Confession (And Another One)
Title: Confession (And Another One)
Pairing: Yasui/Juri
Rating: PG
Word count: 4200
A/N: It’s been way too long since I’ve written anything so I was really glad when I finally got an inspiring prompt. The fic is written for the Tomochoco Fanworks Challenge (38. An anonymous love letter goes astray and causes A-kun to think Anon/B-kun is in love with him, even though the letter was originally meant for someone else.) and dedicated to the Finnish weirdoes on my tlist. You’re amazing girls♥
- - -
To Ken-chan
I’ve wanted to write to you for a while already.
Hello, it’s me. I don’t quite know how to start a letter like this but I guess I’ll have to try.
Hi! This is the first time I’m writing you.
There are many things I’d like to tell you but
Hi! How are you?
I like you.
Yasui stared at the two short sentences and several smudged lines between them on the small piece of paper that he had found in his locker while dressing up.
“Is this a joke?” he asked aloud, blinking in confusion. The handwriting was distantly familiar but no matter how hard he stared at it he couldn’t come up with an actual name.
“Oh, the letter?” Hagiya said, an amused smile playing in the corners of his mouth, “I found if lying on the floor so I put it into the locker so it wouldn’t get lost or something.”
“Did you read it?” Yasui gasped; feeling strangely embarrassed over the matter.
“Sorry, couldn’t really help it. I only realized what it was when I had already looked at it,” Hagiya chuckled, finished undressing himself and wrapped a towel around his waist. “Why such a serious face? You have an admirer. Kinda cute, isn’t it? One could think you had gotten used to that already, right?” He didn’t wait for an answer but vanished into the shower room instead.
“My admirers usually stay nicely behind their uchiwas instead of sneaking into our dressing room to leave me weird notes,” Yasui murmured under his breath. He pushed the letter into the pocket of his jeans and thanked all the possible gods and deities for Hagiya having been the only other person in the dressing room when he opened his locker. It wasn’t that he minded having a (supposedly) male admirer or whatever, he just didn’t need everyone around him joking about it.
“You’re looking weird. What is it?” Taiga asked, coming from the showers. Kouchi and Myuto followed him, and soon after them Shintaro. Suddenly the dressing room was far from empty and silent when half a dozen of young men were drying themselves and changing into their casual clothes.
“Nothing,” Yasui said quickly and flashed the younger man a perfect idol smile, “except maybe your hair. I’d definitely do something to it if I was you. Did you know the younger juniors are already calling you Rapunzel-senpai?”
“That’s a lie,” Taiga said, perfectly undisturbed, “You’re just jealous of my hair!”
“Of your mane, you mean?” Juri retorted as he stepped into the room.
“Watch your tongue or it will drop off like your towel,” Taiga said calmly, reached his hand and, before Juri managed to do anything to stop him, yanked on the corner of the towel so that the whole piece of fabric fell down on the floor.
“Hey!” Juri cried out and crouched to pick it up again, “Grow up already!”
“Into a mature and composed adult, just like you?” Yasui asked, laughing. To his surprise Juri didn’t throw back another almost-funny joke. Instead, his eyes widened when he looked up, and he looked like he had suddenly forgotten how to form any words at all. After opening and closing his mouth a few times Juri seemed to remember he was standing in the middle of the room completely naked. His face turned bright red and he quickly wrapped the towel tightly around himself again, avoiding Yasui’s eyes when he rushed to his own locker.
The reaction surprised Yasui - he couldn’t remember the last time Juri had been so uncomfortable with people seeing his body in the dressing room. Everyone had already worked together such a long time that no-one really had anything to cover anymore. Sometimes the younger juniors turned a bit shy when approaching puberty but as soon as they got used to their own changed bodies again they usually went back to their old habits. Yasui frowned at the thought. Now that he thought about it, Juri had grown past the shy phase a long time ago. Yet Yasui couldn’t recall the last time he would have seen Juri naked, even though they worked together all the time and often finished work at the same time.
Not wanting to make Juri feel any more uncomfortable than he already did, Yasui turned to stuff his things into his bag. However, he couldn’t help a few secret glances towards Juri’s back. He discreetly followed how Juri got his clothes from his locker and happily chatted with Shintaro and Myuto. Yasui blinked when Shintaro accidentally bumped into Juri and the unlucky towel flew down again. This time Juri hardly cared, simply picking up his underwear and putting it on like nothing special had happened, before he even glanced at the towel on the floor. Similarly, Juri didn’t seem to mind Myuto’s hand on his bare shoulder, and his short apology was casual as ever when he himself bumped against Shintaro in the narrow personal space everyone had in front of their lockers.
Yasui tilted his head and frowned. At one time Juri had a problem, and on the other moment he didn’t, and Yasui couldn’t decide if he had a reason to worry over his friend or not. Even though he rarely remembered the age difference between them just sometimes the four years between them felt like a half of a human life, with Juri’s teenage shenanigans. Whatever it was, asking wouldn’t hurt anyone, Yasui thought and made a mental note to catch Juri later and ask if there was something bothering him.
