insert an epigram for awkwardness here (1/2)

Feb 04, 2013 01:31


insert an epigram for awkwardness here
kaisoo (jongin/kyungsoo).
pg-13.
au. romance. humor/crack.
twoshot/~12,500w.

Jongin is the God of Awkwardness who falls in love with one of the most awkward human beings on Earth - Do Kyungsoo. {psuedo-Greek mythology!AU}






INSERT AN EPIGRAM FOR AWKWARDNESS HERE

There are many perks to being a Greek god. Immortality's a given, and you get to mess around with the humans, and they still love you anyway. They build temples and shrines in your name, and sacrifice the best meals.

Unfortunately, not much can be said about the lesser known gods. After all, everyone knows about the God of Thunder or the God of War, but what about the God of Awkwardness? Indeed, it is quite painful being a god of something almost everyone despises. Even Jongin himself cringes at the mere sight of awkwardness, his own creation.

Then again, maybe that's just because he's awkward.

Not to mention that the other gods don't even like being around him. Of course, the higher gods don't waste their time with menial ones - Jongin lost track of how many times he tried scheduling a lunch with Zeus, but he thinks it's been over 5,000 times - but even the irrelevant gods don't want to spend time with Jongin. Only Zeus really knows how embarrassed it was to be rejected by Luhan, the God of Deers for crying out loud.

Okay, maybe Junmyeon, the God of Embarrassment, also knew too, but that was beside the point.

The point was the only gods who tolerated being around Jongin seemed to be Sehun, the God of Lisps (who made Jongin feel even more awkward than he already was at times) and Chanyeol, the God of Mild-Creepiness and Bad-Hair-Days.

And nowadays, not even Sehun is around that often, and he's the God of Lisps. Lisps dammit! Luhan apparently finds it endearing though.

So now Jongin's stuck with Chanyeol, and he can tell you this - awkwardness and creepiness do not mix well. Jongin sits around playing with his fingers while Chanyeol stares at him with bug eyes and that creepy smile that never leaves his lips. It's unsettling and it almost makes Jongin wish he had no friends at all.

"Oh my Zeus, can you stop?" Jongin asks exasperatedly, fidgeting in his seat. "Can't we talk about the weather or something instead of you staring at me?"

"That's awkward," Chanyeol mentions, and Jongin stares at him with this "what the fuck" look on his face for the longest time until Chanyeol realizes what he just said. His only commentary is, "Oh."

Jongin always wonders if Chanyeol is also the God of Stupidity.

"So I was watching the humans today," Chanyeol begins, completely changing the subject now. Jongin frowns, thinking, Creepy, but then again, what do I expect? "And I swear I saw the finest piece of ass I have ever seen in my days. And trust me, I've had many days."

Jongin sighs. He's not really interested in humans in that way. Of course he plays with them, visiting for fun and to mess around whenever he can't get a hold of Sehun or Chanyeol, but they never seem to like him anyway. Awkwardness makes love really hard for anyone, but Jongin's the worst case there is. He thought asking Luhan wouldn't be too bad, because deers and awkwardness aren't that bad of a combination, but Luhan apparently had his eyes set on someone else.

Whoever said Greek gods were promiscuous didn't know these gods.

"I watched him for an entire week," Chanyeol continues, voice dream-like now. "Watched him eat, watched him sing, watched him talk, watched him sleep, watched him shower-"

"Okay, that's enough. This is getting awkward for me now," Jongin says, standing up.

"Isn't it always awkward for you?" Chanyeol asks curiously.

Jongin shoots him a glare and stalks off the other way, leaving Chanyeol to his creepy, perverted fantasies. Honestly, at this point, Jongin doesn't even know if gods are worth spending time with anymore.

He's walking back to his cave of awkwardness when he trips on a rock - Jongin swears he's the only god who trips... well, him and the God of Tripping and the God of Embarrassment - and falls through the clouds. Jongin cannot put into words how much he hates living in the sky. He falls at least once every month, and one time he fell in front of a couple. He had to watch as the two became incredibly awkward, and ugh. It was awkward.

