Who needs to feel
“Do you realize what this means?”
He watched the man closely as he lifted his head, face pale, hair a mess, tears still dripping steadily down his blank face.
The guy was wrecked.
Junmyeon felt nothing.
You see, Junmyeon has this uncanny ability to stop his emotions; he can feel nothing towards a person, even the one he loves the most, if he has to.
“Did you hear me?” Junmyeon asks, voice steady and light. “You’re being charged with the murder of your friend. Do you understand how serious this is?”
The man nods his head.
Man.
Junmyeon doesn’t even think he qualifies.
Oh Sehun is still, to Junmyeon, a child.
Freshly turned 19, Oh Sehun should have been in his afternoon Psychology class at the local college.
Instead, he sits across the table from Kim Junmyeon, one of the best (and youngest, at the age of 22) investigators in the district, accused of killing his closest friend.
Huang Zitao-Tao, to his friends-age 20, was found in the bathroom of the apartment Zitao and Sehun shared, body tangled in the shower curtains, neck mottled with purple bruises from the rope used to strangle him.
Tear tracks were still visible on Zitao’s cheeks.
The kicker?
Oh Sehun was the one who called the police, hands still red from the rope.
Something that should be noted: Oh Sehun and Huang Zitao were in a sexual relationship at the time of Zitao’s death.
Sehun had claimed that he and Zitao had been having sex since they first got the apartment over a year and a half ago, when neither were in an actual relationship, of course.
“How did it start?” Junmyeon had asked, and Sehun’s eyes shone with fresh tears.
“We were bored and Tao always liked trying new things.” Was his explanation.
Junmyeon had pushed for more, but Sehun wouldn’t go farther than to say that the rope used to strangle Tao was strictly for the sex; bondage rope.
Their friends-with-benefits relationship had no emotions attached, or so Sehun claimed. They loved each other, but only as friends.
“I didn’t kill him!” Sehun had screamed as they put him in handcuffs, eyes wild, voice cracking with strain and emotion as he twisted in the officer’s grasp, trying to grab one last glimpse of his friend. “Tao! Wake up! Wake up!!!”
-
“Wake up.”
Junmyeon groaned, rolling over to smash his face into his other half’s warm chest, a chuckle reaching his ears.
“You have to wake up. You’re going to be late.” Came the low, warm voice he’d fallen in love with years ago.
“Five more minutes.” Junmyeon whined, curving into the warmth of the other’s side. “Please, Yifan?”
His eyes snapped open when Yifan manhandled him onto his back, settling between his legs.
“What are you doing?” He gasped when the older tugged his boxers off, hand immediately wrapping around his already hardening cock.
“Waking you up.” Yifan said innocently, before dipping his head down to take Junmyeon into his mouth.
Yes, Junmyeon thought as he ran both hands through Yifan’s hair, arching his back with a low groan as the older dipped his tongue into Junmyeon’s slit, he could definitely get used to waking up like this.
Forty-five minutes later (showering together takes longer when hands do more than wash each other clean), they’re sitting in the kitchen, eating a simple breakfast of eggs and toast, coffee brewing on the counter.
“What time do you think you’ll be home?” Yifan asks, grabbing Junmyeon’s empty plate to dump them in the sink.
Yifan was a freelance writer, currently in between assignments (“The last one sucked the life out of me, asshat, I deserve a vacation.” He had claimed two weeks ago when he informed Junmyeon he would be taking a month-long break. He did well enough to do that.)
Junmyeon pouted at the older on his way out the door, Yifan smiling widely and kissing the frown away as he shoved him out the door.
“Meet me for lunch?” Junmyeon asked, reaching out to tug at the hem of Yifan’s shirt.
“Can’t today.” Yifan said apologetically. “I’m meeting up with Yixing and Kyungsoo to talk about…stuff…”
Junmyeon arched a brow.
“Stuff?” he asked, voice teasing. “Wu Yifan. Are you cheating on me in a hot threesome with our attractive friends?”
“Maybe.” Yifan said seriously, eyes twinkling. “You mad?”
“Only because you didn’t invite me.” Junmyeon grinned. “You know I’ve always wanted to see how big Kyungsoo’s eyes can get.”
Yifan barked out a laugh.
“God, is it bad if I didn’t know you, I would think you were serious?” he asked, pulling Junmyeon forward by the tie to kiss him one last time. “Get going.”
“Going, going.” Junmyeon laughed. “Tell Yixing and Kyungsoo I said hello!”
“Will do.” Yifan smiled, and oh how Junmyeon loved his smile.
He always let himself feel when he was with Yifan; he would never shut himself down around him.
Junmyeon always looks back at least once, making sure Yifan is still standing there until he drives away
He doesn’t know what he’d do if Yifan wasn’t there.
-
“How are you today, Sehun?” Junmyeon asks, smiling gently at the younger.
Sehun stays silent, staring at his hands in his lap.
“So we’re going to start where we did last time, ok-“
“I don’t know who killed him.” Sehun says, voice hoarse. “It wasn’t me.”
Junmyeon sighs, leaning forward slightly.
“Sehun. It doesn’t make any sense.” Junmyeon sighs. “You both were in bed, Zitao got up to use the bathroom, you fell asleep before he came back, you wake up and he’s dead. Do you know how strange it sounds that you were less than twelve feet from him, and yet you heard nothing?”
“I know how it fucking sounds.” Sehun hisses, eyes blazing. “But it’s the truth!”
Junmyeon falls silent as Sehun’s chin starts to tremble.
“I would never have hurt Tao.” The younger whispers, wiping a stray tear away angrily. “He was my family. I cared about him.”
They sit there in silence for a few minutes, watching each other.
“Are you hungry?” Junmyeon finally asks. “They said you haven’t been eating.”
Sehun snorts.
“My best friend was strangled three days ago, and I’m the main suspect in his murder. No. I’m not really hungry.” He laughs, the sound hollow.
“Look at me.” Junmyeon says quietly.
Sehun flicks his eyes up, confused.
The younger squirms, but doesn’t break eye contact as Junmyeon searches his eyes.
“I think I can pull some strings.” Junmyeon finally says, and Sehun’s eyes widen. “You will still be under arrest, technically, but you won’t be sitting in a cell for 23 hours out of the day.”
“How?” Sehun asks, frowning.
“There are circumstances where an inmate can live in an apartment. A locked down apartment.” Junmyeon says. “Which means that there are security cameras and security guards at every possible exit, and you will wear an ankle monitor at all times to ensure you don’t escape.”
“So I’ll be trading one cage for another.” Sehun mutters, but his brow furrows in thought. “You can do that, though?”
“I can try.” Junmyeon said.
“Are there cameras inside the apartment?” Sehun asks. “Because I don’t think I want-“
“There are no cameras inside.” Junmyeon said. “Only outside. And only ok’d guests can be allowed to visit. Do you have-“
“No.” Sehun says softly. “Tao was the only one who-no. I have no one.”