“How are your Valentine date plans for tomorrow going by the way,” Yasui heard Myuto asking someone on the other side of the room and he looked behind to see who the boy was talking to. It was Kouchi who made a face and raised a forefinger in front of his mouth to shush Myuto.
“Definitely better if you don’t yell it to the whole world,” Kouchi said but smiled at the same time. “Of course we can’t go out publicly so she promised to cook something really good for me, and her parents aren’t going to be home!”
“Lucky bastard,” Shintaro chuckled and Kouchi winked at him, obviously pleased with himself. Everyone laughed at them, and in the moment of commotion Yasui took the chance and glanced at Juri again.
Eyes met eyes and Juri quickly looked away, the embarrassed blush returning on his cheeks. His behavior was both weird and obvious enough that Yasui finally recognized it. If he hadn’t known better, he would have said Juri was having a crush on him.
Suddenly he thought he knew why the handwriting on the letter had been so familiar.
People in the room got dressed up and left home one by one, and even though Yasui had been the first to come from the showers in the end he was the last one to leave. He travelled home as if in a trance, changing trains without really paying much attention to what he was doing or where he was going. His mind was busy with more important things.
The more he thought about it, the clearer it all got. In a few moments Yasui could count together all the weird things in Juri’s behavior during the last weeks. He now knew what made Juri’s eyes shine whenever Yasui saw him in the dressing room in the mornings, and he understood where the surprise bottles of water always came. He thought about the way Juri’s smile always brightened up when Yasui talked to him and the sudden realization of those things made Yasui blink a few times when a strange feeling flooded through him.
He was not in love with Juri; there was no need to even think about such a thing. Juri was one of his best friends and also very much like a little brother to him. It had never occurred to him that Juri might think of him in any other way either.
“Shit,” he murmured when he got home and kicked his shoes into the corner of the hallway. He threw his jacket on the coat rack, took two steps, sighed, and returned to arrange his shoes properly.
“Welcome back,” his mother called from the kitchen, “Are you hungry? The dinner will be ready in an hour, when your father comes home, but I can make something small to you before that if you want to.”
“Thanks,” Yasui said and sat down by the table, letting his gaze follow his mother as she worked by the counter, humming some happy melody in a low voice. The sight was somehow comforting, he thought. As long as he could remember, he had sat by the same table like that, having come home from school or work and watching as his mother cooked the dinner for their small family. For a second he forgot his problem but after a while, now that he had nothing else to think about, all the troubling thoughts came back and he got quickly up again.
“What is it?” his mother asked and raised her eyebrows, “Is everything all right?”
“Yeah, I just…” Yasui said and glanced at his bag on the floor, “I remembered my clothes. They need washing.”
“Leave them to me; I was going to do the laundry tomorrow morning anyway.”
“No, um. It’s a high time for me to learn how to do it by myself, don’t you think so too?” he said, flashed a hasty smile and escaped into the utility room with his bag, mentally cursing his awkwardness. His mother was definitely going to guess something was up. He only wished she’d be nice enough to not ask about it.
Once his t-shirt and sweatpants were in the washer he frowned. The machine should probably be loaded full before he could start the washing program, right? He glanced at the full laundry basket, picked it up and emptied the whole basket into the washer. He had to press the pile of clothes tighter with his hands before he could close the lid of the washer, and he felt a bit proud of himself, for actually doing some homework and thus helping his mother.
“Do you know how to switch it on?” his mother asked from the kitchen and Yasui sighed. So much for helping. He had no idea how to make the washer start. She waited for a few seconds and continued when she didn’t get an answer. “Fine, just a second. I’ll show you.”
When she came from the kitchen, she looked at the laundry basket in front of the washer.
“Did you…” she started and then smiled gently, “My dear boy, you can’t put them all at the same time. You must separate the dark and the light colors, and also be careful to not load the washer too full.”
Yasui felt like a ten-year-old kid when he, with the instructions of his mother, emptied the washer, sorted the clothes, and loaded the washer again.
“So,” she said when he was measuring the right amount of detergent and fabric softener, “will you tell me what’s wrong or shall I ask?”
If one thing in the world was trustworthy, it was his mother’s curiosity and will to take care of her only child. He should have known it was pointless to hope she wouldn’t want to know what was going on.
“I…” he said and realized he had no idea how to explain it without sounding awkward. “I think there is… someone. Someone who likes me.”
“Isn’t that a nice thing?” she asked, studying her son’s face curiously, “Do you like them back?”
“I don’t know,” Yasui sighed. “Well, I do but… I’m not sure if it’s in the same way.”
“Maybe you should give it a chance,” she said, “Even if he’s your friend.”
Unable to prevent a surprised gasp Yasui stared at his mother in utter shock.
“A mother always knows,” she said with a gentle smile and pointed at the washing machine. “You should do whatever you feel is the right thing. Now press those two buttons and the washer will start. Easy, isn’t it?”
“Yes,” Yasui stammered, wondering what he was actually answering to, with how she kept changing the topic.
His mother returned to the kitchen, and Yasui slowly climbed upstairs into his own room.
By the time she called him down to eat the sandwiches, he had made his decision.
- - -
“Huh? Me?” Juri asked, his eyes round, “But it’s--”
“I know what day it is,” Yasui sighed, “Are you free or are you not?”