Sometimes Jongin falls into empty fields though; those were nice days. Unfortunately, this was not one of those days.

Jongin barely catches himself before he goes crashing into a human boy. It looks as if he's on some university campus, relatively empty aside from the occasional student here or there. This student in particular doesn't seem to notice Jongin's presence, which is strange because usually Jongin turns even a lone person awkward by just glancing at him.

But this boy just continues walking, fumbling with his notebook to glance at his watch. He frowns down at it and quickens his pace, and Jongin watches in confusion.

And after a moment's hesitation, he follows.

Chanyeol is starting to rubbing off on him.

Another perk of being a Greek god is that humans can't see you unless you want them to. Jongin can appear in the blink of an eye as easily as he can disappear. For the most part, however, he's stayed invisible.

It all changes when the fire nation attacks.

No, but really, a student carrying a cigarette bumps into Jongin, burning him and catching him off guard. He appears without meaning to, freaks out the kid who goes from scared to awkward in a flat second, and Jongin just chuckles nervously as he slowly backs away, rubbing the spot on his arm where he was burned.

He hopes no one saw, but when he looks ahead, he sees the boy he was following staring at him, wide-eyed.

My gods, you're beautiful, Jongin thinks to himself.

"Heh, burn," Jongin says dumbly, gesturing to his arm with a love-struck look on his face. The boy frowns and walks the other way, Jongin watching him as he leaves.

What is this emotion? he thinks as he floats back up to his home in the clouds, where he spends the remainder of the day watching the boy from the safety of his room.

-

"So this is what you've been doing," a deep voice snaps Jongin out of his daydreams. He turns to glare at the unwanted intruder.

"What do you want, Chanyeol?" Jongin asks, frowning. Watching his stranger - whose name turns out to be Do Kyungsoo - has made him actually feel less awkward the past few days. But Chanyeol's reappearance makes Jongin feel ten times more awkward than before.

But then again, maybe that's the effect Chanyeol has on everyone

"I haven't seen you around, so I came by to check up on you."

"I'm a god, for Zeus' sake. I can take care of myself," Jongin huffs exasperatedly, crossing his arms. He doesn't have time for Chanyeol's nonsense - Kyungsoo is about to go on lunch break from his job at the flower shop (which Jongin finds adorable beyond belief) and he always breaks out into a smile when he eats. It's cute. Like everything else about this Kyungsoo of his.

"There was that one time when you fell into that one well Hades digged up and you were stuck there for what? 50 years?"

"It felt like a hundred," Jongin mumbles. "But that was a mistake! How was I supposed to know they were doing renovations?!"

"Everyone got the memo," Chanyeol says, rolling his eyes and Jongin watches in horror because he swears one day Chanyeol's eyes will pop out of his head. "Even I did."

"Oh whatever! That was like a millenia ago!"

"It was like, half a millenia ago," Chanyeol corrects, and Jongin hates that Chanyeol only makes logical points at the worst times.

"Are you sure you didn't come to bother me?" Jongin snaps, and Chanyeol raises an eyebrow.

"Wow, no need to get so snippy. Actually, I came to invite you to come with me and Junmyeon to the human world. It's always fun going with Junmyeon. Either he trips up, or he makes someone else trip up." Chanyeol snickers to himself.

Most of the time, Jongin rejected offers like these. He would call them dumb and childish, then retreat to his Cave of Awkwardness to watch re-run episodes of his favorite sitcom, Everybody Hates Hermes.

But this time, Jongin had other plans in mind. "Sure," he says, standing up. Chanyeol stumbles a few steps back, eyes wide.

"What."

"I said sure," Jongin repeats with a frown. Back to weird Chanyeol again.

"But you-you hate seeing the humans," Chanyeol stammers in horror and disbelief.

"I don't hate it," Jongin defends, crossing his arms. "It's just so awkward," he mumbles, uncrossing his arms and letting them fall loosely at his sides. Honestly, there's no fun in being a god when you're too awkward to do anything.