If Junmyeon let himself, his heart would have ached at the look of pure grief on Oh Sehun’s face, but, Junmyeon knew better.
“I’ll see what I can do.” He says as he’s leaving.
Sehun just watches him, nodding slightly.
Junmyeon glances back before the doors close.
Sehun is still watching him.
-
As soon as the doors shut behind them, Junmyeon can see the tension melt from Sehun’s shoulders, ever so slightly.
“Welcome to your home until further notice.” Junmyeon spreads his arms, gesturing to the small apartment.
“Thank you. For doing this.” Sehun says, a little shyly, Junmyeon notices as the younger’s eyes flicker between the ground and Junmyeon.
“Unlike the others,” Junmyeon says, “I take the whole ‘innocent until proven guilty’ thing seriously.”
“And I’m so glad you do.” Sehun chuckles weakly.
Junmyeon smiles, patting the younger on the back.
“Do you need help getting settled?” Junmyeon asked, watching Sehun poke around.
“No. I don’t have much anyway.” Sehun said, giving Junmyeon a small smile. “You should get home. Your wife must be worried.”
Sehun watches with wide eyes as Junmyeon throws his head back in laughter.
“Sorry.” Junmyeon grins. “It’s just…my husband knows how my work is. He stopped worrying a long time ago.”
Sehun flushes deep red, stuttering out an apology.
“It’s just…your ring…” Sehun trails off. Junmyeon hums in understanding.
“My husband, Yifan. He’s originally from Canada. That’s where we got married. We’re not technically married here.” Junmyeon smiles a soft smile, remembering the many hours spent in their hotel room…
“Junmyeon?” Sehun calls out from the bedroom.
“What is it?” Junmyeon asks as he walks closer.
“How long will I be here.” Sehun asks, stepping from the room.
Junmyeon’s eyes widen when he sees Sehun’s shirtless, eyes taking in the long expanse of soft, pale skin.
It’s then he remembers that Oh Sehun, at the age of 19, has probably had kinkier, rougher, wilder sex than Junmyeon has since…well, since he and Kris had their “honeymoon”.
He clears his throat as Sehun pulls a clean shirt over his head, eyes watching him expectantly.
“Depends.” Junmyeon shrugs. “How long it’ll take to gather evidence against you, or for your defense. Honestly, Sehun, you can be put away just because of your relationship with Tao and the fact that you were there.”
He can hear Sehun’s breath hitch.
“They can say that you got jealous or angry when Tao decided he wanted to stop whatever it is you two had. Maybe he’d met someone? Maybe you were getting too attached? They’ll come up with any excuse in the book, Sehun. And they will. Especially if this drags on too long and they can’t find any evidential proof against you.”
Junmyeon’s eyes widen and he steps forward to place a steadying hand on Sehun’s elbow as the younger sways slightly.
“Go lay down.” He says, pushing Sehun into the bedroom gently. “Get some rest. I’ll be back tomorrow.”
Sehun only nods, face pale and the tension back in his shoulders.
“Don’t think about that, though.” Junmyeon says as Sehun sits at the edge of the bed. “For now, just concentrate on getting as much sleep as possible.”
“Thank you, again.” Sehun mutters, glancing up at Junmyeon, who merely smiles and nods, turning around to leave.
He pauses at the door, unsure if Sehun had wanted him to hear his whispered words or not.
“Your husband is a very lucky man.”
-
“Welcome home.” Yifan calls out when Junmyeon walks through the door.
“Did you have that hot threesome I’ve been fantasizing about all day?” Junmyeon waggles his eyebrows at the older, who rolls his eyes with a snort.
“Yeah.” Yifan laughs lightly, turning to place a slow kiss on Junmyeon’s lips. “You missed our hot discussion about Kyungsoo’s latest complaints about his new assistant, and Yixing forgetting about his and Jongdae’s dinner reservations for their anniversary.”
Junmyeon just laughed, wrapping his hand around Yifan’s neck to hold him close, dinner going cold on the stove as the kisses got longer and needier.
“Rough day?” Yifan manages to ask when they break for air, voice rough and full of promise.
“Sort of.” Junmyeon says, taking Yifan’s bottom lip between his teeth and tugging gently; heat flashing through him at the low growl the older releases.
“Can dinner wait?” Junmyeon asks, hands reaching for the top button of Yifan’s shirt.
“We can reheat it.” Yifan says, pushing Junmyeon back until his ass is digging into the table.
Tonight, Yifan fucks Junmyeon fast and hard, legs over the older’s shoulders as the table creaks dangerously with each thrust.
As Junmyeon runs a hand down Yifan’s sturdy chest, pale, soft skin flashes through his head, along with a pouty, pink mouth.
His eyes flutter shut and his back arches as he cums, calling out Yifan’s name as white strings spurt onto his and Yifan’s chest; some even gets on the table.
He wraps his legs around Yifan’s waist to pull him as deep as possible when the older cums with a long groan into Junmyeon’s shoulder, body shaking with each spasm.
Junmyeon runs a hand through Yifan’s hair, tugging his head back enough for Junmyeon to kiss Yifan hungrily.
“God.” He chuckles. “How is it I never get tired of this.”
It’s not a question, really, but the smug look that passes over Yifan’s face makes it even better.
“Because I love you.” Yifan murmurs before pressing his lips to Junmyeon’s.
Later, Junmyeon is hit with guilt when he remembers that he came with Oh Sehun’s pretty face on his mind, but Yifan’s name on his lips.
-
Junmyeon starts to spend more and more time at Sehun’s apartment, going over every minute detail that Sehun is able to recall about the night Zitao died.
After two weeks, Sehun snaps.
“I already fucking told you everything I fucking know!” He yells at Junmyeon, who’s tugging at his hair in frustration. “What the fuck do you want from me??”
“Something more than what you’ve been giving!” Junmyeon snaps back.
Sehun stares at him, taking in a deep, shuddery breath, before he bursts into tears.
Junmyeon watches, uneasy, as the younger crumples onto the couch.
With each day spent with Sehun, Junmyeon has grown more and more sure that Sehun has nothing to do with Zitao’s death.
And with each day, Junmyeon grows more fond of the younger, and starts to let himself feel.
“Hey.” Junmyeon says softly, moving to sit next to Sehun, wrapping his arms around the young man and rubbing his back soothingly. “You’re fine. It’ll be okay.”
Sehun leans into his touch, pressing his face into the crook of Junmyeon’s neck.
They sit in silence as Sehun calms down.
Somewhere between Sehun pulling away and Junmyeon standing up, lines are crossed.
Dangerous lines that should never be crossed.
Sehun’s mouth is soft and insistent against his own, tongue darting out to lick at the seam of Junmyeon’s lips, which part far too easily, Junmyeon thinks in the back of his head.
