FF7: SephCloudZack "Unexpected Side-Effects"
Title: Unexpected Side-Effects: Part I
Pairing: Sephiroth/Cloud/Zack
Rating: R
Warnings: tentacles, spoilers, adult content, violence
A/N: I swear, artimusdin all but wrote this. XDDD Seriously. And graciously looked over by icedark_elf. ^_~ Written for ciceqi, because I saw her Giftmas wishlist and was terribly bunnied. *laughs* All mistakes are still mine, of course.
Summary: Cloud really wished that his mother had warned him about days like this. Pre-game.
Unexpected Side-Effects
Part I: Section One
Cloud Strife would have loved to say that his mother had told him there would be days like this. No, really, he would. He knew a lot of people who had complained about hearing such clichéd lines, but he truly, honestly wouldn’t mind having a memory of his mother warning him. He could work with cliché; cliché had to happen for it to become cliché. In fact, it had to be a damned regular occurrence.
Oh yes. Cloud wouldn’t mind that line right then.
Sighing, Cloud reflexively tightened and loosened his grip on the Buster Sword. It wasn’t his, but he had used it enough that it fit comfortably in his hands. Besides that, he had lost his gun in front of the reactor, and in the Nibel Mountains, one would have to be insane-
Cloud screwed his eyes shut. Never mind. There was no way he could go right with that train of thought.
Cloud sucked in a shuddering breath and focused on his surroundings. With his back to the shallow cave and bandages hiding the glint of the massive blade, the area seemed well defended. As clever as the Turks appeared, Cloud knew these mountains better than the back of his hand. If nothing else, Cloud hoped that his distraction would work until . . .
Until . . .
Oh by Hel, what did Cloud do then?
Breath coming shallow and quick, Cloud glanced behind him. The pair still appeared to be unconscious, although a little more bruised since Cloud had literally dragged them a good distance. Just the memory of that renewed the ache in his limbs, the pain in his hands. For all of his dreams of SOLDIER, he was nothing but a trooper, a pathetic little trooper who was way over his head and who had killed the-
Cloud slammed that thought to a halt. He steadied his grip on the Buster Sword and forced his hands to stop shaking.
When this is all over, the blond informed himself, you can collapse somewhere, sleep for a week, and then have a nervous breakdown. Not yet.
Until it was over, he had to deal with the fact that he had gunned down Hojo right in front of the Turks, his hometown was gone (his mother was gone), his dreams were gone . . .
And his best friend and his commander-
Cloud had to stop and just breathe for a moment.
All right. Surroundings. Killer Turks. Right. Inhaling through his nose and exhaling through his mouth, Cloud glanced around the mountainside. It was still several more hours until nightfall, but darkness was already falling over his side of the mountain. The plants were sparse, but Cloud knew how the shadows could play tricks on even the savviest eyes. Between that and the fact that he knew of three dragon nests close by, he figured they were decently protected. Only someone who knew about the dragons could safely pass them.
Cloud just wished things were that simple on this side of the cave.
As if he could hear Cloud’s thoughts, Zack moaned and twisted. Cloud glanced one last time before creeping back into the cave. He carried the Buster Sword until he reached Zack’s side and then he carefully placed it beside him: just in case, it would be within reach. Something leathery and black darted at him, but Cloud didn’t flinch when it gently wrapped around his wrist.
It might be a tentacle, one of at least a dozen, but it was one of Zack’s tentacles, so Cloud knew he had nothing to fear.
Dragging himself to Zack’s side, Cloud couldn’t resist pulling Zack’s tousled shirt down. Well, at least his stomach is covered, he thought ruefully, staring where Zack’s groin and legs used to be. The tentacles were scraped but not as badly as before. Apparently the SOLDIER’s healing ability covered the tentacles, and he couldn’t believe that he was getting used to them.
He was still contemplating covering them and how he could possibly cover them when the man’s violet eyes flickered open. He stared blankly at Cloud, and the blond’s hands twitched only a moment before he grasped one of Zack’s hands. Whatever uncertainty he felt at his invasion of the man’s space vanished when Zack visibly relaxed.
“Cloud?” he whispered, and the hoarseness of his voice almost made Cloud cringe. Only the realization of what Zack would think he was cringing at stopped the motion. Why didn’t he think to pick his canteen back up? Or at least find Zack a better pillow than his jacket so the man wouldn’t be inhaling so much dirt? “Are you okay?”
Cloud forced a smile. “Yeah.” He glanced at Zack’s scuffed tentacles, including the one wrapped around his wrist. “You?”
