Log - Hong Kong AVALANCHE Throwdown, Part 1
Observe the amazing fight between Two Gorgons, Their Pet Fuzzy Demon, and An Innocent Old Man!
WHO: Aerith, Cait Sith, Old Man Li, Tifa Lockheart, Yuffie Kisagari
WHERE: A humble shop in Feng Shui's Hong Kong
WHEN: Technically Saturday, April 8th
WHAT: AVALANCHE, looking for some money, looks to make some cash looting thugs engaged in a martial arts gang war. Old Man Li is both old and angry at all the ruckus. Things spiral out of control from there.
Watch For: Yuffie's Fury, Aerith's Little Friends, And The Two Reasons Reeve Is A Dead Man Someday.
Ahhhhh! Hong Kong! It's really a happening city! You'd think that someone looking for peace and quiet wouldn't move INTO Hong Kong. Still, no one ever said that Old Man Li was /normal/. His Grandson, especially. Still, said Lazy Grandson is out running errands, leaving his poor venerable grandfather alone to tend the humble family noodle shop!
Regardless of the Woes of the Venerable Elder of the Li Family, who is currently tending to his humble shop, muttering in annoyance at the slowness of his grandson, there are OTHER THINGS afoot! In this case.../Street Hooligans/. Not just Normal Street Hooligans...but...
/Martial Arts Street Hooligans/. For some odd reason, there seems to be two large groups of them gathering on the streets near said Humble Li Noodle Shop, glaring at each other and muttering! Wut oh! Looks like trouble's brewing! Granted, because at least two secret societies bent on taking control of various Feng Shui sites for their own use are behind the impending brawl and trying to edge the other group out, but, such things are of no consequence! It's merely another lovely day in Hong Kong, with Martial Arts Hooligans, Old Men, Neon Street Signs, and all the other lovely ingredients for Chaos!
A length of metal taps on a red jacket, obeying some deep and inner rhythm.
Lips move slightly around a length of rice straw.
Aerith walks around a corner, feeling sore and tired - coming into town from an interdimensional portal out in the boondocks when you don't have any cash is a pain in the foot. She looks tired and thus, perhaps, a little older, although her eyes are as bright as always.
She rounds the corner and pauses, turning to look at - Her eyes widen, and she looks to her two companions. "Are those thugs? Those look like thugs. Thugs have money, don't they...?" She sounds a little nervous, perhaps in the face of a moral boundary, but then, robbing the pockets of a trio of SOLDIERS 3rd class didn't bother her.
She shifts the rice straw to the other side of her mouth, and points at the gangs, holding her staff against her shoulder with the other hand. "Then..."
Yuffie looks similarly tired. She's battered and beaten, a few rips(but remarkably less bruises and cuts) marring her form, mostly clothing. Her eyes are narrowed with the universally recognizable signs of exhaustion, twin bags under the set. "Uwa, mor-?" Yuffie's eyes widen, and she shuts her mouth. What Aerith didn't know is that Yuffie had been generally tearing gangsters up for the past few nights... perhaps this is the source of the mystery Gil finding itself into her purse every morning!
But, again... it's taken it's toll on her. She brings her giant, oversized shuriken up to one shoulder, and frowns, a vaguely feminine thing. "Let's leave them alone, Aerith! They're not doing anything! Are they? Look! They're just sitting there!" She points, and, indeed, the gangsters are just sitting there.
Going through some poor man's wallet.
Yuffie looks extremely hopeful. Maybe Aerith won't notice!
Behind Aerith, a larger (or perhaps just wider) shape looms as it rounds the bend, frantically hopping to a standstill as its companions suddenly stop walking. Though tiny, serious button eyes follow Aerith's finger, the massive moogle plushie, slightly dirty and battered, offers only a deep, meaningful silence in response to the Cetra's questions or comments.
The Mog's rider, on the other hand... "Oh, hey, whaddaya know." Cait Sith leans forward, shading his fox eyes with a gloved paw. While he looks a little rough around the edges- cape slightly frayed, fur matted in parts, and white underbelly now a dusty off-white- Cait seems chipper as usual and /definitely/ not tired, despite being up for an ungodly number of hours compared to the two girls. Strange, that.
"If'n by 'just sitting there', y'all mean 'kicking some poor sap's arse'," the cat retorts to Yuffie, sitting back and tapping his megaphone in one hand. Cait eyes the scene thoughtfully before looking back at the two girls with a crooked grin. "Hey, if y'all wanna beat up some thugs, I'm all for it. Mebbe it'd help balance yer bad karma that y'all got /somehow gettin' on someone's wanted list/," he adds. ... is Cait /still/ sore about that?!
Hmmmmm! Hooligans. Can't even be trusted to ignore Random Passerby when psyching up for a gang fight. Hmmph. In Li's day, they had DISCIPLINE. DISCPLINED BRIGANDS, dammit. Bah!
The Gangs, despite the occasional diversion (Such as that mugging) have finally psyched up, and both of them start to move down the street, lining up with a narrow space seperating the two groups. Various Thuggish weapons. Y'know. Nunchuks, the occasional staff, knives, clubs, maybe a chain or two, occasional hatchet or axe. Usual things, really. Well, if you're from Hong Kong. Still, it's time for the traditional Pre-Gang Fight Exchanging of Insults!
"<...You chaps are so inferior that you cannot even dress yourselves without the assistance of your mother, which explains your current mode of dress, as I was entertaining her all evening, along with several of my fellows!>"
""
Aerith feels a brief squirt of guilt. Really, it IS something of a bias; just because their writing looks the same to her eyes doesn't mean it's really the same, and perhaps they use different letters. Heck, they use some kanji in Midgar, even, but that was just the trend after the war...
As the others run forwards, she adjusts some of her Materia a little - 'all' plus 'cure' is a good idea - and says to Cait Sith, "Good!"
Then she lifts her voice over the impending fray as Yuffie makes contact with the enemy. "We're here to protect you, sir!" she practically sings, before squinting into the growing dust cloud to try and make -out- Yuffie.
Yuffie can be seen performing a dynamic, aerial swan-style backflip over the ensuing dust clouds, and practically everybody can hear her screaming in a shrill, eerily annoying tone of voice. She's got both fists wrapped around the other, and is in the process of bringing them down on some guy's head in what must be a weak non-Tifa hammer-blow punch. Then she is lost again. The fact that people in various, disconnected areas of the ensuing mob are shrieking in annoyance and scratching at their eyes futiley is probably a good sign.
Meanwhile, the girl's shuriken has slashed one man across the chest, and slammed into a nearby car in an odd, extremely unlikely result of nature's physics equations at work. There is the slightest hiss of gasoline being released into the air.
Cait Sith's moogle screeches to a halt on the edge of the brawl, while the smaller feline adopts a look of intense concentration as he starts charging up the materia set on the rim of his megaphone. After a handful of seconds, a burst of green fire spins outward as a runed circle spins briefly under the Mog's feet. The bulky Mog suddenly (and impossibly?) hop-skips lightly in place, just as Cait himself pumps a fist and yells "YAH~HOOOOO!"
And then Things Start Happening.
In direct contradiction to today's weather report, three jagged bolts of lightning slam down from the sky, severely electrocuting people on all sides of the Wutai Wonder in a series of painful-sounding crackles. Off to the side, a gang member suddenly twirls around in circles, punching himself in the face before collapsing in a drunken and confused heap, and another unlucky gumbie disappears in a puff of green miasma- a panicked 'ribbit' goes unnoticed in the wake of Yuffie's noisemaking.
"... whew!" Cait Sith then slumps down slightly, gathering his strength for the next barrage. And... is that /steam/ rising from his inert form?
The Old Man twitches as the crazy foreign girl yells something at him. Said Old Man very calmly pulls a pipe out from somewhere, tamps some tobacco into it, lights it with a match, and then puffs at it for a few moments. And then casually steps in between two brawlers, ducks low, and slams poth hands outwards, palms impacting and blowing both men away. Hu Fu Li straightens up, twitching, as he takes in the giant brawl growing across his storespace, puffing away on his pipe furiously.
"It Lunchtime. There no business because stupid insolent delinquent having fight. AND THERE IS NOW NINJA AND SORCERER AND PET DEMON HELPING KEEP FIGHT GOING." Twitch. Course, the thing is, he said that in English.
As for the fihgters...well...the gangers are reeling a bit from the third party. And, while still trying to keep at each other, there are concentrated efforts to catch the screaming ninja girl, despite injuries and downed mooks, while another small group turn and attempt to bum rush Cait Sith and Aerith, striking fairly decent martial arts poses, twirling a variety of nice little weapons. Chains, mostly. Annnnd, then they attack! Wooo!
As for the thugs going after Yuffie, eh, most of 'em are relyin' on good ol' fisticuffs. They're pretty good at it, too!
"What? I'm not a - eeek!" Aerith is beset upon by a crowd of slick-haired Asian thugs. It isn't the first time.
She begins backing away, swinging the staff to try and ward them off. She does not have a great deal of strength in her arms, but she isn't sickly or weak; this is only a holding action, however. Now she wishes she hadn't just adjusted her Materia.
"Cait!" she calls out as Neko Komoogle exhausts himself. With Yuffie gone, it could be all down to her - her lips press together and she hefts up her staff with both hands. A yellow orb glows, and a sudden wind sends her braid back... before she bends backwards, eyes glazing over slightly as the strange magic triggers itself.
Then a large swarm of small, stubby rockets erupt from her back, streaking out towards the thugs. They explode, albeit without terribly great force - on an individual level. "Aaaaahh!!" Aerith squeals; this always feels -almost- like it hurts.
Yuffie is currently fighting valiantly against the swarms of NPC thugs assaulting her, first taking one guy's nunchucks, and then taking a second guy's katana. The result is a tornado of blades and wood, and several *KLUNK* "OW!" *SLASH!* "SHIT!" sequences. By the time she is done, Yuffie stands in the middle of a group of felled warriors, looking... well, extremely proud of herself. She even goes so far as to drop her borrowed sword, and wave to Aerith and Cait.
"Easy! Now we loot them!" Of course, this is when she makes a little "mghgh!" sound, followed by a springy sound, and then... A FROG UPPERCUTS HER IN THE FACE. She falls backwards, the nunchucks sent flying.
Flying... through the air. A deadly, telegraphed arc towards the car spewing prepared gasoline into the air. The heavy wooden staves on either end of the chain slam into the shuriken piercing the thing's gas-tank, sending... a larger gout of gasoline into the air.
Meanwhile, rockets are exploding!
Back in Midgar, Reeve Tuesti is sitting through one of the dreariest meetings in the history of Shinra. It's the weekly board meeting. Of course, since Shinra IS the dominant military, economic, and political force on the Planet, there's not a whole lot to talk about. Thus, Reeve is free to stare off into the distance with a worried look on his face, nod like he's listening to whatever drivel is being discussed in the meeting, feverently drum his oddly-gloved and wire-covered fingers on his leg in an erratic pattern, and mouth words and phrases under his breath. Meanwhile, his peers simply shake their heads sadly and think "Reeve was never the same after they dropped the Plate, the poor man. He's overdue for a vacation."