"Well, what do you expect?" Chanyeol asks, and Jongin stares at him. "Right. Well, let's get going then. I'll grab Junmyeon. Meet you by the gates!" He dashes off, and Jongin leaves for the front gates.

He peeks down while he waits for Chanyeol to come back with Junmyeon. Immediately, he spots Kyungsoo sitting alone at a small street vendor booth, eating meat on a stick as he reads through a paper. Jongin leans a little too closely and down, down, down he falls.

Honestly, Jongin doesn't even know if he was expecting anything else.

He falls just beside Kyungsoo silently (although it still hurts his butt) with an (inaudible to human ears) oomph. The pain is short-lived, however, as he watches Kyungsoo's face light up as the old man hands him another meat stick.

The boy sure does love his meat.

And Jongin sure does love his Kyu-

Wait a minute. The God of Awkwardness does not feel this emotion called love. He hasn't felt it since he became a god way back when.

This is not love. No, this is simply a fascination. An interest. A past-time. An obsession.

Jongin doesn't notice as Chanyeol and Junmyeon fall gracefully - well, as gracefully as the God of Mild Creepiness and the God of Embarrassment can be - behind him, watching in vague amusement at the obvious crush Jongin has on a mere mortal.

"Now I know why you were so eager to come down here," Chanyeol snickers, and Jongin's head snaps their way. "Practically tripped over your feet to see this boy here." Chanyeol glances at Kyungsoo. "He's cute."

"He's mine!" Jongin says immediately, glaring at Chanyeol who's now eyeing Kyungsoo like a piece of meat. Chanyeol, as nice of a guy he was to Jongin and the other guys, probably had enough affairs to rival Zeus. And that's saying something.

Chanyeol claims he's "looking for the one," but Jongin's pretty sure he means he's just looking to get laid. Because, despite being god of Mild Creepiness and Bad-Hair-Days, people still love gods.

"He's too cute for me," Chanyeol says with a shrug. "Looks squishy though. You should go after him."

Jongin splutters, face red and Junmyeon knows it's not him causing the embarrassment. "W-What?! What would I say? I make things so awkward! He'd hate me!"

"You're a god, Jongin!" Chanyeol reminds him exasperatedly. "Even if you're an awkward one. Humans dig the gods."

"No," Jongin groans. "I don't want him to know I'm a god."

"Why not?" Chanyeol frowns. "That always works!"

"Because," Jongin mumbles. "It's embarrassing. Barely anyone believes in that stuff these days."

"The people I sleep with do..."

"You sleep with ditzes, Chanyeol. One of them also believed Super Junior isn't gay." Jongin, Chanyeol, and Junmyeon all exchange looks before bursting out in laughter.

"Ah, that was funny," Chanyeol says, wiping a tear.

"So stupid," Jongin sighs, shaking his head.

"But really, how else would you approach him?" Chanyeol asks, crossing his arms.

"I don't know. I'd probably try something laidback, but end up doing something lame and awkward. Like a joke or something." Jongin shrugs noncommitally. Not that it'll ever happen, though, because Jongin will never have the balls to do it.

"Do you have a joke in mind?"

"I guess. I was online the other day-"

"You really need to get out of your cave."

"No. As I was saying, I was online the other day, and I came across this pretty neat line. It starts-"

"Save it," Chanyeol cuts off.

Jongin frowns. "For what? It's not like I'm going to meet anyone new soo-" Chanyeol pushes him before he can react, and caught off-guard like the first time, Jongin reveals himself by accident and stumbles in front of Kyungsoo.

A moment passes. Kyungsoo stares. Jongin stares. Kyungsoo stares. Jongin blinks. Kyungsoo stares. Jongin panics.

"What breaks the ice?" Jongin blurts. The silence was too much!

Kyungsoo continues to stare, and Jongin answers before Kyungsoo can even think.

"A polar bear!"

Jongin is as smooth as sandpaper. He closes his eyes and braces himself for laughter, ridicule, teasing - but is surprised when he hears soft chuckling (it sounds like a pegasus peeing rainbows - which is Jongin speak for magical). He cracks one eye open to see two large orbs looking back at him, smiling.