But oh, Sehun’s licking into his mouth like Junmyeon has a secret buried in there that Sehun just has to find.
He pauses when a whine sounds in the back of Junmyeon’s throat, lips swollen and slick.
Junmyeon’s control is nowhere to be found as he lets Sehun press him into the bed, rolling his hips down to pull whines and pleas from the older’s mouth.
“I can’t!” Junmyeon moans. “Yi-“
Sehun shuts him up by pressing two fingers into him quickly, the slide made easier by a thick coating of lube.
Junmyeon’s back arches and a half-sob escapes his lips as Sehun’s fingers quickly find his prostate and attack it with vigor, the older writhing into the mattress as his hips buck up for more.
And Sehun gives him so much more.
Huang Zitao must have taught Oh Sehun so much in their time together, because Junmyeon has never been fucked like this.
Sehun has his hands spreading Junmyeon’s thighs to the point of discomfort, pushing him into the bed deep and slow, cock sliding against his prostate with each push.
Junmyeon is so hard it aches, precum smearing against his abdomen, but Sehun smacks his hand away each time he reaches to wrap a hand around himself.
He’s so close, and Sehun is so good.
Junmyeon opens his eyes, and he cums harder than he has in years when he sees, not Oh Sehun sweating over him, brow furrowed in concentration, but Yifan.
His Yifan.
The one he loves most in this world.
-
Sehun doesn’t speak as he watches Junmyeon race around, gathering his clothes and babbling, tears streaming down his face.
“I’m sorry.” He whispers, squeezing his eyes shut. “I’m so sorry. I didn’t…mean for this…your husband…I’m so fucking sorry. I’ll tell him it was my fault, I forced you. I am so sorry.”
Junmyeon stops, trying to compose himself as he shoots Sehun a watery smile, a sob bursting out of him.
“It’s not all your fault.” He says, voice shaking and cracking. “I didn’t push you away I-I have to go. I’ll see you later.”
He bolts as soon as he has all his things.
His hands are shaking badly on the drive home.
Junmyeon knows what he has to do.
He knows.
He’s so fucking afraid.
-
Yifan turns to greet him, smile dropping and face paling as he takes in Junmyeon’s trembling form, tears sliding down his face freely.
“Fuck.” Yifan breathes, striding over to pull Junmyeon into his arms. “What happened? Junmyeon, talk to me. What-“
Junmyeon cries harder when he feels Yifan stiffen, and he knows Yifan must smell him-Oh Sehun-on Junmyeon.
“Yifan.” Junmyeon sobs. “Yifan. Yifan.”
His heart is breaking as he looks up at the older, whose face is blank.
“I’m so sorry.” Junmyeon clutches at Yifan’s shirt. “So sorry. I’m so sorry. Yifan. I’m sorry.”
“Do you love him?” Yifan asks flatly, still watching with those blank eyes. “Is that why-“
“No!” Junmyeon shakes his head frantically. “I-you were-it was only you. I only saw you. I couldn’t-not while he was-it was only you. Yifan.”
Yifan nods once, and when Junmyeon looks back up, Yifan’s walking out the door.
Junmyeon thinks, this must be what dying feels like.
--
Four days.
It’s been four days since Yifan left.
Four days since he’s heard from him.
Junmyeon hasn’t been in to work, calling in sick, refusing to answer the door when his and Yifan’s friends Baekhyun and Jongin come to pound on the door and yell at him to open up.
Junmyeon hasn’t eaten since Yifan left, any thought of food has him running to the bathroom to heave over the toilet, stomach constricting painfully as it tries to force up anything.
He showers and then sits on the living room floor, back pressed against the couch as he stares at nothing, mind and body numb.
Baekhyun is back, this time, it sounds like he brought Kyungsoo.
“Please, Junmyeon!” Baekhyun calls out. “Let us in! We’re so worried about you!”
“Yifan is worried!” Kyungsoo calls out, and the sound of his name has Junmyeon pressing his hands over his ears, trying to block out everything.
“Junmyeon!” Kyungsoo cries, pounding on the door, getting no response in return.
He hears their voices, high-pitched with concern, going back and forth before they finally leave.
Everything hurts.
Junmyeon just wants everything to stop hurting.
He knows he can shut his emotions off.
But he deserves this pain.
-
It’s another three days before Yifan steps back into the too silent apartment, Kyungsoo and his assistant, Chanyeol, waiting by the door.
Yifan takes one look at the bundle on the living room floor, barely moving, before he’s screaming for Kyungsoo to call an ambulance.
“Junmyeon!” He pleads, pulling the younger into his arms. “Wake up! Please!”
He touches Junmyeon’s face; so pale and haggard.
Junmyeon is still breathing, but just barely, and he feels so weak in Yifan’s arms.
“Please, Junmyeon.” Yifan whispers, pressing his lips against the younger’s forehead. “You have to. Wake up.”
-
Wake up.
Junmyeon’s eyes flutter open against the bright lights, wheezing with each exhale.
“Junmyeon…”
His eyes instantly fill with tears at the sound of that voice.
His voice.
“Don’t cry. Stop it, Junmyeon.” Yifan murmurs, leaning close to press soft kisses into Junmyeon’s hand. “No more crying. Stop.”
Junmyeon’s staring at the older now, wide eyes spilling tears as he tries to speak, voice raw from disuse and from screaming his pain into his pillow.
“Sorry, so sorry.” Junmyeon rasps out, voice breaking multiple times. “Yifan. YifanYifan. I love you. So much. So much.”
“Stop talking.” Yifan mutters, and Junmyeon shakes his head quickly.
“I hurt you. So bad. I’m sorry. I love you. Only you.” He sobs.
“Stop talking.” Yifan snaps, and then bites his lip when he sees Junmyeon flinch. He rubs soothing circles into the back of Junmyeon’s hand. “You’ll hurt your throat.”
“I don’t care.” Junmyeon whispers. “I deserve it. Everything. You need better. Find someone better.”
“I don’t want someone better.” Yifan breathes, bending over, forehead pressed against Junmyeon’s. “Just you. I will only ever want you.”
Junmyeon’s heart breaks again when Yifan presses the most gentle kiss against his lips.
Yifan takes each apology Junmyeon whispers against his lips and lets it soothe the ragged, burning edges of the pain that tore through them.
He could never walk away from Junmyeon.
Yifan would always turn back to look for him.
Just like Junmyeon’s always done for him.
-
“You’re back.” Sehun stands quickly, walking over to look Junmyeon over. “I heard that-I’m so sorry.”
Junmyeon, still pale and weak, gives Sehun a small smile.
“It’s over and done with.” Junmyeon says, patting Sehun on the arm. “It’s all over.”
Sehun’s eyes widen at the double meaning.
