Brigits_Flame Entry

[tigerstriped86]

brigits_flame week 2 entry:
Mamihlapinatapei (which means- in Yagan- to look at someone and try to initiate something...?) and really I think it just means that this month's prompts are all really just long-winded words for emotional encounters of some kind.

Lighter fair than what I served last week, more of my traditional style and less

Comments

[tigerstriped86]

Thanks for the comment! I actually was going to have John be laid-back through the entire thing, only really affected by Travis and not by the competition itself.

[wildcatiburn]

Aw, I really liked it! The connection between the bakers was visible and seems pretty realistic to me. Some of the sentences seemed to be awkwardly constructed, though, which kind of snagged me on reading straight through. This was really fun to read, regardless :)

[tigerstriped86]

Thanks so much!

[keppiehed]

You had me smiling at their banter. This was so cute! A very enjoyable read, to be sure, and a clever way to showcase the prompt. Thank very much for sharing!

[tigerstriped86]

You're so welcome!

[tigerstriped86]

Thanks! Glad we are competing!

[belluminabyssus]

I love reading about food! This made me very happy. :) I agree with Thora in the sense that I had no clue where they were supposed to be for over half the story -- a more concrete description at the beginning would fix that.

I did think that the beginning was a little odd; Marsha trying to set John up with her best friend's daughter really has no bearing whatsoever on the rest of the story, even if we do find out that John has kind of a thing for Travis.

Also, little pet peeve: "an overt undercurrent" is an oxymoron. If it's an undercurrent, it can't be overt; that's why it's an UNDERcurrent. :)

[tigerstriped86]

Thanks for your comments and liking most of the story!