Gray Morning -- Chapter ??
While I told myself I wouldn't be posting the bits and pieces of chapters here in this journal as I wrote them -- this part itself is its own, full chapter of Gray Morning. This chapter takes place after Jazz's return to the Empire (after Ravi discovers who Jazz really is). Enjoy. :)
Savin first noticed him on a Saturday.
He had just finished a long night of surgery. His scrubs were coated in blood and other bodily fluids, and his joints ached in ways he knew weren’t normal for a man his age, which forced him to move up the stairs at a slower pace than usual. At first, Savin thought he was seeing things when he noticed the tall man dressed in a sleek leather jacket and jeans leaning against the wall to his apartment building. Except when the two of them made eye contact, the taller man looked away first, lips pursed together in distaste and hands slipping inside of his pockets.
The next four nights, Savin would see the same man again. He’d notice additional details, like the man’s dark skin and long, thick hair pulled back in a ponytail. The man’s outfit would hardly change, mostly a rotation of plain t-shirts and jeans that went along with that sleek leather jacket. Sometimes, the man would be on his phone, cigarette dangling from his mouth. And again, he and Savin would make eye contact, some sort of understanding passing between them.
On Savin’s first night off in over a week, he grabbed his own pack of cigarettes and headed outside, his hand wrapped around his lighter tightly. The man stood where he had been for the past week, one leg bent with his foot pressed against the wall. His eyes widened a bit at the sight of Savin, but he then looked away, pulling his own pack of cigarettes out from his pocket.
“Wanna light?” the man asked Savin as he procured his own lighter. Savin shook his head, placing his own cigarette in his mouth.
“Got my own,” Savin said with a partial smile, holding up his own lighter. As he lit his cigarette and breathed in a heavy dose of smoke himself, he leaned against the wall as well, keeping a respectable distance from the man next to him.
For a few moments, the two stood next to each other in silence. Savin weighed his next words carefully, trying to determine which approach would work best. The man was obviously waiting for something -- or someone, right here, in this spot. “So, what is it that you’re waiting for, exactly?” he asked, clearing his throat.
The man flicked the cherry off his cigarette, glancing at Savin briefly. “Not waitin’ for nothing in particular. Just wanted to have a smoke. Got a problem with that?”
Savin snorted, tapping his own cigarette and watching as the ashes fell to the ground. “You don’t live here,” he said simply, giving the man his own sideways glance. “Haven’t ever seen you before this week -- and trust me, I’ve been living at these apartments for a while. I know practically everyone who lives here.”
“I just moved in,” the man said, his voice sharp and cold.
“I haven’t seen any moving trucks.”
The man pursed his lips together, studying Savin for a moment before shaking his head and looking away from him. “You pretty sharp, you know that?”
Savin gave him a rueful smile. “Kind of have to be, in my profession,” he murmured, taking another drag off his cigarette. The smoke burned his throat and soothed some of his nerves. He raked his free hand through his hair, pushing it out of his eyes before adjusting his glasses. “You’ve been hanging out here around my apartment building. Why?”
“Them stairs,” the man said, gesturing to their right. “Go just about anywhere, don’t they? Didn’t know which apartment I wanted.”
“Could have just followed me to find out which one,” Savin said without missing a beat.
The man beside him blinked, a hesitant smile breaking out on his face, revealing rather even, perfectly white teeth. “Guess I should introduce myself, then,” he said, snubbing out his cigarette on the wall and tossing it out onto the street. He offered Savin his now-free hand. “Ravi Diehl.”
“Savin Bates.” Savin slipped his own hand inside of Ravi’s, immediately noticing the roughness of Ravis palms. They shook briefly before Savin breathed in more smoke. “Though I think you already knew that.”
“Know you better as ‘Imperial Consort,’ to be honest,” Ravi said, shrugging his shoulders. He glanced up and down the street. “Might wanna go inside. Don’t wanna talk about this shit where we might be overheard.”