“It’s okay,” Juri said quickly and hastily pushed the rest of his things into his locker, “I had no plans for the evening anyway.”
“Good. Let’s go as soon as you’re ready,” Yasui said and tried his best to ignore the surprised yet knowing smile that flashed on Hagiya’s face when their eyes met. Damn that one, reading other people’s letters and pulling conclusions like some overly committed Cupid. There was no doubt if Hagiya had already guessed as well who had written the letter.
“So, um. Where are we going?” Juri asked when they were walking towards the train station.
“You decide,” Yasui said with a shrug. He meant it, too. He wanted to make Juri happy, and he was open to everything Juri might suggest. The younger one looked surprised yet pleased, and after a while they found themselves sitting in some cozy traditional-style restaurant.
“A fangirl free zone,” Juri explained smugly, “Be free to marvel at the excellence of my genius.”
“How do you know?” Yasui asked, although he really hoped Juri was right.
“Come on, how many young women do you think would like this kind of a place?” Juri snorted quietly and beckoned at the room. Yasui had to admit Juri was right.
The place was far from all those stylish little cafés by the downtown, with the old-fashioned furniture and decorations, and a rather remote location. There were no other women in the restaurant than the lady working by the counter. All customers were male, most of them black-suited salarymen close to or over their fifties. The air was thick with dull smell of cigarette smoke, and almost all customers in the surrounding tables had glasses of sake in front of them - glasses that without doubt were not their first ones. The men were drunk and loud when talking and laughing together, but even though they were otherwise perfectly harmless Yasui agreed with Juri anyway; it definitely wasn’t a place where school girls would gladly gather on their free time.
They took a moment to study the menu on the wall and ended up deciding to share three different kinds of okonomiyaki. Juri had self-declared himself a master okonomiyaki cook, and after the restaurant lady brought the half-fried servings to their table grill Juri took care of the food with the small spatulas she had given them. They had a good time together, talking and laughing, and Yasui sincerely hoped they had more free time so they could eat together like this more often. Maybe they would soon, with Juri graduating high school and having his spring holiday after that.
Along the dinner Yasui made sure he paid proper attention to Juri; looking into his eyes and filling his glass of water whenever it was getting empty, and carefully listening to anything he had to say. Even though he didn’t think Juri noticed anything weird in his behavior he was sure his attention was somehow noticed anyway. It was as if Juri’s smile was just the tiny bit wider and his laughter slightly more relaxed, and Yasui soon realized he really liked the way Juri looked at him. It made him feel warm and slightly giddy, and he didn’t mind it at all.
“Say, have you ever fooled around with a senpai?” Yasui suddenly asked. He wasn’t sure why he wanted to know such a thing but he couldn’t help being curious. It was nothing unusual in the company anyway; despite most of them being into girls many guys experimented a bit with each other during their years of adolescence.
“What, no!” Juri exclaimed and his face flushed bright red again. “Of course everyone brags about all the things they have supposedly done but--”
“I know,” Yasui said with an understanding smile, “I know how it is. It’s okay.” Juri nodded slowly, and for a moment they ate in silence. Next time Yasui talked, he changed the topic and they didn’t return to the question of fooling around anymore. However, every now and then Yasui caught Juri staring at him, and the look in his eyes made Yasui wonder what Juri was thinking about. Maybe it was still his question from earlier that bothered him. Juri might even be thinking about him? After all, he was a senpai to Juri, right? Age-wise at least?
Yasui himself had done his share of playing with the senpai. (It had been nothing much, really. Mere flirting; long looks, allusive smiles, and fleeting touches.) However, he had never thought about Juri that way. Now he did, and the thought of doing such things with Juri was weird and hot at the same time.
After all the years of working together Yasui had a clear perception of what Juri looked like when he was all sweaty and exhausted, gasping for breath after some hard dance routine, and he had no problem altering the mental image into a more horizontal one. He could even imagine the little moans and whimpers that Juri always made when someone was massaging his shoulders, and add the noises into a very different picture.
He liked his newly formed mental image a lot.
“What are you staring at?” Juri asked, and Yasui blinked in confusion. He hadn’t noticed he had been staring at all. “Is there something on my--”
Juri’s voice trailed off and he took a deep shaky breath, and Yasui wondered if Juri could actually hear his thoughts. No, maybe it was just the purposeful intensity of his stare that made Juri slip off his rails like that. Yasui licked his lower lip, just for a test, and followed how Juri’s eyes darted down from his eyes to his mouth before he quickly looked away, looking alarmed and embarrassed and turned on and adorable, and suddenly Yasui himself had to take a moment to catch his breath before the tingling feeling in his abdomen would move down into his pants.
“I think I’m ready,” he said and nodded towards his empty plate, changing the topic again.
“Me too,” Juri rushed to say and swiftly stuffed the last cold piece of his okonomiyaki into his mouth. When paying to the lady who brought them the check Yasui wondered if it would have been wiser to stay and sit behind the safe of the table for a moment longer but it was too late to think about it anymore.
“Maybe… it’s the time to go home,” Juri said reluctantly, avoiding Yasui’s eyes when they stood in front of the doors of the restaurant.
