet. Meredith needs you and though you’ve barely bothered to pay attention to the city itself, you love Seattle.
It’s home.
New Orleans is the exact opposite of what Seattle is. The most modern buildings seem antiquated, tradition firmly rooted in the foundation supporting them. The air is heavier and muggier and it’s making it hard for you to breathe.
Blaming it on the air is much easier than facing the truth.
His eyes are just as intense as you had remembered them and he can still see right through you. The trip here was very much planned, just as this meeting. There were things that you had planned on saying to him as well but they’ve all faded away.
This moment is harder than you’d thought it would be.
Feelings had lingered and you knew that; you loved him and you always will in a way. There are bitter emotions about the way it ended, the way he left so and took your heart with him. There were things you had planned on saying to him but the only thing lingering on your lips is his.
This moment is harder than you’d thought it would be but it’s also eerily easy.
---
You waste very little time comparing what things were like with Owen to what they were like with Burke. You never bothered with Owen and you’re not going to with Burke. Especially when Burke’s hands are gripping your hips and his lips are heavy on your shoulder and the ache in your body is spreading like wildfire.
As he nudges you gently onto the bed, divests himself of his clothes as you strip away the last of yours, your mind finally falls quiet and you let go.
In more ways than one.
---
The moment is more bittersweet than you had imagined.
It took one weekend to fall in love with him all over again. Though you haven’t truly experienced New Orleans, you know enough to know that it isn’t home. He offers to take you to the airport and you shake your head. Why make things harder when they’re already hard enough? He asks again if you’re sure and you say yes.
Why couldn’t he ask before?
There’s a heavy silence that hangs between you and there are words lingering on your lips but none of them matter.
New Orleans is his home and Seattle is yours.
Causally he mentions that if he’s in Seattle that he’ll give you a call. You answer that he should. You both know that he’s not coming back to Seattle. There’s too much there, too many bad memories, too many good ones, too many connotations and to many questions that would need to be answered.
You mention a conference in Boston next month and he sadly smiles and shakes his head.
There are words lingering on your lips but instead you press yours to his and whisper that you love him before you say goodbye.
If you believed in meant to be, you would believe that he was it but you don’t and you’re not changing for him just like you couldn’t change for Owen. If he wants to find you, he’ll know where you are. You also know that he won’t because he’s just as stubborn as you are and neither one of you are willing to bend.
The moment is bittersweet but you know it would have never worked. That was another time and too many things have changed since then.
---
Your eyes trace the new apartment, the first time you’ve ever actually cared to decorate your own place. If your mother knew, she’d probably send out an announcement. It’s nothing special, mostly modern and less homey than most would prefer but it’s enough, especially when your plans involve more hospital and less home.
Forty years from now, you’ll probably be the surgeon that the residents are silently pleading with to retire but you don’t care. It’s the life that you chose years ago and it’s the life that you want to lead.
The moment that you realize this isn’t as sad you know it probably should be.
It’s the happiest moment of your life.
Characters: Cristina, mentions of Cristina/Owen and light Cristina/Burke.
Summary: This moment is the happiest moment of your life.
The moment isn’t as bitter as you thought it would be.
It’s soft and solemn, a realization that you love Owen but you’re not right for him and he’s not right for you; a realization that he shares. The goodbye is soft and it almost feels like you should reach out to him, share a soft kiss just as you always do.
Almost.
The damn creaking in the door that you both complain about but haven’t bothered to fix is the only thing that lets you know that he’s gone. Your eyes wander the house that you never wanted and you wonder what’s going to happen now.
The moment isn’t as bitter as you thought it would be. It isn’t sad.
It’s quietly liberating.
---
Leaving Seattle isn’t completely an option yet. Meredith needs you and though you’ve barely bothered to pay attention to the city itself, you love Seattle.
It’s home.
New Orleans is the exact opposite of what Seattle is. The most modern buildings seem antiquated, tradition firmly rooted in the foundation supporting them. The air is heavier and muggier and it’s making it hard for you to breathe.
Blaming it on the air is much easier than facing the truth.
His eyes are just as intense as you had remembered them and he can still see right through you. The trip here was very much planned, just as this meeting. There were things that you had planned on saying to him as well but they’ve all faded away.
This moment is harder than you’d thought it would be.
Feelings had lingered and you knew that; you loved him and you always will in a way. There are bitter emotions about the way it ended, the way he left so and took your heart with him. There were things you had planned on saying to him but the only thing lingering on your lips is his.
This moment is harder than you’d thought it would be but it’s also eerily easy.
---
You waste very little time comparing what things were like with Owen to what they were like with Burke. You never bothered with Owen and you’re not going to with Burke. Especially when Burke’s hands are gripping your hips and his lips are heavy on your shoulder and the ache in your body is spreading like wildfire.
As he nudges you gently onto the bed, divests himself of his clothes as you strip away the last of yours, your mind finally falls quiet and you let go.
In more ways than one.
---
The moment is more bittersweet than you had imagined.
It took one weekend to fall in love with him all over again. Though you haven’t truly experienced New Orleans, you know enough to know that it isn’t home. He offers to take you to the airport and you shake your head. Why make things harder when they’re already hard enough? He asks again if you’re sure and you say yes.
Why couldn’t he ask before?
There’s a heavy silence that hangs between you and there are words lingering on your lips but none of them matter.
New Orleans is his home and Seattle is yours.
Causally he mentions that if he’s in Seattle that he’ll give you a call. You answer that he should. You both know that he’s not coming back to Seattle. There’s too much there, too many bad memories, too many good ones, too many connotations and to many questions that would need to be answered.
You mention a conference in Boston next month and he sadly smiles and shakes his head.
There are words lingering on your lips but instead you press yours to his and whisper that you love him before you say goodbye.
If you believed in meant to be, you would believe that he was it but you don’t and you’re not changing for him just like you couldn’t change for Owen. If he wants to find you, he’ll know where you are. You also know that he won’t because he’s just as stubborn as you are and neither one of you are willing to bend.
The moment is bittersweet but you know it would have never worked. That was another time and too many things have changed since then.
---
Your eyes trace the new apartment, the first time you’ve ever actually cared to decorate your own place. If your mother knew, she’d probably send out an announcement. It’s nothing special, mostly modern and less homey than most would prefer but it’s enough, especially when your plans involve more hospital and less home.
Forty years from now, you’ll probably be the surgeon that the residents are silently pleading with to retire but you don’t care. It’s the life that you chose years ago and it’s the life that you want to lead.
The moment that you realize this isn’t as sad you know it probably should be.
It’s the happiest moment of your life.