Reita/Ruki - Gazette - Greedy for Affection - Oneshot
Title: Greedy for Affection
Author: tokidokiko
Genre: Drama/Relationship
Ratings: PG
Pairings: the GazettE; Reita/Ruki
Synopsis: Ruki wants more then what Reita can give in their relationship. So Ruki tells the other to leave, but regrets it afterwards.
[ FANFIC ARCHIEVE ]
"You say you're happy with what we have, but I'll always want more than what we have. Since that's the way it is maybe ... we should end this," I said.
And just like that, I asked him to leave, and he did. Without a fight or anything. I wish he did. That way I'd know at least I meant something to him.
No one in the band knew about us. Then again there really wasn't much to tell. For awhile we've lived together. He says it's out of convenience, always. But I was happy. Even though there were times he really bugged me to death I still want him there.
Having him falling asleep next to me on the couch after a marathon to DVD movies was enough for me. At first anyway. But as time passed I found myself watching him sleep all night long until I fell asleep myself. Then it came down to me wanting to touch his lips with more then just my fingertips. It drove me crazy. He drove me crazy. Suddenly I would find myself writing songs about him. They were about wanting, having, but not really obtaining anything.
I hate how he can smile at me so easily, when I just want to hold him and pull him apart all at the same time. So I could see how much of me might reside inside him, in his heart. But I couldn't take it anymore. It's hard even to stand next to him in front of a camera, always feeling as though I'm acting while holding back myself.
Watching him leave was the hardest thing to do. Against my better judgment I followed him. With a big bag slung over his shoulder, his wallet chain jingling from his jean pocket, and his brightly bleached hair it wasn't hard to spot him in the street even at night. I kept four paces behind him. I didn't know what I was doing or what I will do. All I know was I started regretting what I said with every step I took after him.
I felt stupid. There I was chasing after him, and yet not really going anywhere. Instead of a cat and mouse game where the cat sometimes caught the mouse, I was the hamster running idiotically on the wheel. Even when I'm losing my breath I still keep on running. Why was that I wondered?
Then I started to wonder why he was walking when his car was still parked in my building's garage, or so he usually did since I don't have my own car for my space. With that thought I saw him turn a corner and went after him in curiosity as to where he was going. When I did I was met face to face with him. Shocked by the surprise, I immediately turned around to make a run. But what I didn't expect was him calling my name.
"Ruki..."
I paused, without turning back and waited for more words.
"So you were following me," he said.
"So what if I was?" I responded, still not facing him.
"... I'm sorry." I could feel him close behind me.
"What are you sorry for?" I asked, turning to see him.
"I'm just...," he looked down for a moment, "...sorry."
I think I knew what he meant and I scoffed, "Why didn't you just kept on walking? Why did you turn around for?" He just wasn't making it any easier for the both of us. Why was he doing that?
He explained, "Because if I didn't it ends here. Our friendship. Otherwise we can't ever turn back."
Did he actually believed we could go back? The moment I said I wanted something more, everything was already screwed. I thought he was selfish for not considering my feelings. And yet, I was doing the same. But when it came to this sort of thing we all have to be selfish. It's human nature. We're all greedy. Greedy for affection.
"I don't want to go back. I just want you." I was out of my mind. The moment I said those words there was a lump in my throat and my eyes began to water. There was no worser time for me to be all sensitive and emotional. I bit my lip and turned away. I had to leave now. But not before I felt this incredible warmth against my back and these strong arms around my shoulders. He had captured me once again.
"Don't say anything," he whispered.
The rest of the night we didn't spoke a word to each other. In the end he followed me home. We went back to our own rooms, in our own beds. That night neither of us slept.
Author: tokidokiko
Genre: Drama/Relationship
Ratings: PG
Pairings: the GazettE; Reita/Ruki
Synopsis: Ruki wants more then what Reita can give in their relationship. So Ruki tells the other to leave, but regrets it afterwards.
[ FANFIC ARCHIEVE ]
"You say you're happy with what we have, but I'll always want more than what we have. Since that's the way it is maybe ... we should end this," I said.
And just like that, I asked him to leave, and he did. Without a fight or anything. I wish he did. That way I'd know at least I meant something to him.
No one in the band knew about us. Then again there really wasn't much to tell. For awhile we've lived together. He says it's out of convenience, always. But I was happy. Even though there were times he really bugged me to death I still want him there.
Having him falling asleep next to me on the couch after a marathon to DVD movies was enough for me. At first anyway. But as time passed I found myself watching him sleep all night long until I fell asleep myself. Then it came down to me wanting to touch his lips with more then just my fingertips. It drove me crazy. He drove me crazy. Suddenly I would find myself writing songs about him. They were about wanting, having, but not really obtaining anything.
I hate how he can smile at me so easily, when I just want to hold him and pull him apart all at the same time. So I could see how much of me might reside inside him, in his heart. But I couldn't take it anymore. It's hard even to stand next to him in front of a camera, always feeling as though I'm acting while holding back myself.
Watching him leave was the hardest thing to do. Against my better judgment I followed him. With a big bag slung over his shoulder, his wallet chain jingling from his jean pocket, and his brightly bleached hair it wasn't hard to spot him in the street even at night. I kept four paces behind him. I didn't know what I was doing or what I will do. All I know was I started regretting what I said with every step I took after him.
I felt stupid. There I was chasing after him, and yet not really going anywhere. Instead of a cat and mouse game where the cat sometimes caught the mouse, I was the hamster running idiotically on the wheel. Even when I'm losing my breath I still keep on running. Why was that I wondered?
Then I started to wonder why he was walking when his car was still parked in my building's garage, or so he usually did since I don't have my own car for my space. With that thought I saw him turn a corner and went after him in curiosity as to where he was going. When I did I was met face to face with him. Shocked by the surprise, I immediately turned around to make a run. But what I didn't expect was him calling my name.
"Ruki..."
I paused, without turning back and waited for more words.
"So you were following me," he said.
"So what if I was?" I responded, still not facing him.
"... I'm sorry." I could feel him close behind me.
"What are you sorry for?" I asked, turning to see him.
"I'm just...," he looked down for a moment, "...sorry."
I think I knew what he meant and I scoffed, "Why didn't you just kept on walking? Why did you turn around for?" He just wasn't making it any easier for the both of us. Why was he doing that?
He explained, "Because if I didn't it ends here. Our friendship. Otherwise we can't ever turn back."
Did he actually believed we could go back? The moment I said I wanted something more, everything was already screwed. I thought he was selfish for not considering my feelings. And yet, I was doing the same. But when it came to this sort of thing we all have to be selfish. It's human nature. We're all greedy. Greedy for affection.
"I don't want to go back. I just want you." I was out of my mind. The moment I said those words there was a lump in my throat and my eyes began to water. There was no worser time for me to be all sensitive and emotional. I bit my lip and turned away. I had to leave now. But not before I felt this incredible warmth against my back and these strong arms around my shoulders. He had captured me once again.
"Don't say anything," he whispered.
The rest of the night we didn't spoke a word to each other. In the end he followed me home. We went back to our own rooms, in our own beds. That night neither of us slept.