[fic] Kingdom Hearts II One Shot - SAYONARA, WATASHI NO AI
Title: Kingdom Hearts II One Shot - SAYONARA, WATASHI NO AI
Author: winged_requiem
Series: Post-Kingdom Hearts II, about four months after the events come to a close I have officially decided Sora beat Xemnas in spring, okay. Cos it's. Summer.
Pairing: The love that is Axel/Roxas, for the main one. Also has a lot of Sora/Kairi in for good measure.
Characters: Sora, Kairi, Naminé, Riku, Axel, Roxas.
Rating: Teen (13+)
Type: One Shot.
Summary: Axel's lonely, and gets the chance to go back to the 'real' world to see Roxas, in a vain home Roxas is still around. Sora is living his days as a normal school-kid with his best friends. Enter Axel, who gets easily riled and does a few things that he might not care to remember later. Drama, angst, emo, and fluff follows.
Notes: Emo. Very. Emo. Read if you dare. It's very very long, this one, it was a good fourteen pages in word, I believe. A lot of the ghosts, spirits, and nobody switching is purely speculation of idealistic things I would like to see happen in Kingdom Hearts, or I just believe in as a whole. Don't take it literally. Oh. Title translation - 'Farewell, My Love'. There's usage of 'baka' (idiot) in here as well.
Here on the border between life and death, the surrounding area was dismal - not that the border had any weather, but that was beside the point. The area was bleak, but that was of no surprise. It merely served as a corridor to connect the two worlds together, little more than two sidesteps across. It gave off the aura of abandoned sewers yet without the added stench. Souls came and went, most leaving life behind and wandering into whatever the 'afterlife' was. Hopefully, something much better than the border itself - yet some souls still clung forcefully to it. 'Unfinished business', as it was called.
There was an unusual sight that caused quite a stir between the souls that cared to watch as they walked in lines down the passages, and those that hung around for the moment where they could plague the living beyond. For starters, this man shouldn't even be here. He didn't have a soul; yet, he never had a heart. He'd never been anything, so to even be here must be something entirely abnormal. Whisperings and rumours grew among the whistling wind that picked up around the corners, as he sat against the side of one of the walls, an obvious obstruction. Unbeknownst to him, the rumours seemed to be quite accurate.
Axel ignored them all. He didn't really care what they had to say - or not to say - about him. Granted, it was even odd he was capable of being able to physically sit here: all the other souls failed on that account. Yet, it was even more odd that he was here in the first place. He didn't care. He had a promise to keep, or he felt it was, and he wasn't about to break it. He was waiting. Waiting for his partner. Roxas.
He shuffled slightly - despite his resolves, it didn't stop this entire task being as boring as hell. From what he'd gathered from the slight conversations he'd picked up from the spirits that visited the living, it had been little more than four months since everything had wound down to silence for Sora and his friends. And considering the fact he was already bored out of his mind, with nothing to do except cling to the fading memories of Roxas, it wasn't exactly a happy prospect of spending the next however many years it would be before Roxas passed this way.
"I've got to get out of here," Axel voiced aloud, managing to push himself upright on the wall, but finding his feet unable to move backward towards life, and only forward towards death. Grumbling, he flung himself back to the floor again - this would also keep him busy for a very, very long time.
Someone heard him. "You want to get out?"
Axel looked up. "... Yes," he replied, glancing around at all the spirits strolling mindlessly past - none of which paid him the slightest piece of attention. Who was it, then? It's not one of those...
"I'll help you get out. You're bored, aren't you? You can't go on because you promised to wait. You can't go back because you gave up on life. But I'll help you go back."
Axel frowned. He wouldn't immediately trust a voice he couldn't see, but the idea was an interesting one, none the less. One he might even consider taking. "What's in it for you?"
The voice laughed. "Nothing. Apart from the fact to see if a physical entity can return to the living as those spirits can." As if on cue, several went whistling past, gliding high above the others in a cackling sound of glee as they went back down to the worlds they had departed.
Well, that was an offer with no strings, indeed. But that had to be a catch. There was always a catch. "What's the catch?" he folded his arms, raising an eyebrow at something he couldn't see.
A satisfied, snarky laugh was his response. "No catch. Except whatever happens when you go there is your fault. Not mine."
He opened his mouth to object, but found himself agreeing. This was typical of Axel. "I do want to see him again. Make sure he's alright." Heck, Axel. You know it's for more than that. Don't kid yourself.
"Then go," was the reply, and Axel was once again left standing in the middle of the pathways linking life and death. Yet now? He could walk towards life. Breaking into a run, he dashed hastily round a one corner then another, and another, all the meanwhile gaining sight of the world of the living.
***
It was early summer. Sora had been back on the islands for a while now, finally settled back into the routine of a normal, everyday kid. Or, so everyone hoped. There was just one little thing he was having a hard time adjusting too.
Kairi and Riku were waiting for him at the gates. "Sora!" Kairi called, waving him over with something of enthusiasm.
Sora, on the contrary, was far from enthusiastic. "Kairi?" he whined, rubbing his forehead to feign tiredness. "Why do I have to go to school?"
Riku sighed. "C'mon, Sora. We've explained this a million and one times. We're staying on the islands till Mi- I mean the King - wants us. And until then, we're living normal lives again."
"There's one advantage to being a hero and risking your life everyday," Sora replied glumly, walking straight past Riku, still slouching like a zombie. "No school."
"It could have been worse," Kairi pointed out, grabbing hold of Sora's arm before he waltzed straight into the gatepost. "From all the time you've missed, you could have been put down a year. Same for you, Riku."
"I dunno how Sora evaded it," Riku sighed, as Sora stared blankly ahead of him, his legs still 'walking' in momentum, still failing to realise Kairi had stopped him from moving. "I can catch up easily. Sora, however, is such an airhead."
Sora seemed to respond to that, spinning round on the spot with a mixed fury of 'Say that again!' and almost falling over and getting completely tangled up from Kairi still having hold of his arm. The prior, which, he somehow still managed, ending up on the floor with Kairi alongside him, who had finally had the sense to let go of Sora's arm.
"Ah... sorry, Sora..." Kairi apologised, all the meanwhile hiding her face away from the satisfied grin Riku was giving the pair of them.
"It's alright..." Sora replied hastily, but seemed to get lost as he continued the sentence, slowing down till he was gradually left with nothing but silence. Kairi replied with a hasty shake of her head to indicate everything was fine, also returning the silence.
"Baka," Sora cursed eventually at Riku, pushing himself upright with a look of clear distaste and only returning to his normal cheerful self when he held out a hand for Kairi to take. Kairi received it gracefully, also pulling herself to her feet. "Why'd you do that?"
"Do what? You're the one who got riled up, Sora."
Sora opened his mouth to shout back a retort, but was interrupted by Kairi. "Hey, now school's out for the day and all... want to go to the island?"
Afterall, the island was a very special place for the three of them. A sanctuary of sorts.
"I've got work to do," Riku said reluctantly. "I've... been putting it off."
"So now look who's the air..." Sora started, only to be cut short as Kairi placed a hand on his arm in an attempt to calm him down again. Which, surprisingly, worked. Looking at her, he looked thoughtful - before grimacing slightly. "I was going to train today... I haven't... done any in a while..." he paused as Kairi's face fell. "B-but that doesn't mean you can't come with me to train! 'Cos... it could be fun..." he trailed off.
Kairi smiled sincerely, before shaking her head and relieving the grip on Sora's arm. "It's okay... I've been putting off work to," she said hurriedly, moving over to Riku’s side. "So I'll... see you later, okay?"
Sora frowned, his face apologetic. "I'm sorry, Kairi..."
"I said it's alright, didn't I? Go and... go and train. Heroes need to keep in the know, I am right?" Kairi replied, nodding enthusiastically.
"Yeah!" Sora's face instantly brightened up, a stark contrast to his previous mood of hating school. "I'll see you two later!" he called, waving a few times at them both before proceeding to run down the path and eventually out of sight.
Riku retained his smile until Sora was gone - then, it disappeared to a stern gaze as he looked down at Kairi. "Why didn't you go with him?"
Kairi lowered her hand, her eyes glazing. "I already said. I've got work to do..."
"That's a lie. You've finished it all. You told me earlier. When you were lecturing me," Riku responded, his voice uneven. He left the silence for a while, before eventually adding, "... we all know you wanted to go with him."
"I... I feel like I'm in the way if I do go training with Sora. And it's... I don't know. There’s still some tension or something."
