Now I just have to iron out the last part! This took so long because I essentially rewrote the whole thing from scratch, all the while shouting, "WHY CAN'T YOU FIT MY VISION?!"
This is why I really shouldn't do ficathons or exchanges.
McDonaldland is pretty much a verbatim conversation I had with someone else. (Personally, I am on Aaron's side.)
It is not abandoned! It just has, uh, twenty plus pages that need to be kicked into shape. Coincidentally, that's where all the sex is. But I promise to have that out a lot sooner than this piece took. Thanks!
...yeah, I'd so totally forgotten it and had to re-read a chunk of part one before the memory was jogged. -_-
I think at this point the only comment I can leave about your dialog is "Who cares where it comes from, it is awesome!" Definitely some of the most natural conversation I've ever seen in a written narrative, with awesome characterization and development to boot. The bromance! The drama! The embarrassment! The awkwardness! I wish I knew how you did this so well, not just the actual conversation pieces but the overall flow and structure. I'd have been done with Patriotsverse #4 six months ago instead of being a page or so away when November started if I could write a day like any other half as well as this.
Yeah, I figured no one would remember it at all, since I'm so late with finishing it. Blargh.
I like writing dialogue; it's probably my favorite thing to do in fic. This particular story has given me a devil of a time, not only because I didn't have an ending in mind for much of it, but because I was trying a new format with the back and forth time jumps, and having to keep track of things much more closely. Also because even though it's, you know, make believe, I'm still a stickler for facts and I wanted to make sure all of this lined up correctly timewise (and somewhat factwise) with the 2004 Olympics. I hope you like the last part when I get it up there!
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This is why I really shouldn't do ficathons or exchanges.
McDonaldland is pretty much a verbatim conversation I had with someone else. (Personally, I am on Aaron's side.)
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The conversations with all the guys are great - very spot-on sports-dude behaviour XD
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I'm glad you liked those! I have a lot of brothers; I just wholesale lift real life conversations.
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I am willing to take that risk.
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Okay, okay. I'll tell you the secret behind it, but first you have to let me hit you with a ham.
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...yeah, I'd so totally forgotten it and had to re-read a chunk of part one before the memory was jogged. -_-
I think at this point the only comment I can leave about your dialog is "Who cares where it comes from, it is awesome!" Definitely some of the most natural conversation I've ever seen in a written narrative, with awesome characterization and development to boot. The bromance! The drama! The embarrassment! The awkwardness! I wish I knew how you did this so well, not just the actual conversation pieces but the overall flow and structure. I'd have been done with Patriotsverse #4 six months ago instead of being a page or so away when November started if I could write a day like any other half as well as this.
Reply
I like writing dialogue; it's probably my favorite thing to do in fic. This particular story has given me a devil of a time, not only because I didn't have an ending in mind for much of it, but because I was trying a new format with the back and forth time jumps, and having to keep track of things much more closely. Also because even though it's, you know, make believe, I'm still a stickler for facts and I wanted to make sure all of this lined up correctly timewise (and somewhat factwise) with the 2004 Olympics. I hope you like the last part when I get it up there!
Reply
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