Fic: "The Last Trial"
Title: The Last Trial
Rating: G
Pairing: Nine/Rose
In dreams, it was easy. He didn't have to wonder how to approach her, how she would react, what it would mean. How things would change. He didn't have to overanalyze his own reactions, responses, figure out what he wanted and why. She was beautiful and he wanted her near. It was that simple.
He slept, deep and dreaming, alone in his small bed, his unfinished room. In his mind's eye, they had just chased a comet on its final fast approach to a burning star, the TARDIS spinning madly around it to keep pace, the tail bright and huge and luminous, the two of them holding onto the console for dear life and laughing madly. He pulled down the handbrake hard and the TARDIS pulled up at the last moment, like a rocket, and the two of them fell to the floor, eyes still glued to the screen as the comet's tail blazed upward, intertwining with a huge solar flare.
They laughed and gasped for breath, lying next to each other. Then he reached out with one hand -- her chin felt so small cradled in his palm as he turned her face toward his, her lips soft -- Rose petals, he thought -- under his. There was no surprise, no awkwardness, just --
A sudden light. And then nothing.
The Doctor was standing alone in a brilliant shaft of light, coming from somewhere impossibly far above. All around him was darkness.
"I was enjoyin' that," he said, irritated. He held up a hand to shield his eyes.
A room slowly resolved around him. He'd been here before, but never by choice. The High Council Chambers of Gallifrey.
The Doctor scowled. "Oh, not you lot," he said. "What, you want me to save the day again? Youi're a bit late, there."
Faces were coming clear as the light faded to normal. He recognized them -- all of them. From Borusa all the way back to Rassilon, every illustrious face from the Time Lords' long dead past. If Gallifrey had had a Disneyland, he thought sourly, this must be the Hall of Presidents.
"Oh, I get it," the Doctor said, hands deep in the pockets of his leather jacket. "I'm still dreaming."
"Not quite, Doctor." It was impossible to tell who was speaking. Not a face moved -- they just stared at him, stock still, faces frozen in somber disapproval. The voice was a collective one, from everywhere and nowhere. "What little remains of the great Matrix of Gallifrey -- all the recorded lives of the Time Lords -- is here, deep in the memory banks of your TARDIS. An echo of what once was. Your ship's telepathic circuits -- "
"Yeah, like I said, I'm dreaming." The Doctor smiled widely, but there was no warmth or humor in it. "Get on with it, then. Say your piece. Whatever you've brought me here for."
"Very well. We are concerned, Doctor. About your intentions."
"My intentions?"
" .... Regarding the human female."
There was deadly quiet. When the Doctor spoke again, it was barely louder than a whisper. "She has a name, you know. Her name's Rose Tyler."
"Her name is irrelevant -- "
"Not to me it isn't. Not by half."
"Doctor, please. We don't have much time."
"Well, that's ironic, yeah?" He took a few steps toward the assembled Council. "What about Rose? What about my intentions? Do you even know what they are? 'Cause I don't."
"The intermingling of Time Lords and lesser races is expressly forbidden."
The Doctor paled. "Lesser races? Do you have any idea who you sound like? Don't make me laugh. Anyway, what about Susan? Or Andred?"
So many accusing eyes. "They were not Time Lords, Doctor, as you well know."
"Oh, right, just common-or-garden Gallifreyans. I forgot, you're not just racist, you're classist as well. Anyway." He crossed his arms over his chest. "If we did happen to -- intermingle," he said, drawing out each syllable with disgust, "what business is it of yours?"
"Doctor. You are the last. The last of us." The Council drew in a collective breath. "We had hoped that -- you would respect our ways."
"Yeah? Which ways are those, then? Would that be the, ignore all the pain and suffering in the universe, all the bloodshed, until it comes right to your doorstep and its too bloody late to do anything about it, way? That the one?" His eyes glittered in the imaginary light. "I've got a news flash for you. I left your ways behind a long time ago. I'll -- " His voice caught, since he hadn't said it out loud before. Not even in dreams. "I'll love who I want."
"Then the Time Lords are no more. You are not the last, after all."
"Maybe. Maybe I'm not. I don't know any more." The Doctor threw his hands up in the air. "I'm just doing the best I can, doing what I think is right. There's a huge hole in my head now, all right? That huge gap where all of you used to be. I'm still trying to figure out how to function from day to day without the cold dead grey weight of all of you in the back of my head. Now I have my own head to sort out, my own feelings. Rose reminds me I'm still alive, that I can still feel." His mouth twisted into a smirk. "What use are emotions, if I can't love the woman who saved me?"
There was no answer to that. "Maybe with you gone, I'm not a Time Lord anymore," the Doctor said. "Maybe I don't know what I am. But I know one thing."
The Doctor walked forward, and down the row of dead eyes. "You lost any hold you had on me a long time ago. And now you're dead. And I'm not."
The voices of the dead were silent.
He let out a long sigh, let the tension drop from his shoulders. "Right. I'd like to wake up now. If you don't mind."
The column of light snapped back on behind him. He started to walk toward it.
"Oh, one more thing," the Doctor said, turning around to face them again. He pointed a finger at them. "If you lot come poking around in my head like this again, I'll find this little echo in the TARDIS databanks and delete it. Right? Is that understood?"
There was a murmur, a cacophony of lost voices tumbling together in an undercurrent of sound. Then the single voice found itself again: " .... Yes."
"Right." The Doctor smiled. "Fantastic."
The Doctor stepped into the beam of light, and disappeared back into the waking world, leaving them behind.
