Fic: Blind Date
Title: Blind Date
Author Name: lady_razzle
Recipient: laylee86
Pairing: Jack/Ianto, Slight Ianto/OMC
Summary: It’s Ianto’s first solo field assignment. Jack is not best pleased.
Rating: PG
Disclaimer: Just borrowed.
Warnings: None
Word Count: 7,200 ish
Author's Notes: Set directly after KKBB. At the final cut, the dirty talk I had planned didn’t really go, but if you poke me after the reveal I’ll give you all the Janto filth you want. ;)
Beta: moblo413
The thing about working for Torchwood was that there was not the time to take a couple of weeks out to reconnect with your team, make them understand why you left them, or get them to believe you weren’t leaving them again.
You would be lucky to even have time to think about taking your favourite of them on the date you had spent the last six months hanging from a set of shackles and fantasising about (however lacklustre it had sounded when you actually had chance to propose the idea).
Aliens looking to mess with the Earth’s infrastructure had no respect for romance, it seemed to Jack.
Jack was not entirely correct.
#
“Well, when did all this get decided?” Jack exclaimed, most unhappy at the plan set before him. Gwen took a deep breath.
“Before your ex and his ugly mate turned up, we were in the middle of an investigation,” she said. “Six young men have gone missing in the last six months. No sign of foul play, no notes, no possessions taken.”
“Why is this our business?” Jack prompted.
“Because it’s weird and in Cardiff?” Owen interjected. Tosh ignored him, nudging her glasses back.
“Each disappearance coincided with a low-level burst of temporal energy,” she explained. “Almost like temporal static… Like someone turned on a radio for about five minutes. We made the connection after the fifth boy, and detected the spike on the sixth. By the time we got to the scene, there was nothing. There was no evidence anyone had ever been there. We don't even know that he was there, but the next day he was reported missing, just like the others.”
“Okay, so where does this, ‘Same Difference’ agency fit in?”
“Actually, they contacted us,” Ianto said. “Well, they got in touch with the police after they recognised two of the missing men. They were worried about their reputation; the last thing they wanted was a murderer using one of the country’s first men-only speed dating nights to pick up victims.”
“Which is, of course, what the police reckon is going on,” Gwen interjected. “If it wasn’t for the energy bursts, we’d have left them to it.”
“But instead, we’re going to throw an inexperienced, non-field trained team member at the problem and see if he lives the day?”
“Someone has to go in,” Gwen admonished.
“And I don’t play gay well,” Owen offered without apology.
“Then I’ll go!” Jack insisted. The team shared an awkward look. “What? I know I haven’t been around lately but I’m still your leader and I’m allowed to work, right?”
“It’s not that,” Tosh said delicately. “It’s just that… all the men who’ve gone missing are…a little less…”
“They’re sort of a type…” Gwen interjected. “You’re just not…”
“For Christ’s sake,” Owen spat. “You’re too old, mate. They’ve all been under 30.”
Jack folded his arms over his chest, opening and closing his mouth as he searched for a response. Ianto blinked slowly and, sensing the impending tantrum, took a few steps forward to take Jack’s full attention.
“Jack,” he said quietly. “I’ll be fine. We’ve all had to do more fieldwork since… since you left. And they’re single gay men. Not cannibals.”
Jack pouted, squeezing his fists to keep from reaching out for inappropriate touches.
“I just don’t want to see you hurt,” he said. “I only just got you… I only just got back.”
Ianto blinked slowly again and Jack cleared his throat loudly.
“Okay, fine,” Jack said. “But I want someone in your ear every minute.”
Ianto raised his eyebrow and Owen snorted but nobody disturbed the delicate peace by making the obvious innuendo.
“And no unnecessary risks,” Jack added, before stomping up to his office and leaving Ianto to breathe out at last.
#
It had been an age since Ianto had been on a date. It hadn’t occurred to him to imagine, ever, that Jack might want to actually date him, but it struck him as highly ironic that, since Jack had finally asked him out, Ianto would be going on about a dozen dates first. Still, he thought, no reason not to make an effort. He paired narrow-fitting comfortable jeans (snug around the backside) with a soft, V-neck dark green jumper and trainers that had seen much better days.
Tosh checked him out with a lack of shame befitting the friends that they had become, then went about wiring him for sound and vision.
“I noticed you’ve taken to calling Jack… well, Jack, since he got back,” she whispered after a few minutes, while checking the audio on his earpiece.
“He asked,” Ianto answered at normal volume. “I suppose ‘sir’ had gotten a bit odd, you know? Especially since… yeah, it doesn’t make sense anymore.”
Tosh gave him a long, calculating look, then nodded, breaking a smile.
