Us vs. the Apocalypse
Title: Doc Cramer's Concerns
Word Count: 830
Author's Note: I toyed with a few "alternate choice" ideas before writing this, but this one just kept sneaking back. This choice was technically made pre-canon, but it influenced the entire novel because, well, if Dixon had actually made THIS choice, then Aura would never have joined the squad and I would have needed a new protagonist. *laughs* It does beg the question, would Dixon have managed to keep it together for the sake of his squad? Something for me to think about, I guess.
Raymond Hsu's office was immaculate as usual - from the carefully aligned books on the shelves lining the wall, to the perfect arrangement of the supplies on his desk, the room told the story of either a man intent on making an impression, or desperate to maintain control of something in a world that had dissolved into chaos. Dixon smirked a little at this as he lowered himself into the wooden chair opposite the stout man, wincing at the stiffness in his back and the ache of his knees.
"It's been a long week for you," Raymond said quietly. "I'm sorry to hear about your family."
"It's fine," Dixon replied, the same lie he'd been feeding his coworkers. "Was bound to happen."
"Doctor Cramer has expressed her concerns about your state of mind." Raymond flipped over a folder on his desk, and Dixon sighed inwardly at the stack lined pages marked with the perky psychiatrist's pristine cursive. He should have known that this was about his mandatory therapy. "She's worried that you're suffering some post-traumatic stress."
"And?"
Dixon's monosyllabic question made Raymond's eyebrow raise, and the older man folded his hands over the pages, watching Dixon's face intently.
"And if she's worried, I'm worried," he clarified. "I'm not comfortable with the idea of one of my captains falling to pieces in the field."
"I wasn't aware that I'd given you cause for concern."
"Dixon, you let a rogue enemy get inside your encampment." Raymond never used the pet-name for the creatures that was so popular among the dispatchers, and God forbid he ever call them zombies.
"And?" Dixon repeated.
"And it nearly made a meal of your Hunter."
"Like it makes much of a difference to Keenan if he gets bitten," Dixon retorted as Raymond looked down at the pages. "Again."
"I'm sure he'd beg to differ," Raymond mentioned, looking up with a raised eyebrow. "And may I remind you," he added, "that his... situation... is quite unique to Haven. I'd rather it not become public knowledge. Treating a fresh bite would -"
"With all due respect, Chief," Dixon interrupted, "if this is just going to be a lecture about Keenan's 'safety', then maybe you take it up with him."
A brief, tense silence fell in which the two men stared at each other, Raymond with waning patience and Dixon with growing frustration. Finally, the Chief cleared his throat and closed the folder.
"I need to know if it's come time for you to step down," he said, and quickly held up a hand to silence Dixon's response. "I'm not forcing you. Anything but. You're one of the best Captains Haven has seen, and frankly, I'd be disappointed to see your career end like this." He put his hand down, and his gaze hardened. "But when you step outside that wall, Dixon, you're carrying the weight of three lives, not one. Even if one of them is..." He hesitated, considered his words, and in light of Dixon's darkening expression seemed to think it best he not finish his sentence. "I want this to be your choice. If you don't feel you're capable of carrying on in your role, then I'm offering you the opportunity to step down without being penalized, and have a new candidate for captaincy join your squad. You'll maintain your same rate of pay, your same privileges." He spread his hands, as if trying to indicate by gesture alone the generosity of his offer. "It's the best of both worlds, don't you think?"
It really was, though Dixon was careful not to let his face show his surprise and relief. He'd been considering stepping down since the afternoon he came back from his father's house, but leaving his post seemed like such a waste after everything he'd been through. And despite how much Mason and Keenan drove him insane on the best of days, the idea of leaving them - the only family he really had left - not only saddened but downright terrified him.
But then there was the catch. The "new candidate". As much as shedding his responsibilities appealed to him, having a new member of the squad did not. His was a small team, and they operated perfectly fine. Chaotic, sometimes, but they knew and trusted each other enough to do what was necessary and keep each other safe. The Ollie that had breached the encampment perimeter on his watch was a rare mistake, one that he was certain he wouldn't make again. Could he trust some recruit to watch out for his team as carefully as he did? To understand the way they worked, to take care of them? The more he thought about it, the more his resentment at the idea his boss found him incapable of doing his job overwhelmed his gratitude at the Chief's offer.
Squaring his shoulders and setting his jaw, he met Raymond's curious gaze.
"I appreciate the offer," he said clearly, firmly, "but I won't be stepping down."
