Brigit's Flame Week 1

[tigerlilly33]

Title: It Don't Mean a Thing
Rating: PG-13
Warnings: sexual situations
Word Count: 1506
Prompt: "Introduction"
A/N: Written for November week one of

Comments

[triviaphilia]

I really like this! Can I vote for you, or is Brigit's Flame a members-only vote? :)

[tigerlilly33]

Thanks! I have no idea if you can vote without being a member, but I would guess you do. It's a really great comm. I say anyone on LJ who wants to write needs to be a part of it. It has helped me so much!

[tigerlilly33]

Awww, thanks Thora! What a nice thing to say. Reading it back, it wasn't half bad. I was so brain dead yesterday that I'm amazed it makes any sense at all!

I miss England already though :(

[chuck_the_plant]

I'm going to agree with Thora, here; you were jet-lagged and still managed to write such an amazing piece? Wow!

I very much enjoyed this. As a married man myself, I related easily to Sophie. Seeing the look of lust for another in the eyes of the person who's supposed to be devoted to you is enough to break my heart, much less imagining what's going on with them behind closed doors. I personally wanted to open those doors until I found Harry and knock his lights our for how he treated Sophie. But, then again, the foreshadowing in the beginning doesn't paint the 'perfect' marriage for the two, so maybe this was the push Sophie needed to get her out of this relationship.

Very well done!

[tigerlilly33]

Thank you! I'd like to say that I had some master plan for this story, but I really didn't. It just sort of appeared on the page and happened to make sense :)

As for the whole thing with Sophie, I can't imagine how terrible it would be to see the person you "love" go off with someone else. I guess that was the whole point. If you truly loved someone, this would never be an option. In my opinion at least.

[keppiehed]

You are finding the loopholes of apology in your A/N, missy! *stern look* There is NO WAY anyone would have been able to guess that you weren't absolutely at the top of your game when you wrote this. Something about your style is just ... I don't know. You are gripping. That's all there is to it. I would read as much as you'd care to write and still want more. So I hope you keep on writing, because you have me hooked.

[tigerlilly33]

Always with the nice words. As for the A/N, no apology intended. My brain really was deep fried when I wrote this (including that note)! I was just happy to have something down for the month. The fact that it turned out pretty well was just the gravy on top of the meatloaf.

I have lots more to read. Just you wait. I will force it upon you with a vengeance!

[keppiehed]

Well, consider this a well-gravied meatloaf! Uhhhh, yeah. I think I mean that I really loved it. (look. I have to spew the horrific metaphors somewhere or they creep into the writing, and we none of us want that. So you are doing me a service here by being the overflow-metaphor-comment person. Think of it that way, and keep on with the delicious baked good of writing deliciousness.)

[tigerlilly33]

Horrible metaphors are like my bread and butter (to go with my meatloaf. It's a meatloaf sandwich). I have to work very hard to keep them out of my writing. I also love cliches. Like "keep on trucking," "it's always darkest before the dawn," stuff like that. Why can't I include those in my stories? They're classics for a reason.

[openedlocket]

You were jet-lagged?

Wow.

I know I'm supposed to find something to edit but really. I can't see anything to change. You let Sophie's character shine through just by what she said or did. Plot was interesting and kept me reading. Good job! :D

[tigerlilly33]

Wow, thanks a lot! I had less trouble with this than with stories I plan out days in advance. Maybe the key is not thinking too much!

Thank you for the comment on Sophie's characterization. I have been working on showing and not telling for years and it's great to hear that I'm finally getting it! :)