Title: Inner Demons
Fandom: RPS
Characters/Pairings: Jensen Ackles and Jared Padalecki
Prompt: 018. Black.
fanfic100 table:
hereWord Count: 1,605
Rating: NC-17
Warnings: Sex and language
Summary: Season 9 takes its toll on Jensen. Jared helps him come back to himself.
Black. That was the color of Dean’s eyes at the end of the season. A deep, dark black. Jared took Jensen home that night and crowded in close, looking for the green he knew to really be there. They were standing there in the living room, Jared smoothing a thumb over Jensen’s stubble before Jensen backed away. He was tired, and Jared had to hand it to him. Where season 8 had been rough for Jared, season 9 had been so for Jensen. Jared remembered all too well the way Jensen had worried over him playing Sam through the trials, bringing the character home.
This season, Dean had been coming home. Jensen didn’t even like it, but it had happened. All Jared could do was watch Jensen, coach him, tell him he was great and that there were only a few episodes left. But these last few weeks had taken their toll, Jared and Misha struggling to hold Jensen back in a scene where Dean was driven to kill.
It wasn’t as if Jared had gotten off easy. He’d held a lifeless Jensen in his arms and cried his heart out. But that was why now was so important. He needed to see Jensen, and to help him slip back into his normal self.
“It’s over,” Jared murmured, dragging his feet as he moved towards Jensen, stopping when Jensen’s back hit the wall. “You can relax now.”
“I know. I know, I’m just…” Jensen looked up at him, a little helpless and still a little Dean, his body tense.
Jared nodded, leaning in only to press a kiss to Jensen’s temple. “Why don’t we just go to bed?” He took Jensen’s hand, and Jensen followed him, heavy and sluggish, almost reluctant. They hadn’t been together physically in a long time, Jensen not wanting the character bleed to run into their intimacy. Not with Dean so dark and violent.
They undressed and slept beside each other, enough to feel the other’s warmth, but not tangled together, as Jared would have preferred. But, while patience wasn’t always his strong suit, he could be patient for this. He drifted off just listening to the sound of Jensen’s breathing.
Oddly enough, Jensen was the first to wake, turning from his back to his side, facing Jared. He thought he’d need more sleep, but he felt rested and finally a little more normal. He took in the sight of Jared, lying there on his back, the sheets resting at his hips. He sighed and closed his eyes again, but his hand reached out, smoothing up over Jared’s abs and coming to rest over his heart. Jared stirred a little, sighing and turning his head towards Jensen, eyes slowly opening.
“Hey,” Jensen murmured, shifting a bit closer and rubbing over Jared’s chest, soft hairs tickling his palm.
Jared smiled softly. “Hey.”
They sat in silence for a while, until Jensen moved and bumped his forehead up against Jared’s. “I’ve missed you.”
“I’ve missed you, too,” Jared answered, turning his body towards Jensen and pulling him closer. It was easy to see that Jensen felt bad, and Jared smiled, thumb rubbing over Jensen’s stubble again. “It’s alright. I knew you’d be back.”
Jensen smiled then, and Jared’s heart leapt. “Can we just do this for as long as possible?” Jensen asked, pushing a leg between Jared’s. “I swear, I don’t know how I’m gonna function whenever I start workin’ with someone else.”
Jared laughed. “You’ll still come home to me!”
“Yeah, I know, but it’s not the same.” Jensen looked at Jared, bright, green eyes exploring his. “You...understand everything.”
“Let’s not worry about it,” Jared said, pushing at Jensen’s shoulder. “Besides, I don’t have to understand anything. You’re not obligated to fuck me.”
“Mmm, but I’ve missed that, too.” Jensen’s smile turned to a grin, hand reaching around to cup Jared’s ass.
Jared laughed and pushed at Jensen again. “Isn’t it a bit early for you, old man?” Jensen punched him, and they started wrestling, limbs and sheets tangling together as they laughed and lost their breath. It ended when Jared playfully bit at Jensen’s neck, complete with exaggerated growling noises, Jensen flipping him onto his back and looming over him.
There was a pause, their hearts beating with adrenaline, Jensen’s eyes showing uncertainty again before he leaned down to kiss Jared, moaning at just the simple touch of their lips. He dropped his full body down onto Jared’s, hips grinding down, Jared bucking as Jensen’s hard dick slipped over his own.
