Yes, much better now. And back to the discussion --
Well, as you might imagine, the mood lifted immensely when I found the Tharil communication terminal amidst my possessions and was able to make contact with others, including the Doctor.
Ah, the Doctor. The instrument of my discovery that there are worlds outside of my own, the renegade mentor who showed me that Time Lords can be so much more than the academic living dead... He truly is the ultimate beneficent-subversive, you know. And I was utterly seduced by these qualities. In a mental capacity, you understand. There were times when the possibility of something physical hung between us in an extremely palpable manner...but I never took the step that would have made such occur. I think I loosened up quite a bit after my first regeneration, but perhaps not enough.
After I left him...for many fine, socially-active reasons that seemed very noble at the time. And they were noble, and my work was needed and important. But I know that a large part of my motivation to depart was
( ... )
That is exactly what I mean. Mind, emotions, bodies. Spirits, if you believe that sort of thing. Or any combination, thereof, depending on the level of intimacy desired. For some it's just a sharing of desire alone, feeling the sexual impulses and wants of the other. That's best for one night encounters, so they aren't left feeling bereft after.
He is grateful for the ability for purely selfish reasons, and understanding of the popularity for altruistic ones. He understands what I am, knew before we got involved what it meant, though in truth I would rather include him than not when I venture away from just he and I. But sometimes it's better for him to not be involved, to be sure I don't hurt him.
*Romana stretches, then shakes her head to clear it.*
Great Rassilon -- you're extremely good at establishing rapport. There's quite a few things we've discussed that I don't think I've ever said aloud to anyone.
Truly? Bringing that sort of pleasure to someone else. I can feel it, whether they are connected enough to feel mine or not, and it just makes everything that much more intense for me.
The only thing even close is when I'm playing and the audience is loving it and for that moment, time stops and just hangs there in absolute perfection.
I can understand that -- I have never been a performer, but I have known those who are, and they described having similar feelings. I think the most exhilarating times I have spent were ones where I was 'out in the field', so to speak, doing something important. Making progress, righting wrongs, solving puzzles upon which the wellbeing of many depended. Actually living and accomplishing something. The Doctor showed me that was possible, and I've never looked back.
Actually living is the greatest gift there is, I think. Finding your passion, whatever it is, and bringing it to everything you do until it makes everything about you light up.
Lately, my passion has been to get off of this isolated moon. Although I can't complain about the look of my surroundings. It's very lovely, and I could just have easily woken up on some blazing desert world. Being able to communicate helps things a great deal, but communication stirs the mind to want to be mobile once more.
That will come in time, however. I need to be patient, although not apathetic. Soon, I hope, more of my TARDIS will respond with some power, and we'll start making real progress on that front.
When there is no choice but to stay in one place, one makes the best of it that one can. Although I admit that before I found it possible to make contact via this communicator, I was not in a terribly good state of things
( ... )
Well, as you might imagine, the mood lifted immensely when I found the Tharil communication terminal amidst my possessions and was able to make contact with others, including the Doctor.
Ah, the Doctor. The instrument of my discovery that there are worlds outside of my own, the renegade mentor who showed me that Time Lords can be so much more than the academic living dead... He truly is the ultimate beneficent-subversive, you know. And I was utterly seduced by these qualities. In a mental capacity, you understand. There were times when the possibility of something physical hung between us in an extremely palpable manner...but I never took the step that would have made such occur. I think I loosened up quite a bit after my first regeneration, but perhaps not enough.
After I left him...for many fine, socially-active reasons that seemed very noble at the time. And they were noble, and my work was needed and important. But I know that a large part of my motivation to depart was ( ... )
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*Romana stretches, then shakes her head to clear it.*
Great Rassilon -- you're extremely good at establishing rapport. There's quite a few things we've discussed that I don't think I've ever said aloud to anyone.
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It is another one of my skills. People should be comfortable. Unless they're uncomfortable in a pleasant way.
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The only thing even close is when I'm playing and the audience is loving it and for that moment, time stops and just hangs there in absolute perfection.
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That will come in time, however. I need to be patient, although not apathetic. Soon, I hope, more of my TARDIS will respond with some power, and we'll start making real progress on that front.
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I do hope so. Have you any notion what's wrong with it?
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