Zack flinched, following Cloud’s gaze down to what used to be his legs. The older man trembled a little, and stunned at the emotional display, Cloud tightened his grip on Zack’s hand. “I had hoped,” Zack whispered, “that it was all a dream.” Then his violet eyes widened. “That means-”
With a flush, Cloud lifted his head and looked past Zack. He couldn’t believe he forgot the man, even for a moment. “Yeah,” Cloud whispered back. What else could he say?
Zack started and twisted so he could look over his shoulder. “He’s here?” The SOLDIER’s violet eyes flicked over Sephiroth’s unconscious body. “Cloud . . .” His voice trailed off, and Cloud watched him as he studied the odd manacles holding the General. “Barrier materia?”
Ashamed, Cloud ducked his head. The cave was small, barely big enough to comfortably house the two reclining SOLDIERs, but hunched as he was, Cloud took up no room at all. “I had to steal it from the General,” he admitted wretchedly. “I couldn’t grab our bags and I didn’t have any supplies and I’m sorry that I couldn’t do better-”
Zack’s tentacle on Cloud’s mouth startled them both. Unsurprisingly, Zack recovered first. Not withdrawing his tentacle, Zack said firmly, “Enough of that. We’re here, we’re alive, and how by the Planet did you stop him?”
Biting his lip the moment Zack drew back his tentacle, Cloud knew that Zack wouldn’t like his immediate thought: Why couldn’t he stop the General earlier?
“My canteen,” Cloud murmured. “I didn’t want to get close to his tentacles” like my mom did oh by Hel my mom “so I threw my canteen at his head. It hit him right in the temple and it was the heavy regulation canteen and-”
Zack covered Cloud’s mouth with his tentacle again. “Breathe, Spike,” he ordered gently.
Cloud stared at him with too wide eyes. “Ah floph Fofo.”
Blinking, Zack withdrew his tentacle. “What?”
Cloud licked his lips, tasting something odd that had to have come from Zack’s tentacles. He blushed, then blushed brighter when he unconsciously licked his lips again. “I shot Hojo.” As Zack’s jaw dropped, Cloud ducked his head. “Right in front of the Turks when he said the tentacles couldn’t be reversed by science and I got him in the neck and please don’t kill me.”
When Cloud looked up again, unnerved by Zack’s silence, he found the man still gaping. “Zack?” he asked cautiously.
The muscles of Zack’s throat moved in a thick swallow, his tentacles jerking in an odd tandem with the motion. “How did you do that without the Turks shooting you?” he asked faintly.
With a flush, Cloud tried to hunch further into himself, but Zack’s tentacles wrapping tentatively around Cloud stopped him. When Cloud didn’t protest, Zack pulled Cloud against his chest.
Remembering how Zack had held him the night he had learned he had failed the SOLDIER test, Cloud didn’t try to object. He simply pressed his forehead against Zack’s shoulder. “I brought the General here first and bound him,” Cloud admitted, feeling ashamed that he didn’t get Zack first even when he knew Sephiroth had to be his first priority. Zack’s tentacles tightened around him as if hugging him. “When I came back for you, Hojo was already there with the Turks. I think Tifa’s teacher got her out of there; she wasn’t there when I went back and there was no sign of anyone else. They caught up to me when I dragged you out outside. Hojo talked about Jenova like he was throwing it in my face, and I shot him in the throat. The Nibel wolves were already around because of . . . because of . . .” because of the slaughter in town “…because of everything else, and the Turks weren’t exactly equipped to scare the wolves away. By the time they dealt with that, I got us out of there.”
The flames kept the wolves away, but the smell of blood kept them close. And there was so much blood. There was blood everywhere. I had my mom’s blood on my hands.
He didn’t realize he was hyperventilating until he noticed Zack murmuring in his ear, rubbing his back and rocking him with both his arms and tentacles. Cloud buried his face in Zack’s shoulder and concentrated on his breathing.
…dammit.
“You’re doing good, Spike,” Zack whispered, hands and tentacles still moving soothingly. Only Zack could make tentacles soothing. “You got us out of there and you got us to safety. Don’t worry, okay? We’ll figure something out.”
The use of the ‘we’ calmed Cloud more than the blond figured it would. Exhaling slowly, Cloud pulled out enough to look Zack in the face. Holding his gaze, Zack placed a steadying hand on Cloud’s cheek.