"I guess it does break the ice," he muses, and Jongin's mouth feels dry and his hands are sweaty and holy Zeus, he's talking to Jongin! "But that kind of sucks for the polar bear. He'd fall into the water."

Kyungsoo keeps smiling, Jongin keeps staring, and at the back of Jongin's ear Chanyeol whispers for him to take Kyungsoo right then and there and fuck Chanyeol is no help at all. He tries to subtly shoo Chanyeol away without making Kyungsoo find him any weirder than he already has.

"But he'd be okay," Jongin says, and it's hard to articulate words because Kyungsoo is a lot cuter up close than he is when Jongin watches him in 1080p from his cave's All-Seeing TV (another perk of being a Greek god). "I mean, he has fur and everything."

"I guess," Kyungsoo says with a nod, and damn he has a great smile. He should be God of Smiles, Jongin muses. Too bad that position's already taken.

"So do you like kimchi?" Jongin blurts, and damn that is one of the stupidest questions all day, he tells himself (and Chanyeol also reminds him very obnoxiously). Of course he likes kimchi! He's eating it right now!

But Kyungsoo doesn't seem to mind the rather dense question. He answers warmly, "Yeah, especially in kimchi spaghetti."

Jongin almost drools at the sound of that. He hadn't had any kimchi spaghetti in so long. After all, he doesn't really see many sacrifices... No one has any respect for the God of Awkwardness. "That sounds good," he says without thinking, and watches as Kyungsoo's smile tugs again.

"It is good. I mean, I know this one place downtown actually. I could recommend it to you?"

Jongin wants to say he'd rather have Kyungsoo take him there himself, but he figures he should take it slow. He doesn't want to freak Kyungsoo (or himself) out.

He nods eagerly instead, and Kyungsoo smiles and takes out a napkin to jot down the address for him. He hands it to Jongin, then excuses himself. "I have to go now, but it was nice meeting you..."

"Jongin!" he answers quickly, and Kyungsoo smiles.

"Nice to meet you, Jongin. I, uh, hope you like the kimchi place." He bows and leaves, and Jongin watches him leave.

He looks down at the folded napkin. There's an address and... if you want, we can go eat there together some time? ^^;; Jongin thinks it would have been helpful if he was given some form of communication (like a number) to contact Kyungsoo with (because he doesn't want to look too weird just knowing where Kyungsoo is), but he figures Kyungsoo is cute and his note is even cuter, so he'll let it slide.

Jongin holds the napkin close to his chest as Chanyeol pushes him back home.

-

"What was that?" Chanyeol asks as soon as they return to Jongin's cave.

"What was what?" Jongin asks innocently, still glowing from his meeting with his perfect Kyungsoo.

"That," Chanyeol reiterates, pointing back down to the human world. "With Myungsoo or whatever-"

"Kyungsoo, his name was Kyungsoo!" Jongin corrects immediately, sobering momentarily, and Chanyeol rolls his eyes.

"Right. What was that?"

"I don't know, magical?" Jongin asks, falling back into his dream-like state. Chanyeol could almost see the little hearts around his head, and he looked around to see if Cupid was around playing his games. No Cupid, just Jongin unfortunately.

"Dude, you weren't... awkward?" Chanyeol says incredulously. "I mean, maybe at first, but it looked as if you two were actually normal for a second back there."

"He's normal," Jongin defends, and Chanyeol stares at him blankly before walking over and turning on the All-Knowing TV (which is forever on Kyungsoo from now on, apparently).

They watch as Kyungsoo trips over air as he walks with his friends, and as he laughs awkwardly when he almost pushed his friend into the mud. He then goes on to bump into one of his professors by accident, spilling his iced tea all over his nice white shirt. When Kyungsoo attempts to clean it up, he ends up staining one of his essay papers.

Chanyeol sees a mess, Jongin sees a cutie.

"He's almost as awkward as you!" Chanyeol exclaims, turning off the TV before Jongin can start drooling. "I didn't even know it was possible."