Riku sighed. "Well avoiding him is not going to get rid of it, is it? You've withstanded this long without us. You'll be absolutely fine with us. Just be yourself... you. Sora loves you for that."
Kairi jumped slightly at that, failing to give a response other than blushing slightly and hiding her face from Riku, who only sniggered slightly. "W-well... I'll go see him later, then. After doing my 'phantom' work," she grinned. "You wouldn't leave me alone otherwise, would you?"
"Nope. You said to Naminé and Roxas you and Sora would be 'together everyday'. You need to keep that deal."
Kairi slid into silence at the mentioning of her nobody, debating what to say, before looking back up at Riku. "What about you? You've got no one."
"Doesn't matter," Riku responded, as if it was a rehearsed answer.
***
Twilight was coming down now, and Sora's few spectators of Tidus and Wakka had left to do whatever else took their interest. Sora himself kept at his training, feeling relieved he didn't have to hide his keyblade anymore since no one was watching. It had been such a long time since he could have a full out brawl on something or other - Xemnas was the last thing he'd really fought, with Riku. Before that, he'd been with Donald and Goofy - and was definitely used to fighting in a threesome. But fighting solo was something interesting - something he decided he'd get used to. If anything ever came about again, he knew Kairi would refuse to be left behind, despite the resolves everyone had. He couldn't blame her, really. But then again, he didn't want to be reliant on everyone else and not be able to protect anyone with his own strength. Hence the forceful training.
Hacking away at the 'dummy' he had possession of, he came to a halt momentarily, wiping his brow, as once again his thoughts slid back to Kairi. He still felt guilty about it...
Ignoring the sensation, he shook it off, continuing to hack away at anything near by, dodging any of the traps that were set up here. It wasn't much of a distraction, only working for a short time before the dull humming pain came back into his mind. I should have gone with her...
He felt guilt about other things, too.
Guilt which was not his own.
Sora ceased fighting once again, lowering his keyblade down and dismissing it, pausing, and placing a hand over his heart. There was definitely some other... 'heartache' there. It wasn't his. Sure, there was the one for Kairi, the one for his friends, the one for everyone to be together... and another one. A dull nagging, but it was definitely there. And it wasn't something Sora would feel guilty about.
Axel.
He sighed, feeling a rush of sympathy come to him to someone he couldn't see, but knew was there. Even if Roxas were right beside him, he would have denied all of it. He was like that. And even though he wasn't, it didn't stop the overpowering thoughts of Roxas rubbing off on Sora. It happened to Kairi, too. Something similar to a bi-polar personality. Even at times, the trio could have sworn that fragments of Naminé or Roxas appeared for a few seconds. In physical form, replacing their true selves.
"...Roxas," Sora breathed under his breath, but felt as if part of him ignored what he had to say, the nagging secluding slightly, as if Roxas had turned his back on him. Roxas may have accepted being part of Sora. But it didn't mean he accepted him entirely.
Sora returned back to training after a short intervene, choosing a log to slash to pieces whilst thinking the various situations over.
"Roxas."
What? He knew that voice. It definitely wasn't his friends. And why Roxas?
"Roxas..."
Now he was definitely sure he was hearing things. Axel's voice? No. That was impossible. Axel was gone.
"...Sora."
Sora unconsciously flinched at that, his blade meeting thin air and remaining there. He shook his head. He had definitely been at this too long...
Turn around. Sora blinked; surprised at the sudden connection Roxas had given to his mind. It wasn't uncommon, but it wasn't common, either, and it was usually important if it granted Roxas the need to tell Sora to do something.
Reluctantly, Sora turned around, not really expecting to find anything there - but giving a cry of surprise when he did, jumping backwards a few paces in shock, his eyes widening.
Axel was stood there. He'd found his way back from his expedition - and now, was a fully physical being, affected by the weather, and the physical restrictions life brought. His hair moved slightly in the wind, though his gaze remained fixated on Sora. He seemed... distressed, and his eyes seemed empty as they looked on, his face grimacing as he finished the chase for a hopeless dream.
Sora seemed to miss the gravity of the fact Axel was standing in front of him, forgetting that Axel should be gone to start with. "What... what are you doing here?"
A pace forward. "I came..." and another. "...To see..." and another. "...Roxas..." and another. "But Roxas isn't..." he slowed, coming to a halt several paces away from Sora. "Here anymore."
Sora frowned, raising an eyebrow in slight confusion. "...What?"
"You know what," Axel responded, his calm exterior rapidly diminishing into blind rage, which suited him so well due to his adamant control over fire. Part of him had hoped it wasn't true, even though he knew it was. Part of him hoped Roxas would still be here. Part of him hoped the waiting was worth it. Now, it really seemed like it wasn't.
"The... reunion?" Sora questioned, once again briefly touching his chest before lowering an arm to his side.
This seemed to do little than add to Axel's already fragile temper. "Yes..." The very thing, even if it was obviously true, he didn't want confirming.
Sora's face grew sadder in more and more regret, searching for anything to say of comfort, but knowing most things would fail miserably. Even the thing he decided to go with. "I'm sorry."
As predicted, this just made Axel worse. "Sorry? That's all you have to say?" He growled shortly, staring at the floor beside him, before his eyes flicked back to Sora. "I... want him back."
Sora opened his mouth a few times, before eventually replying, "I... can't..."
With something that was akin to being definitely inhuman, Axel had covered the ground between him and Sora, and now had a chakram pressed across Sora's throat, with Sora backed up against the nearest wall. "You took him away from me! Give him back!"
Conscious of the chakram, Sora did little more than shake his head half-heartedly. "I don't..."
"I don't care. Does it look like I care?" Axel raged, daring to make Sora even more aware of the chakram. "I've been holding on there. Waiting. But guess what? I can't wait. I need him back..." he trailed off.
Leaving behind, a very stunned Sora.
Something like a heartthrob had come and gone in the few seconds Axel had said that. But it wasn't his heart, or his essence that felt it. It was... Roxas.
"Axel... I'm... I'm sorry, but I don't know what can be done about this... it's... one of those things..."
Once again, adding to his temper. "I'll force him back," he replied stubbornly, waving his free chakram around in the air.
Sora never got chance to reply, as Axel was abruptly pulled backward, stumbling a few paces before righting himself and growling with anger, to find a certain redhead attempting to help a rather winded Sora upright again.
"Sora..." Kairi asked worriedly, putting a hand on his shoulder, retaining her upright protective stance in front of him, her eyes making it clear to inquiring whether he was truly alright.
Dismissing her with a slight shake of the hand, Sora attempted to stand, but once again found himself out of breath, returning back to the ground. This, in itself decided Kairi's next course of action. Something drastic, admittedly - the thought only crossing her mind as she did it, throwing her arms wide like a barrier between Sora and Axel. "Don't you dare hurt him," she said sternly, sounding much more braver than she felt, her hair, in this light, seemingly flickering between blonde and red.
Axel was not in the mood for games, or graciousness, or anything along that line. He was blinded with his single ambition that had gone away, the only thing that had kept him sitting in those cold alleyways for the past few months. Stepping forward and doing little more than sniggering, he dismissed a chakram, leaning down to her level, before raising an arm, slapping his hand straight across the cheek, sending Kairi flying to the floor, brushing against the fine sand beneath her as she fell several paces away.
"Kairi...!" Sora started, but failed in moving towards her, Axel blocking his path with a chakram.
"Give him back," Axel said sternly. But he already knew Sora's reply. And that made the hatred rise even more, making it all the more unbearable. He didn't give Sora a chance to speak. Rage taking over, his chakram struck out - hitting Sora hard in the shoulder, sending him reeling backward in pain, Axel oblivious to the damage he had just caused.
"Sora..." Kairi looked over her shoulder from where she lay, her face a mixture of shock and fear, as Axel did nothing to remove the chakram for a few seconds before summoning it back to himself, causing Sora to cry out once more at the exceeded blood flow.
Pushing herself upright and ignoring the sting in her cheek, she ran over to Sora's side. He looked up at her from where he was, blinking a few times. "Naminé?"
"...Yes," she nodded. Somehow, in the time she'd run over - Naminé had taken on full form, her blonde hair now distinctly flowing in the wind, her eyes warm as Kairi's where, yet still partially full of loneliness that she'd had during her existence as a nobody. After Sora being hurt by her hand, anything relating to Sora being hurt again stirred her existence up - but this was the first time she'd taken over.
