FFVII/Green Day, Walking Contradiction

[thorne_scratch]

And lo, there was fic. Extremely specialized fic that I think has taken over the title of weirdest crossover in my own writing. Given that that particular crown was previously resting with my Dobby/Gollum matchup, I am vaguely pleased and a little concerned.

Comments

[feels_like_fire]

OH MY GOD I WAS LITERALLY *JUST* GIVING YOU SHIT ABOUT THIS AHHHHHHHHH AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA BRB SHITTING MYSELF AND READING IT AVIDLY

I LOVE YOU FOREVER

OH MY GOD

[thorne_scratch]

I KNOW I KNOW I LOVE THE WHOLE TIMING OF YOUR TEXTS AND COMMENTS; IT'S LIKE WATCHING YOU IN REAL TIME.

I LOVE YOU FOREVER TOO.

WHY ARE YOU LEAVING MEEEEEE.

[feels_like_fire]

I AM NOT LEAVING I AM COMING BACK! You know if you wanted to be ~fancy you could come down to Australia while I was there. JUST SAYING. ....that would probably be expensive though. But fun!

I WILL COME BAAAACK! I LOVE YOU. Whyyy have we not managed to meet up again? This is a big failure on my part. Also tragic. I want to come see your house, and meet Louise! AND GET REALLY DRUNK WITH YOU.

[thorne_scratch]

I would love to visit Australia. Which bit are you going to be in? I have a bunch of people I'd love to visit over there; it's just a frakkin' huge place which would require a lot of planning and air tickets. mrr.

Well, our last meet up was jossed by the fact my mom didn't get her kidney out after all, which was going to be the reason I was in San Francisco, but you are always, always welcome in my neck of the woods, and I have a memory foam mattress that you are welcome to crash on.

God, the things you and Louise and I could get up to. I fear the place would be on fire two hours in, and that's a conservative estimate.

[feels_like_fire]

OKAY I READ IT

STILL TALKING IN CAPSLOCKS AHHHH *dies laughing* Oh my GOD this is HYSTERICAL and AWESOME and and and AHHHHHAHAHAHAHA OH MY GOD WHAT

"For the hitting or the moving?" Mike asks.

"It's multi-purpose," the man says, and then, "please stand back."

It happens so fast that Billie Joe can barely follow the blurred arc of the guy's arm as he reaches into his jacket and removes a really fucking enormous gun; his balls don't even have time to properly flee upwards into his body before the man does some deft little twitch of his fingers that shifts the gun around in his hand, and he brings it down and pistol-whips the redhead in a move that's incredibly graceful and horribly violent and really, really practiced-looking. Hiding behind Mike suddenly seems sort of inadequate, but Billie Joe does it anyway because, Jesus.

Beer-thief stranger drops like a stone. Impressively, he's still holding onto the last can of PBR.
I COULD QUOTE THE WHOLE THING

[thorne_scratch]

ARE YOU READING THIS ON YOUR IPHONE? GOD BLESS TECHNOLOGY.

Man, that's a relief, I was reading it and I was all, "She's gonna hate it! This makes no sense! Whatever, fuck it, Imma post it anyway." So, it makes me incredibly happy that you liked it, and I'm sorry that it took me, uh. Like two years to finish writing.

I almost want a PBR right now. Almost. My college's shitty beer (not bear, Thorne, not bear; that's something else entirely) of choice was Natty Boh, which is at least in the same family. And you know what, this almost was turning out gen, and then I was getting mad at the hockey game, and the story decided, "Fuck it, we're gonna have some blowjobs all up in here." Hopefully, next time I'll get around to actual smut for you.

I can't wait until you return and we get to have a grand New York adventure together. It will be the event of the season. Much love!

[velithya]

oh, reno.

[thorne_scratch]

Reno is special! His mom always told him so.

(Actually, I love that about Reno. In my mind, in FF7, he's perfectly comfortable being himself, which is good since no one else necessarily wants to be Reno. Twig and I have this theory that every night, no matter what he's done, he falls asleep feeling triumphant.

This is a marked difference from Cloud, who, every night even if he's saved the world that day, falls asleep feeling like he hasn't done enough. Rufus always wonders why they don't explode when they're in the same room together.)

[velithya]

Of course she did! And she was right.

No-one else has the alcohol tolerance to be Reno!

[thorne_scratch]

I still have the fanon theory that Reno's parents are totally fucking normal, and have no idea what their darling boy gets up to on his dayjob, except it's some sort of government thing.

Rufus: We always assumed he was raised by wolves.
Sephiroth: Or budded off a fungus.
Zack: My vote was with aliens!
Elena: Escaped circus geek.

[hypocampothetic]

HEEEEEEEEEEEEE. I love your fics. Something about the tone makes everything infinitely funnier (although Reno is hilarious all by himself).

[thorne_scratch]

Aww, thank you! That's the biggest compliment to me, if someone finds something funny. (Reno is pretty goddamn hilarious on his own, though. You're quite right there.)