“We need to make a plan.” As he spoke, he stroked Cloud’s cheek with his thumb, and Cloud began breathing in time with the motion. “I’m not sure how determined the Turks are going to be with Hojo dead. They were probably going by Hojo’s orders, and all considering, I don’t think ShinRa knew what was going on. Without Hojo’s orders and probably no orders from ShinRa, either, they may or may not be coming after us.”
Cloud nodded hesitantly, his eyes flicking over Zack’s shoulder. “What about . . .” He couldn’t bring himself to finish his sentence.
For some reason, with an agonizing clearness, he could remember Sephiroth turning to him and asking him about his hometown. Huddled in a ball and trying not to vomit before the legendary General, Cloud had not been able to answer clearly. However, he could hear the wistfulness in Sephiroth’s voice.
Days later, Sephiroth had burned his home to the ground.
Zack glanced at Sephiroth. His face tightened, and he turned back to Cloud. “I don’t think that was him,” Zack said, making Cloud’s gaze snap back to him. The determination in those violet eyes startled the blond. “We both know him. If he was going to crack, he wouldn’t do it like that.” He looked down at his tentacles, most of which were wrapped gently around Cloud. He hesitated, glancing at Cloud’s pale face, but didn’t attempt to remove them. “I think it has to do with them, whatever made them . . . sprout out.”
Stiff and silent in Zack’s embrace, Cloud stared at him for a long moment. “Jenova,” he finally said.
Zack blinked. “Jen-” His eyes widened. “Jenova. Sephiroth was rambling about her. Said she was an Ancient and how that made him an Ancient, too.”
Cloud was shaking his head before Zack was finished his final sentence. “No. Jenova . . . Hojo injected Jenova into the General.” A tentacle waved carelessly before Cloud’s nose. “And you, too.” He swallowed, realization hitting him hard and fast. “Probably all the SOLDIERs. That’s why . . .”
Zack nodded, jaw clenched. “Yeah. That sick shit probably had all this planned out. ShinRa thought he had an army, but it was Hojo’s army.” He scowled. “But what the fuck was Jenova? Don’t tell me it was an Ancient: there’s no stories about the Ancients having tentacles.”
“She never said.” That weary voice made Cloud squeak, but Zack twisted and stared cautiously at the bound man. Sephiroth stared tiredly back, looking older than either man had ever seen him. “She . . . spoke to me. She talked about reunions and destruction and genocide, but She never said what She was.” Those feline eyes looked away from Zack, staring at the ground. Even the man’s tentacles drooped with an odd resignation.
Cloud had expected to see something when Sephiroth awoke again: that terrifying madness that had destroyed his hometown, anger at being bound, remorse at the destruction he caused . . . not this odd hollowness. Even the pride that had always held Sephiroth’s head high had vanished, leaving the man slumped and broken.
Was Cloud supposed to be angry? Was he supposed to scream at him, yell at him for the trust he had broken, the lives he had taken? Was he supposed to cry?
All Cloud could do was stare at Sephiroth, feeling the same hollowness echoed in those green eyes gnawing at his guts. No, he didn’t believe Sephiroth was responsible. But the only person who could have been responsible was already dead.
What was he supposed to do?
Of course, Zack knew. He slithered-for there was no other word for it-over to Sephiroth, pulling Cloud along with him. One arm wrapped securely around Cloud, Zack reached out with his free hand and touched a materia in Sephiroth’s arm bangle. With a hiss, the binds around Sephiroth’s wrists and tentacles vanished, but the man himself made no attempt to move. Undeterred, Zack pulled Cloud so the pair was resting beside Sephiroth.
“Are you in control now?” Zack asked quietly, and Cloud flinched at the question.
Sephiroth, however, did not. He never even looked up. “For the moment. I can still hear Her voice. She wants me to go back to the reactor, to finish what I began.” No one needed further clarification on that.
Out of the trio, Zack seemed the steadiest. He didn’t even seem bothered by his tentacles anymore. Cloud didn’t know how he could not be, but he wasn’t going to complain. He was sore and everything ached, but Sephiroth’s dead eyes kept him from resting his head against Zack’s chest and going to sleep.
“Can you maintain control?” Zack persisted, his voice still calm, blameless.
After only a moment’s hesitation, Sephiroth nodded. “Long enough.”
Zack’s arm tightened convulsively around Cloud, and the blond glanced between the two in bewilderment. Long enough? For a cure to be found? Remembering Hojo’s words, he grimaced. How would Sephiroth react to that news?
Zack’s next words confused Cloud more. “It wasn’t your fault. We both know that. It was Jenova’s, whatever that bitch is. It wasn’t your fault.”