_________
Cross-posted to dwfiction, new_who, sortofyeah, and time_and_chips
Rating: G
Pairing: Nine/Rose
In dreams, it was easy. He didn't have to wonder how to approach her, how she would react, what it would mean. How things would change. He didn't have to overanalyze his own reactions, responses, figure out what he wanted and why. She was beautiful and he wanted her near. It was that simple.
He slept, deep and dreaming, alone in his small bed, his unfinished room. In his mind's eye, they had just chased a comet on its final fast approach to a burning star, the TARDIS spinning madly around it to keep pace, the tail bright and huge and luminous, the two of them holding onto the console for dear life and laughing madly. He pulled down the handbrake hard and the TARDIS pulled up at the last moment, like a rocket, and the two of them fell to the floor, eyes still glued to the screen as the comet's tail blazed upward, intertwining with a huge solar flare.
They laughed and gasped for breath, lying next to each other. Then he reached out with one hand -- her chin felt so small cradled in his palm as he turned her face toward his, her lips soft -- Rose petals, he thought -- under his. There was no surprise, no awkwardness, just --
A sudden light. And then nothing.
The Doctor was standing alone in a brilliant shaft of light, coming from somewhere impossibly far above. All around him was darkness.
"I was enjoyin' that," he said, irritated. He held up a hand to shield his eyes.
A room slowly resolved around him. He'd been here before, but never by choice. The High Council Chambers of Gallifrey.
The Doctor scowled. "Oh, not you lot," he said. "What, you want me to save the day again? Youi're a bit late, there."
Faces were coming clear as the light faded to normal. He recognized them -- all of them. From Borusa all the way back to Rassilon, every illustrious face from the Time Lords' long dead past. If Gallifrey had had a Disneyland, he thought sourly, this must be the Hall of Presidents.
"Oh, I get it," the Doctor said, hands deep in the pockets of his leather jacket. "I'm still dreaming."
"Not quite, Doctor." It was impossible to tell who was speaking. Not a face moved -- they just stared at him, stock still, faces frozen in somber disapproval. The voice was a collective one, from everywhere and nowhere. "What little remains of the great Matrix of Gallifrey -- all the recorded lives of the Time Lords -- is here, deep in the memory banks of your TARDIS. An echo of what once was. Your ship's telepathic circuits -- "
"Yeah, like I said, I'm dreaming." The Doctor smiled widely, but there was no warmth or humor in it. "Get on with it, then. Say your piece. Whatever you've brought me here for."
"Very well. We are concerned, Doctor. About your intentions."
"My intentions?"
" .... Regarding the human female."
There was deadly quiet. When the Doctor spoke again, it was barely louder than a whisper. "She has a name, you know. Her name's Rose Tyler."
"Her name is irrelevant -- "
"Not to me it isn't. Not by half."
"Doctor, please. We don't have much time."
"Well, that's ironic, yeah?" He took a few steps toward the assembled Council. "What about Rose? What about my intentions? Do you even know what they are? 'Cause I don't."
"The intermingling of Time Lords and lesser races is expressly forbidden."
The Doctor paled. "Lesser races? Do you have any idea who you sound like? Don't make me laugh. Anyway, what about Susan? Or Andred?"
So many accusing eyes. "They were not Time Lords, Doctor, as you well know."
"Oh, right, just common-or-garden Gallifreyans. I forgot, you're not just racist, you're classist as well. Anyway." He crossed his arms over his chest. "If we did happen to -- intermingle," he said, drawing out each syllable with disgust, "what business is it of yours?"
"Doctor. You are the last. The last of us." The Council drew in a collective breath. "We had hoped that -- you would respect our ways."
"Yeah? Which ways are those, then? Would that be the, ignore all the pain and suffering in the universe, all the bloodshed, until it comes right to your doorstep and its too bloody late to do anything about it, way? That the one?" His eyes glittered in the imaginary light. "I've got a news flash for you. I left your ways behind a long time ago. I'll -- " His voice caught, since he hadn't said it out loud before. Not even in dreams. "I'll love who I want."
"Then the Time Lords are no more. You are not the last, after all."
"Maybe. Maybe I'm not. I don't know any more." The Doctor threw his hands up in the air. "I'm just doing the best I can, doing what I think is right. There's a huge hole in my head now, all right? That huge gap where all of you used to be. I'm still trying to figure out how to function from day to day without the cold dead grey weight of all of you in the back of my head. Now I have my own head to sort out, my own feelings. Rose reminds me I'm still alive, that I can still feel." His mouth twisted into a smirk. "What use are emotions, if I can't love the woman who saved me?"
There was no answer to that. "Maybe with you gone, I'm not a Time Lord anymore," the Doctor said. "Maybe I don't know what I am. But I know one thing."
The Doctor walked forward, and down the row of dead eyes. "You lost any hold you had on me a long time ago. And now you're dead. And I'm not."
The voices of the dead were silent.
He let out a long sigh, let the tension drop from his shoulders. "Right. I'd like to wake up now. If you don't mind."
The column of light snapped back on behind him. He started to walk toward it.
"Oh, one more thing," the Doctor said, turning around to face them again. He pointed a finger at them. "If you lot come poking around in my head like this again, I'll find this little echo in the TARDIS databanks and delete it. Right? Is that understood?"
There was a murmur, a cacophony of lost voices tumbling together in an undercurrent of sound. Then the single voice found itself again: " .... Yes."
"Right." The Doctor smiled. "Fantastic."
The Doctor stepped into the beam of light, and disappeared back into the waking world, leaving them behind.
_________
Cross-posted to dwfiction, new_who, sortofyeah, and time_and_chips