“Not yet,” Yasui said and nodded towards the sign of a familiar karaoke chain across the road. He didn’t know where the idea came from, and he wasn’t quite looking at Juri so he couldn’t be sure but the boy seemed to shiver at the mere suggestion.
“Sure,” Juri said, “Why not?” His voice was way too light and confident to fool anyone, and Yasui secretly smiled at him.
The next hour turned out being something that Yasui could have nicely called torture. Very soon he regretted the whole sudden decision to continue their kind-of-a-date. Even though they, by a wordless agreement, tried their best to choose as neutral songs as possible, for some reason every song’s every line suddenly seemed to have secret meanings and not-so-subtle implicatures hidden within them. Not to mention the ridiculously romantic background videos from the previous century that didn’t help at all.
In the end Juri’s patience was the first one to snap. It was Yasui’s turn to sing a solo verse of the current song and he was standing in front of the sofa (he had kicked the table further away to get more room) when suddenly Juri stood up behind him and wrapped his arms tightly around Yasui’s waist. Startled, Yasui almost dropped his microphone and only barely managed to keep it in his hands. He tried to turn around but Juri stopped him, holding him even tighter.
“Don’t move,” he whispered in a tiny voice that was barely audible over the music playing, and pressed his face against the side of Yasui’s neck. The soft breeze of Juri’s breath on his skin made Yasui shiver and close his eyes for a second. He hadn’t included this kind of a situation into his mental images earlier but he couldn’t say he was complaining. The reality felt even weirder than his scenarios but at the same time it felt so good, and Yasui couldn’t help tilting his head to the side, making more room for Juri to do whatever he’d want to.
“Why aren’t you freaking out?” Juri asked quietly and squeezed the fabric of Yasui’s shirt into his fists, “You already know, don’t you?”
“I know,” Yasui said. He reached his hand up and behind until he could bury his fingers into Juri’s hair. Juri sighed and leaned towards the touch, distracted enough that Yasui managed to turn around and look up into Juri’s eyes now that they were face-to-face. Juri swallowed and opened his mouth as if he was going to say something but no words came out.
“Don’t ask,” Yasui murmured, “Just do it.”
Juri swallowed again, his eyes wide and hesitating, before he finally leaned down without a word and pressed his lips on Yasui’s. Yasui immediately closed his eyes and leaned closer, enjoying the way Juri’s hold on his waist tightened again, pulling their bodies together from their chests down to hips. Wanting to be absolutely sure that Juri wouldn’t chicken away, Yasui lifted his own shaky hands up to Juri’s hair and moved his lips in a slightly more demanding manner, encouraging Juri to deepen the kiss until they were both shivering and breathing heavily. Yasui loved the feeling.
“How?” Juri asked when he finally dared to open his eyes and meet Yasui’s gaze, “How did you know? I never told anyone.”
“I found the letter,” Yasui chuckled and shook his head, “it wasn’t very subtle, you know.”
Yasui was still smiling at the thought of the letter that he had carefully hidden under some other papers in the drawer of his desk when Juri took a step back and frowned at him.
“What are you talking about? What letter?”
“The one you wrote and said you like me,” Yasui explained as though to a child and blinked when he realized Juri’s confusion wasn’t faked.
“But…” Juri said slowly, “I haven’t written any letters to anyone for years.”
There was a long silence during which they simply stared at each other until Yasui burst out into an incredulous laughter.
“Are you really, really sure?” he asked just to make it clear, and Juri nodded firmly. “But it was addressed to Ken-chan!”
“You’re not the only Ken-chan around here are you? Believe me, the letter was written by somebody else. Hopefully… hopefully for somebody else, too.” Juri pointed out and then fell serious again. “Never mind. I mean, letter or not, I never thought you would…”
“That I would like you back?” Yasui suggested and enjoyed the way Juri’s eyelids fluttered down when Yasui slowly brushed his fingers across Juri’s neck and ear. “Me either. But I’ve been thinking about it ever since last night and, well. I don’t know.”
It was the truth; he was absolutely sure he wasn’t having a crush on Juri - yet. But he was definitely feeling something, and that something was strong enough to make him more than ready to give it a try.
His words had made a shadow of insecurity waver on Juri’s face and Yasui smiled at him as soothingly as he could.
“I don’t know what I’m feeling,” he repeated, “But I really liked the way you looked at me at the restaurant. And I… I realized I want you to keep looking at me like that all the time. I’m sure that would help me to fall for you a bit faster.”
“You mean--” Juri said slowly and Yasui interrupted him before he managed to continue.
“I mean,” he said with a wide grin, “That if you’d try to give me some Valentine Chocolate, I’d definitely accept it.”
It was a cheesy thing to say, Yasui thought, but not quite as bad as it could have been. And when Juri’s worried expression turned into a delighted smile that got Yasui’s breath caught in his throat he decided the feeling was definitely worth all the insecurities and hesitation.
The radiance of Juri’s smile made him feel warm and comfortable - and loved in the best possible way.