"Kairi's alright, isn't she? No scars...?" Sora asked, concern in his face despite his own pain, gesturing to Naminé's cheek, which held the same red patch as Kairi's had.
"Yes," Naminé repeated, crouching down alongside Sora. "You should be worried about you. You're bleeding..."
Sora shook his head. "I've had worse," he lied. He wasn't used to friends of his nobody stabbing him. That was definitely a first.
Naminé smiled slightly, unconvinced, but not going to push the fact, turning to face Axel, who had remained motionless since his sudden strike out at Sora. "Axel!"
"You..." Axel replied, the jealousy evident. She stole him. She's another one. She stole him too. It totally escaped him that if Naminé could be here, Roxas could as well. The jealousy overtook. "...What do you want?"
"You can't go round hurting people!" Naminé responded, slightly desperate, searching for something to bring Axel back to his senses.
"Never stopped me before. Killed... killed Vexen, didn't I?" he half laughed, proceeding to stare, disheartened, at his gloved hands - no blood there. But the imagination could fill that guilt in.
"You... you realize who you just hurt, don't you...?" Naminé started, glancing back down at Sora, who was still clutching his shoulder, but had had some sense to press his hand to it to stem the flow. "You hurt Sora. You just hurt Roxas. You just... hurt Roxas badly."
That worked.
"I hurt... Roxas?" Axel replied, his eyes growing back to normal, finally taking in the situation, his chakrams disappearing, the jealousy and hatred growing bleak. So... this was what the voice meant, huh? It was his fault... everything was his fault...
He'd hurt the one he cared about and now it was all over...
Naminé nodded slowly, keeping her voice steady. "Axel... is that what you wanted? To hurt him?"
Axel shook his head violently, slowly turning round to gaze on at the sunset. Sunset. The irony of that... twilight... he stood still for a few mere moments, before sinking down to the floor, still unable to take anything in. Guilt. The fact he was an idiot. More guilt. More and more guilt…
Naminé turned back to Sora, then, kneeling down beside him, yet, now, she was back to Kairi. "Sora? Are you mad?"
Sora shook his head. "No..." his voice lowered, to something only Kairi and Naminé would be able to hear. "I think... someone else misses someone too."
The point didn't need to be elaborated anymore than that for Kairi to smile weakly, biting her bottom lip. "Naminé... she came out, didn't she? I let her... maybe you will be able to..."
Once again, a shake. "I don't think it'll..."
Kairi stood upright, taking hold of Sora's free arm and heaving him to his feet, apologising profusely as Sora bit his lip to stop himself from crying out once again from the pain in his shoulder. "Just... a trigger. Just..." she pointed over to Axel, her eyes full of sympathy, finishing the sentence with a few swings of her arm in midair, failing to find something to explain what she meant. "...Walk over... and..."
Sora's eyes lay on Axel. Let Roxas take over? Walk over and let Roxas finally relieve himself of his guilt? At least try? Rather than let them both suffer...
He started walking. One foot went down, then another, all the mean while wishing, hoping, wanting Roxas to come out and take over. After several steps, Sora felt himself stop - his being stop, backing away slowly to stand next to Kairi, the pain in his shoulder gone even as the wound remained. His essence, his 'soul', perhaps, translucent, looking worried, the pair attempting to wrap their fingers together and hold hands in hope - of which, despite Sora's condition, seemed to work for the most part. Deciding that, if everything was okay... they'd leave them both in peace.
The other part of him kept on going, his course set, coming to a halt behind Axel, who made no sign of movement, believing it to be either Sora, Kairi, or Naminé appearing to give him some vague sympathy.
He didn't give himself time to think about his actions. He didn't care anymore. His shoulder stung like hell, but he didn't care. Flinging himself to the his knees on the floor behind Axel, the other half wrapped his arms around Axel's waist, clinging his hands together tightly, leaning his head into the cloak, whispering, "I'm sorry."
The last part gained response from Axel. That was... Roxas' voice. His head moved slightly as he looked down... Roxas' arms, the garments included. It was Roxas. Roxas... here... hugging him. "Why... are you apologising? I should be..."
Roxas shook his head violently into Axel’s back. "No. I'm sorry. I didn't realize... so I'm sorry. This..." he paused, looking briefly at his wound, "Is... my payment for not realizing. I made you suffer. I... It's guilt I've had, building up, for so, so long, and I just-"
He was cut off abruptly, as Axel released his handgrip, spinning around and embracing him tight, moving his mouth near to Roxas' ear and whispering quietly, "No more words."
Not expecting that, it took Roxas a few seconds to stop being tense, even then his thoughts going against it. This... we can't, Axels' not here anymore, I'm part of Sora, and... Hell. It didn't matter, not right now. Rules were made to be broken. When had there even been rules in the first place...? If not now, then when? This was something that wouldn't come back soon...
All sense leaving his mind, Roxas relaxed, returning Axel's embrace, closing his eyes and blocking out the world - the sand beneath, the trees, the sound of the sea in the distance...
Axel smiled briefly at that, before looking wearily at Roxas' wounded shoulder... still not quite daring to believe he'd done that. "Your shoulder..."
"I already said... it's alright... it's my punishment..."
"I shouldn't have done it... I was blinded by rage. By jealousy, by guilt," Axel recollected, squeezing Roxas a little tighter, lowering his voice, sounding all the more confused. "...things I shouldn't have, should I..."
Roxas shook his head. "No... you said before... that having a heart is different to that, right?"
Axel made a very slight noise resembling a laugh. "I got my emotions back, when I found my heart."
At that, Roxas looked surprised, pulling back from Axel's grasp, staring up into those deep emerald green eyes. "...what?" He found it? But when...?
Axel sighed, shaking his head, placing a hand gingerly on Roxas' unwounded shoulder and nodding. "You, silly."
Roxas could do little more than stutter a few times at that, not expecting that response at all. "A-ah..." his voice grew lower. "I thought you meant..."
"I know, I know... it's odd... but it's true. That's one thing I can't change. The way I feel so different when I was around you..." Axel placed a finger under Roxas' chin, tilting it up a little, so as to stare right into his face. "...something someone once said was called love..."
Momentary inability to breathe, again. He thought he knew what Axel was getting at. Or, he wondered... he could be just jumping to conclusions. His mind racing, he said with a voice void of any emotion due to being well practised, "Are you saying what I think you're saying?"
"Now, would that be..." Axel let his finger drop, tilting his own head slightly to the side, gazing down at Roxas once more, smiling vaguely in that familiar way of his. "...'I love you'?"
Even if he hadn't actually admitted to the fact, Roxas still found his cheeks going momentary red, before shaking it off. "That one. Yes."
"If it's taken you that long to figure it out..." Axel smiled fully this time, patting Roxas on the head. "You're more naïve than you're worth."
"Th-That's not what I meant!" Roxas replied defensively, swatting Axel's hand away from his hair in slight annoyance. I just wanted to hear you say it... I wanted to know...
Shaking his head, Axel laughed, before returning to being a lot more serious than he had been moments before, leaning forward slightly once again, his voice calm and sincere, his eyes firm. This was the last chance he'd get to say it. And now the chance was here, he wasn't going to let it slip by. He'd let it go so many times before. Sitting by yourself alone stirred up feelings - feelings he'd thought he'd left forgotten, thoughts he never thought he'd retrace. His thoughts were now all staring straight at the same goal, the same objective, and for once, he was going to heed their combined efforts.
"I love you..."
That was it. The words Roxas so desperately wanted to hear. Sighing as he smiled slightly in... something similar to relief, perhaps... he closed his eyes, his expression thoughtful... as a single, solitary tear crept cautiously from his eyelid, steadily beginning to tumble down his face, his mind oblivious to it.
It didn't last for long though, as the sensation faded as Axel raised a hand once again, brushing off the tear with his finger, gazing as if at it, but seeing something beyond it, his eyes glazing. "I made you cry..."
The fact had been mostly unbeknownst to Roxas, causing him to shake his head in retaliation, blinking away anymore that might dare to come into existence. "It's... I... just don't know what to say, Axel... except that, well... I suppose..."
Axel still stared at that tear, waiting for it to drop from the end of his finger. "Yes?"
"That I..." his face fell, in a slightly pathetic attempt to hide his expression. "... love you?"
The tear finally broke free, falling swiftly to the ground beneath. Not just that tear. Several things fell into place. Axel tore his gaze back to Roxas. He wouldn't humour him about something like this. And... well. Roxas was always too sincere for something like that. "I'm glad...