A few planes away, Cait Sith just sorta stands there as the gang members bum-rush him and Aerith- the cat's slumped over tiredly, while the Moogle, running on autopilot, lifts its arms in a clumsy attempt to block incoming attacks and protect its rider. Such an easy targe-
Cait suddenly whips up his megaphone, ignoring the noisemaker's feedback squeal, and aims it at the gang member's face. "JUST KIDDING!!" he hollers. On cue, the Mog's right arm swings up to try and uppercut the probably-deafened punk, while the plushie twirls on one foot to land a haymaker on the next comer. A pattern forms quickly, consisting mostly of yelling at the top of his lungs and a synchronized punch. "HEY BATTER BATTER-" *THWOK* "-HEY BATTER BATTER-" *THUNK* "SWING!" *POW*
After clearing a small circle around him, Cait Sith hops over towards the Cetra- "HEYA AERITH!" *THWOK* "NEED HELP?" *THUD*- and jumps in to meatshield for her. And then he spots Yuffie... the rockets... and the gasoline. The cat's eyebrow twitches slightly. "Aw, geez- WATCH OUT-!"
"- IT'S GONNA BLOW!!" Reeve blinks as /everyone/ in the room stares at him. Did he really yell that out lo- ... oh. Blushing fiercely, he quickly and calmly excuses himself to go to the bathroom, trying not to listen to the people in there shaking their heads and commenting on how poor Mr. Tuesti is just way too stressed nowadays.
...Oh dear. Old Man Li blinks, sniffing, then glancing at the car, eyes widening. Well, only one thing to do at this point. JUMP. The Old Master vaults an insane distance, landing out of the blast radius on top his shop...just in time to watch the directed blast, due to various factors such as his 0 fortune rating and the lack of his Absurdly Lucky Grandson in the area to counteract it, slam forwards. Luckily, not enough to /kill/ everyone...but enough to roast them all a bit uncomfortably.
And to set the front of his ramen shop on fire. The Old Man starts to /TWITCH/ as he watches the window shatter inwards in hail of glass, and for the cosmetic fripperies such as the nice paper decorations he spent THE LAST WEEK MAKING catch on fire. The Old Man calmly hops down into the middle of the blast area, striding towards the Vile Ninja Succubus Queen who used her obvious Architect techno-magic to explode his shop. A few thugs stagger up, or try to get in his way, and summimarily smashed aside by the furious old man as he strides towards the obvious Ninja Abomination From The Future, eyebrow twitching.
"What are you looking at?" Scarlet says in that same board room, after Reeve has removed himself. She raises one thin-plucked blonde eyebrow.
MEANWHILE:
Aerith feels her ears pop after the explosion, then she sees a man marching towards her. She feels slightly bruised and as such, she does not want to fight him - he seems furious and potentially possessed of much endurance and durability.
An idea strikes her. "Yuffie! Give him a tenth of the cut!" she shouts, partly to make sure Yuffie hears and partly so she can hear it herself.
(New BB message (14/1) posted to 'Daily Spotlight' by Kurz Weber: What)
GAME: Save complete.
As well, the entire Shinra Executive Offices Floor is soon to suffer due to the "under maintenance" status of the ventilation shafts above the bathroom. After some conspicuous handprints had been found, well. They just had to shut the area down to secure it!
Meanwhile~
Yuffie is lying on the ground covered in burns. There is also a little wart on her chin -- this could be cured with Esuna. Hopefully. The girl pulls herself to her hands and knees, coughing delicately(soot is all that leaves her mouth, really), and then pulling herself to her feet, and situating herself.
Old Man Li is given a curious glance after Aerith's demands are heard. "Hell no! We worked hard for the money!" SO HARD FOR THE MONEY! She gives Aerith a choice hand gesture, and places her hands on her hips, offering Old Man Li a defiant little glare. And then, in perfect Cantonese(or whatever Li speaks):
Spineless nameless minor Shinra executives being spineless nameless minor Shinra executives, Scarlet's question, along with the eyebrow, is met with most everyone looking away, murmuring or stammering "Ah, um, nothing at all, Ms. Scarlet," and the continuing of business as usual. Reeve, meanwhile, stops in front of the closed-down bathrooms, unfazed. In fact, he smirks dryly- it's not like he HAD to go use the bathroom, anyway; it's a good thing, too, otherwise he'd be in a pinch. He then makes it a point in his mind; all he has to do is NOT think about going to the bathroom at all, which is partially negated because thinking of NOT thinking of going to the bathroom counts as thinking about going to the bathroom anyway, which will then lead to the worry that he might have to go at some point in time because the meeting IS awfully long-
Reeve's eyebrow twitches. Lips pursed, the goateed man urgently makes his way towards the nearest elevator. One of the lower floors MUST have a bathroom that he can use.
Meanwhile, Cait Sith winces at the property destruction, and claps a gloved hand to his forehead in exasperation. The Mog follows suit, copying the motion. "... yikes," the spybot comments, making it a point to discover if there's some mythical, as-of-yet undiscovered correlation between AVALANCHE and explosions. And then the old man starts walking towards them, with purpose in his step and asskicking in his eyes. As Yuffie shows Aerith and the enraged-looking elder absolutely no respect, Cait Sith whispers as an aside to Aerith, "(Aaah, think this's about where we should sacrifice Yuffie to the ol' geezer, cut our losses, an' run like bats outta hell before he beats us up, calls the cops, or get the leaders o' those gangs t' come up here an' give us a whoopin'?)"
...
Twitch.
Old Man Li was incensed enough when they were trying to offer him money. He can deal with that. He's highly insulted, but, feh, what do you expect the youth of today to know? The Old Man was about to deal with Aerith and her demon on no uncertain terms. Still, he's a reasonable old dragon. He has no interest in starting a war with the faction he perceives Aerith as belonging to.
And then...then, he's distracted as Yuffie's voice speaks up, it's insolence-ridden tongue ridiculing him, the Old Man just tuuuuuuuuuuuurns slowly, eyes hooded under his large eyebrows, twitching dangerously as he takes in the obvious looking ninja. Tight clothing? Check. Ridiculous weapon? Check. Insolence? Doublecheck.
Han Su Li, his grandson, refers to this as the 'Oh Hell Get Under Cover' stage of bodylanguage. In perfect English, so there are no misunderstandings, Old Man Li speaks.
"...Ninja Today So Very INSOLENT. YOU WILL PAY FOR DAMAGING RESTAURANT!"
And, with that, the old man blurs forwards, then launches into the air towards Yuffie, feet forwards.
"FLYING WINDMILL KICK!"
Annnnd, with that, the Angry Old Man attempts to kick the Insolent Ninja. Many, many times. Airjuggle Via Feet, really!
You get a glancing blow on Yuffie Kisaragi with your FLYING WINDMILL KICK attack.
Old Man Li says, "ATTENTION. I HAVE FLYING WINDMILL KICKED MY FIRST NINJA ON THIS MUSH. THAT IS ALL."
"I can't hear a word you're saying," Aerith says to Cait Sith, with a little frown; her ears are still ringing. She digs a Hyper out of her jacket and drinks it, as well, at long last; she feels tired, and that's just the thing to -
She seems to crackle with energy for a moment. NOW, she can take on the world, at least with some support from her friends. Friends like the cat on the moogle. Or -
Or Yuffie. "YUFFIE!" she shouts, the nostrum-induced fury inside of her taking the form of defensiveness for her friends. Her eyes take on a more determined cast and the yellow materia glows again as she holds it out, now clasping her hands in front of her as the staff somehow floats.
Then a big pair of nested sparkly shield-looking things appear in front of her, Yuffie, and Cait Sith for a moment before fading into virtual invisibility.
Aerith's screeching is lost on the Wutai Wonder while Old Man Li is sprinting towards her: This prompts an extremely confused expression, and a good deal of screeching... more Asian talk! The asian babble is cut off by Yuffie taking a foot to the chin in the middle of a desperate, attempt at a flip out of the way, arms windmilling around uselessly. She lands on the ground, hard... the shield taking the brunt of the damage delivered during the fall.
Her feisty, dark little eyes glimmer in irritation and mischief -- especially as her fingers wrap around the shape of a familiar object.
"KYAAAOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!" Is the ululating, victorious shriek Yuffie makes while getting to her feet, and she immediately falls into a forward somersault, whipping sometthing lengthy, black, and rather... well, not aerodynamic at the still-airborne shape of Old Man Li. It looks burnt and twisted.
Yuffie Kisaragi critically strikes Old Man Li with her Muffler Up Your Tailpipe! attack.
You take 20 damage.
Cait Sith eyes Aerith for a moment. "Er, are yer ears alright there? If not, I- Holy CRAP!" Old Man Li's attack almost instantly grabs the CatMog's attention. "I thought crazy decrepit ol' martial arts masters only existed in bad martial arts flicks!!" As far as he knows, racked female martial art masters are the norm, but...
Cait shakes his head, snapping back to reality just as the Big Guard slams into place around his form. "Y'all stay back, Aerith- I can't cast magic fer a while, so... Yuffie! Hold on, I'm comin'!" With an unspoken command, the cat sends the Mog bounding forward and brings his megaphone back up to bear, before skidding around to Old Man Li's side.
Cait Sith cranks his weapon up to maximum volume and takes a deep breath. "WHY DOES IT HAFTA END IN VIOLENCE?!" At that, the Mog clasps his massive hands together before trying to bring them down on the old man's head.
Cait Sith critically strikes Old Man Li with his "CAN'T WE ALL JUST GET ALONG?!" attack.
You take 31 damage.
*WHACK*
Between that FOUL SORCERESS and her DARK MAGIC, and Yuffie's tailpipe, Old Man Li's smacked and rolls backwards, landing in a crouch and glaring furiously at Yuffie.
""
The Old Man's pretty pissed off. At least he's talking. Still. Now that he's grounded, the old man figures it's time to get serious. He slams forwards, a glint of /something/ shimmering along a hand as he attempts the dreaded Sparrow Spears Fallen Caterpillar attack. Namely, he attempts to slam a chi-infused palm strike straight through any defenses, magical or mundane, and smash the Evil Ninja away WITH THE RIGHTEOUS FURY OF HTE HEAVENS...AND THEN THE DEMON ATTACKS!
Old Man Li is staggered, but what can you expect of such foul odds! Ninja can never play fair! Obviously, these harlot demonic ninja are back for revenge for the time he destroyed their demonic master decades ago, having plotted for years! As such, it is his heavenly duty to attempt to destroy them, the old man rolling forwards, then flipping backwards, his pipe aimed for the Furry Demon's face.
You hit Yuffie Kisaragi with your Sparrow Spears Fallen Caterpillar attack.
You hit Cait Sith with your Flying Pipe Of The Ancestors attack.
Yuffie Kisaragi hits herself with her Belated Car Explosion! super.
Aerith's anger reaches its peak as her friends are harmed by these slings and arrows of outrageous, unreasonable old men, and her eyes once again glitter with that strange, unknowable intention of the Ancients. It's almost like madness - then she closes them.
A red light surrounds her, billowing upwards and sending her braid flapping gently, and then she slumps. The tension leaves her body...
To be translated into the somewhat less than standard forms of Yuffie and Cait Sith. After this, Aerith twitches, just a little.
Yuffie goes flying back, like, fifty feet or something fantastic! The skinny ninja's body can be seen plowing through the brick wall of a nearby building, resulting in a heavy "wumph!" from her, as well as what must be true original Wutaiese curses. Curses loud enough to shake the foundation of the building she's found herself in.