- - -
links to the other writers' tomochoco fics:
arashijun | faded-lace 1 2 3 | lady-michiru | mousapelli 1 2 3 | ohhai-yo | rikikomori | vflmaeuschen 1 2 | yomimashou
- - -
Pairing: Yasui/Juri
Rating: PG
Word count: 4200
A/N: It’s been way too long since I’ve written anything so I was really glad when I finally got an inspiring prompt. The fic is written for the Tomochoco Fanworks Challenge (38. An anonymous love letter goes astray and causes A-kun to think Anon/B-kun is in love with him, even though the letter was originally meant for someone else.) and dedicated to the Finnish weirdoes on my tlist. You’re amazing girls♥
- - -
To Ken-chan
I’ve wanted to write to you for a while already.
Hello, it’s me. I don’t quite know how to start a letter like this but I guess I’ll have to try.
Hi! This is the first time I’m writing you.
There are many things I’d like to tell you but
Hi! How are you?
I like you.
Yasui stared at the two short sentences and several smudged lines between them on the small piece of paper that he had found in his locker while dressing up.
“Is this a joke?” he asked aloud, blinking in confusion. The handwriting was distantly familiar but no matter how hard he stared at it he couldn’t come up with an actual name.
“Oh, the letter?” Hagiya said, an amused smile playing in the corners of his mouth, “I found if lying on the floor so I put it into the locker so it wouldn’t get lost or something.”
“Did you read it?” Yasui gasped; feeling strangely embarrassed over the matter.
“Sorry, couldn’t really help it. I only realized what it was when I had already looked at it,” Hagiya chuckled, finished undressing himself and wrapped a towel around his waist. “Why such a serious face? You have an admirer. Kinda cute, isn’t it? One could think you had gotten used to that already, right?” He didn’t wait for an answer but vanished into the shower room instead.
“My admirers usually stay nicely behind their uchiwas instead of sneaking into our dressing room to leave me weird notes,” Yasui murmured under his breath. He pushed the letter into the pocket of his jeans and thanked all the possible gods and deities for Hagiya having been the only other person in the dressing room when he opened his locker. It wasn’t that he minded having a (supposedly) male admirer or whatever, he just didn’t need everyone around him joking about it.
“You’re looking weird. What is it?” Taiga asked, coming from the showers. Kouchi and Myuto followed him, and soon after them Shintaro. Suddenly the dressing room was far from empty and silent when half a dozen of young men were drying themselves and changing into their casual clothes.
“Nothing,” Yasui said quickly and flashed the younger man a perfect idol smile, “except maybe your hair. I’d definitely do something to it if I was you. Did you know the younger juniors are already calling you Rapunzel-senpai?”
“That’s a lie,” Taiga said, perfectly undisturbed, “You’re just jealous of my hair!”
“Of your mane, you mean?” Juri retorted as he stepped into the room.
“Watch your tongue or it will drop off like your towel,” Taiga said calmly, reached his hand and, before Juri managed to do anything to stop him, yanked on the corner of the towel so that the whole piece of fabric fell down on the floor.
“Hey!” Juri cried out and crouched to pick it up again, “Grow up already!”
“Into a mature and composed adult, just like you?” Yasui asked, laughing. To his surprise Juri didn’t throw back another almost-funny joke. Instead, his eyes widened when he looked up, and he looked like he had suddenly forgotten how to form any words at all. After opening and closing his mouth a few times Juri seemed to remember he was standing in the middle of the room completely naked. His face turned bright red and he quickly wrapped the towel tightly around himself again, avoiding Yasui’s eyes when he rushed to his own locker.
The reaction surprised Yasui - he couldn’t remember the last time Juri had been so uncomfortable with people seeing his body in the dressing room. Everyone had already worked together such a long time that no-one really had anything to cover anymore. Sometimes the younger juniors turned a bit shy when approaching puberty but as soon as they got used to their own changed bodies again they usually went back to their old habits. Yasui frowned at the thought. Now that he thought about it, Juri had grown past the shy phase a long time ago. Yet Yasui couldn’t recall the last time he would have seen Juri naked, even though they worked together all the time and often finished work at the same time.
Not wanting to make Juri feel any more uncomfortable than he already did, Yasui turned to stuff his things into his bag. However, he couldn’t help a few secret glances towards Juri’s back. He discreetly followed how Juri got his clothes from his locker and happily chatted with Shintaro and Myuto. Yasui blinked when Shintaro accidentally bumped into Juri and the unlucky towel flew down again. This time Juri hardly cared, simply picking up his underwear and putting it on like nothing special had happened, before he even glanced at the towel on the floor. Similarly, Juri didn’t seem to mind Myuto’s hand on his bare shoulder, and his short apology was casual as ever when he himself bumped against Shintaro in the narrow personal space everyone had in front of their lockers.
Yasui tilted his head and frowned. At one time Juri had a problem, and on the other moment he didn’t, and Yasui couldn’t decide if he had a reason to worry over his friend or not. Even though he rarely remembered the age difference between them just sometimes the four years between them felt like a half of a human life, with Juri’s teenage shenanigans. Whatever it was, asking wouldn’t hurt anyone, Yasui thought and made a mental note to catch Juri later and ask if there was something bothering him.
“How are your Valentine date plans for tomorrow going by the way,” Yasui heard Myuto asking someone on the other side of the room and he looked behind to see who the boy was talking to. It was Kouchi who made a face and raised a forefinger in front of his mouth to shush Myuto.