What they'd both wanted. A happy ending. Except...
"But... Axel..." Roxas sighed deeply, before forcing himself to look up at Axel. "It can't be. You know... I know... we know… it can't."
Axel grimaced, clenching his fist together in a sudden surge of sorrow as the hint of contentment completed faded. "Even if it is true... don't say it... I don't want to go back there..." he placed both hands on Roxas' shoulders, in an attempt to keep his thoughts clear.
"Axel... you can't stay here... and I can't... stay like this... Sora knew I was... hurting, so he let me take over, but... I can't be this way forever..." he gently prised Axel's hands from his shoulders, his face brimming with regret at he did so. "...sorry..." that sentence was so lamely pathetic he couldn’t even believe he’d said it... but there was nothing else to be said...
Axel lowered his head, as if rejected, eventually standing upright. "I'll... be waiting for you..." he bit his lip, hurrying on his words. "S-sayonara..." and with that, he began to walk away, not daring to once look back at Roxas, not daring to... because if he did, he'd be back over there in an instant... unable to leave for the brink of despair again…
Someone else was little better. Roxas had his hands still where he'd pushed away Axel's... the space empty. The warmth was gone. The guilt was back again. The loneliness was intensifying, the spiral to oblivion taking over, away, away from everything he ever cared about, and loved, and only wanted to be with... but couldn't... fate... was a cruel thing.
This was goodbye. Their second goodbye. The... truthful goodbye.
So, he was just going to let Axel walk away?
... was he?
He had to, didn’t he?
... was he going to let him go?
Feeling the emptiness pile over him, Roxas did the only thing he could do, standing upright, stumbling over his own feet, attempting to run but only managing something close to a struggled walk, letting whatever his thoughts be take over, that being to cry if he wanted to, follow Axel if he wanted to, scream if he wanted to...
"AXEL!"
Axel paused, hesitating before letting his foot land in the sand, not knowing what to do. He said he wouldn't turn back... yet his beloved was calling, and that just made it worse. The wind came, swiftly lifting at his hair and his cloak, blowing harshly, making the reality even colder than it was...
"Axel... don't... don't go!"
He was crying again. Axel could tell. It was like... another sense he had. Should he... leave him? No... that would be... more guilt... That would come back to him, time after time after time...
"Axel..." Roxas stopped, falling to the ground, panting as if having run a marathon, as if he'd given up, like he was chasing something slipping in and out of focus...
Until he was back on his feet.
Axel had come back.
Axel spoke softly, debating carefully on his words before saying them. "You said... I had to go. And I'll be waiting for you... till the ends of the earth. I'll find you again. We'll find each other again. I'll be waiting, watching that line of dead, waiting for you... then I'll go with you..."
Roxas shook his head. "I don't want to be alone again."
Axel slowly released the grip on Roxas' hands, leaving him to fend for himself once again, sighing. "It's... impossible for me to stay."
Heartbreak. Broken. It was over... over... Roxas' face grew dark as his gaze ceased to be, shutting out the world and Axel's face in front of his, trying his best to let it all go away.
"Sayonara," Axel repeated, with a slight slither more of confidence than before. But he didn't walk away this time. Lifting Roxas' chin once again, he stared down at the empty face that had come… and threw away all sense of reasoning.
And kissed him.
It was brief. It was sudden. But it worked to its effect, bringing Roxas' sight back to Axel, unable to move from where he was standing, as Axel pulled himself away, still at Roxas' height. It was something so simple, yet it gave more than a thousand words and feelings... before Axel could even consider walking away or savour it, Roxas returned it - something so close to any emotion that neither was supposed to have.
And then, it was over, as all moments were.
"Sayonara, Axel..." Roxas whispered into Axel's ear, his voice sorrowful.
"No... not forever. Someday... we'll be together again. I promise."
And with that, Axel turned away, leaving Roxas behind to raise a hand in objection: but doing little more than sighing with something similar to peace of mind, watching as Axel walked further and further into the distance, refusing to break. Not until Axel couldn't see him.
He paused momentarily, turning round, and saluting with a very weak smile, mumbling under his breath, "Take care of him, okay?" And with that, broke off into a run, finally disappearing forever.
Roxas fell to his knees, the sand feeling as though it'd swallow him whole… there was nothing more for him now... but he'd have to be strong... live the life Axel never got a chance to lead. The dull, humming pain was back in his shoulder, increasing the heartache, making it hurt more... what was worse, was that was all he had left of Axel... that wound... he was crying again, and he didn't care who heard him. He was allowed to cry. He had the right, at least, to cry.
"Roxas," two hands touched his right shoulder, and then another touched his arm. Axel's words finally made sense - he was talking about Sora, Kairi, and Naminé.
"You did good, Roxas," Sora nodded brightly, though he knew it wouldn’t brighten Roxas' mood at all. He just... wasn't good when it came to dealing with his nobody.
The girls, however, seemed to have the best tactic. "You told him, didn't you...?" Kairi asked, kneeling down alongside him, gently embracing him slightly, as Naminé did the same. "We'll remember him too... we won't forget... and Axel won't be forgotten," Naminé added, smiling.
Roxas couldn't explain how, but... at the simplistic words of Sora, and the encouraging and sympathetic words of Kairi and Naminé, he truly felt... he could keep going, till the time when death took him and Sora away. Till the time when life ran its course, and the days would grow tiring and dull, and death would swipe across its hand. The day when Roxas could be his own entity, walking along those passages to the afterlife, but there, he wouldn't be alone. Someone would care, be there, waiting. Waiting for him, even though time has run along its merry way to create years. Afterall, love prevails even for the most unlikely pair of lovers.
It was decided. It was simple. A simple thing to do. Fighting that battle, the battle for them to be together. He would keep going. Waiting. Waiting for that day, no matter how long it would take.
Until the day he could see Axel again.
AFTERWORD
I broke two Kingdom Hearts rules here. For one thing, they don't bleed. You ever notice that? No? XD Well they don't. Eh, and the fact I've totally gone off on my idea of supernatural stuff, like with the soul corridor and the nobody thing... but the nobody thing was all for good...! Honestly! XD Without it there would be no fanfic, haha. Still, my other thing... first time I've written in a kiss, heh. XD First literal time writing in a proper YAOI kiss, mind. Okay okay, I admit, roleplayed it lodes of times, but never in fanfiction where it's solo work and as said. Never strictly a boy/boy rel.
The reason Axel came back? Restless spirit. He was never really content with himself, and the guilt just kind of came about... not surprising when you have that much time to think. Now, he can go back and wait, feeling... satisfied, I suppose. I send cookies to Sora lovers and Kairi lovers cos I had Axel hurt them.
And Roxas. He doesn't feel guilty anymore, either.
Eh, and don’t worry. Sora won't be scarred (much) by that chakram incident. Maybe slightly. Or maybe, he won't be, and Roxas will... open for interpretation. And it wasn't intentianal for Axel to slap Kairi. It just... kinda... appeared there. XD
So... I'm quite content right now. I got in my two KH OTPs~! That being, Sora/Kairi and Axel/Roxas, so I'm pretty pleased about getting them both in. Though I guess if you wanted to be dead picky, there are several others in there too. A few of which I do in some shape or form support (which would be Sora/Naminé and perhaps Roxas/Kairi) but those are the ones I'm writing it for. Sora/Kairi less so, but it slipped in.
Songs... boy. Songs really helped me write this. Giving me emo songs and then fanfiction doesn't warrant happy things, I'm afraid. It provokes angst. Songs that gave me love today were... 'Hundred' by The Fray (awesome, highly recommend it), 'Iris' by The Goo Goo Dolls, and 'Sound the Bugle' by Bryan Adams... and finally 'Right Here Waiting' by Richard Marx. Eh, you didn’t need to know that. But nevermind.
Anyways... I hope you liked it, and got to wallow in my slightly fangirly emo mind for a short time. XD Yeah. AkuRoku was mostly canon. Well. Leniant, as canon as I could get it to be. It's definitely not ooc though, so it's all good. Yup.
Oh, and finally... this is for the one and only Candace (candeefloss). She told me to write an AkuRoku fic including Sora in some sense, so it's completely dedicated to her. She's going to kill me at how much time I spent going 'WAIT!!' *checks over, title, etc*, but it's all for a good cause... I'm hoping to have got a tear out of you, and anyone else reading. May the AkuRoku roleplaying we have continue for a long time. XD
Author: winged_requiem
Series: Post-Kingdom Hearts II, about four months after the events come to a close I have officially decided Sora beat Xemnas in spring, okay. Cos it's. Summer.