“Wait-you mean-what’s happened??” He stutters out. “You and your husband didn’t-no! You can’t-I’ll call him and-“
“Yifan and I are…not entirely fine…but we’re ok.” Junmyeon cuts in. “We still have a lot of things to talk about…but we’re still…anyway. That’s not why I’m here.”
Sehun watches as Junmyeon pulls out a manila envelope from his bag.
“What are those.” Sehun asks as Junmyeon starts pulling out pictures, swallowing hard and looking away when Zitao’s face pops up.
“Look at them, Sehun.” Junmyeon says. “Look closely. Tell me what you see.”
Sehun takes a deep breath and looks.
“What do you see?” Junmyeon asks, watching Sehun’s face closely.
“Zitao….” Sehun breathes, fingers trailing over the picture slowly, throat closing up, “My Tao…”
“Look, goddamnit!” Junmyeon barks, startling the younger. “Take a good look!”
So Sehun does.
He starts at Tao’s eyes; those beautiful eyes staring blankly back at him. He hastily wipes away a tear that falls.
His own eyes fall to Tao’s mouth; that mouth he kissed, lips he bit at until they were swollen and parted underneath his tongue.
A sob escapes him as he takes in the face he loved so much.
Oh Sehun had lied when he said he was only in it for the sex.
Oh Sehun had fallen in love with Huang Zitao long ago.
He opened his mouth to ask what he was supposed to be looking for when something caught his eye.
“That…” Sehun breathed pointing at a dark mark on Zitao’s shoulder. “Tao never had that.”
“They found a tattoo on Zitao’s body, Sehun.” Junmyeon says carefully. “It was of a dragon.”
Sehun’s head snaps up, eyes burning.
“Tao never had a tattoo.” He whispers.
Junmyeon’s eyebrows raise.
“Are you sure?” He asks, and he’s taken aback by the fierce look in Sehun’s eyes.
“I loved him.” Sehun said, voice confident and steady. “There was one night when we…I spent so long, running my hands over every inch of skin on his body, memorizing him…Zitao never had a tattoo.”
Junmyeon nods slowly as a flush takes over Sehun’s face, the younger looking away quickly.
“This.” Sehun points at the picture of the dead man. “Is not my Tao.”
“Good, Sehun.” Junmyeon says, pulling out his phone. “You’ve done so well.”
“What’s going on?” Sehun asks, but Junmyeon has the phone to his ear.
Sehun watches with wide eyes as Junmyeon barks out orders into his phone. It feels like hours before the older hangs up.
“They did a test on Zitao’s body and compared it to a sample of the semen,” Sehun flushes deeper, “found on your bedsheets.” Junmyeon explains.
“What about it?” Sehun asks.
Junmyeon pauses, lifting his eyes to Sehun’s.
“That man in the tub was not your Huang Zitao.”
-
“His name is Huang Zhouli.”
“Who is he?” Sehun whispers. “He looks so much like my Tao.”
“Did you know Zitao had a twin brother?” Junmyeon asks, and Sehun shakes his head. “Zhouli and Zitao were separated when they were first born. Zitao lived with his real family, Zhouli to an orphanage.”
“Why?” Sehun asks, face still pale and eyes still swimming in confusion. Junmyeon shrugged.
“Their family could only afford one child. It was only luck that put Zitao with his family.”
“Where is he?” Sehun asks suddenly. “Where is Zitao? Is he dead, too? Why is Zhouli dead? What is happening?”
“Zhouli fell in with a drug ring while he was living in China. When they caught on he was stealing from them, he left the country.” Junmyeon smiled wryly. “We’re guessing he was hoping that Zitao would help him.”
“Where. Is. Zitao.” Sehun grits out, hands clenching into fists.
“Zhouli and Zitao had been meeting several times; Zhouli would sometimes sneak into your apartment while you were out. Zitao was helping him put his life together.” Junmyeon continued, ignoring the younger.
He raised a hand, stopping Sehun from interrupting.
“Zhouli was followed, Sehun. He snuck in to your apartment that night, asking Zitao for help. The guys following Zhouli were right behind him; they got into your apartment.”
“How…I was right there.” Sehun breathes. “How did I not know?”
“Zitao…took precautions.” Junmyeon says. “Did you drink anything before you fell asleep?”
Sehun shook his head.
“No…” He mutters. “Noth…”
His head snaps up.
“Zitao gave me the rest of his tea.” He says, searching Junmyeon’s face. “Did he put something in it?”
Junmyeon smiles and gives a small nod.
“He wanted to make sure you were out of the way, Sehun. The men were after Zhouli, nothing else. They didn’t search the apartment, or else they would’ve found you.”
Sehun shudders slightly, but enough for Junmyeon to notice.
“They found Zhouli, of course.” Sehun muttered. He gazed up at Junmyeon, eyes pleading. “Where is Zitao, Junmyeon? Please?”
Junmyeon smiles gently and shakes his head, reaching over to squeeze Sehun’s arm slightly as the younger let out a strangled sob.
“This is the last time we’ll meet, Sehun.” Junmyeon says, standing.
“Thank you.” Sehun whispers, despite the tears streaming down his face. “For everything. I’m so sorry for…”
“Forget about it.” Junmyeon says. “Live your life, Oh Sehun. Be happy, got it?”
Sehun nods, arms wrapped around himself as he tries to hold himself together.
Junmyeon hesitates, but pulls the younger into a quick hug, squeezing tightly before letting go.
“It’ll all be all right, yeah?” He says softly. “Good-bye, Oh Sehun.”
He leaves 19 year old Oh Sehun-the young man who’s spent the last month and a half on lockdown-on the couch, a free man, but completely caged in by the fact he lost the one he loves the most.
-
Junmyeon bumps into someone when he hangs up with Yifan, letting the older know he’s coming home (“Can we take a vacation together?” He’d asked, and Yifan’s soft laughter was music to his ears).
“I’m sor-“ Junmyeon trails off when the man turns to him.
They stare at each other for what feels like forever, but what can’t be more than a few seconds.
The intense gaze under raven hair cuts through him like a knife.
“Is he safe?” The man asks, voice soft, but firm. “Is he free?”
“Yes.” Junmyeon says. “I didn’t tell him. He’s still inside and he’s a mess. He needs you.”
The man nods, turning to walk away.
“He was in love with you.” Junmyeon calls after him. “Treat him well, Huang Zitao.”
Zitao stops.
“I know.” He says. “I fell in love with him first.”
Junmyeon watches him walk away.
He smile stretches wide across his face when he hears a loud wail and Oh Sehun’s voice chanting his Tao’s name over and over again.
-
Yifan is waiting for him when he gets home.
Junmyeon walks straight towards him, leaning up on his tiptoes to run his fingers through the older’s soft hair and tug him down for a searing kiss.
“I love you.” He breathes, feeling Yifan smile against his lips.
