This is one of those placeholder comments to remind myself that I really want to talk about this! I just can't do it at this moment. But I'm so glad you opened the subject for discussion.
It has pained me at times to do things like go to science museums and see so called 'diligent parents' letting their kids treat hands-on science experiments like playgrounds. Yes, enjoy the science, enjoy the experiment... it is a place to play in a manner of speaking. But it's also a place to learn, and you have to respect that. I have actually had parents glare at me for a kid running wild, running into my legs when I was standing still, fall down and start crying
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i blame much on permissive parenting. parents want to be friends with their children and treat them as equals. it's very problematic. no boundaries....
I have a seperate rant about that. I know (closely) a woman who tried so hard to be a good mom, did all the "right things"- took them to soccer and all that, got them things, cooked for them, etc. Her kids are insane. Well, in one case was insane. The boy kept getting into trouble in every way he could (no bounderies). He caused the last major Malibu fire. Every time his mom got a cal she was wondering if he were in prison (again) or in the hospital. He finally crashed his car for the 6th time, without a seatbelt (which would have saved him) and died. Yuck.
It's been a long time since I've dealt with children on any immediate level, but I think people our age benefit from the last round of truly competent parenting.
You know what I blame?
I blame video games.
Hand to God. Kids who were handed a Gameboy at age twelve = malajusted. Kids who were brought to the dinner table to eat and converse and interact = smart, friendly, polite kids with opinions of their own and respect for those of other people. My youngest nephew (now almost seventeen! yikes!) has constant access to video games, and it's all but impossible to interact with him.
Your kids aren't your friends, they're your kids -- they're your responsibility to teach to treat other people as you would have other people treat them. And I love children, but the more I think about it, I'm honestly not sure whether or not I'm cut out to have any of my own. Now, I suppose, is the time to make this decision.
I think video games are one significant piece of it, yes- in the hands of parents who don't counter, channel or monitor them especially. I have a whole series of posts on that sometime in may. There's a book called "Stop Teaching our kids to kill" written by a military instructor about video games.
I blame video games too-not so much for the content as for the addictive nature of them. Kids end up preferring playing video games to anything else, and their lives shrink to nothing.
That too. THough getting an endorphen rush every time you shoot a very realistic looking person is not so good either. But yes- I'm startled by the fact that so many kids seem to get bored instantly and demand to be entertained They are losing the ability to invent their own games.
Re overexplaining: One area that I think bears more explaining than it gets is the impact of the child's actions on others' feelings. My mom was big on that 'cause she was a child psych grad student when I was little and I think it worked well in helping both my sister and me understand not only empathy for others but cause and effect in general.
I agree about learning about empathy--there's really no other way to teach it than to try to get people to put themselves in one another's position--and the way to do that is to talk with them. One thing, though: sometimes the time to explain isn't right at the time of the incident--when maybe tempers are running high and the kids aren't necessarily thinking straight. Sometimes it might be later. Here's something I witnessed, for example, at a playground
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It has pained me at times to do things like go to science museums and see so called 'diligent parents' letting their kids treat hands-on science experiments like playgrounds. Yes, enjoy the science, enjoy the experiment... it is a place to play in a manner of speaking. But it's also a place to learn, and you have to respect that. I have actually had parents glare at me for a kid running wild, running into my legs when I was standing still, fall down and start crying ( ... )
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It's been a long time since I've dealt with children on any immediate level, but I think people our age benefit from the last round of truly competent parenting.
You know what I blame?
I blame video games.
Hand to God. Kids who were handed a Gameboy at age twelve = malajusted. Kids who were brought to the dinner table to eat and converse and interact = smart, friendly, polite kids with opinions of their own and respect for those of other people. My youngest nephew (now almost seventeen! yikes!) has constant access to video games, and it's all but impossible to interact with him.
Your kids aren't your friends, they're your kids -- they're your responsibility to teach to treat other people as you would have other people treat them. And I love children, but the more I think about it, I'm honestly not sure whether or not I'm cut out to have any of my own. Now, I suppose, is the time to make this decision.
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