Pairing: The love that is Axel/Roxas, for the main one. Also has a lot of Sora/Kairi in for good measure.
Characters: Sora, Kairi, Naminé, Riku, Axel, Roxas.
Rating: Teen (13+)
Type: One Shot.
Summary: Axel's lonely, and gets the chance to go back to the 'real' world to see Roxas, in a vain home Roxas is still around. Sora is living his days as a normal school-kid with his best friends. Enter Axel, who gets easily riled and does a few things that he might not care to remember later. Drama, angst, emo, and fluff follows.
Notes: Emo. Very. Emo. Read if you dare. It's very very long, this one, it was a good fourteen pages in word, I believe. A lot of the ghosts, spirits, and nobody switching is purely speculation of idealistic things I would like to see happen in Kingdom Hearts, or I just believe in as a whole. Don't take it literally. Oh. Title translation - 'Farewell, My Love'. There's usage of 'baka' (idiot) in here as well.
Here on the border between life and death, the surrounding area was dismal - not that the border had any weather, but that was beside the point. The area was bleak, but that was of no surprise. It merely served as a corridor to connect the two worlds together, little more than two sidesteps across. It gave off the aura of abandoned sewers yet without the added stench. Souls came and went, most leaving life behind and wandering into whatever the 'afterlife' was. Hopefully, something much better than the border itself - yet some souls still clung forcefully to it. 'Unfinished business', as it was called.
There was an unusual sight that caused quite a stir between the souls that cared to watch as they walked in lines down the passages, and those that hung around for the moment where they could plague the living beyond. For starters, this man shouldn't even be here. He didn't have a soul; yet, he never had a heart. He'd never been anything, so to even be here must be something entirely abnormal. Whisperings and rumours grew among the whistling wind that picked up around the corners, as he sat against the side of one of the walls, an obvious obstruction. Unbeknownst to him, the rumours seemed to be quite accurate.
Axel ignored them all. He didn't really care what they had to say - or not to say - about him. Granted, it was even odd he was capable of being able to physically sit here: all the other souls failed on that account. Yet, it was even more odd that he was here in the first place. He didn't care. He had a promise to keep, or he felt it was, and he wasn't about to break it. He was waiting. Waiting for his partner. Roxas.
He shuffled slightly - despite his resolves, it didn't stop this entire task being as boring as hell. From what he'd gathered from the slight conversations he'd picked up from the spirits that visited the living, it had been little more than four months since everything had wound down to silence for Sora and his friends. And considering the fact he was already bored out of his mind, with nothing to do except cling to the fading memories of Roxas, it wasn't exactly a happy prospect of spending the next however many years it would be before Roxas passed this way.
"I've got to get out of here," Axel voiced aloud, managing to push himself upright on the wall, but finding his feet unable to move backward towards life, and only forward towards death. Grumbling, he flung himself back to the floor again - this would also keep him busy for a very, very long time.
Someone heard him. "You want to get out?"
Axel looked up. "... Yes," he replied, glancing around at all the spirits strolling mindlessly past - none of which paid him the slightest piece of attention. Who was it, then? It's not one of those...
"I'll help you get out. You're bored, aren't you? You can't go on because you promised to wait. You can't go back because you gave up on life. But I'll help you go back."
Axel frowned. He wouldn't immediately trust a voice he couldn't see, but the idea was an interesting one, none the less. One he might even consider taking. "What's in it for you?"
The voice laughed. "Nothing. Apart from the fact to see if a physical entity can return to the living as those spirits can." As if on cue, several went whistling past, gliding high above the others in a cackling sound of glee as they went back down to the worlds they had departed.
Well, that was an offer with no strings, indeed. But that had to be a catch. There was always a catch. "What's the catch?" he folded his arms, raising an eyebrow at something he couldn't see.
A satisfied, snarky laugh was his response. "No catch. Except whatever happens when you go there is your fault. Not mine."
He opened his mouth to object, but found himself agreeing. This was typical of Axel. "I do want to see him again. Make sure he's alright." Heck, Axel. You know it's for more than that. Don't kid yourself.
"Then go," was the reply, and Axel was once again left standing in the middle of the pathways linking life and death. Yet now? He could walk towards life. Breaking into a run, he dashed hastily round a one corner then another, and another, all the meanwhile gaining sight of the world of the living.
***
It was early summer. Sora had been back on the islands for a while now, finally settled back into the routine of a normal, everyday kid. Or, so everyone hoped. There was just one little thing he was having a hard time adjusting too.
Kairi and Riku were waiting for him at the gates. "Sora!" Kairi called, waving him over with something of enthusiasm.
Sora, on the contrary, was far from enthusiastic. "Kairi?" he whined, rubbing his forehead to feign tiredness. "Why do I have to go to school?"
Riku sighed. "C'mon, Sora. We've explained this a million and one times. We're staying on the islands till Mi- I mean the King - wants us. And until then, we're living normal lives again."
"There's one advantage to being a hero and risking your life everyday," Sora replied glumly, walking straight past Riku, still slouching like a zombie. "No school."
"It could have been worse," Kairi pointed out, grabbing hold of Sora's arm before he waltzed straight into the gatepost. "From all the time you've missed, you could have been put down a year. Same for you, Riku."
"I dunno how Sora evaded it," Riku sighed, as Sora stared blankly ahead of him, his legs still 'walking' in momentum, still failing to realise Kairi had stopped him from moving. "I can catch up easily. Sora, however, is such an airhead."
Sora seemed to respond to that, spinning round on the spot with a mixed fury of 'Say that again!' and almost falling over and getting completely tangled up from Kairi still having hold of his arm. The prior, which, he somehow still managed, ending up on the floor with Kairi alongside him, who had finally had the sense to let go of Sora's arm.
"Ah... sorry, Sora..." Kairi apologised, all the meanwhile hiding her face away from the satisfied grin Riku was giving the pair of them.
"It's alright..." Sora replied hastily, but seemed to get lost as he continued the sentence, slowing down till he was gradually left with nothing but silence. Kairi replied with a hasty shake of her head to indicate everything was fine, also returning the silence.
"Baka," Sora cursed eventually at Riku, pushing himself upright with a look of clear distaste and only returning to his normal cheerful self when he held out a hand for Kairi to take. Kairi received it gracefully, also pulling herself to her feet. "Why'd you do that?"
"Do what? You're the one who got riled up, Sora."
Sora opened his mouth to shout back a retort, but was interrupted by Kairi. "Hey, now school's out for the day and all... want to go to the island?"
Afterall, the island was a very special place for the three of them. A sanctuary of sorts.
"I've got work to do," Riku said reluctantly. "I've... been putting it off."
"So now look who's the air..." Sora started, only to be cut short as Kairi placed a hand on his arm in an attempt to calm him down again. Which, surprisingly, worked. Looking at her, he looked thoughtful - before grimacing slightly. "I was going to train today... I haven't... done any in a while..." he paused as Kairi's face fell. "B-but that doesn't mean you can't come with me to train! 'Cos... it could be fun..." he trailed off.
Kairi smiled sincerely, before shaking her head and relieving the grip on Sora's arm. "It's okay... I've been putting off work to," she said hurriedly, moving over to Riku’s side. "So I'll... see you later, okay?"
Sora frowned, his face apologetic. "I'm sorry, Kairi..."
"I said it's alright, didn't I? Go and... go and train. Heroes need to keep in the know, I am right?" Kairi replied, nodding enthusiastically.
"Yeah!" Sora's face instantly brightened up, a stark contrast to his previous mood of hating school. "I'll see you two later!" he called, waving a few times at them both before proceeding to run down the path and eventually out of sight.
Riku retained his smile until Sora was gone - then, it disappeared to a stern gaze as he looked down at Kairi. "Why didn't you go with him?"
Kairi lowered her hand, her eyes glazing. "I already said. I've got work to do..."
"That's a lie. You've finished it all. You told me earlier. When you were lecturing me," Riku responded, his voice uneven. He left the silence for a while, before eventually adding, "... we all know you wanted to go with him."
"I... I feel like I'm in the way if I do go training with Sora. And it's... I don't know. There’s still some tension or something."
