Dramadramadrama

[thinanimous]

Group Monday was very hard and draining. I couldn't control my tears, part of me thinks it had to do with the weekend (E). I was annoyed that I had to cry but also a little relieved. My emotions are kept savely at the bottom somewhere, and most of the time I am not even sure I have feelings/emotions left. Which is scary. So yeah, I couldn't quite

Comments

[xsweetxjenx]

I can't tell you to go IP... I mean, maybe it would be for the best, but I don't know. I don't feel like it always is for everyone, BUT, I also don't know that you'll get well right now otherwise :/ That's not to say IP would make you well, either. So, what I'm saying is that I'm not help :(

I definitely think it's great to consider though. I'm trying to make the decision as if it were mine... I don't think I could do it for the same reason you said, but, maybe you're at a different point than I am. <3

[purpleplague]

If you really want to recover from your ED, then you NEED to not have that backdoor option to go back to it easily. That is why IP exists - so you can't just easily walk out and leave and go back to your ED behaviors. Otherwise, everyone would just do outpatient. I know going to a treatment center must be extremely scary, but IMO, it is the only thing that has a chance at working long-term.

[trytry_again]

To be honest, I would have many of the same concerns as you do regarding IP. The idea of having no control over not only how much I needed to eat but also what I'd be eating every day frankly scares me to death, even in the not-very-restrictive state I'm in now. Obviously I'm nowhere near "needing" IP. Even though it's never been an option that was really on the table for me though, I have thought about what it might be like or whether it would help

[trytry_again]

REALLY long, sorry! =P

[skinnyminny168]

being normal IS very boring. i'm not saying this as a judgment, i'm saying this from experience. but there is so much more peace of mind... normal is worth it.

i feel like part time has its benefits. i mean IP is definitely beneficial because you can't cheat but once you leave you no longer have that kind of support and the sudden loss of complete support might be triggering. if i did IP i feel like afterwards i would go into part time... so i can ease myself back into everyday life where support is not 100%.

[82iwant]

"being normal IS very boring. i'm not saying this as a judgment, i'm saying this from experience. but there is so much more peace of mind... normal is worth it."
agreed. very much so.

[brokemywings]

I think that for you, if you decide to go inpatient and are commited, it will be the best thing that has happened for you.
IP is so much more intensive than IOP, and your eating disorder, among your other problems, is something that is really deeply rooted in you. And like trytry_again said, it will speed up the process as well.
Basically, yep, you need to give up your eating disorder. However I don't think they'll focuss big-time on your weight and gaining, because you're not dangerously underweight and you are eating, like more than an apple a day. It's really tough and strict when you're in that kind of situation.

I'm glad that you have taken steps into the right direction, I feel like if you're gonna go for it, you'll get out of this being very strong.

[thinanimous]

that's what my mom says as well, that it would be the best gift I could ever in my life give to myself. I'm still on the fence though. I am letting my fear guide me, which is never the way to go and I know that, but I don't feel strong enough to face my fears