Within moments however, Yuffie can be seen mounting the hole she'd left while /entering/ the building -- This time she is holding a large, wok-style frying pan.
...and then, with a practiced flick, throws it at the violent ninja girl. Still. That's not the interesting part, as it goes hurtling through midair, aiming for the head. It's meant to knock her off balance, y'see, and if it hits, it hits with a small thunderclap. No, the interesting part is when it rebounds off of either Yuffie or midair, slamming towards the crazy demon as it attempts to hurt itself and its masters. Hmmmm! Is why you can never depend on demons, y'know. Still, from there, it rebounds AGAIN, going to smack Aerith off her feet, afore arcing up into the air and landing in Old Man Li's hand. Sure, it's just a pipe and wouldn't do much to slow down someone NORMALLY.
Of coruse, Old Man Li IS NO NORMAL OLD MAN, and neither is his pipe, as it is CHI-INFUSED TO BE A WEAPON OF MARTIAL VALOR. Still, he is, currently, trying to buy himself some time so he can charge enough chi to use one of his school's advanced techniques to try and dissuade these damn demonic harlot ninja.
You stun Yuffie Kisaragi with your Flying action.
You stun Cait Sith with your Sparrow action.
You miss Aerith Gainsborough with your Pipe stun.
There is the distinctive sound of a pipe forged of simple wood and lacquer impacting pressed collapsible aluminium.
It was meant to knock her off her feet, but some warning drew Aerith to move -just so- -- and so the pipe hangs in midair for a moment, before falling down with a clatter. Aerith crouches down to pick it up. She twirls it over her fingers for a moment, studying it as she puts the staff back over her shoulder non-chalantly.
"Nice work," she says, her voice a bit rougher now. She is, for better or worse, falling into the way they talk over in Sector 5, and for that matter, the way she talked to a certain Don. "I'd keep it, but it's got your spit on it... probably I'd get sick and die."
She brings her hand back, holding the pipe between two fingers with casual ease. "We gave you an offer... and that's what you give us. You're lucky we're merciful." Then she tosses it towards the old fellow, quite lightly.
Aerith Gainsborough gets a glancing blow on Old Man Li with her donk feint.
You take 8 damage.
Yuffie stands tall after whipping a giant wok at Old Man Li, and starts running forward, shrieking. She's got nothing in her hands, but OH SHIT SHE'S PICKING SOME RANDOM DEBRIS UP FROM THE GROUN-
Suddenly, Yuffie's eyes go wide, and she kind of stops dead in her tracks. There is a loud, apocalyptic sound, like something enormous plowing its way through atmosphere, and eventually a large shadow overtakes the clearing. Yuffie's eyes... constrict.
*WHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM KABOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM*
The girl's standing still when the dust clears, her eyes closed, rocks held in her hands, and brought defensively before her face. Behind her, there is a ten-foot tall meteorite, making a clear impression on the plaza. A /giant/ impression. She looks up just in time to meet a pipe to the face, and is thusly stunned.
Stunned with a grimace. It looks like she's about to swear!
One of the neon signs behind Aerith sheds the "Sexy Women" part of its promise of Loose Slots Cheap Drinks Sexy Women, which falls to the pavement with a glittery crash of neon tubes.
This does make Aerith jump a little bit. The explosion's echoes are starting to fade from her ears.
Apparently, Aerith and Yuffie have already accumulated too much bad karma, the villainous harlots! So Lady Luck loops back around and sucker-punches Cait Sith wit...
*donk* "Ow!" A light bulb falls on Cait's head. The Mog leans over and picks it up for Cait's inspection. He blinks. "That's it?"
Behind him, there's a shriek of metal as the very top of the lamp post breaks off. Inexplicably, the rest of the lamp post suddenly falls over, swings on one hinge, and slams jagged-end first into the cave moogle, sending the poor brute sprawling in a gratuitously violent explosion of plushie stuffing. "Agh!!" Cait squeals, clinging onto the Mog with all his might.
*BONK* "AGH!!" Cait screeches, the chi-infused pipe slamming him upside the head and sending the caped feline hurtling off the Moogle to land on the ground in a heap. As Reeve frantically tries to get poor Cait up and about again, it doesn't look like the robot'sgetting up any time soon.
Cait Sith switches armor modes to Cait Sith.
Hmmmmmm...Interesting! That sorceress woman would have potential if she wasn't an /evil witch trying to destroy his Feng Shui site as revenge for his heroic actions years ago/. Ah, misundrestandings. Still, Old Man Li is formidable as he is bonked with his own pipe, shooting a deadpan glare at Aerith. "Considering the things you undoubtedly did to summon such a demon, foul witch, I dobut that a bit of spit is your biggest problem. Heaven shall guide my fists, demon worshippers!" Definite misunderstandings.
He takes a deep breath, his ponytail whipping around violently as he starts drawing in chi from the surroundings, a slight white glow building around the Old Master...afore it winks out. A moment later, the Old Master himself dissapears. The Ancient Technique of RUNNING AWAY VERY QUICKLY?
Well...not quite. After all, while the Ninja and her Demon's Secondary Body are reeling from the pipe and distraction of the Demon's attempt to assault his summoners, the Old Master is making his move. There's a slight blur of silver and green behind Yuffie, afore the ninja is launched into the air by a palm strike in the small of the back. A similiar blur behind the Giant White Furry Thing, and it's launched as well. And, from that, the Old Master demonstrates why he was feared in his younger days, and still commands a healthy respect now, as he leaps into the air.
The Old Man's pulling enough Chi in and using it to move his body faster than the human eye can track, leaving only the afterimages as he assaults first Yuffie in midair, then Cait Sith, using his kicks to both juggle them both up higher, and to propel himself. Finally, at the peak of it, a story or two off the ground, the old man appears in another blur. He lightly perches on the flying Fat Furry Demon, then slams a foot downwards, hard, propelling Cait Sith towards the ground. He uses the force of the kick to flip backwards, drifting by the airborne Yuffie, spinning in midair, complete with the ponytail flying, and slams a hand down on her stomach, palm striking her towards the ground, flipping backwards once more. Hu Fu Li lands in a skid a few yards off, chi leaking off of him visibly as he flicks the long braided ponytail back over his shoulder, hiding just how much this fight's taking out of him. He could take one or two of them, but all three together is a bit much.
You critically strike Yuffie Kisaragi with your Heaven's Justice attack.
Yuffie Kisaragi is no longer stunned.
You critically strike Cait Sith with your Involves Lots Of Painful Kicking attack.
Cait Sith is no longer stunned.
Yuffie is brought back to consciousness and, for the most part, /life/, with shooting pains in her face, stomach, and more importantly, right above her butt. She kind of curls into a little ball for a moment, and proceeds to rock for a bit, clearly too far hurt to move... UNTIL SHE COMPREHENDS WHAT JUST HAPPENED. The girl's eyes, originally little portals into a hurt soul, grow firey once more. Yuffie proceeds to leap to her feet, lips parted in aghast horror, and simply points at Old Man Li.
"Y-Y-Y-Y..." More shrieking in Bitchy Oriental, it sounds like a rainbow of curses. And then finally, Yuffie's eyes glow some kind of red. Anime red. /Anime/ red.
"YOU PUNCHED ME IN THE ASS!"
Immediately, the ground beneath the giant meteorite explodes in a giant spire, a sort of inverted punch that sends the heavy ball of spacerock flying into the air. The shadow makes its way towards Old Man Li, and gets... /larger/. There's a whistling sound! Oh no!
Yuffie Kisaragi misses Old Man Li with her Anime Chick Fury + Landscaper super.
When Reeve finally gets Cait Sith's sensory and visual systems back online, he's treated to the sight of a crazy old man air-juggling Yuffie and the giant cave moogle plushie like they were /nothing/.
Cait is very glad that he'd fallen off his moogle. Crawling back to his feet, the caped cat boggles at Old Man Li for a good few seconds, gulping visibly. "Yuffie!! ... aw, man... this ain't good!" Before he can do anything, though, the small caped feline notices that a shadow's fallen over him, and when he looks up, a giant white fluffy thing fills his- "OH GOD!!" *WHUMPFCRUNCH*.
Cait Sith crawls out from beneath his trashed moogle's remains, toddles a few, unstable steps, tries to unkink his poor tail, and /glares/ at Old Man Li. "A'right, that's th' last straw!! NO one beats up my ride an' gets away with it!!" The Fairy Cat charges up once again- this time, only the red gem set in his megaphone starts to glow. "CHOCO-MOG!" ... and for one brief moment, the entire party disappears.
Wait a second... where's the yellow chocobo? And the spear-wielding moogle? All there IS is a growing shadow beneath Old Man Li's feet... and a giant, fat, white chocobo hurtling down from the sky, ready to pancake the old martial artist.
With its butt.
Cait Sith misses Old Man Li with his Choco-Mog Alternate Summon: FAT CHOCOBO attack.
Aerith's eyebrow twitches as she beholds this situation.
This HAS to finish him. She reaches up to rest one hand over her heart, slumping forward slightly and letting out a sigh of relief.
Premature victory posing?
Obviously, the attempt to destroy Old Man Li with both a Rock and a GIANT BIRDIE have resulted in a dust cloud. That means that Old Man Li, equally obviously, is not in the dust cloud. It's a rule, y'see. That, or noticed that both attacks resulted in a large shadow, and, being the cagey old master he is, he moved until he wasn't under a shadow.
As a matter of fact, he's behind Yuffie. He doesn't even have any snappy comments now. He's concentrating on beating back the ninja and her demon, before they can summon even more demons! Or ninja! Or demonic ninja! A small part of his mind is lamenting the fact that such excellent potential wives for his grandson must be demonlovers and ninja. Ah well! Many other attractive women with child-bearing hips in the sea!
Still, the Old Man hops forwards, attempting to plant both feet onto the back of Yuffie's head, then use the leverage to flip into the air, where the Flying Sparrow Pipe is sent hurtling at the Smaller Cat Demon, seeing as how it's larger symbiote has been destroyed! Hit or miss, the chi infused pipe comes snapping back to Old Man Li's hands, the old man standing in an easy, slightly swaying ready position.
You miss Yuffie Kisaragi with your Head Stomp attack.
You hit Cait Sith with your Flying Sparrow Pipe attack.
Yuffie is entirely lost to whatever ancient Oriental rage spurred the LANDSCAPER that somehow MISSED(nobody said the Earth was accurate).. on the other hand, she works this to her advantage by firstly screaming pretty much constantly, shrieking about her ass in some obscure language, and darting to the side when Li disappears. She turns, however, after he leaps into the air and wings his pipe at Cait Sith.
"AYAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!"
The slender girl heads into the air /after/ Li, hopefully kicking him in the damn jaw with her pennyloafer-clad, loose-sock garbed foot. Ka-klonk! Aerith would be so proud.
Yuffie Kisaragi critically strikes Old Man Li with her Head Kick attack.
You take 22 damage.
