.075 [Video]

[timesbureaucrat]

[Well Dressed Filter (Arthur, Parker, Una, Brax (reluctantly), and anyone else who's got fashion sense and shows it. Except Moriarty, because they had a ridiculous fashion bitch-fest earlier. (NB: Kay probably made this filter, because Narvin probably wouldn't know good fashion if it hit him in the face. He thinks O'Brien's old coveralls are

Comments

[Private]

[most_feared]

If he tries to bring it up, I'll speak on your behalf. Because I know you took your job as a protector very seriously. Even if you got a damn weird way of going about it sometimes.

[Private]

[timesbureaucrat]

Thank you.

...I do have to admit I'd be angry as well if someone had armed Ardent before I got him. Or worse, the Master. I'm not going to arm her again or get her poison and I explained why. I did tell her I'd try to protect her if she were attacked...but I'd do that for anyone. Well, almost anyone. [The Leela-resemblance just makes the urge to protect a little more personal.]

[Private]

[most_feared]

Why did she want poison?

[...FUCK Now he's curious. Fuck. Don't fucking encourage him.]

Yeah, the Leela thing is what I would explain because I don't think you ever would. But it's something people understand, Narvin. They understand being scared, or being reminded of someone they care about. That's what they get.

[Private]

[timesbureaucrat]

For Arthas. [And that's all he needs to say to explain why he was initially receptive to the idea. Arthas leaving him damaged beyond repair in the stairwell for Kay to euthanize is still one of the worst experiences in his lives.]

Giving out that sort of personal information...it's difficult. My training and my instincts say it's dangerous. That it opens myself up to people taking advantage. That it's safer to be hated than understood. [He sighs.] I suppose I need to work on that. [He says matter-of-factly, like it's a mechanical flaw to be repaired.]

Private

[mrs_persson]

With what?

Private

[timesbureaucrat]

Clothes. And the acquisition thereof. I tried to ask the Admiral before, but apparently I wasn't specific enough. The resulting garments I was was given...

[He holds up a marching band jacket in one hand and a pair of flower print bell bottoms in the other.]

Unfortunately, I don't know human fashion well enough to know precisely what to ask for.

Private (in which we discover that both Una and her mun are clotheshorses)

[mrs_persson]

[Una presses her hand to her mouth to cover a smile.]

Well. Clearly we need to find you some suits. And a few more casual pieces as well, perhaps.

I'd advise some plain white dress shirts, perhaps some in Oxford blue as well. [She gives him a thoughtful look.] Two-button suit, I think, one black, one charcoal, one navy-that should cover all possible purposes. Some cashmere sweaters for when it gets cold, in plain colours. Short-sleeved dress shirts and linen trousers for hot weather-again, simple colours like white, cream, or khaki.

[Pause. She realises she's infodumping like crazy.] I'm sorry; I don't mean to overwhelm.

Private (it is just what Narvin needs)

[timesbureaucrat]

[Narvin is furiously taking notes. This all seems like very good advice, and specific enough that the Admiral couldn't misinterpret with something awful.]

For the sweaters, what colours constitute "plain?" [Forgive him, he's worn nothing but black and white for a very long time.]

[Filter.]

[you_run_i_chase]

With what?

[Filter.]

[timesbureaucrat]

I need to get some replacement clothes before I'm reduced to wearing the Doctor's question mark pullover with Dr. Lewis' too-long trousers. I tried asking the Admiral before, but apparently wasn't specific enough.

...[He makes a face.]... The ballgown was probably one of the *least* offensive of the garments he offered.

I don't know human clothes well enough to give the sort of precise request the Admiral appears to require from me. I was hoping you could give me some advice.

[Filter.]

[you_run_i_chase]

You need a few good suits. Clearly. Tailored, not off the rack. Go with blacks and grays. But red and gold ties, I know how red is to you.

Also, fucking good shirts. And something for more casual times and working out.

If you're a pussy.

[Parker likes you, Narvin. Really. Hence why that's spoken with a grin.]

[Filter.]

[timesbureaucrat]

[Amused eyebrow raise.]

I'm sure I'm perfectly capable of working out in a suit and tie like real men do. Luke Cage and Emil Blonksy will surely marvel at my clothes-wearing prowess.

[Private]

[timesbureaucrat]

[Narvin is already somewhat regretting putting Brax on the filter.]

You have extensive experience dressing up like a human. [Said with a dismissive tone as if it's a child's game of make-believe Brax plays.] I need to know what they wear for practical, professional attire. Specific names, if you please.

[Private]

[timesbureaucrat]

I don't think a Nazi uniform would go over well here.

I typically do research whenever I find it necessary to wear human clothes. Lacking the Matrix, the most efficient source of information is the people here. Since I don't have a mind probe on me, asking for information seemed the next best approach.

Private

[paradoxlol]

I might be able to help. What do you need?

Private

[timesbureaucrat]

Advice on clothing. My generic request to the Admiral for clothes resulted in...entirely unsuitable garments. [Narvin is *not* going to wear flower print bell bottoms. No matter how desperate he gets.[ I want my next request to be as precise as possible to avoid a repetition of that problem...but I'm not familiar with the specifics of human clothes. Brands, tailoring, fabric, those sorts of things.

Private

[paradoxlol]

[But they'd look SO GOOD ON YOU, NARVIN.]

Well, the most important thing is to get a good foundation of basics going. Shirts, pants, shoes that are functional, can mix and match... And you might want to have your measurements ready, just so the Admiral doesn't pull anything weird with the sizing.

Private (lj, y u hate notifs?)

[timesbureaucrat]

[Narvin is taking notes. Mixing and matching, yes, that sounds good. And not something he'd thought about since he's spent most of the last half-millennium in a uniform or assigned undercover clothes and didn't have to think about what he wore. Although that bit about shoes stops him.]

Aren't non-functional shoes...broken shoes?