"But he's cuter, so-" Jongin hums, and Chanyeol wants to cry.

"All I want to know is how you guys acted so not-awkward when the two of you have enough awkwardness to fill a room full of confident men."

Jongin frowns, finally pausing in his thoughts about Kyungsoo and listening to Chanyeol long enough to hear what he has to say. "I don't know. Maybe our awkwardness cancels each others out. Like a negative with a negative."

"Hey, I'm not the God of Math," Chanyeol says, and Jongin refrains from throwing a stone at him.

"Just go home," Jongin says tiredly, and Chanyeol shrugs.

"Okay. But hey, tell me when you get laid man. It's been so long, I almost thought you lost your dick." Jongin lets out a scandalous gasp as he pushes Chanyeol out of his cave and shuts him out.

Lost his dick? Hah! That'll be the day. His dick is very healthy, thank you very much. Just thinking of Kyungsoo makes that very apparent.

-

It takes Jongin a week to get the nerves to go back down to the human world and purposely-by-accident run into Kyungsoo. Thankfully, Chanyeol has been busy doing Zeus-knows-what, and has left him alone to handle his own affairs.

Jongin is sure to put on a rather nice outfit today. It spends him almost an hour just doing his hair - not a single strand of hair could be out of place! - and another to figure out which colors best contrast his skin tone. You'd think being a Greek god would come with all these amazing powers to change your looks and such - nope. Not when you're an irrelevant (and unwanted) one apparently.

When he finally arrives at the human world, he stumbles into almost everyone he sees. His saving grace is that they can't see him, his not-saving grace is that he's in a crowded room full of previously-chatting professors and it's starting to get eerily quiet (and awkward).

Jongin high-tails it out of there as one of the professors starts to make a really bad joke about suits.

He knows Kyungsoo is somewhere around the school's campus. He's supposed to be leaving one of his classes anytime soon, and Jongin wants to "accidentally" run into him and ask him out for kimchi spaghetti.

The plan doesn't sound too bad in his head, but the moment he sees Kyungsoo walking his way with a friend, he freezes in his spot.

Kyungsoo's wearing a sweater vest. Jongin almost whimpers. Sweater vests are the epitome of adorable.

Kyungsoo and his friend are walking his way, and Jongin gulps and dashes behind a tree to appear. He steps out, now visible to humans, and he opens his dry mouth to call Kyungsoo. But Kyungsoo sees him first.

"Jongin?" he asks, that familiar smile tugging across his lips.

"H-Hey, Kyungsoo," Jongin stammers, smiling stupidly back at him.

If Kyungsoo wondered how Jongin knew his name, he didn't ask. "Do you go to school here?"

"I, uh..." Jongin hesitates, not wanting to lie to Kyungsoo, but not knowing what to say instead. I finished school over five thousand years ago?

"Because I saw you the other day on campus, too," Kyungsoo admits. "When somebody ran into you with ah, a cigarrette I think?"

Oh. That. "Y-Yeah. I come here sometimes, but I don't... go here."

"Oh." Kyungsoo looks confused now. "So what are you doing here then?"

Right. What was he doing there? Well, the answer's obvious (even Kyungsoo's friend seems to get it, as his mouth forms an 'o' shape and a smirk follows), but it's a bit hard for Jongin to actually say it out loud.

"Um, I was wondering if you'd want to go eat kimchi spaghetti with me? At that place you recommended?" Jongin asks, and he's about to word vomit and continue with some lame excuse to ensure Kyungsoo's he's not a creeper when-

"That sounds nice."

Jongin chokes on his spit. Did Kyungsoo just say yes? "Really?" he sputters, and Kyungsoo's smile widens.

"Yeah. I just have to put away my books, but maybe we could meet each other there?" Kyungsoo offers, shuffling on his feet. He's looking down, a flush on his cheeks now, and Jongin wants to squeal.

"Sure!" he says a bit too abruptly, causing Kyungsoo to jump a bit. "I mean, yeah, sounds cool." He nods, and Kyungsoo nods back with a grin.