"FUGNYA!" Cait protests articulately as that accursed pipe once again smacks him upside the head, the force of the blow sending the poor spybot tumbling once again. For a split second, electricity crackles along Cait's form as it hits the ground- back in Midgar, Reeve winces as alarms and notices crop up on his miniature display screen. Voice Modulator, damaged; Tail Movement Protocols, off-line; Trace System, damaged; M.O.G. System, critically damaged; Megaphone Link, damaged- and the list scrolls on. Any more damage, and the /entirety/ of Cait Sith might have to be covertly taken back for repairs.
The fortune-teller staggers back to his feet, staggering around jerkily. "... w-was this even worth all this trouble, everynyan?" Cait Sith says dazedly, lifting up his megaphone and pointing it at Old Man Li. For the last time this evening, the cat's materia glows briefly; once again, the sky opens up and sends a bolt of lightning arcing down at the old man. "EaT eLeCtRiC dEaTh MeOw!!"
Cait Sith misses Old Man Li with his BOLT1! attack.
Aerith is not very proud because they are not successfully defeating the old fart.
This isn't WUTAI, Yuffie; what's your excuse? she thinks as she straightens back up, thrust back into the heat of battle. She can tell that Cait's kind of in a bad situation, so she turns around and leaves Yuffie to suffer as best she can in favor of extending her hands towards him. A materia glitters and glows, and then warm healing radiation engulfs him to soothe those poor injuries.
It better work. It's never -not- worked.
Aerith Gainsborough heals Cait Sith with her plz action.
...Hmmmmm. Being Assaulted by Angry Kunoichi in midair. Ow. That's going to require some intesne meditation to fix. Sigh. The Old Master grunts, and, cheerfully notes as the strange little demon manipulates energy and attempts to assault him with the power of lightning. Naturally, he does the simple thing.
He lets Yuffie's kick roll him backwards, rolling and chucking her into the path of the spell as he's chucked out of it.
Still, have to deal with that other little demon somehow. Ah! Right! It's been the victim of hte pipe multiple times...so, eh, why not see if Three is a lucky number today? The Pipe takes flight once more, whistling in a vicious arc just above the ground as it attempts to slam into Cait's knees.
Old Man Li does take note of the Vile Demonic Harlot Sorceress, but there's not a lot he can do at the moment. Ah well!
You critically strike Yuffie Kisaragi with your Friendly Fire attack.
You miss Cait Sith with your *BOP* attack.
You paged Yuffie Kisaragi with 'For reference, grabbed your leg and used it as a lever.'
You paged Yuffie Kisaragi with '^^;'
Yuffie hits the ground in a... sort of human puddle. The lightning attacking her in the air has rendered her rather gibbering, ocasional spasms wracking her limbs, a nerve-caused gibbering annunciating each little action. During this, she's rather forced to recall exactly what just happened.
She was thrown. Except, it was, like... a /total kung-fu worthy throw/. The girl was thrown into the air, and then INTO A LIGHTNING BOLT. Hence, all the gibbering and puddling and spasming. It was very much bad times... and Yuffie didn't look like she'd be getting up for a while. Except, as we all know, she is an RPG character, and hence, able to take ludicrous amounts of damage.
So she's back on her feet after the flashback, electricity still sparking, mad-scientist-coil-like, between two errant strands of electrified hair. The pipe is, through some odd physics, SUCKED OUT OF THE AIR BY WEIRD AND OBSCURE ELECTROMAGNETISM. Nobody understands it anyway, right?
"Hiyah! Just go to sleep, geezer! The money's all ours! Everything! Rare drops! Maybe we'll find a Power Source on one of them! Just sleep!" And this is where she throws the pipe at Old Man Li. Throws it like a javelin.
Yuffie Kisaragi critically strikes Old Man Li with her Friendly Fire Part Deux attack.
You take 18 damage.
While a robot, Cait Sith is, inexplicably, fully able to use materia AND Limit Breaks; whatever odd phenomenon lets him do that also allows the Cure to work its magic on the battered cat. Scrapes knit shut over almost-revealed metallic innards, sensitive electronics repair themselves, and even the Mog, laying on the ground face-first, spasms slightly, one hand reaching up into the air like some sort of Frankensteinian monstrosity coming back from the grave.
Back in Midgar, Reeve sighs in relief as all those alarms and alerts go silent. "Woohoo!" Vitality restored, Cait Sith jumps up into the air, letting the pipe whoosh right past his booted feet, to land on top of his Mog- which levers itself up from the ground fully. It's still battered and its stomach is torn half-open, but at least it's functional again! "Hey, I owe ya one, Aerith!" Cait crows, pumping a fist into the air. And then he winces as Yuffie tumbles to the ground, fried by his spell. "... er, and you too, Yuffie," he murmurs, ears wilting slightly.
"What th' ninja said!" Cait clicks his megaphone back on. "We'll do somethin' to help 'bout your store, so just..." The Mog jogs towards Old Man Li, one arm windmilling like mad. "... BACK OFF!!"
Cait Sith gets a glancing blow on Old Man Li with his *THWOK* attack.
You take 7 damage.
Old Man Li says, "...I have /1/ health left."
Old Man Li says, "I reserve the right to throw the fu that knocks you all down."
Cait Sith says, "... I forgot to switch back to Mog Rider."
Cait Sith says, "But also, by all means. XD"
The Old Man's looking pretty beaten up by now. He frowns seriously at both the ninja and the Furry Demon. "Hmmmm! I see you are full of foolishness. I will never accept the aid of such evil demons as you and your ninja, as well as your harlot of a summoner, Foul Creature. I shall destroy you and your crass, greedy ways!"
Annnnnd, with that, skidding backwards...the old master adopts an odd stance, both feet planted, hands out. Hey...erm...Wow. That's...that's a lot of chi. I mean, if you've got sensitivity to it, it stands out. If you're NOT sensitive to it, it feels like a really heavy pressure. The point is, there's a breeze picking up around the old man, as well as visible swirls of energy starting to coil around him, starting faint and building up until the old man's positively gleaming. And, with that, he darts forwards, feet forwrads, the chi forming to create a faint image of a dragon as he slams towards the double-teaming Demon and Ninja, attempting to launch into a simple move.
Namely, aiming at Yuffie first, Windmill Kicking her with all the fury an Old Master can muster, and then landing, turning, and attempting to slash a palm strike, complete with Chi claws, into the Furry Demon's belly and send it flying. Regardless, the old man lands after that, dropping to a knee and a hand, breathing heavily. He's good, but he's also not quite the young man he used to be. Still! He's willing to wager that these impudent children will think twice before mouthing off again!
You miss Yuffie Kisaragi with your Flying Dragon's Strike super.
You hit Cait Sith with your Dragon Claw super.
"Oh this is ridiculous," Aerith mutters, as the armlet on her upper arm glitters with light. The orb that is glowing NOW is red. She steps back as she's surrounded by green orbs of light containing a mysterious symbol, and then -
A great man, seeming as if hewn from rock, falls from the sky with a SLAM, flattening a Honda Civic Type R on impact. "Titan!" Aerith calls towards it, waving at him. "The mole men did it again! They said you look like a - you know -" She makes a waggling gesture with her hand.
The echo of the Planet's memory reacts predictably. It brings up one stony fist. "Titan not sissy man," it mutters, before slamming it into the ground hard enough to set off a strongly localized earthquake, pavement cracking and wreckage flying around, one of the more rickety nearby buildings acquiring a very faint but distressing list to one side. "TITAN S-"
It vanishes back into the ether, and Aerith looks skyward. Perhaps she is trying to seem innocent.
Aerith Gainsborough hits Old Man Li with her TITAN READ MARVEL COMICS TOO OFTEN attack.
You take 24 damage.
You have been knocked out!
"Hey guys!"
Tifa comes jogging up. This is hardcore Baywatch jogging, too. The bouncing is thunderous.
She holds up a bag of Chinese food.
"I got a bunch of free food from these really nice guys! I saved some for you!"
The bartender pauses, surveying the scene for a moment.
"Uhm. Did I miss something important?"
No, only three vicious criminals gangbeating an old man. Nothing important.
The scent of Chinese food is a strong, strong thing... especially to those trained to detect it from miles away. Namely, Yuffie. Her nostrils begin flaring a good two seconds before Li descends on her, and with a Roadrunner-esque SKOOM, she's gone in a cloud of smoke! Also, the shuriken on the ground, amidst twisted, burnt metal, is gone. Yuffie, despite obvious burns and wounds and bruises, is darting towards her Baywatched partner in crime, and with a *thwick!* sound, that bag is /gone/. Also, so is Yuffie. Also, so is her player. Rumbly tummy. :(
Thankfully for Cait Sith, the Mog took the full force of that blow- it makes for a /really/ good aggro soaker. Unfortunately for Cait Sith, the Mog... took the full force of that blow. "WHOA!" Cait barely has time to jump off before, with an audible ripping sound, the giant plushie is blasted backwards, leaving behind a trail of white, cotton stuffing before it slams into a nearby wall.
"Dammit! Not again!!" As his ride sprawls out on the pavement with its limbs all akimbo, Cait Sith manages to land on all fours, megaphone handle clutched between his teeth. Climbing back up to his feet, the cat recognizes Aerith's summoning stance. Yup, it's over. So, with a knowing sigh, he simply pats down his cape, looks his fur over for any tears, and then watches as the Titan goes about its business.
And then Tifa comes onto the scene! "Heya, Tifa!" Cait Sith sing-songs, running over to the martial artist- and punts her in the shin. Ineffectively, but the emotion's there! "Why in sam hill didn't'cha tell us that you were gonna run off like that?!" the cat screeches, flailing his tiny arms in /rage/ as he looks up at-
Somewhere in Midgar, a man's head snaps back as a fountain of blood shoots out his nose.
"... eh, on second thought, it all turned out alright," Cait Sith says mildly, giving Tifa a thumbs-up. "'Least you... used to have free food," he says, watching Yuffie dash away.
The Old Man grunts as the ground cracks, sending him flying against the wall of his restaurant, slumping down, not worthing. Congratulations, Aeris! You just beat an old man!
Annnd, at that about that time, there's the sound of tires screeching as a police car comes to a halt. They'd gotten a call a while back about some martial arts throwdown, so a couple of the local police were sent to check it out. The usual sort. A nice, respectable, good karate cop, and the slightly crazy maverick cop on the force. How do such people get assigned to work together? Possibly because someone hates them. Still. They stop, staring at the devastation, and then quickly bail out of the car, leveling guns in the direction of the sorts causing the trouble.
"Holy hell, Shu. Look at this place!"
"Hmmm. Hey, do those three look familiar?"
"Wait...I remember seeing that rack on TV the other night! HOLY HELL! IT'S THE GORGONS! CALL FOR BACKUP! CALL FOR BACKUP!"
Annnnd, while the police are obviously calling for backup on that end, there's a started yell from down the street, as several younger men in a similar getup to Old Man Li's come trotting up, looking surprised.
"Oh...man. What the heck happened he-MASTER LI!"
"WHAT?"
"LOOK!"
"Quick! Call Master Fu and Master Wu! They need to know about this!"
"On it!"
Looks like several of Li's students' students are arriving as well. Not to mention there's a new chopper overhead. I mean, martial arts battle? Whatever. Still, slow news day, anyways. Localized Earthquake? Now, THAT's news. Picking up a call that the infamous criminals the Three Gorgons have been spotted on the police bands? SIX O'CLOCK NEWS! AH YEAH! Smile, Girls! You're on candid camera!