Riku sighed. "Well avoiding him is not going to get rid of it, is it? You've withstanded this long without us. You'll be absolutely fine with us. Just be yourself... you. Sora loves you for that."
Kairi jumped slightly at that, failing to give a response other than blushing slightly and hiding her face from Riku, who only sniggered slightly. "W-well... I'll go see him later, then. After doing my 'phantom' work," she grinned. "You wouldn't leave me alone otherwise, would you?"
"Nope. You said to Naminé and Roxas you and Sora would be 'together everyday'. You need to keep that deal."
Kairi slid into silence at the mentioning of her nobody, debating what to say, before looking back up at Riku. "What about you? You've got no one."
"Doesn't matter," Riku responded, as if it was a rehearsed answer.
***
Twilight was coming down now, and Sora's few spectators of Tidus and Wakka had left to do whatever else took their interest. Sora himself kept at his training, feeling relieved he didn't have to hide his keyblade anymore since no one was watching. It had been such a long time since he could have a full out brawl on something or other - Xemnas was the last thing he'd really fought, with Riku. Before that, he'd been with Donald and Goofy - and was definitely used to fighting in a threesome. But fighting solo was something interesting - something he decided he'd get used to. If anything ever came about again, he knew Kairi would refuse to be left behind, despite the resolves everyone had. He couldn't blame her, really. But then again, he didn't want to be reliant on everyone else and not be able to protect anyone with his own strength. Hence the forceful training.
Hacking away at the 'dummy' he had possession of, he came to a halt momentarily, wiping his brow, as once again his thoughts slid back to Kairi. He still felt guilty about it...
Ignoring the sensation, he shook it off, continuing to hack away at anything near by, dodging any of the traps that were set up here. It wasn't much of a distraction, only working for a short time before the dull humming pain came back into his mind. I should have gone with her...
He felt guilt about other things, too.
Guilt which was not his own.
Sora ceased fighting once again, lowering his keyblade down and dismissing it, pausing, and placing a hand over his heart. There was definitely some other... 'heartache' there. It wasn't his. Sure, there was the one for Kairi, the one for his friends, the one for everyone to be together... and another one. A dull nagging, but it was definitely there. And it wasn't something Sora would feel guilty about.
Axel.
He sighed, feeling a rush of sympathy come to him to someone he couldn't see, but knew was there. Even if Roxas were right beside him, he would have denied all of it. He was like that. And even though he wasn't, it didn't stop the overpowering thoughts of Roxas rubbing off on Sora. It happened to Kairi, too. Something similar to a bi-polar personality. Even at times, the trio could have sworn that fragments of Naminé or Roxas appeared for a few seconds. In physical form, replacing their true selves.
"...Roxas," Sora breathed under his breath, but felt as if part of him ignored what he had to say, the nagging secluding slightly, as if Roxas had turned his back on him. Roxas may have accepted being part of Sora. But it didn't mean he accepted him entirely.
Sora returned back to training after a short intervene, choosing a log to slash to pieces whilst thinking the various situations over.
"Roxas."
What? He knew that voice. It definitely wasn't his friends. And why Roxas?
"Roxas..."
Now he was definitely sure he was hearing things. Axel's voice? No. That was impossible. Axel was gone.
"...Sora."
Sora unconsciously flinched at that, his blade meeting thin air and remaining there. He shook his head. He had definitely been at this too long...
Turn around. Sora blinked; surprised at the sudden connection Roxas had given to his mind. It wasn't uncommon, but it wasn't common, either, and it was usually important if it granted Roxas the need to tell Sora to do something.
Reluctantly, Sora turned around, not really expecting to find anything there - but giving a cry of surprise when he did, jumping backwards a few paces in shock, his eyes widening.
Axel was stood there. He'd found his way back from his expedition - and now, was a fully physical being, affected by the weather, and the physical restrictions life brought. His hair moved slightly in the wind, though his gaze remained fixated on Sora. He seemed... distressed, and his eyes seemed empty as they looked on, his face grimacing as he finished the chase for a hopeless dream.
Sora seemed to miss the gravity of the fact Axel was standing in front of him, forgetting that Axel should be gone to start with. "What... what are you doing here?"
A pace forward. "I came..." and another. "...To see..." and another. "...Roxas..." and another. "But Roxas isn't..." he slowed, coming to a halt several paces away from Sora. "Here anymore."
Sora frowned, raising an eyebrow in slight confusion. "...What?"
"You know what," Axel responded, his calm exterior rapidly diminishing into blind rage, which suited him so well due to his adamant control over fire. Part of him had hoped it wasn't true, even though he knew it was. Part of him hoped Roxas would still be here. Part of him hoped the waiting was worth it. Now, it really seemed like it wasn't.
"The... reunion?" Sora questioned, once again briefly touching his chest before lowering an arm to his side.
This seemed to do little than add to Axel's already fragile temper. "Yes..." The very thing, even if it was obviously true, he didn't want confirming.
Sora's face grew sadder in more and more regret, searching for anything to say of comfort, but knowing most things would fail miserably. Even the thing he decided to go with. "I'm sorry."
As predicted, this just made Axel worse. "Sorry? That's all you have to say?" He growled shortly, staring at the floor beside him, before his eyes flicked back to Sora. "I... want him back."
Sora opened his mouth a few times, before eventually replying, "I... can't..."
With something that was akin to being definitely inhuman, Axel had covered the ground between him and Sora, and now had a chakram pressed across Sora's throat, with Sora backed up against the nearest wall. "You took him away from me! Give him back!"
Conscious of the chakram, Sora did little more than shake his head half-heartedly. "I don't..."
"I don't care. Does it look like I care?" Axel raged, daring to make Sora even more aware of the chakram. "I've been holding on there. Waiting. But guess what? I can't wait. I need him back..." he trailed off.
Leaving behind, a very stunned Sora.
Something like a heartthrob had come and gone in the few seconds Axel had said that. But it wasn't his heart, or his essence that felt it. It was... Roxas.
"Axel... I'm... I'm sorry, but I don't know what can be done about this... it's... one of those things..."
Once again, adding to his temper. "I'll force him back," he replied stubbornly, waving his free chakram around in the air.
Sora never got chance to reply, as Axel was abruptly pulled backward, stumbling a few paces before righting himself and growling with anger, to find a certain redhead attempting to help a rather winded Sora upright again.
"Sora..." Kairi asked worriedly, putting a hand on his shoulder, retaining her upright protective stance in front of him, her eyes making it clear to inquiring whether he was truly alright.
Dismissing her with a slight shake of the hand, Sora attempted to stand, but once again found himself out of breath, returning back to the ground. This, in itself decided Kairi's next course of action. Something drastic, admittedly - the thought only crossing her mind as she did it, throwing her arms wide like a barrier between Sora and Axel. "Don't you dare hurt him," she said sternly, sounding much more braver than she felt, her hair, in this light, seemingly flickering between blonde and red.
Axel was not in the mood for games, or graciousness, or anything along that line. He was blinded with his single ambition that had gone away, the only thing that had kept him sitting in those cold alleyways for the past few months. Stepping forward and doing little more than sniggering, he dismissed a chakram, leaning down to her level, before raising an arm, slapping his hand straight across the cheek, sending Kairi flying to the floor, brushing against the fine sand beneath her as she fell several paces away.
"Kairi...!" Sora started, but failed in moving towards her, Axel blocking his path with a chakram.
"Give him back," Axel said sternly. But he already knew Sora's reply. And that made the hatred rise even more, making it all the more unbearable. He didn't give Sora a chance to speak. Rage taking over, his chakram struck out - hitting Sora hard in the shoulder, sending him reeling backward in pain, Axel oblivious to the damage he had just caused.
"Sora..." Kairi looked over her shoulder from where she lay, her face a mixture of shock and fear, as Axel did nothing to remove the chakram for a few seconds before summoning it back to himself, causing Sora to cry out once more at the exceeded blood flow.
Pushing herself upright and ignoring the sting in her cheek, she ran over to Sora's side. He looked up at her from where he was, blinking a few times. "Naminé?"
"...Yes," she nodded. Somehow, in the time she'd run over - Naminé had taken on full form, her blonde hair now distinctly flowing in the wind, her eyes warm as Kairi's where, yet still partially full of loneliness that she'd had during her existence as a nobody. After Sora being hurt by her hand, anything relating to Sora being hurt again stirred her existence up - but this was the first time she'd taken over.