"Okay, see you there," he says with a wave, and him and his friend go back walking their way. Jongin pretends to walk the other way before he hides behind a tree again, disappearing to human eyes, and begins to follow Kyungsoo.

Jongin thinks he's becoming more stalker-like with each meeting.

"What was that?" Kyungsoo's friend (his name is Hyunsik, if Jongin remembers correctly).

"Nothing," Kyungsoo insists, but the flush on his face says otherwise. Hyunsik snorts, elbowing Kyungsoo lightly.

"C'mon. Usually you get choked up around, well, everyone. Hell, there are times when even I feel awkward around you, and I've known you for practically forever now," Hyunsik scoffs. "But you looked totally laidback with that guy. Who was he?"

"Jongin," Kyungsoo answers softly.

"Yeah, but who is he?"

"I don't know," Kyungsoo mumbles, ducking his head from Hyunsik's teasing eyes. "I saw him around a couple of times, and I don't know."

"He just makes you not-awkward?"

"Apparently," Kyungsoo sighs. "It's nice, though, when he's around. Which is weird, because I've only seen him two times so far. Three, I guess, if you count that one time I saw him get burned." There's a fond smile playing Kyungsoo's lips that make Jongin smile too.

Hyunsik catches it as well. "Aww, you like him," he teases, poking Kyungsoo's cheek. "My wittle Kyungsoo baby has a crush," he coos, and Kyungsoo slaps his hand away exasperatedly.

"Why are you so annoying?" he huffs, puffing his cheeks. Jongin places his hands on his cheeks. So. Cute.

"I'm not annoying," Hyunsik laughs.

"That's objective," Kyungsoo mumbles.

"I'm only happy for you. You're finally breaking out of your shell and dating! I mean, when was the last time you ever spoke to anyone, much less flirt with them?"

"I didn't flirt with him!" Kyungsoo snaps, and Jongin watches in amusement because he's actually never seen Kyungsoo get riled up before. Is it wrong to still say it's cute?

Hyunsik snorts. "'That sounds nice,'" he mimicks, blinking prettily at Kyungsoo. Kyungsoo glares at him, and Hyunsik bursts out laughing.

"I don't blink that much," Kyungsoo mumbles as they enter their shared room.

"Yeah, you don't blink at all."

Kyungsoo throws his book at him. "Whatever. I'm going now-"

"Wait!"

Kyungsoo frowns. "What now?"

"Are you really going to go on a date looking like that?" Hyunsik asks, placing a hand on his hip with a nuh-uh look on his face.

"Well, yeah. What's wrong with my outfit?" Kyungsoo asks, pouting. Jongin wants to cry out that Kyungsoo looks great with anything.

"I don't think so," Hyunsik deadpans. "I mean, you're wearing a sweater vest. That makes me uncomfortable as is. All because your meeting back there wasn't awkward doesn't mean it can't become awkward. Come on, I'll help you pick an outfit."

Kyungsoo sighs. "I'll be late, Hyunsik. Maybe you can help me pick out an outfit next time."

Hyunsik raises an eyebrow. "Next time?" he says (and Jongin thinks excitedly).

Kyungsoo flushes. "I don't know! Gotta go, bye!" He dashes out the room before Hyunsik can react, and Hyunsik calls after him while holding out a pair of tight white pants.

Jongin looks at the pants for a long moment, thinks about how good they'd look on Kyungsoo, then poofs to the restaurant to meet said man.

-

Jongin appears five minutes before Kyungsoo, and spends that time checking himself in the reflection of the glass windows. When he spots Kyungsoo approaching, he turns and tries to put on his best, not-awkward smile. It surprisingly works - Jongin smiles relatively normal.

Kyungsoo returns the gesture. "Hi," he says as he closes the gap between them. There's a good foot or two between them now.

"Hi," Jongin breathes.

They stand there in mutual silence, staring at each other. In any other case, this would have been incredibly awkward. But Jongin has never felt as such ease, and he can sense Kyungsoo feels the same.