Word Count: 830
Author's Note: I toyed with a few "alternate choice" ideas before writing this, but this one just kept sneaking back. This choice was technically made pre-canon, but it influenced the entire novel because, well, if Dixon had actually made THIS choice, then Aura would never have joined the squad and I would have needed a new protagonist. *laughs* It does beg the question, would Dixon have managed to keep it together for the sake of his squad? Something for me to think about, I guess.
Raymond Hsu's office was immaculate as usual - from the carefully aligned books on the shelves lining the wall, to the perfect arrangement of the supplies on his desk, the room told the story of either a man intent on making an impression, or desperate to maintain control of something in a world that had dissolved into chaos. Dixon smirked a little at this as he lowered himself into the wooden chair opposite the stout man, wincing at the stiffness in his back and the ache of his knees.
"It's been a long week for you," Raymond said quietly. "I'm sorry to hear about your family."
"It's fine," Dixon replied, the same lie he'd been feeding his coworkers. "Was bound to happen."
"Doctor Cramer has expressed her concerns about your state of mind." Raymond flipped over a folder on his desk, and Dixon sighed inwardly at the stack lined pages marked with the perky psychiatrist's pristine cursive. He should have known that this was about his mandatory therapy. "She's worried that you're suffering some post-traumatic stress."
"And?"
Dixon's monosyllabic question made Raymond's eyebrow raise, and the older man folded his hands over the pages, watching Dixon's face intently.
"And if she's worried, I'm worried," he clarified. "I'm not comfortable with the idea of one of my captains falling to pieces in the field."
"I wasn't aware that I'd given you cause for concern."
"Dixon, you let a rogue enemy get inside your encampment." Raymond never used the pet-name for the creatures that was so popular among the dispatchers, and God forbid he ever call them zombies.
"And?" Dixon repeated.
"And it nearly made a meal of your Hunter."
"Like it makes much of a difference to Keenan if he gets bitten," Dixon retorted as Raymond looked down at the pages. "Again."
"I'm sure he'd beg to differ," Raymond mentioned, looking up with a raised eyebrow. "And may I remind you," he added, "that his... situation... is quite unique to Haven. I'd rather it not become public knowledge. Treating a fresh bite would -"
"With all due respect, Chief," Dixon interrupted, "if this is just going to be a lecture about Keenan's 'safety', then maybe you take it up with him."
A brief, tense silence fell in which the two men stared at each other, Raymond with waning patience and Dixon with growing frustration. Finally, the Chief cleared his throat and closed the folder.
"I need to know if it's come time for you to step down," he said, and quickly held up a hand to silence Dixon's response. "I'm not forcing you. Anything but. You're one of the best Captains Haven has seen, and frankly, I'd be disappointed to see your career end like this." He put his hand down, and his gaze hardened. "But when you step outside that wall, Dixon, you're carrying the weight of three lives, not one. Even if one of them is..." He hesitated, considered his words, and in light of Dixon's darkening expression seemed to think it best he not finish his sentence. "I want this to be your choice. If you don't feel you're capable of carrying on in your role, then I'm offering you the opportunity to step down without being penalized, and have a new candidate for captaincy join your squad. You'll maintain your same rate of pay, your same privileges." He spread his hands, as if trying to indicate by gesture alone the generosity of his offer. "It's the best of both worlds, don't you think?"
It really was, though Dixon was careful not to let his face show his surprise and relief. He'd been considering stepping down since the afternoon he came back from his father's house, but leaving his post seemed like such a waste after everything he'd been through. And despite how much Mason and Keenan drove him insane on the best of days, the idea of leaving them - the only family he really had left - not only saddened but downright terrified him.
But then there was the catch. The "new candidate". As much as shedding his responsibilities appealed to him, having a new member of the squad did not. His was a small team, and they operated perfectly fine. Chaotic, sometimes, but they knew and trusted each other enough to do what was necessary and keep each other safe. The Ollie that had breached the encampment perimeter on his watch was a rare mistake, one that he was certain he wouldn't make again. Could he trust some recruit to watch out for his team as carefully as he did? To understand the way they worked, to take care of them? The more he thought about it, the more his resentment at the idea his boss found him incapable of doing his job overwhelmed his gratitude at the Chief's offer.
Squaring his shoulders and setting his jaw, he met Raymond's curious gaze.
"I appreciate the offer," he said clearly, firmly, "but I won't be stepping down."