Zack reached out, as if to wrap his free arm around Sephiroth, and for the first time, the man reacted: Sephiroth jerked back against the wall as if Zack had struck him. Cloud flinched, which only made Sephiroth press harder against the cave wall. Zack stared at the pair, an emotion that Cloud refused to identify darkening his eyes.
“It wasn’t your fault,” Zack repeated quietly. “You couldn’t control what happened, no more than you could control these forming.” He waved at his tentacles, and they seemed to wave back. Sephiroth’s remained limp in the dirt. “We think that all of the SOLDIERs had that thing injected in us.”
Remnants of old conversations ran through Cloud’s mind, warnings about Hojo, Zack whispering reasons and threats and countless other things about the dark secrets surrounding Sephiroth’s inhuman strength.
As if reading Cloud’s mind, Sephiroth laughed, a hoarse, bitter sound. It was so soft that it didn’t even echo through the small cave. His tentacles remained lifeless. “He had me longer than the other SOLDIERs. He’s been injecting me with Her cells all my life.”
“Which only means that you had less ability to fight back,” Zack retorted firmly. “But now you know the threat. We can make plans now.”
Sephiroth raised his head, staring incredulously at Zack. “I destroyed his village, Zack!” he hissed. He nodded at Cloud as he spoke, but he never met Cloud’s eyes. “I killed all of those people. I-”
Zack’s tentacle covered Sephiroth’s mouth just like it covered Cloud’s earlier. “You were another victim!” he snapped. “You couldn’t control that, no more than you could control Hojo’s experimentation. It was Jenova who did that, not you, and now we have to figure out how to keep this from happening again!”
Cloud had never felt more small or insignificant in his life as he listened to the two men speak. He remembered collapsing in the village earlier, the image of his mother’s corpse burning his eyes. As he wept over that like a child, Zack had been helping the survivors and charging after Sephiroth, uncaring of his own fate. Even when he transformed in the reactor, he didn’t stop, still fighting and trying to bring some sort of resolution to the tragedy.
Feeling like a child at the adults’ table, Cloud clenched his fists. He couldn’t be helpless. He couldn’t be a burden to them!
“You transformed because of your proximity to Jenova,” Cloud interrupted softly. Both Sephiroth and Zack immediately silenced, and Cloud resisted the urge to hide in Zack’s tentacles. The very urge made him want to laugh, and he could sense the hysteria building in him. Stubbornly, he forced it away. “Everything happened because of close proximity to Jenova.” He took a deep breath and forced himself to look up. Only Zack met his gaze. “I’ve never had any injections. If I could get back to the reactor, maybe I could . . . I dunno . . . drop her in the reactor or something.”
Before he finished, Zack was nodding, an oddly satisfied smile on his lips. “The Turks won’t expect any of us to go back to the reactor. We’ll have to do that tomorrow.”
Cloud stared at him, a question concerning the ‘we’ on the tip of his tongue. Instead, he asked, “Tomorrow?”
Zack smiled gently at him. “You’re shaking and pale, Spike,” he said softly. “You’ve had one hell of a day. Yeah. Tomorrow.”
Cloud wanted to protest but one look at his hands stopped him. They were trembling, and he quickly clenched them.
Useless. Again.
“I’m sorry.” Sephiroth’s voice made Cloud look away from his hands. The silver-haired man still wasn’t looking at him, gaze focused on the ground. Cloud gritted his teeth, hating the look of resignation on Sephiroth’s face. “I am the cause of your pain today. You are free to take any justice you feel is necessary.”
“Sephiroth,” Zack started, and Cloud stared at them both. The words sounded simple, but none of it was making any sense to Cloud. He had heard the entire conversation-was so close he couldn’t help but hear it-but it seemed to go entirely over his head.
“I already did,” he said, and Zack shut up. Both men stared at him in confusion, and he explained, “I shot him. He’s food for the wolves by now.”
As Sephiroth stared, actually looking at his face for the first time, Zack abruptly laughed. The dark-haired man jumped a little, as if the noise had surprised him, too, but didn’t stop. “Hojo,” he said with a chuckle. “Yeah. I guess you did get your revenge, didn’t you?”
Cloud felt his face flush as Sephiroth continued staring. Not for the first time, it hit him that it wasn’t his revenge to take. Whatever had been done to his village, Hojo had been Sephiroth’s to kill. Cloud had stolen that from him.
And the worse part was that Cloud hadn’t killed him in the name of revenge. Cloud had simply needed a distraction.
“I’m sorry,” he whispered. Unable to look at those oddly vulnerable green eyes anymore, Cloud closed his own eyes.
