No Son of Mine Sam/Dean
Title: No Son of Mine
Author: tifaching
Pairing: Sam/Dean
Warnings: Not taken at all seriously m-preg.
Summary: Written for a kink meme prompt: John finds out that sixteen year old Sam got twenty year old Dean pregnant and they want to keep the baby. I never heard from the prompter, so I think maybe they wanted a more serious take on this. I just couldn't do it.
Disclaimer: SPN belongs to the CW and Kripke. I just play for fun.
"You're what?" John roared, glaring at the boys on the couch in front of him. "I leave you alone for a couple of months and this is what I come back to?"
Dean slid over in front of Sam as quickly as his swollen belly wiould allow. "We're keeping it Dad."
"Dean, don't. The baby," Sam whispered.
John would laugh if there were something even remotely funny about this. He thought he'd seen a movie like this on one of those women's channels. The young couple sitting on the couch, holding hands, telling the parents that they're pregnant and they want to keep it. John was pretty sure the couple hadn't been related, pretty damn sure they hadn't both been boys and pretty fucking positive they hadn't been his sons.
"I thought that since I didn't have daughters, there was no way I'd end up with a pregnant, unwed child. I should have known that YOU," this last word was yelled directly into Dean's face, "would find a way to manage it."
"It's not like he did it all himself," Sam muttered.
"I wouldn't continue down that train of thought if I were you, Sam." John replied. "Now what did you two do while I was gone?"
"Um, I thought you didn't want to hear about that."
John sighed and wondered how these two had managed to reach the ages that they had alive. "Dean, I changed your diapers remember? You don't have the right equipment to be pregnant. And even if for some ridiculous reason you were pregnant, how are you planning to deliver it? Men don't have babies. We can't. We lack the proper exit. I thought I explained all this to you when you were nine and we'd never have to speak of it again. Now what did you two get up to while I was gone?" He held up a hand as Dean opened his mouth. "Besides that."
"Well," Sam said hesitantly, "right before we got, um, together, Dean was seeing Sandy from down the street."
"Sandy the sixteen year old daughter of the head of the local coven? That Sandy? And by seeing, I suppose you mean fucking?"
"Coven? Sandy's mom is a witch?" Dean neatly bypassed the last question.
"I know I told you that before I left,Dean."
"I must have misheard you. Dad, can't we please keep it?"
"Morning sickness, Dean. Swollen ankles, constipation, varicose veins. Unnatural spawn. Jerry Springer. Grab your gear and let's go pay the witch a visit. No son of mine is making the tabloids after the first male pregnancy C-section.
Author: tifaching
Pairing: Sam/Dean
Warnings: Not taken at all seriously m-preg.
Summary: Written for a kink meme prompt: John finds out that sixteen year old Sam got twenty year old Dean pregnant and they want to keep the baby. I never heard from the prompter, so I think maybe they wanted a more serious take on this. I just couldn't do it.
Disclaimer: SPN belongs to the CW and Kripke. I just play for fun.
"You're what?" John roared, glaring at the boys on the couch in front of him. "I leave you alone for a couple of months and this is what I come back to?"
Dean slid over in front of Sam as quickly as his swollen belly wiould allow. "We're keeping it Dad."
"Dean, don't. The baby," Sam whispered.
John would laugh if there were something even remotely funny about this. He thought he'd seen a movie like this on one of those women's channels. The young couple sitting on the couch, holding hands, telling the parents that they're pregnant and they want to keep it. John was pretty sure the couple hadn't been related, pretty damn sure they hadn't both been boys and pretty fucking positive they hadn't been his sons.
"I thought that since I didn't have daughters, there was no way I'd end up with a pregnant, unwed child. I should have known that YOU," this last word was yelled directly into Dean's face, "would find a way to manage it."
"It's not like he did it all himself," Sam muttered.
"I wouldn't continue down that train of thought if I were you, Sam." John replied. "Now what did you two do while I was gone?"
"Um, I thought you didn't want to hear about that."
John sighed and wondered how these two had managed to reach the ages that they had alive. "Dean, I changed your diapers remember? You don't have the right equipment to be pregnant. And even if for some ridiculous reason you were pregnant, how are you planning to deliver it? Men don't have babies. We can't. We lack the proper exit. I thought I explained all this to you when you were nine and we'd never have to speak of it again. Now what did you two get up to while I was gone?" He held up a hand as Dean opened his mouth. "Besides that."
"Well," Sam said hesitantly, "right before we got, um, together, Dean was seeing Sandy from down the street."
"Sandy the sixteen year old daughter of the head of the local coven? That Sandy? And by seeing, I suppose you mean fucking?"
"Coven? Sandy's mom is a witch?" Dean neatly bypassed the last question.
"I know I told you that before I left,Dean."
"I must have misheard you. Dad, can't we please keep it?"
"Morning sickness, Dean. Swollen ankles, constipation, varicose veins. Unnatural spawn. Jerry Springer. Grab your gear and let's go pay the witch a visit. No son of mine is making the tabloids after the first male pregnancy C-section.