Savin winced. “Imperial Consort” reminded him too much of the life he was leaving behind. Reminded him that even though Jazz was back, that they hadn’t so much as spoken more than a handful of sentences to one another. He tossed his cigarette onto the ground and crushed it with his foot. “I prefer Dr. Bates,” he muttered, shoving his hands in his pockets. He ignored the chill that went through him. He didn’t say anything else as he turned on his heel and headed back towards his apartment.
As the two of them walked in silence, Savin wondered if he should alert the Imperial Guard. He was still technically married to the Emperor, after all. And Ravi, while civil so far, certainly knew something that may be of interest to the Empire. Why else would he get into contact with Savin?
Savin shook his head, clearing that thought away as he unlocked the door to his apartment. He let Ravi walk in first, who let out a low whistle at Savin’s barely furnished apartment. “Please, take a seat, Ravi.”
Ravi did as he was told, settling onto the couch and crossing one leg over the other. He glanced around the apartment once more, a slight frown on his face. “Ain’t got a whole lot here, do you?” he asked, raising an eyebrow.
Savin sat down in his arm chair and rested his hands against the arms of it. “Don’t need much when you’re hardly home,” he answered, shrugging his shoulder. Yet another silence overtook them for a moment before Savin leaned forward in his seat, placing his hands in his lap. “What’s so important that you had to come to me?” he asked, his voice quiet. He looked up at Ravi over the edge of his glasses. “And why me, while we’re at it?”
“Ain’t got anyone else I can go to with this,” Ravi said with a dismissive wave of his hand. “Could go to Blue, but -- I ain’t supposed to see him, again.”
“‘Blue’?” Savin asked, raising an eyebrow. His stomach twisted uncomfortably as Ravi gave him a pained look.
“Blue Eyes,” Ravi clarified, clearing his throat. His expression resumed its normal stoicism, but Savin saw the flash of regret and guilt in his eyes.
Savin’s eyes widened, realization dawning on him as he looked Ravi up and down, yet again. “You’re --”
“Yeah,” Ravi said, nodding his head. “You ain’t the only one he had to leave.”
Savin gave Ravi a wry smile. “I don’t think your situation with him was -- quite as dire as ours was,” he murmured. Tears welled up in his eyes for a moment as guilt and jealousy overwhelmed him. This was the man Jazz found while he was in hiding. This man, who was taller and much healthier than Savin. More attractive than Savin. Savin shook his head, trying to quell those thoughts as he best he could. There was no use in having them, not now, not when he and Jazz had no chance of reconciling their marriage.
“Sorry,” Ravi said after a moment, clearing his throat again. “Shouldn’t’ve mentioned that.”
It was Savin’s turn to give a dismissive wave of his hand. “It’s alright,” he said, clearing his own throat and swallowing his tears. “Why can’t you see him again?” Him. He. It was as though neither one of them could speak his name anymore.
Ravi frowned, turning his head away from Savin. He ran a hand over his tightly pulled back hair and sighed. “I --” He paused, his voice seeming to fail him for a moment. He then reached into his pocket, pulling out his wallet. “I got these orders,” he began again, his voice steady as he offered Savin a small piece of paper.
Savin blinked, plucking the paper from Ravi’s fingers. It had a barely legible typing on it, probably from weeks of being exposed to the elements of Ravi’s pockets. Despite the yellowing of the sheet of paper, Savin could make out two words. “Kill,” and the signature, “M.” Savin’s eyes widened, his mind filling in where the rest of the faded letters would be. “‘Kill Emperor Callahan,’” he muttered, looking up at Ravi over the edge of his glasses. “That’s what it says, right?”
Ravi nodded, taking the piece of paper back from Savin. “I got two more weeks before they come after me, instead, for not doin’ the job,” he explained, slipping the paper back in his wallet. He rested his arms on his knees, letting his hands dangle between them as he shook his head. “I got no idea what to fucking do. Can’t go to Blue, he ain’t supposed to see me again. Can’t tip off his Guard, M will fucking know. Can’t not just do the job, it’d cost me my damn life. Don’t wanna go on the fucking run. Been there, done that as a hitman-for-hire, and it’s exhausting.”