“Definitely better if you don’t yell it to the whole world,” Kouchi said but smiled at the same time. “Of course we can’t go out publicly so she promised to cook something really good for me, and her parents aren’t going to be home!”
“Lucky bastard,” Shintaro chuckled and Kouchi winked at him, obviously pleased with himself. Everyone laughed at them, and in the moment of commotion Yasui took the chance and glanced at Juri again.
Eyes met eyes and Juri quickly looked away, the embarrassed blush returning on his cheeks. His behavior was both weird and obvious enough that Yasui finally recognized it. If he hadn’t known better, he would have said Juri was having a crush on him.
Suddenly he thought he knew why the handwriting on the letter had been so familiar.
People in the room got dressed up and left home one by one, and even though Yasui had been the first to come from the showers in the end he was the last one to leave. He travelled home as if in a trance, changing trains without really paying much attention to what he was doing or where he was going. His mind was busy with more important things.
The more he thought about it, the clearer it all got. In a few moments Yasui could count together all the weird things in Juri’s behavior during the last weeks. He now knew what made Juri’s eyes shine whenever Yasui saw him in the dressing room in the mornings, and he understood where the surprise bottles of water always came. He thought about the way Juri’s smile always brightened up when Yasui talked to him and the sudden realization of those things made Yasui blink a few times when a strange feeling flooded through him.
He was not in love with Juri; there was no need to even think about such a thing. Juri was one of his best friends and also very much like a little brother to him. It had never occurred to him that Juri might think of him in any other way either.
“Shit,” he murmured when he got home and kicked his shoes into the corner of the hallway. He threw his jacket on the coat rack, took two steps, sighed, and returned to arrange his shoes properly.
“Welcome back,” his mother called from the kitchen, “Are you hungry? The dinner will be ready in an hour, when your father comes home, but I can make something small to you before that if you want to.”
“Thanks,” Yasui said and sat down by the table, letting his gaze follow his mother as she worked by the counter, humming some happy melody in a low voice. The sight was somehow comforting, he thought. As long as he could remember, he had sat by the same table like that, having come home from school or work and watching as his mother cooked the dinner for their small family. For a second he forgot his problem but after a while, now that he had nothing else to think about, all the troubling thoughts came back and he got quickly up again.
“What is it?” his mother asked and raised her eyebrows, “Is everything all right?”
“Yeah, I just…” Yasui said and glanced at his bag on the floor, “I remembered my clothes. They need washing.”
“Leave them to me; I was going to do the laundry tomorrow morning anyway.”
“No, um. It’s a high time for me to learn how to do it by myself, don’t you think so too?” he said, flashed a hasty smile and escaped into the utility room with his bag, mentally cursing his awkwardness. His mother was definitely going to guess something was up. He only wished she’d be nice enough to not ask about it.
Once his t-shirt and sweatpants were in the washer he frowned. The machine should probably be loaded full before he could start the washing program, right? He glanced at the full laundry basket, picked it up and emptied the whole basket into the washer. He had to press the pile of clothes tighter with his hands before he could close the lid of the washer, and he felt a bit proud of himself, for actually doing some homework and thus helping his mother.
“Do you know how to switch it on?” his mother asked from the kitchen and Yasui sighed. So much for helping. He had no idea how to make the washer start. She waited for a few seconds and continued when she didn’t get an answer. “Fine, just a second. I’ll show you.”
When she came from the kitchen, she looked at the laundry basket in front of the washer.
“Did you…” she started and then smiled gently, “My dear boy, you can’t put them all at the same time. You must separate the dark and the light colors, and also be careful to not load the washer too full.”
Yasui felt like a ten-year-old kid when he, with the instructions of his mother, emptied the washer, sorted the clothes, and loaded the washer again.
“So,” she said when he was measuring the right amount of detergent and fabric softener, “will you tell me what’s wrong or shall I ask?”
If one thing in the world was trustworthy, it was his mother’s curiosity and will to take care of her only child. He should have known it was pointless to hope she wouldn’t want to know what was going on.
“I…” he said and realized he had no idea how to explain it without sounding awkward. “I think there is… someone. Someone who likes me.”
“Isn’t that a nice thing?” she asked, studying her son’s face curiously, “Do you like them back?”
“I don’t know,” Yasui sighed. “Well, I do but… I’m not sure if it’s in the same way.”
“Maybe you should give it a chance,” she said, “Even if he’s your friend.”
Unable to prevent a surprised gasp Yasui stared at his mother in utter shock.
“A mother always knows,” she said with a gentle smile and pointed at the washing machine. “You should do whatever you feel is the right thing. Now press those two buttons and the washer will start. Easy, isn’t it?”
“Yes,” Yasui stammered, wondering what he was actually answering to, with how she kept changing the topic.
His mother returned to the kitchen, and Yasui slowly climbed upstairs into his own room.
By the time she called him down to eat the sandwiches, he had made his decision.
- - -
“Huh? Me?” Juri asked, his eyes round, “But it’s--”
“I know what day it is,” Yasui sighed, “Are you free or are you not?”
