I beat my machine, it’s a part of me, it’s inside of me

[thorne_scratch]

I promise to stop talking about my life and do a music post in the next few days, but I can't think fandom while I'm still trying to make it all the way through the dub of AC. I totally can't do it all in one sitting; my brain literally tries to escape from my skull unless I quell it with alcohol. This has meant that I've tried to keep track of the

Comments

[flidgetjerome]

I've had that "OH MY GOD I AM AN ADULT" moment quite a few times in the past few years, when doing things like paying my electric bill or buying a desk or arranging my pension.

It hasn't managed to last, though. I think it's something about how I spend most of my money on comicbooks and videogames. I know it's probably not healthy to allow myself to become a perpetually immature manchild, but it is very comfortable.

Your current situation sounds pretty uncomfortable. On the otherhand I've always found it somewhat comforting to at least know what I'll be doing six months down the line, unless what I am about to be doing is being chased by an angry giant rat or something. But I don't know if your situation is that sort of situation so I can't really say. I hope it isn't or you'll probably end up with The Plague.

[thorne_scratch]

Hee hee. Somehow that is so humorous to envision. Yeah, I freak out when realizing how much thought I'm putting into a 401K plan.

I think the main problem is that because I'm still at home, being still in the process of scraping together enough funds to no longer be at home, it's a very weird mixture of trying to be somewhat of an adult and then coming home and my parents automatically reverting my age to, like, twelve or something. And there's a whole host of other issues involved that come with the glory of work through nepotism, but instead we shall sit and contemplate you in your burrow of comicbooks and videogames. It is a glorious image.

There are no rats involved, at least not giant ones, but what I know I'll be doing some months down the line is not at all pleasant, which is why knowing the future is sort of a bummer in this case. Further updates as events warrant. The Plague warrants.

[thorne_scratch]

It's... the clones sound constantly stoned, the kids sound obnoxious, Tifa sounds squeaky, Yuffies is squeakier, Cid sounds too young and Texan, Cait Sith is Irish, Barrett is Blackdude Everyman, Vincent is John Wayne, Rufus and the Turks just sound off, Cloud sounds like he has no emotions whatsoever, and Sephiroth sounds like a cross between a High Moff and a Victorian opium addict.

I'm glad you like the cat!

I'm not too much older-- hey, I'm only a year past legal drinking age-- but I do my best to utterly ignore it. (And I was free, free as the wind blows)

[thorne_scratch]

Maybe it improves wildly in the second half, but I'm not holding my breath. I think I'm going to just stay as well-lit as I can while finishing watching it in English, and then promptly watch it only in Japanese from now on.

Oh, it's not offensive, I just boggle at the idea that anyone anywhere could ever think I was wise. For real, man. You're talking to someone who regularly puts both legs into one pants leg while getting dressed in the morning.

[sakuranochi]

Have you ever just stood on the edge of a situation and known there was no possible way of avoiding it? Like, you looked at all your options and you realized that they're all the same, and that there's nothing you could do to make it any better? Considered all possible outcomes and realized that there's only one? You'd think there'd be a little bit of relief in it-- I mean, just a little, since you've at least lost the difficulty of needing to make choices, and you know what's going to happen. The devil you know versus devil you don't, or something.

That's how some of us feel about life, dear.

[thorne_scratch]

Oh, I'm not claiming any unique snowflakeness or monopoly on the feeling. I just find it frustrating to be falling down all these stairs. Le sigh.

[jadedsilk]

Amen. Every day sort of feels like that to me, so I guess you aren's as alone as you thought ^_^ :big hugs:

[thorne_scratch]

Yeah, I know there's a lot of other folks out there with similar (or much worse) problems, so at least thre's that solidaroty. Although it feels kind of mean to take comfort in the fake other folks have it worse. Thanks!

[jadedsilk]

It's not mean at all. Its reality, take comfort in it if it brings you some, you know? :nods sagely:

[penm]

SECRET WHEELCHAIR STASH, VENDING MACHINE??!! NAVEL. (2 drk)

HAHAHAHA.

And?

But I feel like I'm standing at the top of a flight of stairs with a locked door behind me, looking down.

Me too, for some reason. Me too.

[thorne_scratch]

Whatever it was, we can probably surmise it was worth at least two drinks!

And man, seems like a lot of people are having these sort of issues. I hope yours get better.