Savin nodded himself, leaning back in his seat and crossing his arms over his chest. He pursed his lips together and then sucked on his teeth as every bit of what Ravi said sunk in, word by word. “Who the hell is M?” he asked, his voice soft as he studied Ravi. “Do you have any idea who that is?”
“Never seen the man before, so I wouldn’t know,” Ravi said, sitting up straight. He mirrored Savin’s body language, crossing his own arms over his chest loosely and looking away from him. “No one’s ever seen ‘em. He just runs the whole damn Resistance from the background, givin’ us lowly peons orders from the shadows. If I knew who he was...”
“So you’re a member of the Resistance, then?” Savin asked, raising an eyebrow. “Are you sure you should even be seen with me, considering who I am?”
“Ain’t seen the Imperial Guard ‘round here in a couple of weeks,” Ravi said with a shrug of his shoulder. “Resistance spies are harder to spot, but they ain’t been around here, neither. Guess they realized Emperor Callahan ain’t coming to see you any time soon.”
Savin snorted, shaking his head for a moment before pushing his glasses back up the bridge of his nose. “Why’d you come to me?” he repeated. He felt as though his chest were beginning to cave in as he spoke his next words. “Jazz doesn’t want anything to do with me, not anymore.”
“I need your help,” Ravi answered, giving Savin a wan smile. “Help me figure out who the fuck M is before he puts a big red target on my fucking back, too.”
Savin laughed, shaking his head. “How the hell am I supposed to help with that?” he asked, pushing himself out of his chair. “I’m a surgeon, not a private detective, Mr. Diehl.”
“I know you ain’t, it’s just --” Ravi put his head in his hands, letting out an exasperated noise. “I ain’t got no where else to turn, Dr. Bates -- it’s either I kill Blue, or I die, that’s it. I’d rather not fucking die -- and I sure as hell ain’t killing Blue.”
The normally rather stoic man gave Savin a baleful look at that point, the edges of his eyes shimmering with tears. “Please. I ain’t ever begged liked this in my life. Please help me find this guy.”
“And then what?” Savin snapped, folding his arms over his chest yet again as he looked down on Ravi. “What’re you going to do if we do figure out who this ‘M’ guy is? Kill him?”
Ravi gave Savin a rueful smile. “That -- was kinda the plan, yeah,” he admitted, rubbing the back of his neck. “I got the reputation I do for a reason. Bastard won’t know what fucking hit him, when I’m through with ‘im.”
Savin opened his mouth to respond, but then just closed it and shook his head. This was the man Jazz had fallen for? “Tell me why I should help you,” he said after a moment, uncrossing his arms and slipping his hands inside his pockets. He walked around the couch and headed towards the kitchen. “You could just not do the job and go on the run, like you said.”
“Just ‘cause I didn’t do the job don’t mean Blue is safe,” Ravi called after him without even missing a beat. Savin’s footsteps faltered, and he came to a stop in the middle of the hallway, still within sight of Ravi. “M will just keep sendin’ assassin after assassin after Blue until one of them succeeds. It’s only a matter of time until they do.”
Savin’s breath caught in his throat, his own eyes stinging with tears at the thought of someone succeeding in the mission Ravi had been given. His fingers curled inside his pockets, his hands forming fists as he tried to will himself to relax. Ravi wasn’t threatening anything. Ravi was just telling the truth. Slowly, he turned on his heel and pulled his hands free from his pockets. “Would you like anything to drink?” he asked, forcing his voice to remain steady even if his hands couldn’t. “I’m gonna need you to tell me everything you know about M, if I’m going to help you find out who he is.”
“I’m good, thanks,” Ravi said, a slight smile stretching across his face.