“Welcome home, Junmyeon.”
He watched the man closely as he lifted his head, face pale, hair a mess, tears still dripping steadily down his blank face.
The guy was wrecked.
Junmyeon felt nothing.
You see, Junmyeon has this uncanny ability to stop his emotions; he can feel nothing towards a person, even the one he loves the most, if he has to.
“Did you hear me?” Junmyeon asks, voice steady and light. “You’re being charged with the murder of your friend. Do you understand how serious this is?”
The man nods his head.
Man.
Junmyeon doesn’t even think he qualifies.
Oh Sehun is still, to Junmyeon, a child.
Freshly turned 19, Oh Sehun should have been in his afternoon Psychology class at the local college.
Instead, he sits across the table from Kim Junmyeon, one of the best (and youngest, at the age of 22) investigators in the district, accused of killing his closest friend.
Huang Zitao-Tao, to his friends-age 20, was found in the bathroom of the apartment Zitao and Sehun shared, body tangled in the shower curtains, neck mottled with purple bruises from the rope used to strangle him.
Tear tracks were still visible on Zitao’s cheeks.
The kicker?
Oh Sehun was the one who called the police, hands still red from the rope.
Something that should be noted: Oh Sehun and Huang Zitao were in a sexual relationship at the time of Zitao’s death.
Sehun had claimed that he and Zitao had been having sex since they first got the apartment over a year and a half ago, when neither were in an actual relationship, of course.
“How did it start?” Junmyeon had asked, and Sehun’s eyes shone with fresh tears.
“We were bored and Tao always liked trying new things.” Was his explanation.
Junmyeon had pushed for more, but Sehun wouldn’t go farther than to say that the rope used to strangle Tao was strictly for the sex; bondage rope.
Their friends-with-benefits relationship had no emotions attached, or so Sehun claimed. They loved each other, but only as friends.
“I didn’t kill him!” Sehun had screamed as they put him in handcuffs, eyes wild, voice cracking with strain and emotion as he twisted in the officer’s grasp, trying to grab one last glimpse of his friend. “Tao! Wake up! Wake up!!!”
-
“Wake up.”
Junmyeon groaned, rolling over to smash his face into his other half’s warm chest, a chuckle reaching his ears.
“You have to wake up. You’re going to be late.” Came the low, warm voice he’d fallen in love with years ago.
“Five more minutes.” Junmyeon whined, curving into the warmth of the other’s side. “Please, Yifan?”
His eyes snapped open when Yifan manhandled him onto his back, settling between his legs.
“What are you doing?” He gasped when the older tugged his boxers off, hand immediately wrapping around his already hardening cock.
“Waking you up.” Yifan said innocently, before dipping his head down to take Junmyeon into his mouth.
Yes, Junmyeon thought as he ran both hands through Yifan’s hair, arching his back with a low groan as the older dipped his tongue into Junmyeon’s slit, he could definitely get used to waking up like this.
Forty-five minutes later (showering together takes longer when hands do more than wash each other clean), they’re sitting in the kitchen, eating a simple breakfast of eggs and toast, coffee brewing on the counter.
“What time do you think you’ll be home?” Yifan asks, grabbing Junmyeon’s empty plate to dump them in the sink.
Yifan was a freelance writer, currently in between assignments (“The last one sucked the life out of me, asshat, I deserve a vacation.” He had claimed two weeks ago when he informed Junmyeon he would be taking a month-long break. He did well enough to do that.)
Junmyeon pouted at the older on his way out the door, Yifan smiling widely and kissing the frown away as he shoved him out the door.
“Meet me for lunch?” Junmyeon asked, reaching out to tug at the hem of Yifan’s shirt.
“Can’t today.” Yifan said apologetically. “I’m meeting up with Yixing and Kyungsoo to talk about…stuff…”
Junmyeon arched a brow.
“Stuff?” he asked, voice teasing. “Wu Yifan. Are you cheating on me in a hot threesome with our attractive friends?”
“Maybe.” Yifan said seriously, eyes twinkling. “You mad?”
“Only because you didn’t invite me.” Junmyeon grinned. “You know I’ve always wanted to see how big Kyungsoo’s eyes can get.”
Yifan barked out a laugh.
“God, is it bad if I didn’t know you, I would think you were serious?” he asked, pulling Junmyeon forward by the tie to kiss him one last time. “Get going.”
“Going, going.” Junmyeon laughed. “Tell Yixing and Kyungsoo I said hello!”
“Will do.” Yifan smiled, and oh how Junmyeon loved his smile.
He always let himself feel when he was with Yifan; he would never shut himself down around him.
Junmyeon always looks back at least once, making sure Yifan is still standing there until he drives away
He doesn’t know what he’d do if Yifan wasn’t there.
-
“How are you today, Sehun?” Junmyeon asks, smiling gently at the younger.
Sehun stays silent, staring at his hands in his lap.
“So we’re going to start where we did last time, ok-“
“I don’t know who killed him.” Sehun says, voice hoarse. “It wasn’t me.”
Junmyeon sighs, leaning forward slightly.
“Sehun. It doesn’t make any sense.” Junmyeon sighs. “You both were in bed, Zitao got up to use the bathroom, you fell asleep before he came back, you wake up and he’s dead. Do you know how strange it sounds that you were less than twelve feet from him, and yet you heard nothing?”
“I know how it fucking sounds.” Sehun hisses, eyes blazing. “But it’s the truth!”
Junmyeon falls silent as Sehun’s chin starts to tremble.
“I would never have hurt Tao.” The younger whispers, wiping a stray tear away angrily. “He was my family. I cared about him.”
They sit there in silence for a few minutes, watching each other.
“Are you hungry?” Junmyeon finally asks. “They said you haven’t been eating.”
Sehun snorts.
“My best friend was strangled three days ago, and I’m the main suspect in his murder. No. I’m not really hungry.” He laughs, the sound hollow.
“Look at me.” Junmyeon says quietly.
Sehun flicks his eyes up, confused.
The younger squirms, but doesn’t break eye contact as Junmyeon searches his eyes.
“I think I can pull some strings.” Junmyeon finally says, and Sehun’s eyes widen. “You will still be under arrest, technically, but you won’t be sitting in a cell for 23 hours out of the day.”
“How?” Sehun asks, frowning.
“There are circumstances where an inmate can live in an apartment. A locked down apartment.” Junmyeon says. “Which means that there are security cameras and security guards at every possible exit, and you will wear an ankle monitor at all times to ensure you don’t escape.”
“So I’ll be trading one cage for another.” Sehun mutters, but his brow furrows in thought. “You can do that, though?”
“I can try.” Junmyeon said.
“Are there cameras inside the apartment?” Sehun asks. “Because I don’t think I want-“
“There are no cameras inside.” Junmyeon said. “Only outside. And only ok’d guests can be allowed to visit. Do you have-“
“No.” Sehun says softly. “Tao was the only one who-no. I have no one.”