...Especially Tifa. Oh ho ho ho.
WHO: Aerith, Cait Sith, Old Man Li, Tifa Lockheart, Yuffie Kisagari
WHERE: A humble shop in Feng Shui's Hong Kong
WHEN: Technically Saturday, April 8th
WHAT: AVALANCHE, looking for some money, looks to make some cash looting thugs engaged in a martial arts gang war. Old Man Li is both old and angry at all the ruckus. Things spiral out of control from there.
Watch For: Yuffie's Fury, Aerith's Little Friends, And The Two Reasons Reeve Is A Dead Man Someday.
Ahhhhh! Hong Kong! It's really a happening city! You'd think that someone looking for peace and quiet wouldn't move INTO Hong Kong. Still, no one ever said that Old Man Li was /normal/. His Grandson, especially. Still, said Lazy Grandson is out running errands, leaving his poor venerable grandfather alone to tend the humble family noodle shop!
Regardless of the Woes of the Venerable Elder of the Li Family, who is currently tending to his humble shop, muttering in annoyance at the slowness of his grandson, there are OTHER THINGS afoot! In this case.../Street Hooligans/. Not just Normal Street Hooligans...but...
/Martial Arts Street Hooligans/. For some odd reason, there seems to be two large groups of them gathering on the streets near said Humble Li Noodle Shop, glaring at each other and muttering! Wut oh! Looks like trouble's brewing! Granted, because at least two secret societies bent on taking control of various Feng Shui sites for their own use are behind the impending brawl and trying to edge the other group out, but, such things are of no consequence! It's merely another lovely day in Hong Kong, with Martial Arts Hooligans, Old Men, Neon Street Signs, and all the other lovely ingredients for Chaos!
A length of metal taps on a red jacket, obeying some deep and inner rhythm.
Lips move slightly around a length of rice straw.
Aerith walks around a corner, feeling sore and tired - coming into town from an interdimensional portal out in the boondocks when you don't have any cash is a pain in the foot. She looks tired and thus, perhaps, a little older, although her eyes are as bright as always.
She rounds the corner and pauses, turning to look at - Her eyes widen, and she looks to her two companions. "Are those thugs? Those look like thugs. Thugs have money, don't they...?" She sounds a little nervous, perhaps in the face of a moral boundary, but then, robbing the pockets of a trio of SOLDIERS 3rd class didn't bother her.
She shifts the rice straw to the other side of her mouth, and points at the gangs, holding her staff against her shoulder with the other hand. "Then..."
Yuffie looks similarly tired. She's battered and beaten, a few rips(but remarkably less bruises and cuts) marring her form, mostly clothing. Her eyes are narrowed with the universally recognizable signs of exhaustion, twin bags under the set. "Uwa, mor-?" Yuffie's eyes widen, and she shuts her mouth. What Aerith didn't know is that Yuffie had been generally tearing gangsters up for the past few nights... perhaps this is the source of the mystery Gil finding itself into her purse every morning!
But, again... it's taken it's toll on her. She brings her giant, oversized shuriken up to one shoulder, and frowns, a vaguely feminine thing. "Let's leave them alone, Aerith! They're not doing anything! Are they? Look! They're just sitting there!" She points, and, indeed, the gangsters are just sitting there.
Going through some poor man's wallet.
Yuffie looks extremely hopeful. Maybe Aerith won't notice!
Behind Aerith, a larger (or perhaps just wider) shape looms as it rounds the bend, frantically hopping to a standstill as its companions suddenly stop walking. Though tiny, serious button eyes follow Aerith's finger, the massive moogle plushie, slightly dirty and battered, offers only a deep, meaningful silence in response to the Cetra's questions or comments.
The Mog's rider, on the other hand... "Oh, hey, whaddaya know." Cait Sith leans forward, shading his fox eyes with a gloved paw. While he looks a little rough around the edges- cape slightly frayed, fur matted in parts, and white underbelly now a dusty off-white- Cait seems chipper as usual and /definitely/ not tired, despite being up for an ungodly number of hours compared to the two girls. Strange, that.
"If'n by 'just sitting there', y'all mean 'kicking some poor sap's arse'," the cat retorts to Yuffie, sitting back and tapping his megaphone in one hand. Cait eyes the scene thoughtfully before looking back at the two girls with a crooked grin. "Hey, if y'all wanna beat up some thugs, I'm all for it. Mebbe it'd help balance yer bad karma that y'all got /somehow gettin' on someone's wanted list/," he adds. ... is Cait /still/ sore about that?!
Hmmmmm! Hooligans. Can't even be trusted to ignore Random Passerby when psyching up for a gang fight. Hmmph. In Li's day, they had DISCIPLINE. DISCPLINED BRIGANDS, dammit. Bah!
The Gangs, despite the occasional diversion (Such as that mugging) have finally psyched up, and both of them start to move down the street, lining up with a narrow space seperating the two groups. Various Thuggish weapons. Y'know. Nunchuks, the occasional staff, knives, clubs, maybe a chain or two, occasional hatchet or axe. Usual things, really. Well, if you're from Hong Kong. Still, it's time for the traditional Pre-Gang Fight Exchanging of Insults!
"<...You chaps are so inferior that you cannot even dress yourselves without the assistance of your mother, which explains your current mode of dress, as I was entertaining her all evening, along with several of my fellows!>"
""
Aerith feels a brief squirt of guilt. Really, it IS something of a bias; just because their writing looks the same to her eyes doesn't mean it's really the same, and perhaps they use different letters. Heck, they use some kanji in Midgar, even, but that was just the trend after the war...
As the others run forwards, she adjusts some of her Materia a little - 'all' plus 'cure' is a good idea - and says to Cait Sith, "Good!"
Then she lifts her voice over the impending fray as Yuffie makes contact with the enemy. "We're here to protect you, sir!" she practically sings, before squinting into the growing dust cloud to try and make -out- Yuffie.
Yuffie can be seen performing a dynamic, aerial swan-style backflip over the ensuing dust clouds, and practically everybody can hear her screaming in a shrill, eerily annoying tone of voice. She's got both fists wrapped around the other, and is in the process of bringing them down on some guy's head in what must be a weak non-Tifa hammer-blow punch. Then she is lost again. The fact that people in various, disconnected areas of the ensuing mob are shrieking in annoyance and scratching at their eyes futiley is probably a good sign.
Meanwhile, the girl's shuriken has slashed one man across the chest, and slammed into a nearby car in an odd, extremely unlikely result of nature's physics equations at work. There is the slightest hiss of gasoline being released into the air.
Cait Sith's moogle screeches to a halt on the edge of the brawl, while the smaller feline adopts a look of intense concentration as he starts charging up the materia set on the rim of his megaphone. After a handful of seconds, a burst of green fire spins outward as a runed circle spins briefly under the Mog's feet. The bulky Mog suddenly (and impossibly?) hop-skips lightly in place, just as Cait himself pumps a fist and yells "YAH~HOOOOO!"
And then Things Start Happening.
In direct contradiction to today's weather report, three jagged bolts of lightning slam down from the sky, severely electrocuting people on all sides of the Wutai Wonder in a series of painful-sounding crackles. Off to the side, a gang member suddenly twirls around in circles, punching himself in the face before collapsing in a drunken and confused heap, and another unlucky gumbie disappears in a puff of green miasma- a panicked 'ribbit' goes unnoticed in the wake of Yuffie's noisemaking.
"... whew!" Cait Sith then slumps down slightly, gathering his strength for the next barrage. And... is that /steam/ rising from his inert form?
The Old Man twitches as the crazy foreign girl yells something at him. Said Old Man very calmly pulls a pipe out from somewhere, tamps some tobacco into it, lights it with a match, and then puffs at it for a few moments. And then casually steps in between two brawlers, ducks low, and slams poth hands outwards, palms impacting and blowing both men away. Hu Fu Li straightens up, twitching, as he takes in the giant brawl growing across his storespace, puffing away on his pipe furiously.
"It Lunchtime. There no business because stupid insolent delinquent having fight. AND THERE IS NOW NINJA AND SORCERER AND PET DEMON HELPING KEEP FIGHT GOING." Twitch. Course, the thing is, he said that in English.
As for the fihgters...well...the gangers are reeling a bit from the third party. And, while still trying to keep at each other, there are concentrated efforts to catch the screaming ninja girl, despite injuries and downed mooks, while another small group turn and attempt to bum rush Cait Sith and Aerith, striking fairly decent martial arts poses, twirling a variety of nice little weapons. Chains, mostly. Annnnd, then they attack! Wooo!
As for the thugs going after Yuffie, eh, most of 'em are relyin' on good ol' fisticuffs. They're pretty good at it, too!
"What? I'm not a - eeek!" Aerith is beset upon by a crowd of slick-haired Asian thugs. It isn't the first time.
She begins backing away, swinging the staff to try and ward them off. She does not have a great deal of strength in her arms, but she isn't sickly or weak; this is only a holding action, however. Now she wishes she hadn't just adjusted her Materia.
"Cait!" she calls out as Neko Komoogle exhausts himself. With Yuffie gone, it could be all down to her - her lips press together and she hefts up her staff with both hands. A yellow orb glows, and a sudden wind sends her braid back... before she bends backwards, eyes glazing over slightly as the strange magic triggers itself.
Then a large swarm of small, stubby rockets erupt from her back, streaking out towards the thugs. They explode, albeit without terribly great force - on an individual level. "Aaaaahh!!" Aerith squeals; this always feels -almost- like it hurts.
Yuffie is currently fighting valiantly against the swarms of NPC thugs assaulting her, first taking one guy's nunchucks, and then taking a second guy's katana. The result is a tornado of blades and wood, and several *KLUNK* "OW!" *SLASH!* "SHIT!" sequences. By the time she is done, Yuffie stands in the middle of a group of felled warriors, looking... well, extremely proud of herself. She even goes so far as to drop her borrowed sword, and wave to Aerith and Cait.
"Easy! Now we loot them!" Of course, this is when she makes a little "mghgh!" sound, followed by a springy sound, and then... A FROG UPPERCUTS HER IN THE FACE. She falls backwards, the nunchucks sent flying.
Flying... through the air. A deadly, telegraphed arc towards the car spewing prepared gasoline into the air. The heavy wooden staves on either end of the chain slam into the shuriken piercing the thing's gas-tank, sending... a larger gout of gasoline into the air.
Meanwhile, rockets are exploding!
Back in Midgar, Reeve Tuesti is sitting through one of the dreariest meetings in the history of Shinra. It's the weekly board meeting. Of course, since Shinra IS the dominant military, economic, and political force on the Planet, there's not a whole lot to talk about. Thus, Reeve is free to stare off into the distance with a worried look on his face, nod like he's listening to whatever drivel is being discussed in the meeting, feverently drum his oddly-gloved and wire-covered fingers on his leg in an erratic pattern, and mouth words and phrases under his breath. Meanwhile, his peers simply shake their heads sadly and think "Reeve was never the same after they dropped the Plate, the poor man. He's overdue for a vacation."