Next Part
Pairing: Sephiroth/Cloud/Zack
Rating: R
Warnings: tentacles, spoilers, adult content, violence
A/N: I swear, artimusdin all but wrote this. XDDD Seriously. And graciously looked over by icedark_elf. ^_~ Written for ciceqi, because I saw her Giftmas wishlist and was terribly bunnied. *laughs* All mistakes are still mine, of course.
Summary: Cloud really wished that his mother had warned him about days like this. Pre-game.
Unexpected Side-Effects
Part I: Section One
Cloud Strife would have loved to say that his mother had told him there would be days like this. No, really, he would. He knew a lot of people who had complained about hearing such clichéd lines, but he truly, honestly wouldn’t mind having a memory of his mother warning him. He could work with cliché; cliché had to happen for it to become cliché. In fact, it had to be a damned regular occurrence.
Oh yes. Cloud wouldn’t mind that line right then.
Sighing, Cloud reflexively tightened and loosened his grip on the Buster Sword. It wasn’t his, but he had used it enough that it fit comfortably in his hands. Besides that, he had lost his gun in front of the reactor, and in the Nibel Mountains, one would have to be insane-
Cloud screwed his eyes shut. Never mind. There was no way he could go right with that train of thought.
Cloud sucked in a shuddering breath and focused on his surroundings. With his back to the shallow cave and bandages hiding the glint of the massive blade, the area seemed well defended. As clever as the Turks appeared, Cloud knew these mountains better than the back of his hand. If nothing else, Cloud hoped that his distraction would work until . . .
Until . . .
Oh by Hel, what did Cloud do then?
Breath coming shallow and quick, Cloud glanced behind him. The pair still appeared to be unconscious, although a little more bruised since Cloud had literally dragged them a good distance. Just the memory of that renewed the ache in his limbs, the pain in his hands. For all of his dreams of SOLDIER, he was nothing but a trooper, a pathetic little trooper who was way over his head and who had killed the-
Cloud slammed that thought to a halt. He steadied his grip on the Buster Sword and forced his hands to stop shaking.
When this is all over, the blond informed himself, you can collapse somewhere, sleep for a week, and then have a nervous breakdown. Not yet.
Until it was over, he had to deal with the fact that he had gunned down Hojo right in front of the Turks, his hometown was gone (his mother was gone), his dreams were gone . . .
And his best friend and his commander-
Cloud had to stop and just breathe for a moment.
All right. Surroundings. Killer Turks. Right. Inhaling through his nose and exhaling through his mouth, Cloud glanced around the mountainside. It was still several more hours until nightfall, but darkness was already falling over his side of the mountain. The plants were sparse, but Cloud knew how the shadows could play tricks on even the savviest eyes. Between that and the fact that he knew of three dragon nests close by, he figured they were decently protected. Only someone who knew about the dragons could safely pass them.
Cloud just wished things were that simple on this side of the cave.
As if he could hear Cloud’s thoughts, Zack moaned and twisted. Cloud glanced one last time before creeping back into the cave. He carried the Buster Sword until he reached Zack’s side and then he carefully placed it beside him: just in case, it would be within reach. Something leathery and black darted at him, but Cloud didn’t flinch when it gently wrapped around his wrist.
It might be a tentacle, one of at least a dozen, but it was one of Zack’s tentacles, so Cloud knew he had nothing to fear.
Dragging himself to Zack’s side, Cloud couldn’t resist pulling Zack’s tousled shirt down. Well, at least his stomach is covered, he thought ruefully, staring where Zack’s groin and legs used to be. The tentacles were scraped but not as badly as before. Apparently the SOLDIER’s healing ability covered the tentacles, and he couldn’t believe that he was getting used to them.
He was still contemplating covering them and how he could possibly cover them when the man’s violet eyes flickered open. He stared blankly at Cloud, and the blond’s hands twitched only a moment before he grasped one of Zack’s hands. Whatever uncertainty he felt at his invasion of the man’s space vanished when Zack visibly relaxed.
“Cloud?” he whispered, and the hoarseness of his voice almost made Cloud cringe. Only the realization of what Zack would think he was cringing at stopped the motion. Why didn’t he think to pick his canteen back up? Or at least find Zack a better pillow than his jacket so the man wouldn’t be inhaling so much dirt? “Are you okay?”
Cloud forced a smile. “Yeah.” He glanced at Zack’s scuffed tentacles, including the one wrapped around his wrist. “You?”
