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Comments 30

shati November 1 2006, 01:48:31 UTC
I suddenly feel like such a good roommate!

My only tale of cruelty-to-roommates involves my roommate at summer Chinese school. Once -- and I don't know why she did this; she knew me well enough by then to know it was stupid -- she confided in me her terror of the word . . . nipples.

As it turned out, she would actually flinch upon hearing it. The word drove her nuts. So naturally I would spring it on her at every opportunity, and sometimes in Chinese.

Our neighbors never asked why they kept hearing shrieks of, "Nipples, nipples, NIPPLES!" at 2 in the morning.

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thorne_scratch November 1 2006, 02:24:14 UTC
You are probably an excellent roommate. My family just tends to foster grudges and spite. And besides, what is college for except to educate our youth in new and horrible ways to commit petty acts of malice on each other?

And also, HEE. Nipples. That's totally awesome. I used to wait until I knew my roommate was napping or until odd hours of the night, then dash into the room with a glass of water and reenact the exorcism scene from "The Exorcist" on her, screeching about the power of Christ compelling her and flicking water at her.

We got along shockingly well despite that.

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shadow_shimmer November 1 2006, 06:43:10 UTC
One time, when my brother and I were still renting a house together, he passed out drunk on the couch and two of my friends and I rearranged all of the living room furniture including the couch that he was on. The end goal was to actually get the couch outside and onto the lawn, but we lost motivation before then. Watching him wake up and walk DIRECTLY into the entertainment center was sublime enough.

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thorne_scratch November 1 2006, 15:08:47 UTC
Awesome. There is no lack of fun things to do with the drunk; plus, passing out while drunk tacitly gives everyone else permission to do whatever they hell they can with your body in the name of prankage until they pass out as well. (Within reason, of course, I'm learning to cover my ass on these sort of statements.)

Did you take pictures?

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zenkatsuo November 1 2006, 09:08:15 UTC
I've never had a roommate, but there's a neighbor I don't like so I quite often plan things like pouring blood or flinging burning matches down her mail-box. Not exactly wise considering I might burn down the house I happen to live in too if I ever did it. But it seems more harmless than wanting to poison her dog.

I dunno, peppering the cereal, switching salt and sugar and pouring water into peoples shoes are pretty hard to deny.

The moat full of bears is somethng I'll need to get for myself.

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thorne_scratch November 1 2006, 15:12:02 UTC
Yeah, while the temptation to do worse things is very great, sometimes just simple acts of pure spite are the best. Annoying people is a lot more fun than just getting them angry.

I dunno, peppering the cereal, switching salt and sugar and pouring water into peoples shoes are pretty hard to deny.

Well, yes and no. I mean, they're such small and simple things, you can usually bold-face lie your way out of it. There's no real motivation behind acts like that. Whereas dead animal heads usually don't just appear in the bathroom, and you usually have to have some sort of half-assed explnanation for it.

Everyone needs a moat of bears.

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zenkatsuo November 2 2006, 11:10:42 UTC
The temptation is so great mostly because it's the dogs constant barking and howling that pisses me off. I project all my spite on the neighbor because it's so wrong to hate a poor little helpless dog that just didn't get a proper training.
We had a crew of guys doing the bathroom two years ago and one of them just couldn't stop talking about "special sausages" for the dog...

A person with face like mine can't lie about peppering the cereal any more than about an animal head in the shover. I'm see-thru like a window. This was something you've actually done, right? Actually, if you said it, I think I'd believe it just miraculously appeared.

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thorne_scratch November 2 2006, 14:59:54 UTC
Yeah, that can be totally annoying. I feel for you; the dog we take care of loves to start howling at three in the morning.

I've done a lot of lying in my life. But sadly, I was not the original perpetrator of the sheep/pig head in the shower; that was Nick and I only consulted on that one.

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soranokumo November 1 2006, 16:07:42 UTC
Moat full of bears!

...it seriously gives me odd thoughts to Katamari Damacy.

...and if only I had had the guts to do things back to certain roommates back when I had the chance! Alas, mostly I just looked on in distress as their Stuff tried to take over my corner of the room. (Because apparently the tower as well as all the other corners of the room just wasn't enough.)

However, there was that one thing with the rotten banana but you know, even though I actually had nothing to do with that, it's kind of satisfying looking back on it now.

Huzzah music! Provided I actually have internet when I get back home this afternoon, I'll have to grab some of those.

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thorne_scratch November 1 2006, 16:58:23 UTC
It is destined to be the next great internet phenomenon movie. Man, Katamari Damacy. It brings back wonderful memories of sashaying.

Those roommates deserved it. But you were the better person, so you should take solace in that. But you know, accidental pranks are the best kind. The alarm clock, that was a total accident on my part, but you should have seen how irate she was when I got back. It only made me resolve to do it again.

I hope you like whatever music you grab!

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velithya November 4 2006, 06:40:35 UTC
Bears! Moat! Moat full of bears! That is the most awesome thing ever, and like Flidget I am wondering how on earth you're going to top it.

Am grabbing a selection of your tasty, tasty music :) Thanks for posting!

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edit velithya November 4 2006, 06:42:15 UTC
I should add, I can't say I've ever been involved in pranks like that. I think I, I'm just too nice ^^; Even if I really hated someone, I wouldn't fuck with their shit, because that's just mean. ...of course, I've never actually lived in shared accomodation either, so I can't say for certain :)

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Re: edit thorne_scratch November 4 2006, 16:54:16 UTC
Oh, I know you're nice. And I'm actually a very nice person too; you can ask Twig, she's met me.

But. You must trust me when I say that these were heinous people who deserved to have their shit fucked with. Living with people you hate can make you do bizarre things, particularly if you're hampered with a mutual desire to make life miserable without anyone actually getting expelled. You'd think we'd all be mature about it, but nope. I do hope you won't have the same experience, but into nearly all lives, a terrible housemate must fall at some point.

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thorne_scratch November 4 2006, 16:48:41 UTC
One word: goats.

I'm glad you're taking the music! I hope you like whatever you end up grabbing! (Particularly if you grab "Land Down Under." Snerk.)

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