The lost fandom
I went shopping for Sven's birthday presents yesterday and ended up having this exchange over some DVDs I'm getting him:
Salesman: "Would you like me to gift wrap them?"
Me: "No thanks, I like to wrap stuff myself."
S: "Makes it harder to guess what it is too. Clever."
M: "Well, you know, he's probably gonna know it's not a pony..."
S: "Who's to say? Maybe a tiny one."
M: "Heh, yeah, or as an assembly kit."
S: "Or one of those future ponies you just stick in the microwave!"
M: "5th Element reference. Nice!"
And I know it's kinda sad, but it made me really happy! First of all, because I was such a huge fan of The 5th Element when it came out that I went to see it five times while it was still in theaters - no exaggeration! And for years afterwards, I had various 5th Element pictures on my desktop. I even bought the soundtrack! But second, because it made me realize that I can't remember the last time I had a conversation that wasn't about the business, housework, or family. And while there's nothing wrong with that, it felt really good to have that little bit of effortless ping-pong that somehow HAD to end in a random fandom reference, and I think that's what I've been missing most of all. I lost interest in fangirling because that became a chore to me too. And because I've always been a little bit embarrassed about the pervy aspects of it. And because it's hard to explain to someone who doesn't intuitively get it.
But somewhere out in the black, it became all work and no play for me, and it made me a very dull girl indeed. And then I stumbled upon some really wonderful Firefly fanfic*, and it gave me the desire to get back into the W/R world and I've been reading and re-reading stories in the old WRFA, and while there's still a lot of really frustrating fanfic out there, there is some really good stuff too. And maybe, just maybe, I might try my hand at my old unpublished and abandoned story. I don't expect to heighten the level of quality in fanfic - I don't think that highly of myself. Mostly just to give my brain something to do. To maybe keep this feeling of elation that fandom brings, that I needed to be reminded of.
So thanks, random sales guy! You made my day. As did Billy Joel this morning when I realized he had actually worked the second movement of Beethoven's Pathétique Sonata into his song "This Night" and thereby managed to combine two of my absolute favorite things. Goosebumps, you guys. I was that happy. If the song had been about pirates and rubber ducks, I'm pretty sure my head would've exploded. :)
*Firefly fanfic links for the curious:
hiddensynapse's The Wheels Turn In Silence - even if you don't ship JayLee, this is well worth a read.
heverus's Namesake - about the story behind Jayne's favorite gun, Vera. This is a WIP and it's only two chapters in, but all the same, it's delightful and worth reading, even on the off chance that it won't be finished.
Salesman: "Would you like me to gift wrap them?"
Me: "No thanks, I like to wrap stuff myself."
S: "Makes it harder to guess what it is too. Clever."
M: "Well, you know, he's probably gonna know it's not a pony..."
S: "Who's to say? Maybe a tiny one."
M: "Heh, yeah, or as an assembly kit."
S: "Or one of those future ponies you just stick in the microwave!"
M: "5th Element reference. Nice!"
And I know it's kinda sad, but it made me really happy! First of all, because I was such a huge fan of The 5th Element when it came out that I went to see it five times while it was still in theaters - no exaggeration! And for years afterwards, I had various 5th Element pictures on my desktop. I even bought the soundtrack! But second, because it made me realize that I can't remember the last time I had a conversation that wasn't about the business, housework, or family. And while there's nothing wrong with that, it felt really good to have that little bit of effortless ping-pong that somehow HAD to end in a random fandom reference, and I think that's what I've been missing most of all. I lost interest in fangirling because that became a chore to me too. And because I've always been a little bit embarrassed about the pervy aspects of it. And because it's hard to explain to someone who doesn't intuitively get it.
But somewhere out in the black, it became all work and no play for me, and it made me a very dull girl indeed. And then I stumbled upon some really wonderful Firefly fanfic*, and it gave me the desire to get back into the W/R world and I've been reading and re-reading stories in the old WRFA, and while there's still a lot of really frustrating fanfic out there, there is some really good stuff too. And maybe, just maybe, I might try my hand at my old unpublished and abandoned story. I don't expect to heighten the level of quality in fanfic - I don't think that highly of myself. Mostly just to give my brain something to do. To maybe keep this feeling of elation that fandom brings, that I needed to be reminded of.
So thanks, random sales guy! You made my day. As did Billy Joel this morning when I realized he had actually worked the second movement of Beethoven's Pathétique Sonata into his song "This Night" and thereby managed to combine two of my absolute favorite things. Goosebumps, you guys. I was that happy. If the song had been about pirates and rubber ducks, I'm pretty sure my head would've exploded. :)
*Firefly fanfic links for the curious:
hiddensynapse's The Wheels Turn In Silence - even if you don't ship JayLee, this is well worth a read.
heverus's Namesake - about the story behind Jayne's favorite gun, Vera. This is a WIP and it's only two chapters in, but all the same, it's delightful and worth reading, even on the off chance that it won't be finished.