(Untitled)

[smithy161]

I have a bit of a block (again), and my long fics aren't quite working. So I wrote this as a distraction. The title doesn't quite work, but I swear I will never post something as 'untitled', so it will have to do for now.

This is, really, an excercise in Torchwood dynamics. I want to understand these characters better than I do.

Title: Needs and

Comments

[fandom_me]

Holy shit, YES.

This is something that's been coming up in my GAMING rather than my writing, lately, but this is very much, dead on, what I've been seeing and feeling. That part about the giving more than he's getting. I dont' think Jack IS getting from them, frankly, and honestly I think a lot of what other people read as depression missing the Doctor is, at least in part, that he's worn out and giving while he's got no reserve left to give. It's really heartbreaking, really.

AWESOME job.

[smithy161]

YES, that's it. Jack just gives, he gives to everyone, the Doctor and Rose and Torchwood and EVERYone, and no one has ever,that we have seen, given him anything in return. The man he so blatently loves doesn't look at him, his team are fascinated by him but ultimately don't seem to care much about him, and he has pretty much no one else. That has got to have an effect on him. He gives his lifeforce, his feelings, everything he has, and he's appreciated by no one.

Anyways, very glad this makes sense to you. Thank you!

[pet_lunatic]

Lovely. I love the idea of Jack's relationship with each member of his team being epitomised by the type of sex he has with them. The last line was very sad, and worked very well. The man who can't die, who has too much of himself to give, can only ever be destined to allow others, who have comparatively so little of themselves, to take and take.

[smithy161]

That's the huge thing about Jack that I'm hung up on at the moment; how much he gives to everyone, and how little he gets back. And how that must affect him and his outlook.

Thanks for reading!

[kensieg]

somebody must be able to love Jack!

[_medley_]

::stares:: I think you've got them all, really, and this makes me ache for poor Jack. That last line is such a gut punch. Insightful as hell.

[smithy161]

Awesome, thank you. And yeah, Jack's so bloody tragic. He just... cares so much about people who don't give a crap about him. And those that do go and die. I want to hug him so badly, but I don't think that would help.

[_medley_]

He just... cares so much about people who don't give a crap about him.

Or...can't care about him the way he does them. It is tragic. ::pets Jack, not that that helps either::

[aralias]

i've pretty much told you what i think of this already, but comments are always good so here's a comment.

you writing jack makes me far more interested in him than either show has managed. even moffat. so there's something.

... incidentally i think you should stick an "and" inbetween 'cost him' and 'how much' and just delete that last line, though obviously it says something that the rest of it doesn't, but it seems clumsy. OR you could move that line up until it's ahead of the penultimate one...

well, anyway. it's good. though i'm nto sure tosh would sleep with jack... but then who thought she was a lesbian? i think there is something in the torchwood water. or alien sex pollen... defiitely something. anyway, it works here.

this has turned out to be a long comment, huh? i'll end it now.

[smithy161]

Comments are good indeed!

And that last line... there's a massive difference of opinion about it. Some people love it, and a lot of people seem to think the penultimate line is stronger. I'll probably find a way of switching them around.

I don't really think Tosh would sleep with Jack either, but I didn't want to leave her out. It did take me a while to think of a way to fit her in. And then she went all angsty. I think maybe that's why I like her; I'm drawn to the angst.

And I agree. Alien sex pollen is obviously at large in Cardiff.

(Oh! And! I got a Martha figure today. I win.)

[aralias]

yay for long-awaited martha action figures!

[aralias]

also, i see that you have changed it. it is better now. this makes me happy. oh, that i could be an editorial assistant... not that that's teh point of this comment.

but i was also intrigued by the diversity of opinions on the line. still, i know i am right deep down.

[badwolf36]

Oh wow. Goregeous and heartbreaking all at the same time. Loved it. Thank you so much for sharing!

[smithy161]

Thank you for reading! Very glad you liked it.