Kyungsoo's smile deepens. "Ah, we should go in now," he says softly, and Jongin nods eagerly. They walk over to the entrance, and Jongin holds the door open for Kyungsoo before entering the restaurant after him.

They are seated in the corner of the restaurant. It's not that crowded right now - Jongin asked Kyungsoo out at a pretty weird time, around 3:00PM when everyone was typically done with lunch, not that Kyungsoo seemed to mind.

Jongin allows Kyungsoo to order for them, and after the waiter leaves, Kyungsoo turns to Jongin.

"So, uh, where do you go to school then, Jongin?" Kyungsoo starts.

"I-uh... finished school," Jongin says, and it's technically not a lie.

"Oh, really?" Kyungsoo asks, surprised. His head tilts to the side, and his eyes widen, and Jongin can't believe someone like Kyungsoo even exists. How can he be just a human when he's handsomer than the gods Jongin knows? "How old are you?"

Jongin freezes. Oh no. What do I say?! I'm over 5,000 years old?! Bordering 5,500?! "Er, how old do I look?"

Kyungsoo laughs. "I don't know. I was thinking... maybe eighteen? Nineteen? But you've finished school, so maybe I was wrong."

Jongin's not sure how old he looks, but he did turn into a God around the age of nineteen, so that sounded about right. "Yeah, I'm nineteen."

"Really?" Kyungsoo's eyes widen even more, and Jongin watches in awe because he thought Chanyeol had big eyes, but Kyungsoo has him beat.

"Yeah. I skipped some grades," Jongin lies stiffly, and if Kyungsoo suspects anything, he doesn't say anything.

"That's cool," he comments. "What did you major in?"

Jongin wants to cry. He really doesn't want to talk about himself - he'd much rather talk about Kyungsoo. "Um, dance," Jongin says quickly, naming the first thing on his mind. That too isn't necessarily a lie; Jongin was, surprising enough, a good - even great - dancer as a human. His mentor ended up being the God of Dance actually.

"Wow, that's amazing," Kyungsoo breathes, and Jongin smiles proudly. "Do you dance somewhere?"

"No," Jongin says quickly. "I, um, stopped for a while."
"Oh... why?" Kyungsoo asks, frowning.

Jongin blinks. "Injury?" he lies weakly.

"Aw, I'm sorry!" Kyungsoo says, frowning.

"It's okay," Jongin says with a nod. "Um, enough about me though. What about you? What do you major in?"

Kyungsoo smiles softly. "I originally majored in history - Greek history, actually. But it wasn't as interesting as I hoped, so I changed it to cooking, then singing."

"Singing?" Jongin asks, smiling. Kyungsoo looks like he'd be a nice singer. And no, Jongin's not biased.

"Yeah, my parents were mad at first," Kyungsoo admits, playing with the chopsticks. "But I couldn't see myself doing anything else, honestly."

Jongin's smile softens as he watches Kyungsoo talk. It's a bit cliched, but it's almost as if the light softens around Kyungsoo, who emanates something akin to love, something Jongin's been looking for subconsciously.

"Maybe you could sing for me one day?" Jongin asks, and Kyungsoo grows quiet. But he never stops smiling.

"If you dance for me," he finally answers.

Jongin wants to say no, but he can't deny Kyungsoo. "Okay." It's a promise.

They eat in a comfortable silence, appreciating each others' presence. To an outsider, it looks more like a meal between lovers than a meal between almost-acquaintances.

When the meal is over and paid for, they wait outside, both too reluctant to leave.

"This is going to sound... weird," Kyungsoo begins first, breaking the silence. "But I really enjoyed lunch with you. I mean, I know we're just strangers, but... I was hoping we could do it again?" Kyungsoo asks shyly, ducking his head and looking up at Jongin through his eyelashes.

Jongin smiles. "Not weird at all. I'd like that a lot, too, actually."

Kyungsoo returns the smile widely. "I don't know what it is, but when I see you... I feel a lot more relaxed. Ahh, this is embarrassing to say but... I'm actually kind of awkward around people." Kyungsoo rubs the back of his neck, flush creeping up to his ears.