“It’s okay,” Juri said quickly and hastily pushed the rest of his things into his locker, “I had no plans for the evening anyway.”
“Good. Let’s go as soon as you’re ready,” Yasui said and tried his best to ignore the surprised yet knowing smile that flashed on Hagiya’s face when their eyes met. Damn that one, reading other people’s letters and pulling conclusions like some overly committed Cupid. There was no doubt if Hagiya had already guessed as well who had written the letter.
“So, um. Where are we going?” Juri asked when they were walking towards the train station.
“You decide,” Yasui said with a shrug. He meant it, too. He wanted to make Juri happy, and he was open to everything Juri might suggest. The younger one looked surprised yet pleased, and after a while they found themselves sitting in some cozy traditional-style restaurant.
“A fangirl free zone,” Juri explained smugly, “Be free to marvel at the excellence of my genius.”
“How do you know?” Yasui asked, although he really hoped Juri was right.
“Come on, how many young women do you think would like this kind of a place?” Juri snorted quietly and beckoned at the room. Yasui had to admit Juri was right.
The place was far from all those stylish little cafés by the downtown, with the old-fashioned furniture and decorations, and a rather remote location. There were no other women in the restaurant than the lady working by the counter. All customers were male, most of them black-suited salarymen close to or over their fifties. The air was thick with dull smell of cigarette smoke, and almost all customers in the surrounding tables had glasses of sake in front of them - glasses that without doubt were not their first ones. The men were drunk and loud when talking and laughing together, but even though they were otherwise perfectly harmless Yasui agreed with Juri anyway; it definitely wasn’t a place where school girls would gladly gather on their free time.
They took a moment to study the menu on the wall and ended up deciding to share three different kinds of okonomiyaki. Juri had self-declared himself a master okonomiyaki cook, and after the restaurant lady brought the half-fried servings to their table grill Juri took care of the food with the small spatulas she had given them. They had a good time together, talking and laughing, and Yasui sincerely hoped they had more free time so they could eat together like this more often. Maybe they would soon, with Juri graduating high school and having his spring holiday after that.
Along the dinner Yasui made sure he paid proper attention to Juri; looking into his eyes and filling his glass of water whenever it was getting empty, and carefully listening to anything he had to say. Even though he didn’t think Juri noticed anything weird in his behavior he was sure his attention was somehow noticed anyway. It was as if Juri’s smile was just the tiny bit wider and his laughter slightly more relaxed, and Yasui soon realized he really liked the way Juri looked at him. It made him feel warm and slightly giddy, and he didn’t mind it at all.
“Say, have you ever fooled around with a senpai?” Yasui suddenly asked. He wasn’t sure why he wanted to know such a thing but he couldn’t help being curious. It was nothing unusual in the company anyway; despite most of them being into girls many guys experimented a bit with each other during their years of adolescence.
“What, no!” Juri exclaimed and his face flushed bright red again. “Of course everyone brags about all the things they have supposedly done but--”
“I know,” Yasui said with an understanding smile, “I know how it is. It’s okay.” Juri nodded slowly, and for a moment they ate in silence. Next time Yasui talked, he changed the topic and they didn’t return to the question of fooling around anymore. However, every now and then Yasui caught Juri staring at him, and the look in his eyes made Yasui wonder what Juri was thinking about. Maybe it was still his question from earlier that bothered him. Juri might even be thinking about him? After all, he was a senpai to Juri, right? Age-wise at least?
Yasui himself had done his share of playing with the senpai. (It had been nothing much, really. Mere flirting; long looks, allusive smiles, and fleeting touches.) However, he had never thought about Juri that way. Now he did, and the thought of doing such things with Juri was weird and hot at the same time.
After all the years of working together Yasui had a clear perception of what Juri looked like when he was all sweaty and exhausted, gasping for breath after some hard dance routine, and he had no problem altering the mental image into a more horizontal one. He could even imagine the little moans and whimpers that Juri always made when someone was massaging his shoulders, and add the noises into a very different picture.
He liked his newly formed mental image a lot.
“What are you staring at?” Juri asked, and Yasui blinked in confusion. He hadn’t noticed he had been staring at all. “Is there something on my--”
Juri’s voice trailed off and he took a deep shaky breath, and Yasui wondered if Juri could actually hear his thoughts. No, maybe it was just the purposeful intensity of his stare that made Juri slip off his rails like that. Yasui licked his lower lip, just for a test, and followed how Juri’s eyes darted down from his eyes to his mouth before he quickly looked away, looking alarmed and embarrassed and turned on and adorable, and suddenly Yasui himself had to take a moment to catch his breath before the tingling feeling in his abdomen would move down into his pants.
“I think I’m ready,” he said and nodded towards his empty plate, changing the topic again.
“Me too,” Juri rushed to say and swiftly stuffed the last cold piece of his okonomiyaki into his mouth. When paying to the lady who brought them the check Yasui wondered if it would have been wiser to stay and sit behind the safe of the table for a moment longer but it was too late to think about it anymore.
“Maybe… it’s the time to go home,” Juri said reluctantly, avoiding Yasui’s eyes when they stood in front of the doors of the restaurant.
