can't believe my way back when
It's been a week since the election, and I still haven't managed to sort out all my feelings. I'm happy, I'm relieved, but mostly, I'm jealous. I'm jealous of the people who are able to whole-heartedly embrace what has happened, and, as a queer person, I can't help but feel left behind. I have a lot of complicated feelings about the passage of Proposition 8. An abbreviated list, in no particular order:
[a] If the numbers truly proved that Proposition 8 was passed soley because of higher than normal turnout among African American voters (and the numbers don't), and if there were truly no other electoral circumstances that this turnout positively influenced (and there were) and even if it was possible to unequivocally say that that African American voters were somehow directly to blame for the passage of Proposition 8 (and they aren't), don't you think it's worth considering that any real or imagined homophobia that may or may not permeate the African American community is most likely caused in large part by the fact that lateral oppression between marginalized groups is the natural byproduct of our society's systemic racism?
[b] And this isn't directly related to the point, but wrt: the above, I have seen particularly hyperbolic media call Barack Obama's election the end of racism or some other ridiculous bullshit. Obviously, the finger pointing over Proposition 8 shows how sadly untrue this is. If anything, prior to electing a person of color president, the American people didn't know how much they didn't know about racism. Now they know how much they don't know, and it's time to get to work.
[c] For better or for worse, I have turned over a new leaf wrt: the Governator. My life-long Democrat parents voted for Schwarzenegger in the last election, and I was furious with them because he had refused to sign same-sex union legislation passed in the state legislature. At the time, he said that he wanted to hear what the courts had to say. And when the courts ruled that same-sex marriage should be legalized, he honored that, and has continued to honor that, and I really respect that.
[d] I still don't think that marriage equity advocates focus enough on the intersectionality of access to marriage benefits and economic class, I still think that same-sex marriage is presented to frequently as the right for gay white men to have weddings. But I am sick and tired of hearing that the argument is moot because the government should just get out of the business of marriage all together. I have absolutely no problem with the fact that the government is in charge of designating a social, legal and economic way of linking two people together. I have a problem with the fact that I don't have access to it. If other people have a problem with that, they are more than welcome to start their own movement, but I resent being told that I should start the movement myself.
[e] More than anything, I've realized that I feel more alone in this country as an atheist than I do as a lesbian. And my feelings about my relationship to the Democratic Party have already been well-documented, so we won't reiterate that.
But that's not actually what I want to talk about! Same-sex marriage took a hit during this election, and that sucks, but I'm trying to optimistic about the extent to which this defeat seems to have galvanized the movement. However, I do want one thing: if I can't elect a president who supports my right to equal protection under the law, I at least want the Obama administration to repeal Don't Ask, Don't Tell. He's said before that he wants to repeal it, and so I'm hoping it will be swept in with things like the global gag rule (oh please oh please repeal the global gag rule). Same-sex marriage is an issue that's been, honestly, blown a little bit out of proportion, because it's such an emotional issue on both sides. There are lots of other marginalizations against LGBT people that need to be dismantled, and I think that this is an important one, and one that might finally be within our reach.
So my point, since it's Veterans Day -- I know that many people have complicated feelings on how to support veterans when they don't always support the wars that they fight. I make a monthly donation to Servicemembers Legal Defense Network, an organization that advocates for LGBT members of the US military, and if you are thinking about a way to mark Veteran's Day, I would invite you to do the same.
[a] If the numbers truly proved that Proposition 8 was passed soley because of higher than normal turnout among African American voters (and the numbers don't), and if there were truly no other electoral circumstances that this turnout positively influenced (and there were) and even if it was possible to unequivocally say that that African American voters were somehow directly to blame for the passage of Proposition 8 (and they aren't), don't you think it's worth considering that any real or imagined homophobia that may or may not permeate the African American community is most likely caused in large part by the fact that lateral oppression between marginalized groups is the natural byproduct of our society's systemic racism?
[b] And this isn't directly related to the point, but wrt: the above, I have seen particularly hyperbolic media call Barack Obama's election the end of racism or some other ridiculous bullshit. Obviously, the finger pointing over Proposition 8 shows how sadly untrue this is. If anything, prior to electing a person of color president, the American people didn't know how much they didn't know about racism. Now they know how much they don't know, and it's time to get to work.
[c] For better or for worse, I have turned over a new leaf wrt: the Governator. My life-long Democrat parents voted for Schwarzenegger in the last election, and I was furious with them because he had refused to sign same-sex union legislation passed in the state legislature. At the time, he said that he wanted to hear what the courts had to say. And when the courts ruled that same-sex marriage should be legalized, he honored that, and has continued to honor that, and I really respect that.
[d] I still don't think that marriage equity advocates focus enough on the intersectionality of access to marriage benefits and economic class, I still think that same-sex marriage is presented to frequently as the right for gay white men to have weddings. But I am sick and tired of hearing that the argument is moot because the government should just get out of the business of marriage all together. I have absolutely no problem with the fact that the government is in charge of designating a social, legal and economic way of linking two people together. I have a problem with the fact that I don't have access to it. If other people have a problem with that, they are more than welcome to start their own movement, but I resent being told that I should start the movement myself.
[e] More than anything, I've realized that I feel more alone in this country as an atheist than I do as a lesbian. And my feelings about my relationship to the Democratic Party have already been well-documented, so we won't reiterate that.
But that's not actually what I want to talk about! Same-sex marriage took a hit during this election, and that sucks, but I'm trying to optimistic about the extent to which this defeat seems to have galvanized the movement. However, I do want one thing: if I can't elect a president who supports my right to equal protection under the law, I at least want the Obama administration to repeal Don't Ask, Don't Tell. He's said before that he wants to repeal it, and so I'm hoping it will be swept in with things like the global gag rule (oh please oh please repeal the global gag rule). Same-sex marriage is an issue that's been, honestly, blown a little bit out of proportion, because it's such an emotional issue on both sides. There are lots of other marginalizations against LGBT people that need to be dismantled, and I think that this is an important one, and one that might finally be within our reach.
So my point, since it's Veterans Day -- I know that many people have complicated feelings on how to support veterans when they don't always support the wars that they fight. I make a monthly donation to Servicemembers Legal Defense Network, an organization that advocates for LGBT members of the US military, and if you are thinking about a way to mark Veteran's Day, I would invite you to do the same.