A few planes away, Cait Sith just sorta stands there as the gang members bum-rush him and Aerith- the cat's slumped over tiredly, while the Moogle, running on autopilot, lifts its arms in a clumsy attempt to block incoming attacks and protect its rider. Such an easy targe-
Cait suddenly whips up his megaphone, ignoring the noisemaker's feedback squeal, and aims it at the gang member's face. "JUST KIDDING!!" he hollers. On cue, the Mog's right arm swings up to try and uppercut the probably-deafened punk, while the plushie twirls on one foot to land a haymaker on the next comer. A pattern forms quickly, consisting mostly of yelling at the top of his lungs and a synchronized punch. "HEY BATTER BATTER-" *THWOK* "-HEY BATTER BATTER-" *THUNK* "SWING!" *POW*
After clearing a small circle around him, Cait Sith hops over towards the Cetra- "HEYA AERITH!" *THWOK* "NEED HELP?" *THUD*- and jumps in to meatshield for her. And then he spots Yuffie... the rockets... and the gasoline. The cat's eyebrow twitches slightly. "Aw, geez- WATCH OUT-!"
"- IT'S GONNA BLOW!!" Reeve blinks as /everyone/ in the room stares at him. Did he really yell that out lo- ... oh. Blushing fiercely, he quickly and calmly excuses himself to go to the bathroom, trying not to listen to the people in there shaking their heads and commenting on how poor Mr. Tuesti is just way too stressed nowadays.
...Oh dear. Old Man Li blinks, sniffing, then glancing at the car, eyes widening. Well, only one thing to do at this point. JUMP. The Old Master vaults an insane distance, landing out of the blast radius on top his shop...just in time to watch the directed blast, due to various factors such as his 0 fortune rating and the lack of his Absurdly Lucky Grandson in the area to counteract it, slam forwards. Luckily, not enough to /kill/ everyone...but enough to roast them all a bit uncomfortably.
And to set the front of his ramen shop on fire. The Old Man starts to /TWITCH/ as he watches the window shatter inwards in hail of glass, and for the cosmetic fripperies such as the nice paper decorations he spent THE LAST WEEK MAKING catch on fire. The Old Man calmly hops down into the middle of the blast area, striding towards the Vile Ninja Succubus Queen who used her obvious Architect techno-magic to explode his shop. A few thugs stagger up, or try to get in his way, and summimarily smashed aside by the furious old man as he strides towards the obvious Ninja Abomination From The Future, eyebrow twitching.
"What are you looking at?" Scarlet says in that same board room, after Reeve has removed himself. She raises one thin-plucked blonde eyebrow.
MEANWHILE:
Aerith feels her ears pop after the explosion, then she sees a man marching towards her. She feels slightly bruised and as such, she does not want to fight him - he seems furious and potentially possessed of much endurance and durability.
An idea strikes her. "Yuffie! Give him a tenth of the cut!" she shouts, partly to make sure Yuffie hears and partly so she can hear it herself.
(New BB message (14/1) posted to 'Daily Spotlight' by Kurz Weber: What)
GAME: Save complete.
As well, the entire Shinra Executive Offices Floor is soon to suffer due to the "under maintenance" status of the ventilation shafts above the bathroom. After some conspicuous handprints had been found, well. They just had to shut the area down to secure it!
Meanwhile~
Yuffie is lying on the ground covered in burns. There is also a little wart on her chin -- this could be cured with Esuna. Hopefully. The girl pulls herself to her hands and knees, coughing delicately(soot is all that leaves her mouth, really), and then pulling herself to her feet, and situating herself.
Old Man Li is given a curious glance after Aerith's demands are heard. "Hell no! We worked hard for the money!" SO HARD FOR THE MONEY! She gives Aerith a choice hand gesture, and places her hands on her hips, offering Old Man Li a defiant little glare. And then, in perfect Cantonese(or whatever Li speaks):
Spineless nameless minor Shinra executives being spineless nameless minor Shinra executives, Scarlet's question, along with the eyebrow, is met with most everyone looking away, murmuring or stammering "Ah, um, nothing at all, Ms. Scarlet," and the continuing of business as usual. Reeve, meanwhile, stops in front of the closed-down bathrooms, unfazed. In fact, he smirks dryly- it's not like he HAD to go use the bathroom, anyway; it's a good thing, too, otherwise he'd be in a pinch. He then makes it a point in his mind; all he has to do is NOT think about going to the bathroom at all, which is partially negated because thinking of NOT thinking of going to the bathroom counts as thinking about going to the bathroom anyway, which will then lead to the worry that he might have to go at some point in time because the meeting IS awfully long-
Reeve's eyebrow twitches. Lips pursed, the goateed man urgently makes his way towards the nearest elevator. One of the lower floors MUST have a bathroom that he can use.
Meanwhile, Cait Sith winces at the property destruction, and claps a gloved hand to his forehead in exasperation. The Mog follows suit, copying the motion. "... yikes," the spybot comments, making it a point to discover if there's some mythical, as-of-yet undiscovered correlation between AVALANCHE and explosions. And then the old man starts walking towards them, with purpose in his step and asskicking in his eyes. As Yuffie shows Aerith and the enraged-looking elder absolutely no respect, Cait Sith whispers as an aside to Aerith, "(Aaah, think this's about where we should sacrifice Yuffie to the ol' geezer, cut our losses, an' run like bats outta hell before he beats us up, calls the cops, or get the leaders o' those gangs t' come up here an' give us a whoopin'?)"
...
Twitch.
Old Man Li was incensed enough when they were trying to offer him money. He can deal with that. He's highly insulted, but, feh, what do you expect the youth of today to know? The Old Man was about to deal with Aerith and her demon on no uncertain terms. Still, he's a reasonable old dragon. He has no interest in starting a war with the faction he perceives Aerith as belonging to.
And then...then, he's distracted as Yuffie's voice speaks up, it's insolence-ridden tongue ridiculing him, the Old Man just tuuuuuuuuuuuurns slowly, eyes hooded under his large eyebrows, twitching dangerously as he takes in the obvious looking ninja. Tight clothing? Check. Ridiculous weapon? Check. Insolence? Doublecheck.
Han Su Li, his grandson, refers to this as the 'Oh Hell Get Under Cover' stage of bodylanguage. In perfect English, so there are no misunderstandings, Old Man Li speaks.
"...Ninja Today So Very INSOLENT. YOU WILL PAY FOR DAMAGING RESTAURANT!"
And, with that, the old man blurs forwards, then launches into the air towards Yuffie, feet forwards.
"FLYING WINDMILL KICK!"
Annnnd, with that, the Angry Old Man attempts to kick the Insolent Ninja. Many, many times. Airjuggle Via Feet, really!
You get a glancing blow on Yuffie Kisaragi with your FLYING WINDMILL KICK attack.
Old Man Li says, "ATTENTION. I HAVE FLYING WINDMILL KICKED MY FIRST NINJA ON THIS MUSH. THAT IS ALL."
"I can't hear a word you're saying," Aerith says to Cait Sith, with a little frown; her ears are still ringing. She digs a Hyper out of her jacket and drinks it, as well, at long last; she feels tired, and that's just the thing to -
She seems to crackle with energy for a moment. NOW, she can take on the world, at least with some support from her friends. Friends like the cat on the moogle. Or -
Or Yuffie. "YUFFIE!" she shouts, the nostrum-induced fury inside of her taking the form of defensiveness for her friends. Her eyes take on a more determined cast and the yellow materia glows again as she holds it out, now clasping her hands in front of her as the staff somehow floats.
Then a big pair of nested sparkly shield-looking things appear in front of her, Yuffie, and Cait Sith for a moment before fading into virtual invisibility.
Aerith's screeching is lost on the Wutai Wonder while Old Man Li is sprinting towards her: This prompts an extremely confused expression, and a good deal of screeching... more Asian talk! The asian babble is cut off by Yuffie taking a foot to the chin in the middle of a desperate, attempt at a flip out of the way, arms windmilling around uselessly. She lands on the ground, hard... the shield taking the brunt of the damage delivered during the fall.
Her feisty, dark little eyes glimmer in irritation and mischief -- especially as her fingers wrap around the shape of a familiar object.
"KYAAAOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!" Is the ululating, victorious shriek Yuffie makes while getting to her feet, and she immediately falls into a forward somersault, whipping sometthing lengthy, black, and rather... well, not aerodynamic at the still-airborne shape of Old Man Li. It looks burnt and twisted.
Yuffie Kisaragi critically strikes Old Man Li with her Muffler Up Your Tailpipe! attack.
You take 20 damage.
Cait Sith eyes Aerith for a moment. "Er, are yer ears alright there? If not, I- Holy CRAP!" Old Man Li's attack almost instantly grabs the CatMog's attention. "I thought crazy decrepit ol' martial arts masters only existed in bad martial arts flicks!!" As far as he knows, racked female martial art masters are the norm, but...
Cait shakes his head, snapping back to reality just as the Big Guard slams into place around his form. "Y'all stay back, Aerith- I can't cast magic fer a while, so... Yuffie! Hold on, I'm comin'!" With an unspoken command, the cat sends the Mog bounding forward and brings his megaphone back up to bear, before skidding around to Old Man Li's side.
Cait Sith cranks his weapon up to maximum volume and takes a deep breath. "WHY DOES IT HAFTA END IN VIOLENCE?!" At that, the Mog clasps his massive hands together before trying to bring them down on the old man's head.
Cait Sith critically strikes Old Man Li with his "CAN'T WE ALL JUST GET ALONG?!" attack.
You take 31 damage.
*WHACK*
Between that FOUL SORCERESS and her DARK MAGIC, and Yuffie's tailpipe, Old Man Li's smacked and rolls backwards, landing in a crouch and glaring furiously at Yuffie.
""
The Old Man's pretty pissed off. At least he's talking. Still. Now that he's grounded, the old man figures it's time to get serious. He slams forwards, a glint of /something/ shimmering along a hand as he attempts the dreaded Sparrow Spears Fallen Caterpillar attack. Namely, he attempts to slam a chi-infused palm strike straight through any defenses, magical or mundane, and smash the Evil Ninja away WITH THE RIGHTEOUS FURY OF HTE HEAVENS...AND THEN THE DEMON ATTACKS!
Old Man Li is staggered, but what can you expect of such foul odds! Ninja can never play fair! Obviously, these harlot demonic ninja are back for revenge for the time he destroyed their demonic master decades ago, having plotted for years! As such, it is his heavenly duty to attempt to destroy them, the old man rolling forwards, then flipping backwards, his pipe aimed for the Furry Demon's face.
You hit Yuffie Kisaragi with your Sparrow Spears Fallen Caterpillar attack.
You hit Cait Sith with your Flying Pipe Of The Ancestors attack.
Yuffie Kisaragi hits herself with her Belated Car Explosion! super.
Aerith's anger reaches its peak as her friends are harmed by these slings and arrows of outrageous, unreasonable old men, and her eyes once again glitter with that strange, unknowable intention of the Ancients. It's almost like madness - then she closes them.
A red light surrounds her, billowing upwards and sending her braid flapping gently, and then she slumps. The tension leaves her body...
To be translated into the somewhat less than standard forms of Yuffie and Cait Sith. After this, Aerith twitches, just a little.
Yuffie goes flying back, like, fifty feet or something fantastic! The skinny ninja's body can be seen plowing through the brick wall of a nearby building, resulting in a heavy "wumph!" from her, as well as what must be true original Wutaiese curses. Curses loud enough to shake the foundation of the building she's found herself in.