"Kairi's alright, isn't she? No scars...?" Sora asked, concern in his face despite his own pain, gesturing to Naminé's cheek, which held the same red patch as Kairi's had.
"Yes," Naminé repeated, crouching down alongside Sora. "You should be worried about you. You're bleeding..."
Sora shook his head. "I've had worse," he lied. He wasn't used to friends of his nobody stabbing him. That was definitely a first.
Naminé smiled slightly, unconvinced, but not going to push the fact, turning to face Axel, who had remained motionless since his sudden strike out at Sora. "Axel!"
"You..." Axel replied, the jealousy evident. She stole him. She's another one. She stole him too. It totally escaped him that if Naminé could be here, Roxas could as well. The jealousy overtook. "...What do you want?"
"You can't go round hurting people!" Naminé responded, slightly desperate, searching for something to bring Axel back to his senses.
"Never stopped me before. Killed... killed Vexen, didn't I?" he half laughed, proceeding to stare, disheartened, at his gloved hands - no blood there. But the imagination could fill that guilt in.
"You... you realize who you just hurt, don't you...?" Naminé started, glancing back down at Sora, who was still clutching his shoulder, but had had some sense to press his hand to it to stem the flow. "You hurt Sora. You just hurt Roxas. You just... hurt Roxas badly."
That worked.
"I hurt... Roxas?" Axel replied, his eyes growing back to normal, finally taking in the situation, his chakrams disappearing, the jealousy and hatred growing bleak. So... this was what the voice meant, huh? It was his fault... everything was his fault...
He'd hurt the one he cared about and now it was all over...
Naminé nodded slowly, keeping her voice steady. "Axel... is that what you wanted? To hurt him?"
Axel shook his head violently, slowly turning round to gaze on at the sunset. Sunset. The irony of that... twilight... he stood still for a few mere moments, before sinking down to the floor, still unable to take anything in. Guilt. The fact he was an idiot. More guilt. More and more guilt…
Naminé turned back to Sora, then, kneeling down beside him, yet, now, she was back to Kairi. "Sora? Are you mad?"
Sora shook his head. "No..." his voice lowered, to something only Kairi and Naminé would be able to hear. "I think... someone else misses someone too."
The point didn't need to be elaborated anymore than that for Kairi to smile weakly, biting her bottom lip. "Naminé... she came out, didn't she? I let her... maybe you will be able to..."
Once again, a shake. "I don't think it'll..."
Kairi stood upright, taking hold of Sora's free arm and heaving him to his feet, apologising profusely as Sora bit his lip to stop himself from crying out once again from the pain in his shoulder. "Just... a trigger. Just..." she pointed over to Axel, her eyes full of sympathy, finishing the sentence with a few swings of her arm in midair, failing to find something to explain what she meant. "...Walk over... and..."
Sora's eyes lay on Axel. Let Roxas take over? Walk over and let Roxas finally relieve himself of his guilt? At least try? Rather than let them both suffer...
He started walking. One foot went down, then another, all the mean while wishing, hoping, wanting Roxas to come out and take over. After several steps, Sora felt himself stop - his being stop, backing away slowly to stand next to Kairi, the pain in his shoulder gone even as the wound remained. His essence, his 'soul', perhaps, translucent, looking worried, the pair attempting to wrap their fingers together and hold hands in hope - of which, despite Sora's condition, seemed to work for the most part. Deciding that, if everything was okay... they'd leave them both in peace.
The other part of him kept on going, his course set, coming to a halt behind Axel, who made no sign of movement, believing it to be either Sora, Kairi, or Naminé appearing to give him some vague sympathy.
He didn't give himself time to think about his actions. He didn't care anymore. His shoulder stung like hell, but he didn't care. Flinging himself to the his knees on the floor behind Axel, the other half wrapped his arms around Axel's waist, clinging his hands together tightly, leaning his head into the cloak, whispering, "I'm sorry."
The last part gained response from Axel. That was... Roxas' voice. His head moved slightly as he looked down... Roxas' arms, the garments included. It was Roxas. Roxas... here... hugging him. "Why... are you apologising? I should be..."
Roxas shook his head violently into Axel’s back. "No. I'm sorry. I didn't realize... so I'm sorry. This..." he paused, looking briefly at his wound, "Is... my payment for not realizing. I made you suffer. I... It's guilt I've had, building up, for so, so long, and I just-"
He was cut off abruptly, as Axel released his handgrip, spinning around and embracing him tight, moving his mouth near to Roxas' ear and whispering quietly, "No more words."
Not expecting that, it took Roxas a few seconds to stop being tense, even then his thoughts going against it. This... we can't, Axels' not here anymore, I'm part of Sora, and... Hell. It didn't matter, not right now. Rules were made to be broken. When had there even been rules in the first place...? If not now, then when? This was something that wouldn't come back soon...
All sense leaving his mind, Roxas relaxed, returning Axel's embrace, closing his eyes and blocking out the world - the sand beneath, the trees, the sound of the sea in the distance...
Axel smiled briefly at that, before looking wearily at Roxas' wounded shoulder... still not quite daring to believe he'd done that. "Your shoulder..."
"I already said... it's alright... it's my punishment..."
"I shouldn't have done it... I was blinded by rage. By jealousy, by guilt," Axel recollected, squeezing Roxas a little tighter, lowering his voice, sounding all the more confused. "...things I shouldn't have, should I..."
Roxas shook his head. "No... you said before... that having a heart is different to that, right?"
Axel made a very slight noise resembling a laugh. "I got my emotions back, when I found my heart."
At that, Roxas looked surprised, pulling back from Axel's grasp, staring up into those deep emerald green eyes. "...what?" He found it? But when...?
Axel sighed, shaking his head, placing a hand gingerly on Roxas' unwounded shoulder and nodding. "You, silly."
Roxas could do little more than stutter a few times at that, not expecting that response at all. "A-ah..." his voice grew lower. "I thought you meant..."
"I know, I know... it's odd... but it's true. That's one thing I can't change. The way I feel so different when I was around you..." Axel placed a finger under Roxas' chin, tilting it up a little, so as to stare right into his face. "...something someone once said was called love..."
Momentary inability to breathe, again. He thought he knew what Axel was getting at. Or, he wondered... he could be just jumping to conclusions. His mind racing, he said with a voice void of any emotion due to being well practised, "Are you saying what I think you're saying?"
"Now, would that be..." Axel let his finger drop, tilting his own head slightly to the side, gazing down at Roxas once more, smiling vaguely in that familiar way of his. "...'I love you'?"
Even if he hadn't actually admitted to the fact, Roxas still found his cheeks going momentary red, before shaking it off. "That one. Yes."
"If it's taken you that long to figure it out..." Axel smiled fully this time, patting Roxas on the head. "You're more naïve than you're worth."
"Th-That's not what I meant!" Roxas replied defensively, swatting Axel's hand away from his hair in slight annoyance. I just wanted to hear you say it... I wanted to know...
Shaking his head, Axel laughed, before returning to being a lot more serious than he had been moments before, leaning forward slightly once again, his voice calm and sincere, his eyes firm. This was the last chance he'd get to say it. And now the chance was here, he wasn't going to let it slip by. He'd let it go so many times before. Sitting by yourself alone stirred up feelings - feelings he'd thought he'd left forgotten, thoughts he never thought he'd retrace. His thoughts were now all staring straight at the same goal, the same objective, and for once, he was going to heed their combined efforts.
"I love you..."
That was it. The words Roxas so desperately wanted to hear. Sighing as he smiled slightly in... something similar to relief, perhaps... he closed his eyes, his expression thoughtful... as a single, solitary tear crept cautiously from his eyelid, steadily beginning to tumble down his face, his mind oblivious to it.
It didn't last for long though, as the sensation faded as Axel raised a hand once again, brushing off the tear with his finger, gazing as if at it, but seeing something beyond it, his eyes glazing. "I made you cry..."
The fact had been mostly unbeknownst to Roxas, causing him to shake his head in retaliation, blinking away anymore that might dare to come into existence. "It's... I... just don't know what to say, Axel... except that, well... I suppose..."
Axel still stared at that tear, waiting for it to drop from the end of his finger. "Yes?"
"That I..." his face fell, in a slightly pathetic attempt to hide his expression. "... love you?"
The tear finally broke free, falling swiftly to the ground beneath. Not just that tear. Several things fell into place. Axel tore his gaze back to Roxas. He wouldn't humour him about something like this. And... well. Roxas was always too sincere for something like that. "I'm glad...