If Junmyeon let himself, his heart would have ached at the look of pure grief on Oh Sehun’s face, but, Junmyeon knew better.
“I’ll see what I can do.” He says as he’s leaving.
Sehun just watches him, nodding slightly.
Junmyeon glances back before the doors close.
Sehun is still watching him.
-
As soon as the doors shut behind them, Junmyeon can see the tension melt from Sehun’s shoulders, ever so slightly.
“Welcome to your home until further notice.” Junmyeon spreads his arms, gesturing to the small apartment.
“Thank you. For doing this.” Sehun says, a little shyly, Junmyeon notices as the younger’s eyes flicker between the ground and Junmyeon.
“Unlike the others,” Junmyeon says, “I take the whole ‘innocent until proven guilty’ thing seriously.”
“And I’m so glad you do.” Sehun chuckles weakly.
Junmyeon smiles, patting the younger on the back.
“Do you need help getting settled?” Junmyeon asked, watching Sehun poke around.
“No. I don’t have much anyway.” Sehun said, giving Junmyeon a small smile. “You should get home. Your wife must be worried.”
Sehun watches with wide eyes as Junmyeon throws his head back in laughter.
“Sorry.” Junmyeon grins. “It’s just…my husband knows how my work is. He stopped worrying a long time ago.”
Sehun flushes deep red, stuttering out an apology.
“It’s just…your ring…” Sehun trails off. Junmyeon hums in understanding.
“My husband, Yifan. He’s originally from Canada. That’s where we got married. We’re not technically married here.” Junmyeon smiles a soft smile, remembering the many hours spent in their hotel room…
“Junmyeon?” Sehun calls out from the bedroom.
“What is it?” Junmyeon asks as he walks closer.
“How long will I be here.” Sehun asks, stepping from the room.
Junmyeon’s eyes widen when he sees Sehun’s shirtless, eyes taking in the long expanse of soft, pale skin.
It’s then he remembers that Oh Sehun, at the age of 19, has probably had kinkier, rougher, wilder sex than Junmyeon has since…well, since he and Kris had their “honeymoon”.
He clears his throat as Sehun pulls a clean shirt over his head, eyes watching him expectantly.
“Depends.” Junmyeon shrugs. “How long it’ll take to gather evidence against you, or for your defense. Honestly, Sehun, you can be put away just because of your relationship with Tao and the fact that you were there.”
He can hear Sehun’s breath hitch.
“They can say that you got jealous or angry when Tao decided he wanted to stop whatever it is you two had. Maybe he’d met someone? Maybe you were getting too attached? They’ll come up with any excuse in the book, Sehun. And they will. Especially if this drags on too long and they can’t find any evidential proof against you.”
Junmyeon’s eyes widen and he steps forward to place a steadying hand on Sehun’s elbow as the younger sways slightly.
“Go lay down.” He says, pushing Sehun into the bedroom gently. “Get some rest. I’ll be back tomorrow.”
Sehun only nods, face pale and the tension back in his shoulders.
“Don’t think about that, though.” Junmyeon says as Sehun sits at the edge of the bed. “For now, just concentrate on getting as much sleep as possible.”
“Thank you, again.” Sehun mutters, glancing up at Junmyeon, who merely smiles and nods, turning around to leave.
He pauses at the door, unsure if Sehun had wanted him to hear his whispered words or not.
“Your husband is a very lucky man.”
-
“Welcome home.” Yifan calls out when Junmyeon walks through the door.
“Did you have that hot threesome I’ve been fantasizing about all day?” Junmyeon waggles his eyebrows at the older, who rolls his eyes with a snort.
“Yeah.” Yifan laughs lightly, turning to place a slow kiss on Junmyeon’s lips. “You missed our hot discussion about Kyungsoo’s latest complaints about his new assistant, and Yixing forgetting about his and Jongdae’s dinner reservations for their anniversary.”
Junmyeon just laughed, wrapping his hand around Yifan’s neck to hold him close, dinner going cold on the stove as the kisses got longer and needier.
“Rough day?” Yifan manages to ask when they break for air, voice rough and full of promise.
“Sort of.” Junmyeon says, taking Yifan’s bottom lip between his teeth and tugging gently; heat flashing through him at the low growl the older releases.
“Can dinner wait?” Junmyeon asks, hands reaching for the top button of Yifan’s shirt.
“We can reheat it.” Yifan says, pushing Junmyeon back until his ass is digging into the table.
Tonight, Yifan fucks Junmyeon fast and hard, legs over the older’s shoulders as the table creaks dangerously with each thrust.
As Junmyeon runs a hand down Yifan’s sturdy chest, pale, soft skin flashes through his head, along with a pouty, pink mouth.
His eyes flutter shut and his back arches as he cums, calling out Yifan’s name as white strings spurt onto his and Yifan’s chest; some even gets on the table.
He wraps his legs around Yifan’s waist to pull him as deep as possible when the older cums with a long groan into Junmyeon’s shoulder, body shaking with each spasm.
Junmyeon runs a hand through Yifan’s hair, tugging his head back enough for Junmyeon to kiss Yifan hungrily.
“God.” He chuckles. “How is it I never get tired of this.”
It’s not a question, really, but the smug look that passes over Yifan’s face makes it even better.
“Because I love you.” Yifan murmurs before pressing his lips to Junmyeon’s.
Later, Junmyeon is hit with guilt when he remembers that he came with Oh Sehun’s pretty face on his mind, but Yifan’s name on his lips.
-
Junmyeon starts to spend more and more time at Sehun’s apartment, going over every minute detail that Sehun is able to recall about the night Zitao died.
After two weeks, Sehun snaps.
“I already fucking told you everything I fucking know!” He yells at Junmyeon, who’s tugging at his hair in frustration. “What the fuck do you want from me??”
“Something more than what you’ve been giving!” Junmyeon snaps back.
Sehun stares at him, taking in a deep, shuddery breath, before he bursts into tears.
Junmyeon watches, uneasy, as the younger crumples onto the couch.
With each day spent with Sehun, Junmyeon has grown more and more sure that Sehun has nothing to do with Zitao’s death.
And with each day, Junmyeon grows more fond of the younger, and starts to let himself feel.
“Hey.” Junmyeon says softly, moving to sit next to Sehun, wrapping his arms around the young man and rubbing his back soothingly. “You’re fine. It’ll be okay.”
Sehun leans into his touch, pressing his face into the crook of Junmyeon’s neck.
They sit in silence as Sehun calms down.
Somewhere between Sehun pulling away and Junmyeon standing up, lines are crossed.
Dangerous lines that should never be crossed.
Sehun’s mouth is soft and insistent against his own, tongue darting out to lick at the seam of Junmyeon’s lips, which part far too easily, Junmyeon thinks in the back of his head.