Zack flinched, following Cloud’s gaze down to what used to be his legs. The older man trembled a little, and stunned at the emotional display, Cloud tightened his grip on Zack’s hand. “I had hoped,” Zack whispered, “that it was all a dream.” Then his violet eyes widened. “That means-”
With a flush, Cloud lifted his head and looked past Zack. He couldn’t believe he forgot the man, even for a moment. “Yeah,” Cloud whispered back. What else could he say?
Zack started and twisted so he could look over his shoulder. “He’s here?” The SOLDIER’s violet eyes flicked over Sephiroth’s unconscious body. “Cloud . . .” His voice trailed off, and Cloud watched him as he studied the odd manacles holding the General. “Barrier materia?”
Ashamed, Cloud ducked his head. The cave was small, barely big enough to comfortably house the two reclining SOLDIERs, but hunched as he was, Cloud took up no room at all. “I had to steal it from the General,” he admitted wretchedly. “I couldn’t grab our bags and I didn’t have any supplies and I’m sorry that I couldn’t do better-”
Zack’s tentacle on Cloud’s mouth startled them both. Unsurprisingly, Zack recovered first. Not withdrawing his tentacle, Zack said firmly, “Enough of that. We’re here, we’re alive, and how by the Planet did you stop him?”
Biting his lip the moment Zack drew back his tentacle, Cloud knew that Zack wouldn’t like his immediate thought: Why couldn’t he stop the General earlier?
“My canteen,” Cloud murmured. “I didn’t want to get close to his tentacles” like my mom did oh by Hel my mom “so I threw my canteen at his head. It hit him right in the temple and it was the heavy regulation canteen and-”
Zack covered Cloud’s mouth with his tentacle again. “Breathe, Spike,” he ordered gently.
Cloud stared at him with too wide eyes. “Ah floph Fofo.”
Blinking, Zack withdrew his tentacle. “What?”
Cloud licked his lips, tasting something odd that had to have come from Zack’s tentacles. He blushed, then blushed brighter when he unconsciously licked his lips again. “I shot Hojo.” As Zack’s jaw dropped, Cloud ducked his head. “Right in front of the Turks when he said the tentacles couldn’t be reversed by science and I got him in the neck and please don’t kill me.”
When Cloud looked up again, unnerved by Zack’s silence, he found the man still gaping. “Zack?” he asked cautiously.
The muscles of Zack’s throat moved in a thick swallow, his tentacles jerking in an odd tandem with the motion. “How did you do that without the Turks shooting you?” he asked faintly.
With a flush, Cloud tried to hunch further into himself, but Zack’s tentacles wrapping tentatively around Cloud stopped him. When Cloud didn’t protest, Zack pulled Cloud against his chest.
Remembering how Zack had held him the night he had learned he had failed the SOLDIER test, Cloud didn’t try to object. He simply pressed his forehead against Zack’s shoulder. “I brought the General here first and bound him,” Cloud admitted, feeling ashamed that he didn’t get Zack first even when he knew Sephiroth had to be his first priority. Zack’s tentacles tightened around him as if hugging him. “When I came back for you, Hojo was already there with the Turks. I think Tifa’s teacher got her out of there; she wasn’t there when I went back and there was no sign of anyone else. They caught up to me when I dragged you out outside. Hojo talked about Jenova like he was throwing it in my face, and I shot him in the throat. The Nibel wolves were already around because of . . . because of . . .” because of the slaughter in town “…because of everything else, and the Turks weren’t exactly equipped to scare the wolves away. By the time they dealt with that, I got us out of there.”
The flames kept the wolves away, but the smell of blood kept them close. And there was so much blood. There was blood everywhere. I had my mom’s blood on my hands.
He didn’t realize he was hyperventilating until he noticed Zack murmuring in his ear, rubbing his back and rocking him with both his arms and tentacles. Cloud buried his face in Zack’s shoulder and concentrated on his breathing.
…dammit.
“You’re doing good, Spike,” Zack whispered, hands and tentacles still moving soothingly. Only Zack could make tentacles soothing. “You got us out of there and you got us to safety. Don’t worry, okay? We’ll figure something out.”
The use of the ‘we’ calmed Cloud more than the blond figured it would. Exhaling slowly, Cloud pulled out enough to look Zack in the face. Holding his gaze, Zack placed a steadying hand on Cloud’s cheek.
“We need to make a plan.” As he spoke, he stroked Cloud’s cheek with his thumb, and Cloud began breathing in time with the motion. “I’m not sure how determined the Turks are going to be with Hojo dead. They were probably going by Hojo’s orders, and all considering, I don’t think ShinRa knew what was going on. Without Hojo’s orders and probably no orders from ShinRa, either, they may or may not be coming after us.”