What they'd both wanted. A happy ending. Except...
"But... Axel..." Roxas sighed deeply, before forcing himself to look up at Axel. "It can't be. You know... I know... we know… it can't."
Axel grimaced, clenching his fist together in a sudden surge of sorrow as the hint of contentment completed faded. "Even if it is true... don't say it... I don't want to go back there..." he placed both hands on Roxas' shoulders, in an attempt to keep his thoughts clear.
"Axel... you can't stay here... and I can't... stay like this... Sora knew I was... hurting, so he let me take over, but... I can't be this way forever..." he gently prised Axel's hands from his shoulders, his face brimming with regret at he did so. "...sorry..." that sentence was so lamely pathetic he couldn’t even believe he’d said it... but there was nothing else to be said...
Axel lowered his head, as if rejected, eventually standing upright. "I'll... be waiting for you..." he bit his lip, hurrying on his words. "S-sayonara..." and with that, he began to walk away, not daring to once look back at Roxas, not daring to... because if he did, he'd be back over there in an instant... unable to leave for the brink of despair again…
Someone else was little better. Roxas had his hands still where he'd pushed away Axel's... the space empty. The warmth was gone. The guilt was back again. The loneliness was intensifying, the spiral to oblivion taking over, away, away from everything he ever cared about, and loved, and only wanted to be with... but couldn't... fate... was a cruel thing.
This was goodbye. Their second goodbye. The... truthful goodbye.
So, he was just going to let Axel walk away?
... was he?
He had to, didn’t he?
... was he going to let him go?
Feeling the emptiness pile over him, Roxas did the only thing he could do, standing upright, stumbling over his own feet, attempting to run but only managing something close to a struggled walk, letting whatever his thoughts be take over, that being to cry if he wanted to, follow Axel if he wanted to, scream if he wanted to...
"AXEL!"
Axel paused, hesitating before letting his foot land in the sand, not knowing what to do. He said he wouldn't turn back... yet his beloved was calling, and that just made it worse. The wind came, swiftly lifting at his hair and his cloak, blowing harshly, making the reality even colder than it was...
"Axel... don't... don't go!"
He was crying again. Axel could tell. It was like... another sense he had. Should he... leave him? No... that would be... more guilt... That would come back to him, time after time after time...
"Axel..." Roxas stopped, falling to the ground, panting as if having run a marathon, as if he'd given up, like he was chasing something slipping in and out of focus...
Until he was back on his feet.
Axel had come back.
Axel spoke softly, debating carefully on his words before saying them. "You said... I had to go. And I'll be waiting for you... till the ends of the earth. I'll find you again. We'll find each other again. I'll be waiting, watching that line of dead, waiting for you... then I'll go with you..."
Roxas shook his head. "I don't want to be alone again."
Axel slowly released the grip on Roxas' hands, leaving him to fend for himself once again, sighing. "It's... impossible for me to stay."
Heartbreak. Broken. It was over... over... Roxas' face grew dark as his gaze ceased to be, shutting out the world and Axel's face in front of his, trying his best to let it all go away.
"Sayonara," Axel repeated, with a slight slither more of confidence than before. But he didn't walk away this time. Lifting Roxas' chin once again, he stared down at the empty face that had come… and threw away all sense of reasoning.
And kissed him.
It was brief. It was sudden. But it worked to its effect, bringing Roxas' sight back to Axel, unable to move from where he was standing, as Axel pulled himself away, still at Roxas' height. It was something so simple, yet it gave more than a thousand words and feelings... before Axel could even consider walking away or savour it, Roxas returned it - something so close to any emotion that neither was supposed to have.
And then, it was over, as all moments were.
"Sayonara, Axel..." Roxas whispered into Axel's ear, his voice sorrowful.
"No... not forever. Someday... we'll be together again. I promise."
And with that, Axel turned away, leaving Roxas behind to raise a hand in objection: but doing little more than sighing with something similar to peace of mind, watching as Axel walked further and further into the distance, refusing to break. Not until Axel couldn't see him.
He paused momentarily, turning round, and saluting with a very weak smile, mumbling under his breath, "Take care of him, okay?" And with that, broke off into a run, finally disappearing forever.
Roxas fell to his knees, the sand feeling as though it'd swallow him whole… there was nothing more for him now... but he'd have to be strong... live the life Axel never got a chance to lead. The dull, humming pain was back in his shoulder, increasing the heartache, making it hurt more... what was worse, was that was all he had left of Axel... that wound... he was crying again, and he didn't care who heard him. He was allowed to cry. He had the right, at least, to cry.
"Roxas," two hands touched his right shoulder, and then another touched his arm. Axel's words finally made sense - he was talking about Sora, Kairi, and Naminé.
"You did good, Roxas," Sora nodded brightly, though he knew it wouldn’t brighten Roxas' mood at all. He just... wasn't good when it came to dealing with his nobody.
The girls, however, seemed to have the best tactic. "You told him, didn't you...?" Kairi asked, kneeling down alongside him, gently embracing him slightly, as Naminé did the same. "We'll remember him too... we won't forget... and Axel won't be forgotten," Naminé added, smiling.
Roxas couldn't explain how, but... at the simplistic words of Sora, and the encouraging and sympathetic words of Kairi and Naminé, he truly felt... he could keep going, till the time when death took him and Sora away. Till the time when life ran its course, and the days would grow tiring and dull, and death would swipe across its hand. The day when Roxas could be his own entity, walking along those passages to the afterlife, but there, he wouldn't be alone. Someone would care, be there, waiting. Waiting for him, even though time has run along its merry way to create years. Afterall, love prevails even for the most unlikely pair of lovers.
It was decided. It was simple. A simple thing to do. Fighting that battle, the battle for them to be together. He would keep going. Waiting. Waiting for that day, no matter how long it would take.
Until the day he could see Axel again.
AFTERWORD
I broke two Kingdom Hearts rules here. For one thing, they don't bleed. You ever notice that? No? XD Well they don't. Eh, and the fact I've totally gone off on my idea of supernatural stuff, like with the soul corridor and the nobody thing... but the nobody thing was all for good...! Honestly! XD Without it there would be no fanfic, haha. Still, my other thing... first time I've written in a kiss, heh. XD First literal time writing in a proper YAOI kiss, mind. Okay okay, I admit, roleplayed it lodes of times, but never in fanfiction where it's solo work and as said. Never strictly a boy/boy rel.
The reason Axel came back? Restless spirit. He was never really content with himself, and the guilt just kind of came about... not surprising when you have that much time to think. Now, he can go back and wait, feeling... satisfied, I suppose. I send cookies to Sora lovers and Kairi lovers cos I had Axel hurt them.
And Roxas. He doesn't feel guilty anymore, either.
Eh, and don’t worry. Sora won't be scarred (much) by that chakram incident. Maybe slightly. Or maybe, he won't be, and Roxas will... open for interpretation. And it wasn't intentianal for Axel to slap Kairi. It just... kinda... appeared there. XD
So... I'm quite content right now. I got in my two KH OTPs~! That being, Sora/Kairi and Axel/Roxas, so I'm pretty pleased about getting them both in. Though I guess if you wanted to be dead picky, there are several others in there too. A few of which I do in some shape or form support (which would be Sora/Naminé and perhaps Roxas/Kairi) but those are the ones I'm writing it for. Sora/Kairi less so, but it slipped in.
Songs... boy. Songs really helped me write this. Giving me emo songs and then fanfiction doesn't warrant happy things, I'm afraid. It provokes angst. Songs that gave me love today were... 'Hundred' by The Fray (awesome, highly recommend it), 'Iris' by The Goo Goo Dolls, and 'Sound the Bugle' by Bryan Adams... and finally 'Right Here Waiting' by Richard Marx. Eh, you didn’t need to know that. But nevermind.
Anyways... I hope you liked it, and got to wallow in my slightly fangirly emo mind for a short time. XD Yeah. AkuRoku was mostly canon. Well. Leniant, as canon as I could get it to be. It's definitely not ooc though, so it's all good. Yup.
Oh, and finally... this is for the one and only Candace (candeefloss). She told me to write an AkuRoku fic including Sora in some sense, so it's completely dedicated to her. She's going to kill me at how much time I spent going 'WAIT!!' *checks over, title, etc*, but it's all for a good cause... I'm hoping to have got a tear out of you, and anyone else reading. May the AkuRoku roleplaying we have continue for a long time. XD