But oh, Sehun’s licking into his mouth like Junmyeon has a secret buried in there that Sehun just has to find.
He pauses when a whine sounds in the back of Junmyeon’s throat, lips swollen and slick.
Junmyeon’s control is nowhere to be found as he lets Sehun press him into the bed, rolling his hips down to pull whines and pleas from the older’s mouth.
“I can’t!” Junmyeon moans. “Yi-“
Sehun shuts him up by pressing two fingers into him quickly, the slide made easier by a thick coating of lube.
Junmyeon’s back arches and a half-sob escapes his lips as Sehun’s fingers quickly find his prostate and attack it with vigor, the older writhing into the mattress as his hips buck up for more.
And Sehun gives him so much more.
Huang Zitao must have taught Oh Sehun so much in their time together, because Junmyeon has never been fucked like this.
Sehun has his hands spreading Junmyeon’s thighs to the point of discomfort, pushing him into the bed deep and slow, cock sliding against his prostate with each push.
Junmyeon is so hard it aches, precum smearing against his abdomen, but Sehun smacks his hand away each time he reaches to wrap a hand around himself.
He’s so close, and Sehun is so good.
Junmyeon opens his eyes, and he cums harder than he has in years when he sees, not Oh Sehun sweating over him, brow furrowed in concentration, but Yifan.
His Yifan.
The one he loves most in this world.
-
Sehun doesn’t speak as he watches Junmyeon race around, gathering his clothes and babbling, tears streaming down his face.
“I’m sorry.” He whispers, squeezing his eyes shut. “I’m so sorry. I didn’t…mean for this…your husband…I’m so fucking sorry. I’ll tell him it was my fault, I forced you. I am so sorry.”
Junmyeon stops, trying to compose himself as he shoots Sehun a watery smile, a sob bursting out of him.
“It’s not all your fault.” He says, voice shaking and cracking. “I didn’t push you away I-I have to go. I’ll see you later.”
He bolts as soon as he has all his things.
His hands are shaking badly on the drive home.
Junmyeon knows what he has to do.
He knows.
He’s so fucking afraid.
-
Yifan turns to greet him, smile dropping and face paling as he takes in Junmyeon’s trembling form, tears sliding down his face freely.
“Fuck.” Yifan breathes, striding over to pull Junmyeon into his arms. “What happened? Junmyeon, talk to me. What-“
Junmyeon cries harder when he feels Yifan stiffen, and he knows Yifan must smell him-Oh Sehun-on Junmyeon.
“Yifan.” Junmyeon sobs. “Yifan. Yifan.”
His heart is breaking as he looks up at the older, whose face is blank.
“I’m so sorry.” Junmyeon clutches at Yifan’s shirt. “So sorry. I’m so sorry. Yifan. I’m sorry.”
“Do you love him?” Yifan asks flatly, still watching with those blank eyes. “Is that why-“
“No!” Junmyeon shakes his head frantically. “I-you were-it was only you. I only saw you. I couldn’t-not while he was-it was only you. Yifan.”
Yifan nods once, and when Junmyeon looks back up, Yifan’s walking out the door.
Junmyeon thinks, this must be what dying feels like.
--
Four days.
It’s been four days since Yifan left.
Four days since he’s heard from him.
Junmyeon hasn’t been in to work, calling in sick, refusing to answer the door when his and Yifan’s friends Baekhyun and Jongin come to pound on the door and yell at him to open up.
Junmyeon hasn’t eaten since Yifan left, any thought of food has him running to the bathroom to heave over the toilet, stomach constricting painfully as it tries to force up anything.
He showers and then sits on the living room floor, back pressed against the couch as he stares at nothing, mind and body numb.
Baekhyun is back, this time, it sounds like he brought Kyungsoo.
“Please, Junmyeon!” Baekhyun calls out. “Let us in! We’re so worried about you!”
“Yifan is worried!” Kyungsoo calls out, and the sound of his name has Junmyeon pressing his hands over his ears, trying to block out everything.
“Junmyeon!” Kyungsoo cries, pounding on the door, getting no response in return.
He hears their voices, high-pitched with concern, going back and forth before they finally leave.
Everything hurts.
Junmyeon just wants everything to stop hurting.
He knows he can shut his emotions off.
But he deserves this pain.
-
It’s another three days before Yifan steps back into the too silent apartment, Kyungsoo and his assistant, Chanyeol, waiting by the door.
Yifan takes one look at the bundle on the living room floor, barely moving, before he’s screaming for Kyungsoo to call an ambulance.
“Junmyeon!” He pleads, pulling the younger into his arms. “Wake up! Please!”
He touches Junmyeon’s face; so pale and haggard.
Junmyeon is still breathing, but just barely, and he feels so weak in Yifan’s arms.
“Please, Junmyeon.” Yifan whispers, pressing his lips against the younger’s forehead. “You have to. Wake up.”
-
Wake up.
Junmyeon’s eyes flutter open against the bright lights, wheezing with each exhale.
“Junmyeon…”
His eyes instantly fill with tears at the sound of that voice.
His voice.
“Don’t cry. Stop it, Junmyeon.” Yifan murmurs, leaning close to press soft kisses into Junmyeon’s hand. “No more crying. Stop.”
Junmyeon’s staring at the older now, wide eyes spilling tears as he tries to speak, voice raw from disuse and from screaming his pain into his pillow.
“Sorry, so sorry.” Junmyeon rasps out, voice breaking multiple times. “Yifan. YifanYifan. I love you. So much. So much.”
“Stop talking.” Yifan mutters, and Junmyeon shakes his head quickly.
“I hurt you. So bad. I’m sorry. I love you. Only you.” He sobs.
“Stop talking.” Yifan snaps, and then bites his lip when he sees Junmyeon flinch. He rubs soothing circles into the back of Junmyeon’s hand. “You’ll hurt your throat.”
“I don’t care.” Junmyeon whispers. “I deserve it. Everything. You need better. Find someone better.”
“I don’t want someone better.” Yifan breathes, bending over, forehead pressed against Junmyeon’s. “Just you. I will only ever want you.”
Junmyeon’s heart breaks again when Yifan presses the most gentle kiss against his lips.
Yifan takes each apology Junmyeon whispers against his lips and lets it soothe the ragged, burning edges of the pain that tore through them.
He could never walk away from Junmyeon.
Yifan would always turn back to look for him.
Just like Junmyeon’s always done for him.
-
“You’re back.” Sehun stands quickly, walking over to look Junmyeon over. “I heard that-I’m so sorry.”
Junmyeon, still pale and weak, gives Sehun a small smile.
“It’s over and done with.” Junmyeon says, patting Sehun on the arm. “It’s all over.”
Sehun’s eyes widen at the double meaning.