Jongin laughs softly. He wants to reach out and take Kyungsoo's hand, but maybe it's best to take things slow for now. To savor the moments. "I know what you mean," Jongin settles for, and he really does.

Kyungsoo makes him feel normal, and that's all Jongin's ever wanted.

-

They meet often after that. There were rarely any awkward moments between the two, with few exceptions such as when Kyungsoo asked Jongin for his phone number (he had to buy one, and he still isn't entirely sure how to use it).

But otherwise, there seemed to be a mutual understanding between the two. No matter what they do together, from watching movies in Kyungsoo's dorm to playing video games at arcades, they don't need many words to communicate. A moment glance, a soft touch - it's enough.

When they shared their first kiss about a month into their relationship, Kyungsoo laughed because Jongin almost tripped into him, and Jongin could feel the vibrations shake him. It was pleasant. Beyond pleasant. Beyond descriptions.

Jongin knew he was in love, knew it from the very first time he saw Kyungsoo. It felt good, and he wondered why he didn't try this before. Then again, he knew exactly why - he's never met anyone who's touched him (not in a perverted way! an emotional way! so far, at least...) like Kyungsoo has.

As nice as it sounds to humans, who know the joys of a first love, even an only love, to gods - well, this sounds very...

"RIDICULOUS!" Luhan cackles, falling back into Sehun's arms as he laughs. All of his god 'friends' have gathered at Chanyeol's asking to talk about Jongin, apparently.

"Wait, you mean you've never been with a human? Not once? Your entire life?"

"I didn't feel the need to," Jongin snaps. "I only made things awkward whenever I tried to approach them!"

"Dude, are you sure you still have a penis?" Sehun asks, looking quite serious. "It hasn't shriveled up?"

"Well, he still has his hand, I guess," Junmyeon comments from the side, and Jongin wants to fall into a well again.

"Aww, I guess we should cut the guy some slack," Chanyeol finally speaks up, and Jongin wonders if this is all a sick joke because when is Chanyeol ever reasonable?

"Yeah..."

"I mean, seriously, have you guys noticed it's a little less awkward being around Jongin right now?" he asks, and Jongin frowns. What?

"Oh. Hey, he's right," Luhan hums in acknowledgement. "I don't feel like running out of here."

"Me, too," Sehun notes.

"Really?" Jongin asks curiously. That's weird.

"Maybe Kyungsoo's a good thing for you," Chanyeol says with a smirk. "You know, besides being a lay."

Jongin flushes, and all the gods in the room's eyes widen.

"Wait. Have you... had sex with him yet?" Junmyeon asks cautiously.

"N-No," Jongin mumbles, looking down. "I mean, he's just a human!"

"But why else play with humans?" Luhan asks incredulously.

"I'm not playing with him!" Jongin snaps, and the room falls into a silence again at the weight of Jongin's words.

"This is dangerous, Jongin," Sehun murmurs.

"Why? It's just a relationship! Like you and Luhan!" Jongin defends, crossing his arms.

Luhan shakes his head. "It's not the same," he says quietly. He tugs at Sehun's sleeve. "We should go now..."

"Er, yeah," Chanyeol coughs. "I'll see you around, Jongin."

They're all leaving now, and Jongin thinks he can finally breathe (and return to watching Kyungsoo) when he sees Junmyeon lingering in the back. He frowns and walks over to him.

"Jongin... I know this is your first love with a human and all, but be careful," he warns, and Jongin's surprised at the seriousness in Jumyeon's eyes and words.

"I know," Jongin says. Humans are much more fragile than gods, after all; all gods know that.

Junmyeon sighs, running a hand through his hair. "Just... remember that humans don't live forever. But gods do." He ducks his head and leaves after that, leaving Jongin to soak up his words.

Humans don't live forever. But gods do.

Kyungsoo won't live forever. But Jongin will.

| part two

genre: crack, pairing: kai/kyungsoo, fandom: exo, fic: insert an epigram for awkwardness, genre: humor, genre: au, length: twoshot, genre: romance

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