Savin nodded and resumed making his way towards the kitchen. When he came back, he held a glass of scotch in his hand.
He tried not to think of what it was he had just gotten himself into.
Next Chapter
Savin first noticed him on a Saturday.
He had just finished a long night of surgery. His scrubs were coated in blood and other bodily fluids, and his joints ached in ways he knew weren’t normal for a man his age, which forced him to move up the stairs at a slower pace than usual. At first, Savin thought he was seeing things when he noticed the tall man dressed in a sleek leather jacket and jeans leaning against the wall to his apartment building. Except when the two of them made eye contact, the taller man looked away first, lips pursed together in distaste and hands slipping inside of his pockets.
The next four nights, Savin would see the same man again. He’d notice additional details, like the man’s dark skin and long, thick hair pulled back in a ponytail. The man’s outfit would hardly change, mostly a rotation of plain t-shirts and jeans that went along with that sleek leather jacket. Sometimes, the man would be on his phone, cigarette dangling from his mouth. And again, he and Savin would make eye contact, some sort of understanding passing between them.
On Savin’s first night off in over a week, he grabbed his own pack of cigarettes and headed outside, his hand wrapped around his lighter tightly. The man stood where he had been for the past week, one leg bent with his foot pressed against the wall. His eyes widened a bit at the sight of Savin, but he then looked away, pulling his own pack of cigarettes out from his pocket.
“Wanna light?” the man asked Savin as he procured his own lighter. Savin shook his head, placing his own cigarette in his mouth.
“Got my own,” Savin said with a partial smile, holding up his own lighter. As he lit his cigarette and breathed in a heavy dose of smoke himself, he leaned against the wall as well, keeping a respectable distance from the man next to him.
For a few moments, the two stood next to each other in silence. Savin weighed his next words carefully, trying to determine which approach would work best. The man was obviously waiting for something -- or someone, right here, in this spot. “So, what is it that you’re waiting for, exactly?” he asked, clearing his throat.
The man flicked the cherry off his cigarette, glancing at Savin briefly. “Not waitin’ for nothing in particular. Just wanted to have a smoke. Got a problem with that?”
Savin snorted, tapping his own cigarette and watching as the ashes fell to the ground. “You don’t live here,” he said simply, giving the man his own sideways glance. “Haven’t ever seen you before this week -- and trust me, I’ve been living at these apartments for a while. I know practically everyone who lives here.”
“I just moved in,” the man said, his voice sharp and cold.
“I haven’t seen any moving trucks.”
The man pursed his lips together, studying Savin for a moment before shaking his head and looking away from him. “You pretty sharp, you know that?”
Savin gave him a rueful smile. “Kind of have to be, in my profession,” he murmured, taking another drag off his cigarette. The smoke burned his throat and soothed some of his nerves. He raked his free hand through his hair, pushing it out of his eyes before adjusting his glasses. “You’ve been hanging out here around my apartment building. Why?”
“Them stairs,” the man said, gesturing to their right. “Go just about anywhere, don’t they? Didn’t know which apartment I wanted.”
“Could have just followed me to find out which one,” Savin said without missing a beat.
The man beside him blinked, a hesitant smile breaking out on his face, revealing rather even, perfectly white teeth. “Guess I should introduce myself, then,” he said, snubbing out his cigarette on the wall and tossing it out onto the street. He offered Savin his now-free hand. “Ravi Diehl.”
“Savin Bates.” Savin slipped his own hand inside of Ravi’s, immediately noticing the roughness of Ravis palms. They shook briefly before Savin breathed in more smoke. “Though I think you already knew that.”
“Know you better as ‘Imperial Consort,’ to be honest,” Ravi said, shrugging his shoulders. He glanced up and down the street. “Might wanna go inside. Don’t wanna talk about this shit where we might be overheard.”