“Wait-you mean-what’s happened??” He stutters out. “You and your husband didn’t-no! You can’t-I’ll call him and-“
“Yifan and I are…not entirely fine…but we’re ok.” Junmyeon cuts in. “We still have a lot of things to talk about…but we’re still…anyway. That’s not why I’m here.”
Sehun watches as Junmyeon pulls out a manila envelope from his bag.
“What are those.” Sehun asks as Junmyeon starts pulling out pictures, swallowing hard and looking away when Zitao’s face pops up.
“Look at them, Sehun.” Junmyeon says. “Look closely. Tell me what you see.”
Sehun takes a deep breath and looks.
“What do you see?” Junmyeon asks, watching Sehun’s face closely.
“Zitao….” Sehun breathes, fingers trailing over the picture slowly, throat closing up, “My Tao…”
“Look, goddamnit!” Junmyeon barks, startling the younger. “Take a good look!”
So Sehun does.
He starts at Tao’s eyes; those beautiful eyes staring blankly back at him. He hastily wipes away a tear that falls.
His own eyes fall to Tao’s mouth; that mouth he kissed, lips he bit at until they were swollen and parted underneath his tongue.
A sob escapes him as he takes in the face he loved so much.
Oh Sehun had lied when he said he was only in it for the sex.
Oh Sehun had fallen in love with Huang Zitao long ago.
He opened his mouth to ask what he was supposed to be looking for when something caught his eye.
“That…” Sehun breathed pointing at a dark mark on Zitao’s shoulder. “Tao never had that.”
“They found a tattoo on Zitao’s body, Sehun.” Junmyeon says carefully. “It was of a dragon.”
Sehun’s head snaps up, eyes burning.
“Tao never had a tattoo.” He whispers.
Junmyeon’s eyebrows raise.
“Are you sure?” He asks, and he’s taken aback by the fierce look in Sehun’s eyes.
“I loved him.” Sehun said, voice confident and steady. “There was one night when we…I spent so long, running my hands over every inch of skin on his body, memorizing him…Zitao never had a tattoo.”
Junmyeon nods slowly as a flush takes over Sehun’s face, the younger looking away quickly.
“This.” Sehun points at the picture of the dead man. “Is not my Tao.”
“Good, Sehun.” Junmyeon says, pulling out his phone. “You’ve done so well.”
“What’s going on?” Sehun asks, but Junmyeon has the phone to his ear.
Sehun watches with wide eyes as Junmyeon barks out orders into his phone. It feels like hours before the older hangs up.
“They did a test on Zitao’s body and compared it to a sample of the semen,” Sehun flushes deeper, “found on your bedsheets.” Junmyeon explains.
“What about it?” Sehun asks.
Junmyeon pauses, lifting his eyes to Sehun’s.
“That man in the tub was not your Huang Zitao.”
-
“His name is Huang Zhouli.”
“Who is he?” Sehun whispers. “He looks so much like my Tao.”
“Did you know Zitao had a twin brother?” Junmyeon asks, and Sehun shakes his head. “Zhouli and Zitao were separated when they were first born. Zitao lived with his real family, Zhouli to an orphanage.”
“Why?” Sehun asks, face still pale and eyes still swimming in confusion. Junmyeon shrugged.
“Their family could only afford one child. It was only luck that put Zitao with his family.”
“Where is he?” Sehun asks suddenly. “Where is Zitao? Is he dead, too? Why is Zhouli dead? What is happening?”
“Zhouli fell in with a drug ring while he was living in China. When they caught on he was stealing from them, he left the country.” Junmyeon smiled wryly. “We’re guessing he was hoping that Zitao would help him.”
“Where. Is. Zitao.” Sehun grits out, hands clenching into fists.
“Zhouli and Zitao had been meeting several times; Zhouli would sometimes sneak into your apartment while you were out. Zitao was helping him put his life together.” Junmyeon continued, ignoring the younger.
He raised a hand, stopping Sehun from interrupting.
“Zhouli was followed, Sehun. He snuck in to your apartment that night, asking Zitao for help. The guys following Zhouli were right behind him; they got into your apartment.”
“How…I was right there.” Sehun breathes. “How did I not know?”
“Zitao…took precautions.” Junmyeon says. “Did you drink anything before you fell asleep?”
Sehun shook his head.
“No…” He mutters. “Noth…”
His head snaps up.
“Zitao gave me the rest of his tea.” He says, searching Junmyeon’s face. “Did he put something in it?”
Junmyeon smiles and gives a small nod.
“He wanted to make sure you were out of the way, Sehun. The men were after Zhouli, nothing else. They didn’t search the apartment, or else they would’ve found you.”
Sehun shudders slightly, but enough for Junmyeon to notice.
“They found Zhouli, of course.” Sehun muttered. He gazed up at Junmyeon, eyes pleading. “Where is Zitao, Junmyeon? Please?”
Junmyeon smiles gently and shakes his head, reaching over to squeeze Sehun’s arm slightly as the younger let out a strangled sob.
“This is the last time we’ll meet, Sehun.” Junmyeon says, standing.
“Thank you.” Sehun whispers, despite the tears streaming down his face. “For everything. I’m so sorry for…”
“Forget about it.” Junmyeon says. “Live your life, Oh Sehun. Be happy, got it?”
Sehun nods, arms wrapped around himself as he tries to hold himself together.
Junmyeon hesitates, but pulls the younger into a quick hug, squeezing tightly before letting go.
“It’ll all be all right, yeah?” He says softly. “Good-bye, Oh Sehun.”
He leaves 19 year old Oh Sehun-the young man who’s spent the last month and a half on lockdown-on the couch, a free man, but completely caged in by the fact he lost the one he loves the most.
-
Junmyeon bumps into someone when he hangs up with Yifan, letting the older know he’s coming home (“Can we take a vacation together?” He’d asked, and Yifan’s soft laughter was music to his ears).
“I’m sor-“ Junmyeon trails off when the man turns to him.
They stare at each other for what feels like forever, but what can’t be more than a few seconds.
The intense gaze under raven hair cuts through him like a knife.
“Is he safe?” The man asks, voice soft, but firm. “Is he free?”
“Yes.” Junmyeon says. “I didn’t tell him. He’s still inside and he’s a mess. He needs you.”
The man nods, turning to walk away.
“He was in love with you.” Junmyeon calls after him. “Treat him well, Huang Zitao.”
Zitao stops.
“I know.” He says. “I fell in love with him first.”
Junmyeon watches him walk away.
He smile stretches wide across his face when he hears a loud wail and Oh Sehun’s voice chanting his Tao’s name over and over again.
-
Yifan is waiting for him when he gets home.
Junmyeon walks straight towards him, leaning up on his tiptoes to run his fingers through the older’s soft hair and tug him down for a searing kiss.
“I love you.” He breathes, feeling Yifan smile against his lips.
“Welcome home, Junmyeon.”