Subject....

[timmyd82]

eh, i dont know what i should have done for a title, lol i was just lmao becuz someone i worked with made something and instead of asking me to come a taste it, he brings it to me on a spoon...doing this gay thing that he does to be funny sometimes...its too funny sometimes...lol. anyways, i wanted to post a poem to see what u all think about it

Comments

[penguin85]

Very cute! If you want some writerly advice: The third sentence, change to "With this new hope, the night sky shines brilliantly." You don't need "tonight", it's already understood you need that. The fourth sentence, end after "sky like this." Then start a new sentence with "In return". In the last sentence (I think this is just a typo but I'll point it out anyways) it should be "night sky", not "sky night". Oh, and I don't think you need "this". I also think (or wonder), does the sky...etc.

Anyways, hope those help! I like it a lot, very cute and romantic.

[timmyd82]

hey someone commented...and sky night was a typo, but thanks for the advice...i got bored and posted on the avatar comment and read them all...i have no life out here...=)

[ghetto_booty07]

Hey...I just noticed that I am one of your friends...and I just wondering why you added me?? Or if it was a mistake or something. I don't mind that you did, I was just wondering.

[timmyd82]

well just wanted to, can never have too many friends, and to know a little about u as well, if u dont mind...

[ghetto_booty07]

NO, I totally don't mind. I was just wondering because I had no idea who you were. I totally don't care though.

[timmyd82]

oh yeah, that might help...*scratches head* its tim from myspace...sorry