“Not yet,” Yasui said and nodded towards the sign of a familiar karaoke chain across the road. He didn’t know where the idea came from, and he wasn’t quite looking at Juri so he couldn’t be sure but the boy seemed to shiver at the mere suggestion.
“Sure,” Juri said, “Why not?” His voice was way too light and confident to fool anyone, and Yasui secretly smiled at him.
The next hour turned out being something that Yasui could have nicely called torture. Very soon he regretted the whole sudden decision to continue their kind-of-a-date. Even though they, by a wordless agreement, tried their best to choose as neutral songs as possible, for some reason every song’s every line suddenly seemed to have secret meanings and not-so-subtle implicatures hidden within them. Not to mention the ridiculously romantic background videos from the previous century that didn’t help at all.
In the end Juri’s patience was the first one to snap. It was Yasui’s turn to sing a solo verse of the current song and he was standing in front of the sofa (he had kicked the table further away to get more room) when suddenly Juri stood up behind him and wrapped his arms tightly around Yasui’s waist. Startled, Yasui almost dropped his microphone and only barely managed to keep it in his hands. He tried to turn around but Juri stopped him, holding him even tighter.
“Don’t move,” he whispered in a tiny voice that was barely audible over the music playing, and pressed his face against the side of Yasui’s neck. The soft breeze of Juri’s breath on his skin made Yasui shiver and close his eyes for a second. He hadn’t included this kind of a situation into his mental images earlier but he couldn’t say he was complaining. The reality felt even weirder than his scenarios but at the same time it felt so good, and Yasui couldn’t help tilting his head to the side, making more room for Juri to do whatever he’d want to.
“Why aren’t you freaking out?” Juri asked quietly and squeezed the fabric of Yasui’s shirt into his fists, “You already know, don’t you?”
“I know,” Yasui said. He reached his hand up and behind until he could bury his fingers into Juri’s hair. Juri sighed and leaned towards the touch, distracted enough that Yasui managed to turn around and look up into Juri’s eyes now that they were face-to-face. Juri swallowed and opened his mouth as if he was going to say something but no words came out.
“Don’t ask,” Yasui murmured, “Just do it.”
Juri swallowed again, his eyes wide and hesitating, before he finally leaned down without a word and pressed his lips on Yasui’s. Yasui immediately closed his eyes and leaned closer, enjoying the way Juri’s hold on his waist tightened again, pulling their bodies together from their chests down to hips. Wanting to be absolutely sure that Juri wouldn’t chicken away, Yasui lifted his own shaky hands up to Juri’s hair and moved his lips in a slightly more demanding manner, encouraging Juri to deepen the kiss until they were both shivering and breathing heavily. Yasui loved the feeling.
“How?” Juri asked when he finally dared to open his eyes and meet Yasui’s gaze, “How did you know? I never told anyone.”
“I found the letter,” Yasui chuckled and shook his head, “it wasn’t very subtle, you know.”
Yasui was still smiling at the thought of the letter that he had carefully hidden under some other papers in the drawer of his desk when Juri took a step back and frowned at him.
“What are you talking about? What letter?”
“The one you wrote and said you like me,” Yasui explained as though to a child and blinked when he realized Juri’s confusion wasn’t faked.
“But…” Juri said slowly, “I haven’t written any letters to anyone for years.”
There was a long silence during which they simply stared at each other until Yasui burst out into an incredulous laughter.
“Are you really, really sure?” he asked just to make it clear, and Juri nodded firmly. “But it was addressed to Ken-chan!”
“You’re not the only Ken-chan around here are you? Believe me, the letter was written by somebody else. Hopefully… hopefully for somebody else, too.” Juri pointed out and then fell serious again. “Never mind. I mean, letter or not, I never thought you would…”
“That I would like you back?” Yasui suggested and enjoyed the way Juri’s eyelids fluttered down when Yasui slowly brushed his fingers across Juri’s neck and ear. “Me either. But I’ve been thinking about it ever since last night and, well. I don’t know.”
It was the truth; he was absolutely sure he wasn’t having a crush on Juri - yet. But he was definitely feeling something, and that something was strong enough to make him more than ready to give it a try.
His words had made a shadow of insecurity waver on Juri’s face and Yasui smiled at him as soothingly as he could.
“I don’t know what I’m feeling,” he repeated, “But I really liked the way you looked at me at the restaurant. And I… I realized I want you to keep looking at me like that all the time. I’m sure that would help me to fall for you a bit faster.”
“You mean--” Juri said slowly and Yasui interrupted him before he managed to continue.
“I mean,” he said with a wide grin, “That if you’d try to give me some Valentine Chocolate, I’d definitely accept it.”
It was a cheesy thing to say, Yasui thought, but not quite as bad as it could have been. And when Juri’s worried expression turned into a delighted smile that got Yasui’s breath caught in his throat he decided the feeling was definitely worth all the insecurities and hesitation.
The radiance of Juri’s smile made him feel warm and comfortable - and loved in the best possible way.
- - -
links to the other writers' tomochoco fics:
arashijun | faded-lace 1 2 3 | lady-michiru | mousapelli 1 2 3 | ohhai-yo | rikikomori | vflmaeuschen 1 2 | yomimashou
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