Within moments however, Yuffie can be seen mounting the hole she'd left while /entering/ the building -- This time she is holding a large, wok-style frying pan.
...and then, with a practiced flick, throws it at the violent ninja girl. Still. That's not the interesting part, as it goes hurtling through midair, aiming for the head. It's meant to knock her off balance, y'see, and if it hits, it hits with a small thunderclap. No, the interesting part is when it rebounds off of either Yuffie or midair, slamming towards the crazy demon as it attempts to hurt itself and its masters. Hmmmm! Is why you can never depend on demons, y'know. Still, from there, it rebounds AGAIN, going to smack Aerith off her feet, afore arcing up into the air and landing in Old Man Li's hand. Sure, it's just a pipe and wouldn't do much to slow down someone NORMALLY.
Of coruse, Old Man Li IS NO NORMAL OLD MAN, and neither is his pipe, as it is CHI-INFUSED TO BE A WEAPON OF MARTIAL VALOR. Still, he is, currently, trying to buy himself some time so he can charge enough chi to use one of his school's advanced techniques to try and dissuade these damn demonic harlot ninja.
You stun Yuffie Kisaragi with your Flying action.
You stun Cait Sith with your Sparrow action.
You miss Aerith Gainsborough with your Pipe stun.
There is the distinctive sound of a pipe forged of simple wood and lacquer impacting pressed collapsible aluminium.
It was meant to knock her off her feet, but some warning drew Aerith to move -just so- -- and so the pipe hangs in midair for a moment, before falling down with a clatter. Aerith crouches down to pick it up. She twirls it over her fingers for a moment, studying it as she puts the staff back over her shoulder non-chalantly.
"Nice work," she says, her voice a bit rougher now. She is, for better or worse, falling into the way they talk over in Sector 5, and for that matter, the way she talked to a certain Don. "I'd keep it, but it's got your spit on it... probably I'd get sick and die."
She brings her hand back, holding the pipe between two fingers with casual ease. "We gave you an offer... and that's what you give us. You're lucky we're merciful." Then she tosses it towards the old fellow, quite lightly.
Aerith Gainsborough gets a glancing blow on Old Man Li with her donk feint.
You take 8 damage.
Yuffie stands tall after whipping a giant wok at Old Man Li, and starts running forward, shrieking. She's got nothing in her hands, but OH SHIT SHE'S PICKING SOME RANDOM DEBRIS UP FROM THE GROUN-
Suddenly, Yuffie's eyes go wide, and she kind of stops dead in her tracks. There is a loud, apocalyptic sound, like something enormous plowing its way through atmosphere, and eventually a large shadow overtakes the clearing. Yuffie's eyes... constrict.
*WHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM KABOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM*
The girl's standing still when the dust clears, her eyes closed, rocks held in her hands, and brought defensively before her face. Behind her, there is a ten-foot tall meteorite, making a clear impression on the plaza. A /giant/ impression. She looks up just in time to meet a pipe to the face, and is thusly stunned.
Stunned with a grimace. It looks like she's about to swear!
One of the neon signs behind Aerith sheds the "Sexy Women" part of its promise of Loose Slots Cheap Drinks Sexy Women, which falls to the pavement with a glittery crash of neon tubes.
This does make Aerith jump a little bit. The explosion's echoes are starting to fade from her ears.
Apparently, Aerith and Yuffie have already accumulated too much bad karma, the villainous harlots! So Lady Luck loops back around and sucker-punches Cait Sith wit...
*donk* "Ow!" A light bulb falls on Cait's head. The Mog leans over and picks it up for Cait's inspection. He blinks. "That's it?"
Behind him, there's a shriek of metal as the very top of the lamp post breaks off. Inexplicably, the rest of the lamp post suddenly falls over, swings on one hinge, and slams jagged-end first into the cave moogle, sending the poor brute sprawling in a gratuitously violent explosion of plushie stuffing. "Agh!!" Cait squeals, clinging onto the Mog with all his might.
*BONK* "AGH!!" Cait screeches, the chi-infused pipe slamming him upside the head and sending the caped feline hurtling off the Moogle to land on the ground in a heap. As Reeve frantically tries to get poor Cait up and about again, it doesn't look like the robot'sgetting up any time soon.
Cait Sith switches armor modes to Cait Sith.
Hmmmmmm...Interesting! That sorceress woman would have potential if she wasn't an /evil witch trying to destroy his Feng Shui site as revenge for his heroic actions years ago/. Ah, misundrestandings. Still, Old Man Li is formidable as he is bonked with his own pipe, shooting a deadpan glare at Aerith. "Considering the things you undoubtedly did to summon such a demon, foul witch, I dobut that a bit of spit is your biggest problem. Heaven shall guide my fists, demon worshippers!" Definite misunderstandings.
He takes a deep breath, his ponytail whipping around violently as he starts drawing in chi from the surroundings, a slight white glow building around the Old Master...afore it winks out. A moment later, the Old Master himself dissapears. The Ancient Technique of RUNNING AWAY VERY QUICKLY?
Well...not quite. After all, while the Ninja and her Demon's Secondary Body are reeling from the pipe and distraction of the Demon's attempt to assault his summoners, the Old Master is making his move. There's a slight blur of silver and green behind Yuffie, afore the ninja is launched into the air by a palm strike in the small of the back. A similiar blur behind the Giant White Furry Thing, and it's launched as well. And, from that, the Old Master demonstrates why he was feared in his younger days, and still commands a healthy respect now, as he leaps into the air.
The Old Man's pulling enough Chi in and using it to move his body faster than the human eye can track, leaving only the afterimages as he assaults first Yuffie in midair, then Cait Sith, using his kicks to both juggle them both up higher, and to propel himself. Finally, at the peak of it, a story or two off the ground, the old man appears in another blur. He lightly perches on the flying Fat Furry Demon, then slams a foot downwards, hard, propelling Cait Sith towards the ground. He uses the force of the kick to flip backwards, drifting by the airborne Yuffie, spinning in midair, complete with the ponytail flying, and slams a hand down on her stomach, palm striking her towards the ground, flipping backwards once more. Hu Fu Li lands in a skid a few yards off, chi leaking off of him visibly as he flicks the long braided ponytail back over his shoulder, hiding just how much this fight's taking out of him. He could take one or two of them, but all three together is a bit much.
You critically strike Yuffie Kisaragi with your Heaven's Justice attack.
Yuffie Kisaragi is no longer stunned.
You critically strike Cait Sith with your Involves Lots Of Painful Kicking attack.
Cait Sith is no longer stunned.
Yuffie is brought back to consciousness and, for the most part, /life/, with shooting pains in her face, stomach, and more importantly, right above her butt. She kind of curls into a little ball for a moment, and proceeds to rock for a bit, clearly too far hurt to move... UNTIL SHE COMPREHENDS WHAT JUST HAPPENED. The girl's eyes, originally little portals into a hurt soul, grow firey once more. Yuffie proceeds to leap to her feet, lips parted in aghast horror, and simply points at Old Man Li.
"Y-Y-Y-Y..." More shrieking in Bitchy Oriental, it sounds like a rainbow of curses. And then finally, Yuffie's eyes glow some kind of red. Anime red. /Anime/ red.
"YOU PUNCHED ME IN THE ASS!"
Immediately, the ground beneath the giant meteorite explodes in a giant spire, a sort of inverted punch that sends the heavy ball of spacerock flying into the air. The shadow makes its way towards Old Man Li, and gets... /larger/. There's a whistling sound! Oh no!
Yuffie Kisaragi misses Old Man Li with her Anime Chick Fury + Landscaper super.
When Reeve finally gets Cait Sith's sensory and visual systems back online, he's treated to the sight of a crazy old man air-juggling Yuffie and the giant cave moogle plushie like they were /nothing/.
Cait is very glad that he'd fallen off his moogle. Crawling back to his feet, the caped cat boggles at Old Man Li for a good few seconds, gulping visibly. "Yuffie!! ... aw, man... this ain't good!" Before he can do anything, though, the small caped feline notices that a shadow's fallen over him, and when he looks up, a giant white fluffy thing fills his- "OH GOD!!" *WHUMPFCRUNCH*.
Cait Sith crawls out from beneath his trashed moogle's remains, toddles a few, unstable steps, tries to unkink his poor tail, and /glares/ at Old Man Li. "A'right, that's th' last straw!! NO one beats up my ride an' gets away with it!!" The Fairy Cat charges up once again- this time, only the red gem set in his megaphone starts to glow. "CHOCO-MOG!" ... and for one brief moment, the entire party disappears.
Wait a second... where's the yellow chocobo? And the spear-wielding moogle? All there IS is a growing shadow beneath Old Man Li's feet... and a giant, fat, white chocobo hurtling down from the sky, ready to pancake the old martial artist.
With its butt.
Cait Sith misses Old Man Li with his Choco-Mog Alternate Summon: FAT CHOCOBO attack.
Aerith's eyebrow twitches as she beholds this situation.
This HAS to finish him. She reaches up to rest one hand over her heart, slumping forward slightly and letting out a sigh of relief.
Premature victory posing?
Obviously, the attempt to destroy Old Man Li with both a Rock and a GIANT BIRDIE have resulted in a dust cloud. That means that Old Man Li, equally obviously, is not in the dust cloud. It's a rule, y'see. That, or noticed that both attacks resulted in a large shadow, and, being the cagey old master he is, he moved until he wasn't under a shadow.
As a matter of fact, he's behind Yuffie. He doesn't even have any snappy comments now. He's concentrating on beating back the ninja and her demon, before they can summon even more demons! Or ninja! Or demonic ninja! A small part of his mind is lamenting the fact that such excellent potential wives for his grandson must be demonlovers and ninja. Ah well! Many other attractive women with child-bearing hips in the sea!
Still, the Old Man hops forwards, attempting to plant both feet onto the back of Yuffie's head, then use the leverage to flip into the air, where the Flying Sparrow Pipe is sent hurtling at the Smaller Cat Demon, seeing as how it's larger symbiote has been destroyed! Hit or miss, the chi infused pipe comes snapping back to Old Man Li's hands, the old man standing in an easy, slightly swaying ready position.
You miss Yuffie Kisaragi with your Head Stomp attack.
You hit Cait Sith with your Flying Sparrow Pipe attack.
Yuffie is entirely lost to whatever ancient Oriental rage spurred the LANDSCAPER that somehow MISSED(nobody said the Earth was accurate).. on the other hand, she works this to her advantage by firstly screaming pretty much constantly, shrieking about her ass in some obscure language, and darting to the side when Li disappears. She turns, however, after he leaps into the air and wings his pipe at Cait Sith.
"AYAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!"
The slender girl heads into the air /after/ Li, hopefully kicking him in the damn jaw with her pennyloafer-clad, loose-sock garbed foot. Ka-klonk! Aerith would be so proud.
Yuffie Kisaragi critically strikes Old Man Li with her Head Kick attack.
You take 22 damage.
"FUGNYA!" Cait protests articulately as that accursed pipe once again smacks him upside the head, the force of the blow sending the poor spybot tumbling once again. For a split second, electricity crackles along Cait's form as it hits the ground- back in Midgar, Reeve winces as alarms and notices crop up on his miniature display screen. Voice Modulator, damaged; Tail Movement Protocols, off-line; Trace System, damaged; M.O.G. System, critically damaged; Megaphone Link, damaged- and the list scrolls on. Any more damage, and the /entirety/ of Cait Sith might have to be covertly taken back for repairs.