Jared wanted to revel in the taste of Jensen, Jensen’s tongue making a broad stroke over his own, but his patience was wearing thing, Jensen thrusting against him with more vigor now. He reached down, hands palming and squeezing Jensen’s ass, urging Jensen on even as he broke the kiss, panting.
“Fuck me.”
Jensen’s hips stuttered, and then his movement halted. Jared swallowed a whine and looked up at Jensen, eyes pleading. He could see that Jensen wanted to, more than anything, but there was still that hesitance, that wariness when it came to being in control. Jared didn’t need to think about it any longer. He flipped Jensen over onto his back and nipped at his neck again.
“Let me.”
Jared was scrambling for the bedside drawer, the sheets twisted around his legs. He kicked them off, grabbing for the lube and nothing else. He was tired of waiting. He opened it and messily squeezed a generous amount out onto his fingers, some ending up on the bed as he tossed the bottle aside. He reached back to open himself up, bottom lip between his teeth as he pushed a finger inside. He knew Jensen was watching, but he didn’t look at him; just made sure to loosen up, spread himself wide, pushing noises past his lips for Jensen’s enjoyment.
He finally looked at Jensen when he pulled his fingers free, Jensen’s face and chest flushed, lips parted, hand around his dick, thick and leaking onto his stomach. Jared kept eye contact with Jensen, even as he moved to straddle him, fingers reaching for Jensen’s dick.
“Is this alright?” Jared breathed, because for all his impatience and his want, he still wouldn’t force it if the time wasn’t right. But Jensen smoothed his hands up Jared’s thighs, nodding and giving him a small smile.
Jared held Jensen in place, guiding their bodies together. He closed his eyes and sucked in a breath as he felt himself opening around the head of Jensen’s dick, hot and smooth. He gasped as he lowered himself further, leaning forward a bit, free hand braced on Jensen’s waist, nails digging in. Jensen groaned, but didn’t move, let Jared keep control, his hands rubbing continuously over Jared’s thighs, friction over the muscles there. Jared took a moment when he finally had all of Jensen inside him, both hands now on Jensen’s body as he breathed deeply, taking in the full feeling that he’d missed.
“I love you,” Jensen said, voice shaky. Jared opened his eyes to find Jensen staring up at him with the love he’d known for 10 years now, and he shuddered, clenching around Jensen and moaning. He moved slowly, body rolling on top of Jensen’s, feeling every hard inch of Jensen’s dick. He pushed his lube-slick hand up to Jensen’s chest, thumb pressing hard and rolling over Jensen’s nipple. The next word out of Jensen’s mouth was “please,” followed by a whimper, hips thrusting up into Jared.
Jared groaned at the way Jensen pressed into him, pleasure shooting up his spine, dick twitching against his stomach. He arched back, lifting up and down, feeling Jensen slip out and push back in. And then he held tight to Jensen, palms slipping on Jensen’s body until his nails dug in again, and he moved harder, faster. He kissed Jensen, grinding down, wanting it deeper, always deeper, whimpering as Jensen rose to meet him. He tightened around Jensen, and Jensen cursed and arched beneath him, eyes rolling closed.
Jensen was panting, sweating, Jared glistening above him. He wouldn’t last long, not like this, not after waiting. He wrapped his hand around Jared’s dick and was rewarded with a pleasured cry, Jared clenching around him again. He was straining, trying to hold on, but he could feel the pressure building, the ache in his balls, and he came on gasping, heaving breaths, Jared so perfect, so tight, and now perfectly wet. He shivered through the aftershocks, then relaxed against the bed, trying to catch his breath. Jared let him slip free and nuzzled into his neck, kissing and still nipping, and Jensen realized that he’d let go, and Jared hadn’t come yet. He reached back between them and got a firm grip on Jared’s dick again, Jared grunting and thrusting into the tight circle of Jensen’s hand. A few more strokes, and Jared was shaking, satisfied moans muffled against Jensen’s skin, the warmth of his come covering them both.
Jared was practically lifeless on top Jensen then, and he smiled, trailing his fingers up and down Jared’s spine. “Better?”
“Mmm,” Jared answered, kissing Jensen’s neck again. He rolled off of Jensen but snuggled up beside him. “You?”
“Very,” Jensen said, yawning.
Jared chuckled. “Very better?”
“Yeah, why not?”
Jensen knew they should get cleaned up, that he’d regret falling asleep again like this. But, then again, he didn’t care. He was home and was himself again, with Jared, and this bed was the only place he wanted to be.