Cloud nodded hesitantly, his eyes flicking over Zack’s shoulder. “What about . . .” He couldn’t bring himself to finish his sentence.
For some reason, with an agonizing clearness, he could remember Sephiroth turning to him and asking him about his hometown. Huddled in a ball and trying not to vomit before the legendary General, Cloud had not been able to answer clearly. However, he could hear the wistfulness in Sephiroth’s voice.
Days later, Sephiroth had burned his home to the ground.
Zack glanced at Sephiroth. His face tightened, and he turned back to Cloud. “I don’t think that was him,” Zack said, making Cloud’s gaze snap back to him. The determination in those violet eyes startled the blond. “We both know him. If he was going to crack, he wouldn’t do it like that.” He looked down at his tentacles, most of which were wrapped gently around Cloud. He hesitated, glancing at Cloud’s pale face, but didn’t attempt to remove them. “I think it has to do with them, whatever made them . . . sprout out.”
Stiff and silent in Zack’s embrace, Cloud stared at him for a long moment. “Jenova,” he finally said.
Zack blinked. “Jen-” His eyes widened. “Jenova. Sephiroth was rambling about her. Said she was an Ancient and how that made him an Ancient, too.”
Cloud was shaking his head before Zack was finished his final sentence. “No. Jenova . . . Hojo injected Jenova into the General.” A tentacle waved carelessly before Cloud’s nose. “And you, too.” He swallowed, realization hitting him hard and fast. “Probably all the SOLDIERs. That’s why . . .”
Zack nodded, jaw clenched. “Yeah. That sick shit probably had all this planned out. ShinRa thought he had an army, but it was Hojo’s army.” He scowled. “But what the fuck was Jenova? Don’t tell me it was an Ancient: there’s no stories about the Ancients having tentacles.”
“She never said.” That weary voice made Cloud squeak, but Zack twisted and stared cautiously at the bound man. Sephiroth stared tiredly back, looking older than either man had ever seen him. “She . . . spoke to me. She talked about reunions and destruction and genocide, but She never said what She was.” Those feline eyes looked away from Zack, staring at the ground. Even the man’s tentacles drooped with an odd resignation.
Cloud had expected to see something when Sephiroth awoke again: that terrifying madness that had destroyed his hometown, anger at being bound, remorse at the destruction he caused . . . not this odd hollowness. Even the pride that had always held Sephiroth’s head high had vanished, leaving the man slumped and broken.
Was Cloud supposed to be angry? Was he supposed to scream at him, yell at him for the trust he had broken, the lives he had taken? Was he supposed to cry?
All Cloud could do was stare at Sephiroth, feeling the same hollowness echoed in those green eyes gnawing at his guts. No, he didn’t believe Sephiroth was responsible. But the only person who could have been responsible was already dead.
What was he supposed to do?
Of course, Zack knew. He slithered-for there was no other word for it-over to Sephiroth, pulling Cloud along with him. One arm wrapped securely around Cloud, Zack reached out with his free hand and touched a materia in Sephiroth’s arm bangle. With a hiss, the binds around Sephiroth’s wrists and tentacles vanished, but the man himself made no attempt to move. Undeterred, Zack pulled Cloud so the pair was resting beside Sephiroth.
“Are you in control now?” Zack asked quietly, and Cloud flinched at the question.
Sephiroth, however, did not. He never even looked up. “For the moment. I can still hear Her voice. She wants me to go back to the reactor, to finish what I began.” No one needed further clarification on that.
Out of the trio, Zack seemed the steadiest. He didn’t even seem bothered by his tentacles anymore. Cloud didn’t know how he could not be, but he wasn’t going to complain. He was sore and everything ached, but Sephiroth’s dead eyes kept him from resting his head against Zack’s chest and going to sleep.
“Can you maintain control?” Zack persisted, his voice still calm, blameless.
After only a moment’s hesitation, Sephiroth nodded. “Long enough.”
Zack’s arm tightened convulsively around Cloud, and the blond glanced between the two in bewilderment. Long enough? For a cure to be found? Remembering Hojo’s words, he grimaced. How would Sephiroth react to that news?
Zack’s next words confused Cloud more. “It wasn’t your fault. We both know that. It was Jenova’s, whatever that bitch is. It wasn’t your fault.”