The fortune-teller staggers back to his feet, staggering around jerkily. "... w-was this even worth all this trouble, everynyan?" Cait Sith says dazedly, lifting up his megaphone and pointing it at Old Man Li. For the last time this evening, the cat's materia glows briefly; once again, the sky opens up and sends a bolt of lightning arcing down at the old man. "EaT eLeCtRiC dEaTh MeOw!!"
Cait Sith misses Old Man Li with his BOLT1! attack.
Aerith is not very proud because they are not successfully defeating the old fart.
This isn't WUTAI, Yuffie; what's your excuse? she thinks as she straightens back up, thrust back into the heat of battle. She can tell that Cait's kind of in a bad situation, so she turns around and leaves Yuffie to suffer as best she can in favor of extending her hands towards him. A materia glitters and glows, and then warm healing radiation engulfs him to soothe those poor injuries.
It better work. It's never -not- worked.
Aerith Gainsborough heals Cait Sith with her plz action.
...Hmmmmm. Being Assaulted by Angry Kunoichi in midair. Ow. That's going to require some intesne meditation to fix. Sigh. The Old Master grunts, and, cheerfully notes as the strange little demon manipulates energy and attempts to assault him with the power of lightning. Naturally, he does the simple thing.
He lets Yuffie's kick roll him backwards, rolling and chucking her into the path of the spell as he's chucked out of it.
Still, have to deal with that other little demon somehow. Ah! Right! It's been the victim of hte pipe multiple times...so, eh, why not see if Three is a lucky number today? The Pipe takes flight once more, whistling in a vicious arc just above the ground as it attempts to slam into Cait's knees.
Old Man Li does take note of the Vile Demonic Harlot Sorceress, but there's not a lot he can do at the moment. Ah well!
You critically strike Yuffie Kisaragi with your Friendly Fire attack.
You miss Cait Sith with your *BOP* attack.
You paged Yuffie Kisaragi with 'For reference, grabbed your leg and used it as a lever.'
You paged Yuffie Kisaragi with '^^;'
Yuffie hits the ground in a... sort of human puddle. The lightning attacking her in the air has rendered her rather gibbering, ocasional spasms wracking her limbs, a nerve-caused gibbering annunciating each little action. During this, she's rather forced to recall exactly what just happened.
She was thrown. Except, it was, like... a /total kung-fu worthy throw/. The girl was thrown into the air, and then INTO A LIGHTNING BOLT. Hence, all the gibbering and puddling and spasming. It was very much bad times... and Yuffie didn't look like she'd be getting up for a while. Except, as we all know, she is an RPG character, and hence, able to take ludicrous amounts of damage.
So she's back on her feet after the flashback, electricity still sparking, mad-scientist-coil-like, between two errant strands of electrified hair. The pipe is, through some odd physics, SUCKED OUT OF THE AIR BY WEIRD AND OBSCURE ELECTROMAGNETISM. Nobody understands it anyway, right?
"Hiyah! Just go to sleep, geezer! The money's all ours! Everything! Rare drops! Maybe we'll find a Power Source on one of them! Just sleep!" And this is where she throws the pipe at Old Man Li. Throws it like a javelin.
Yuffie Kisaragi critically strikes Old Man Li with her Friendly Fire Part Deux attack.
You take 18 damage.
While a robot, Cait Sith is, inexplicably, fully able to use materia AND Limit Breaks; whatever odd phenomenon lets him do that also allows the Cure to work its magic on the battered cat. Scrapes knit shut over almost-revealed metallic innards, sensitive electronics repair themselves, and even the Mog, laying on the ground face-first, spasms slightly, one hand reaching up into the air like some sort of Frankensteinian monstrosity coming back from the grave.
Back in Midgar, Reeve sighs in relief as all those alarms and alerts go silent. "Woohoo!" Vitality restored, Cait Sith jumps up into the air, letting the pipe whoosh right past his booted feet, to land on top of his Mog- which levers itself up from the ground fully. It's still battered and its stomach is torn half-open, but at least it's functional again! "Hey, I owe ya one, Aerith!" Cait crows, pumping a fist into the air. And then he winces as Yuffie tumbles to the ground, fried by his spell. "... er, and you too, Yuffie," he murmurs, ears wilting slightly.
"What th' ninja said!" Cait clicks his megaphone back on. "We'll do somethin' to help 'bout your store, so just..." The Mog jogs towards Old Man Li, one arm windmilling like mad. "... BACK OFF!!"
Cait Sith gets a glancing blow on Old Man Li with his *THWOK* attack.
You take 7 damage.
Old Man Li says, "...I have /1/ health left."
Old Man Li says, "I reserve the right to throw the fu that knocks you all down."
Cait Sith says, "... I forgot to switch back to Mog Rider."
Cait Sith says, "But also, by all means. XD"
The Old Man's looking pretty beaten up by now. He frowns seriously at both the ninja and the Furry Demon. "Hmmmm! I see you are full of foolishness. I will never accept the aid of such evil demons as you and your ninja, as well as your harlot of a summoner, Foul Creature. I shall destroy you and your crass, greedy ways!"
Annnnnd, with that, skidding backwards...the old master adopts an odd stance, both feet planted, hands out. Hey...erm...Wow. That's...that's a lot of chi. I mean, if you've got sensitivity to it, it stands out. If you're NOT sensitive to it, it feels like a really heavy pressure. The point is, there's a breeze picking up around the old man, as well as visible swirls of energy starting to coil around him, starting faint and building up until the old man's positively gleaming. And, with that, he darts forwards, feet forwrads, the chi forming to create a faint image of a dragon as he slams towards the double-teaming Demon and Ninja, attempting to launch into a simple move.
Namely, aiming at Yuffie first, Windmill Kicking her with all the fury an Old Master can muster, and then landing, turning, and attempting to slash a palm strike, complete with Chi claws, into the Furry Demon's belly and send it flying. Regardless, the old man lands after that, dropping to a knee and a hand, breathing heavily. He's good, but he's also not quite the young man he used to be. Still! He's willing to wager that these impudent children will think twice before mouthing off again!
You miss Yuffie Kisaragi with your Flying Dragon's Strike super.
You hit Cait Sith with your Dragon Claw super.
"Oh this is ridiculous," Aerith mutters, as the armlet on her upper arm glitters with light. The orb that is glowing NOW is red. She steps back as she's surrounded by green orbs of light containing a mysterious symbol, and then -
A great man, seeming as if hewn from rock, falls from the sky with a SLAM, flattening a Honda Civic Type R on impact. "Titan!" Aerith calls towards it, waving at him. "The mole men did it again! They said you look like a - you know -" She makes a waggling gesture with her hand.
The echo of the Planet's memory reacts predictably. It brings up one stony fist. "Titan not sissy man," it mutters, before slamming it into the ground hard enough to set off a strongly localized earthquake, pavement cracking and wreckage flying around, one of the more rickety nearby buildings acquiring a very faint but distressing list to one side. "TITAN S-"
It vanishes back into the ether, and Aerith looks skyward. Perhaps she is trying to seem innocent.
Aerith Gainsborough hits Old Man Li with her TITAN READ MARVEL COMICS TOO OFTEN attack.
You take 24 damage.
You have been knocked out!
"Hey guys!"
Tifa comes jogging up. This is hardcore Baywatch jogging, too. The bouncing is thunderous.
She holds up a bag of Chinese food.
"I got a bunch of free food from these really nice guys! I saved some for you!"
The bartender pauses, surveying the scene for a moment.
"Uhm. Did I miss something important?"
No, only three vicious criminals gangbeating an old man. Nothing important.
The scent of Chinese food is a strong, strong thing... especially to those trained to detect it from miles away. Namely, Yuffie. Her nostrils begin flaring a good two seconds before Li descends on her, and with a Roadrunner-esque SKOOM, she's gone in a cloud of smoke! Also, the shuriken on the ground, amidst twisted, burnt metal, is gone. Yuffie, despite obvious burns and wounds and bruises, is darting towards her Baywatched partner in crime, and with a *thwick!* sound, that bag is /gone/. Also, so is Yuffie. Also, so is her player. Rumbly tummy. :(
Thankfully for Cait Sith, the Mog took the full force of that blow- it makes for a /really/ good aggro soaker. Unfortunately for Cait Sith, the Mog... took the full force of that blow. "WHOA!" Cait barely has time to jump off before, with an audible ripping sound, the giant plushie is blasted backwards, leaving behind a trail of white, cotton stuffing before it slams into a nearby wall.
"Dammit! Not again!!" As his ride sprawls out on the pavement with its limbs all akimbo, Cait Sith manages to land on all fours, megaphone handle clutched between his teeth. Climbing back up to his feet, the cat recognizes Aerith's summoning stance. Yup, it's over. So, with a knowing sigh, he simply pats down his cape, looks his fur over for any tears, and then watches as the Titan goes about its business.
And then Tifa comes onto the scene! "Heya, Tifa!" Cait Sith sing-songs, running over to the martial artist- and punts her in the shin. Ineffectively, but the emotion's there! "Why in sam hill didn't'cha tell us that you were gonna run off like that?!" the cat screeches, flailing his tiny arms in /rage/ as he looks up at-
Somewhere in Midgar, a man's head snaps back as a fountain of blood shoots out his nose.
"... eh, on second thought, it all turned out alright," Cait Sith says mildly, giving Tifa a thumbs-up. "'Least you... used to have free food," he says, watching Yuffie dash away.
The Old Man grunts as the ground cracks, sending him flying against the wall of his restaurant, slumping down, not worthing. Congratulations, Aeris! You just beat an old man!
Annnd, at that about that time, there's the sound of tires screeching as a police car comes to a halt. They'd gotten a call a while back about some martial arts throwdown, so a couple of the local police were sent to check it out. The usual sort. A nice, respectable, good karate cop, and the slightly crazy maverick cop on the force. How do such people get assigned to work together? Possibly because someone hates them. Still. They stop, staring at the devastation, and then quickly bail out of the car, leveling guns in the direction of the sorts causing the trouble.
"Holy hell, Shu. Look at this place!"
"Hmmm. Hey, do those three look familiar?"
"Wait...I remember seeing that rack on TV the other night! HOLY HELL! IT'S THE GORGONS! CALL FOR BACKUP! CALL FOR BACKUP!"
Annnnd, while the police are obviously calling for backup on that end, there's a started yell from down the street, as several younger men in a similar getup to Old Man Li's come trotting up, looking surprised.
"Oh...man. What the heck happened he-MASTER LI!"
"WHAT?"
"LOOK!"
"Quick! Call Master Fu and Master Wu! They need to know about this!"
"On it!"
Looks like several of Li's students' students are arriving as well. Not to mention there's a new chopper overhead. I mean, martial arts battle? Whatever. Still, slow news day, anyways. Localized Earthquake? Now, THAT's news. Picking up a call that the infamous criminals the Three Gorgons have been spotted on the police bands? SIX O'CLOCK NEWS! AH YEAH! Smile, Girls! You're on candid camera!
...Especially Tifa. Oh ho ho ho.