Savin winced. “Imperial Consort” reminded him too much of the life he was leaving behind. Reminded him that even though Jazz was back, that they hadn’t so much as spoken more than a handful of sentences to one another. He tossed his cigarette onto the ground and crushed it with his foot. “I prefer Dr. Bates,” he muttered, shoving his hands in his pockets. He ignored the chill that went through him. He didn’t say anything else as he turned on his heel and headed back towards his apartment.
As the two of them walked in silence, Savin wondered if he should alert the Imperial Guard. He was still technically married to the Emperor, after all. And Ravi, while civil so far, certainly knew something that may be of interest to the Empire. Why else would he get into contact with Savin?
Savin shook his head, clearing that thought away as he unlocked the door to his apartment. He let Ravi walk in first, who let out a low whistle at Savin’s barely furnished apartment. “Please, take a seat, Ravi.”
Ravi did as he was told, settling onto the couch and crossing one leg over the other. He glanced around the apartment once more, a slight frown on his face. “Ain’t got a whole lot here, do you?” he asked, raising an eyebrow.
Savin sat down in his arm chair and rested his hands against the arms of it. “Don’t need much when you’re hardly home,” he answered, shrugging his shoulder. Yet another silence overtook them for a moment before Savin leaned forward in his seat, placing his hands in his lap. “What’s so important that you had to come to me?” he asked, his voice quiet. He looked up at Ravi over the edge of his glasses. “And why me, while we’re at it?”
“Ain’t got anyone else I can go to with this,” Ravi said with a dismissive wave of his hand. “Could go to Blue, but -- I ain’t supposed to see him, again.”
“‘Blue’?” Savin asked, raising an eyebrow. His stomach twisted uncomfortably as Ravi gave him a pained look.
“Blue Eyes,” Ravi clarified, clearing his throat. His expression resumed its normal stoicism, but Savin saw the flash of regret and guilt in his eyes.
Savin’s eyes widened, realization dawning on him as he looked Ravi up and down, yet again. “You’re --”
“Yeah,” Ravi said, nodding his head. “You ain’t the only one he had to leave.”
Savin gave Ravi a wry smile. “I don’t think your situation with him was -- quite as dire as ours was,” he murmured. Tears welled up in his eyes for a moment as guilt and jealousy overwhelmed him. This was the man Jazz found while he was in hiding. This man, who was taller and much healthier than Savin. More attractive than Savin. Savin shook his head, trying to quell those thoughts as he best he could. There was no use in having them, not now, not when he and Jazz had no chance of reconciling their marriage.
“Sorry,” Ravi said after a moment, clearing his throat again. “Shouldn’t’ve mentioned that.”
It was Savin’s turn to give a dismissive wave of his hand. “It’s alright,” he said, clearing his own throat and swallowing his tears. “Why can’t you see him again?” Him. He. It was as though neither one of them could speak his name anymore.
Ravi frowned, turning his head away from Savin. He ran a hand over his tightly pulled back hair and sighed. “I --” He paused, his voice seeming to fail him for a moment. He then reached into his pocket, pulling out his wallet. “I got these orders,” he began again, his voice steady as he offered Savin a small piece of paper.
Savin blinked, plucking the paper from Ravi’s fingers. It had a barely legible typing on it, probably from weeks of being exposed to the elements of Ravi’s pockets. Despite the yellowing of the sheet of paper, Savin could make out two words. “Kill,” and the signature, “M.” Savin’s eyes widened, his mind filling in where the rest of the faded letters would be. “‘Kill Emperor Callahan,’” he muttered, looking up at Ravi over the edge of his glasses. “That’s what it says, right?”
Ravi nodded, taking the piece of paper back from Savin. “I got two more weeks before they come after me, instead, for not doin’ the job,” he explained, slipping the paper back in his wallet. He rested his arms on his knees, letting his hands dangle between them as he shook his head. “I got no idea what to fucking do. Can’t go to Blue, he ain’t supposed to see me again. Can’t tip off his Guard, M will fucking know. Can’t not just do the job, it’d cost me my damn life. Don’t wanna go on the fucking run. Been there, done that as a hitman-for-hire, and it’s exhausting.”