Zack reached out, as if to wrap his free arm around Sephiroth, and for the first time, the man reacted: Sephiroth jerked back against the wall as if Zack had struck him. Cloud flinched, which only made Sephiroth press harder against the cave wall. Zack stared at the pair, an emotion that Cloud refused to identify darkening his eyes.
“It wasn’t your fault,” Zack repeated quietly. “You couldn’t control what happened, no more than you could control these forming.” He waved at his tentacles, and they seemed to wave back. Sephiroth’s remained limp in the dirt. “We think that all of the SOLDIERs had that thing injected in us.”
Remnants of old conversations ran through Cloud’s mind, warnings about Hojo, Zack whispering reasons and threats and countless other things about the dark secrets surrounding Sephiroth’s inhuman strength.
As if reading Cloud’s mind, Sephiroth laughed, a hoarse, bitter sound. It was so soft that it didn’t even echo through the small cave. His tentacles remained lifeless. “He had me longer than the other SOLDIERs. He’s been injecting me with Her cells all my life.”
“Which only means that you had less ability to fight back,” Zack retorted firmly. “But now you know the threat. We can make plans now.”
Sephiroth raised his head, staring incredulously at Zack. “I destroyed his village, Zack!” he hissed. He nodded at Cloud as he spoke, but he never met Cloud’s eyes. “I killed all of those people. I-”
Zack’s tentacle covered Sephiroth’s mouth just like it covered Cloud’s earlier. “You were another victim!” he snapped. “You couldn’t control that, no more than you could control Hojo’s experimentation. It was Jenova who did that, not you, and now we have to figure out how to keep this from happening again!”
Cloud had never felt more small or insignificant in his life as he listened to the two men speak. He remembered collapsing in the village earlier, the image of his mother’s corpse burning his eyes. As he wept over that like a child, Zack had been helping the survivors and charging after Sephiroth, uncaring of his own fate. Even when he transformed in the reactor, he didn’t stop, still fighting and trying to bring some sort of resolution to the tragedy.
Feeling like a child at the adults’ table, Cloud clenched his fists. He couldn’t be helpless. He couldn’t be a burden to them!
“You transformed because of your proximity to Jenova,” Cloud interrupted softly. Both Sephiroth and Zack immediately silenced, and Cloud resisted the urge to hide in Zack’s tentacles. The very urge made him want to laugh, and he could sense the hysteria building in him. Stubbornly, he forced it away. “Everything happened because of close proximity to Jenova.” He took a deep breath and forced himself to look up. Only Zack met his gaze. “I’ve never had any injections. If I could get back to the reactor, maybe I could . . . I dunno . . . drop her in the reactor or something.”
Before he finished, Zack was nodding, an oddly satisfied smile on his lips. “The Turks won’t expect any of us to go back to the reactor. We’ll have to do that tomorrow.”
Cloud stared at him, a question concerning the ‘we’ on the tip of his tongue. Instead, he asked, “Tomorrow?”
Zack smiled gently at him. “You’re shaking and pale, Spike,” he said softly. “You’ve had one hell of a day. Yeah. Tomorrow.”
Cloud wanted to protest but one look at his hands stopped him. They were trembling, and he quickly clenched them.
Useless. Again.
“I’m sorry.” Sephiroth’s voice made Cloud look away from his hands. The silver-haired man still wasn’t looking at him, gaze focused on the ground. Cloud gritted his teeth, hating the look of resignation on Sephiroth’s face. “I am the cause of your pain today. You are free to take any justice you feel is necessary.”
“Sephiroth,” Zack started, and Cloud stared at them both. The words sounded simple, but none of it was making any sense to Cloud. He had heard the entire conversation-was so close he couldn’t help but hear it-but it seemed to go entirely over his head.
“I already did,” he said, and Zack shut up. Both men stared at him in confusion, and he explained, “I shot him. He’s food for the wolves by now.”
As Sephiroth stared, actually looking at his face for the first time, Zack abruptly laughed. The dark-haired man jumped a little, as if the noise had surprised him, too, but didn’t stop. “Hojo,” he said with a chuckle. “Yeah. I guess you did get your revenge, didn’t you?”
Cloud felt his face flush as Sephiroth continued staring. Not for the first time, it hit him that it wasn’t his revenge to take. Whatever had been done to his village, Hojo had been Sephiroth’s to kill. Cloud had stolen that from him.
And the worse part was that Cloud hadn’t killed him in the name of revenge. Cloud had simply needed a distraction.
“I’m sorry,” he whispered. Unable to look at those oddly vulnerable green eyes anymore, Cloud closed his own eyes.
Next Part