Now complete. I'll be emailing it to qowf momentarily and hoping she doesn't rip it apart, because I don't think I'm willing to change much of it. But here it is, complete. Hope you enjoy.
Damn right. You should feel accomplished. This is an incredible piece of writing.
I love the symmetry of it, first of all--beginning and ending with Faramir's fevered state, first from Denethor's pov, and then from Pippin's pov (the subtle differences in details and mood are potent).
Dernhelm's nightmare, too, is great. With his hand on her shoulder, and she touches his hand? What a wonderful, sensuous moment--one where the knowing reader gives a pleased hoot that he's touching Eowyn, and she knows he doesn't realize it!.
Gah... and the branding of Lobelia's feet? Disturbing and wonderful. I love this glimpse into the horrors taking place in the Shire during this time. It really brings the focus of the danger back to Denethor's mad state, somehow.
On and on and on. There's so much here! I really like this line--Firienfeld, the last eyrie for the Rohirrim unable due to sex or age to fly away South to Gondor. And, you know, every other line in the whole story.
It just screams SUBMIT ME! I MUST BE READ BY ALL!PS: Dude, talking
( ... )
I want to clone you and keep you by my side, whispering words of encouragement in my ears.
Thank you so much for your comments!! I did just realize, however, that I need to tighten up the last section, because it's still very much from Denethor's POV, not Pippin's. Whoops.
What a wonderful, sensuous moment--one where the knowing reader gives a pleased hoot that he's touching Eowyn, and she knows he doesn't realize it!
*nodding* Exactly. It's part of why I so enjoy writing about the interplay between Eowyn/Dernhelm and Merry. If it's from Merry's POV, he's with a young man. He cannot assume anything else. If you have Eoywn's POV, it gets more complicated. God I love Tolkien!!
"Firienfeld, the last eyrie for the Rohirrim unable due to sex or age to fly away South to Gondor."
I'm so glad that you like that line as much as I do. As I was rereading this last night, that one still jumped out at me. One of those "did I really write that??" kindof lines.
PS: Dude, talking ravens rock my world! I totally want one.Yeah. Had much fun
( ... )
If you clone me... that means you have to feed me, right?
Of course! Though I'm not a very good cook, unless you like tomato soup and grilled cheese sandwiches. Mine are excellent. ;)
Are you going to send this whopper around to the various archives once you polish it to your satisfaction?
Probably. What I tend to do is submit it to HASA first, and if it gets into the public archive, then I'll drop it over at Parma, SOA and Open Scrolls. And on my website.
Must admit to much glee this morning: somebody else asked to archive one of my stories! That's four now, I think!! **squeee**
Comments 6
I love the symmetry of it, first of all--beginning and ending with Faramir's fevered state, first from Denethor's pov, and then from Pippin's pov (the subtle differences in details and mood are potent).
Dernhelm's nightmare, too, is great. With his hand on her shoulder, and she touches his hand? What a wonderful, sensuous moment--one where the knowing reader gives a pleased hoot that he's touching Eowyn, and she knows he doesn't realize it!.
Gah... and the branding of Lobelia's feet? Disturbing and wonderful. I love this glimpse into the horrors taking place in the Shire during this time. It really brings the focus of the danger back to Denethor's mad state, somehow.
On and on and on. There's so much here! I really like this line--Firienfeld, the last eyrie for the Rohirrim unable due to sex or age to fly away South to Gondor. And, you know, every other line in the whole story.
It just screams SUBMIT ME! I MUST BE READ BY ALL!PS: Dude, talking ( ... )
Reply
Thank you so much for your comments!! I did just realize, however, that I need to tighten up the last section, because it's still very much from Denethor's POV, not Pippin's. Whoops.
What a wonderful, sensuous moment--one where the knowing reader gives a pleased hoot that he's touching Eowyn, and she knows he doesn't realize it!
*nodding* Exactly. It's part of why I so enjoy writing about the interplay between Eowyn/Dernhelm and Merry. If it's from Merry's POV, he's with a young man. He cannot assume anything else. If you have Eoywn's POV, it gets more complicated. God I love Tolkien!!
"Firienfeld, the last eyrie for the Rohirrim unable due to sex or age to fly away South to Gondor."
I'm so glad that you like that line as much as I do. As I was rereading this last night, that one still jumped out at me. One of those "did I really write that??" kindof lines.
PS: Dude, talking ravens rock my world! I totally want one.Yeah. Had much fun ( ... )
Reply
Okay. I'm game.
;-)
PS: Are you going to send this whopper around to the various archives once you polish it to your satisfaction?
Reply
Of course! Though I'm not a very good cook, unless you like tomato soup and grilled cheese sandwiches. Mine are excellent. ;)
Are you going to send this whopper around to the various archives once you polish it to your satisfaction?
Probably. What I tend to do is submit it to HASA first, and if it gets into the public archive, then I'll drop it over at Parma, SOA and Open Scrolls. And on my website.
Must admit to much glee this morning: somebody else asked to archive one of my stories! That's four now, I think!! **squeee**
Reply
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