Savin nodded himself, leaning back in his seat and crossing his arms over his chest. He pursed his lips together and then sucked on his teeth as every bit of what Ravi said sunk in, word by word. “Who the hell is M?” he asked, his voice soft as he studied Ravi. “Do you have any idea who that is?”
“Never seen the man before, so I wouldn’t know,” Ravi said, sitting up straight. He mirrored Savin’s body language, crossing his own arms over his chest loosely and looking away from him. “No one’s ever seen ‘em. He just runs the whole damn Resistance from the background, givin’ us lowly peons orders from the shadows. If I knew who he was...”
“So you’re a member of the Resistance, then?” Savin asked, raising an eyebrow. “Are you sure you should even be seen with me, considering who I am?”
“Ain’t seen the Imperial Guard ‘round here in a couple of weeks,” Ravi said with a shrug of his shoulder. “Resistance spies are harder to spot, but they ain’t been around here, neither. Guess they realized Emperor Callahan ain’t coming to see you any time soon.”
Savin snorted, shaking his head for a moment before pushing his glasses back up the bridge of his nose. “Why’d you come to me?” he repeated. He felt as though his chest were beginning to cave in as he spoke his next words. “Jazz doesn’t want anything to do with me, not anymore.”
“I need your help,” Ravi answered, giving Savin a wan smile. “Help me figure out who the fuck M is before he puts a big red target on my fucking back, too.”
Savin laughed, shaking his head. “How the hell am I supposed to help with that?” he asked, pushing himself out of his chair. “I’m a surgeon, not a private detective, Mr. Diehl.”
“I know you ain’t, it’s just --” Ravi put his head in his hands, letting out an exasperated noise. “I ain’t got no where else to turn, Dr. Bates -- it’s either I kill Blue, or I die, that’s it. I’d rather not fucking die -- and I sure as hell ain’t killing Blue.”
The normally rather stoic man gave Savin a baleful look at that point, the edges of his eyes shimmering with tears. “Please. I ain’t ever begged liked this in my life. Please help me find this guy.”
“And then what?” Savin snapped, folding his arms over his chest yet again as he looked down on Ravi. “What’re you going to do if we do figure out who this ‘M’ guy is? Kill him?”
Ravi gave Savin a rueful smile. “That -- was kinda the plan, yeah,” he admitted, rubbing the back of his neck. “I got the reputation I do for a reason. Bastard won’t know what fucking hit him, when I’m through with ‘im.”
Savin opened his mouth to respond, but then just closed it and shook his head. This was the man Jazz had fallen for? “Tell me why I should help you,” he said after a moment, uncrossing his arms and slipping his hands inside his pockets. He walked around the couch and headed towards the kitchen. “You could just not do the job and go on the run, like you said.”
“Just ‘cause I didn’t do the job don’t mean Blue is safe,” Ravi called after him without even missing a beat. Savin’s footsteps faltered, and he came to a stop in the middle of the hallway, still within sight of Ravi. “M will just keep sendin’ assassin after assassin after Blue until one of them succeeds. It’s only a matter of time until they do.”
Savin’s breath caught in his throat, his own eyes stinging with tears at the thought of someone succeeding in the mission Ravi had been given. His fingers curled inside his pockets, his hands forming fists as he tried to will himself to relax. Ravi wasn’t threatening anything. Ravi was just telling the truth. Slowly, he turned on his heel and pulled his hands free from his pockets. “Would you like anything to drink?” he asked, forcing his voice to remain steady even if his hands couldn’t. “I’m gonna need you to tell me everything you know about M, if I’m going to help you find out who he is.”
“I’m good, thanks,” Ravi said, a slight smile stretching across his face.
Savin nodded and resumed making his way towards the kitchen. When he came back, he held a glass of scotch in his hand.
He tried not to think of what it was he had just gotten himself into.
Next Chapter