“Okay, you’re about done,” she said. “All ready to knock ‘em dead?”
“Oh, sure,” he replied. “I’ll be irresistible. Maybe I’ll just channel a little Harkness for the evening.”
“Well, if we do that, we’ll never get you there,” Jack said, stepping into their space without apology. “Not that I’m objecting…”
“We had better be going,” Ianto interrupted. “Gwen, are you driving?”
Gwen opened her mouth to reply but nobody seemed in much of a mood to let anyone else speak at the moment.
“I’ll drive you,” Jack said firmly. A glance at Jack indicated the futility of argument. Ianto nodded.
“We’ll take my car,” he said. “It’s less conspicuous.”
Jack nodded and they made to leave. Gwen was hot in pursuit but a repeat of Jack’s earlier stern look stopped her in her tracks. Tosh hid a smirk behind her hand, and opened the door to the garage.
#
For all his insistence on their being left alone, Jack didn’t speak for most of the journey. They were turning the corner on their destination before Jack uttered a word.
“You know what you’re doing in there, right?” he asked, redundantly. “Talk, be nice. Get yourself noticed. Don’t give anything away and if anyone strikes you as suspicious, flag it with one of us. And just… don’t get hurt, or kidnapped. Or killed.”
“Okay, Jack,” Ianto said sympathetically. Jack’s hand found his arm as his own hand found the door handle.
“I haven’t kissed you,” Jack said. “Since I got back.” Ianto shot him a questioning look and Jack gave a huff of laughter. “It’s all I’ve thought about for a year and I haven’t done it yet.”
Comforted by the slump of Ianto’s shoulders and the enchanted, longing look on Ianto’s face, he was a tad bemused by Ianto’s reply.
“I can’t,” Ianto said, shaking his head. “Not outside a speed dating meeting. Look a little suspicious, don’t you think?”
“Yeah,” Jack said, radiating disappointment. “You’re right.”
Ianto’s eyes darted toward the entrance.
“We could be chaste,” he offered. “Can you be chaste?”
Jack cracked a smile, small but genuine, and shook his head.
“I’ll keep,” he said.
Ianto’s eyes flickered from Jack’s eyes to his lips and back again. Jack’s hand slid from his arm, to his hand, and their fingers found one another. Jack leaned in toward him, almost nothing but just enough to make the upholstery squeak.
“They’re going to start,” Ianto said. One more glance at Jack’s lips and he pulled his hands away, opened the door and stepped out in one fluid movement. He didn’t look back as he walked to the converted church that was the ironic setting for such an unconventional meeting. He breathed out heavily.
“Everything okay, Ianto?” Tosh prompted in his ear. “Your heart rate is up.” There was a definite edge of amusement to her voice.
“I hope this alien goes for the horny teenager look,” Ianto whispered. Tosh’s laughter echoed in his ear as he greeted the doorman and was shown where to register.
#
Jack sat outside with his jaw tense for all of two minutes before speeding back to the hub. He jiggled impatiently as the various doors took their time letting him in.
“Has it started yet?” he asked, tossing his coat over a chair and joining the gathering at Tosh’s workstation. He clicked his fingers in Owen’s face to annoy him out of his chair while Tosh explained.
“He’s registered and got himself a beer.” She pointed to the screen, where Ianto was looking up toward the stage. A kind-looking woman in her thirties was leaning on the edge of the stage, consulting a clipboard.
“That’s Stephanie. She’s the one who called the police.”
“That’s why she looks so nervous?”
“I imagine so,” Tosh replied. “She’ll ring that bell in a couple of minutes and the guys standing up will find their first ‘date’. They’ve all got numbers and scorecards,” she added with a hint of amusement.
“I wonder how the teaboy will score,” Owen said loudly. On the screen, Ianto looked down and scratched an invisible mark off the card with an extended middle finger. Jack snorted.
The bell rang and Ianto took a steadying breath, making his way toward one of the first tables, where a bright smile and a pair of big brown eyes welcomed him.
“Number 2?” Ianto asked, by way of introduction. The team watched the man give Ianto a sly appraising look and a welcoming raised eyebrow.
“Number 17? Pleased to meet you,” came the American-accented reply. Jack squinted at the screen.
“I don’t like him,” Jack said.
#
Just over an hour and ten dates later, Gwen was getting tetchy. She was supposed to be making notes on each of the dates and marking down which of them seemed dodgy. So far, Jack hadn’t let a single man past without insisting she flag him as a risk.
“What can you possibly have against his one?” she whispered. Tosh had threatened to send them away if they couldn’t pipe down. (Half of Ianto’s score sheet was covered with scribbled pleas for quiet and Owen had already been banished for repeatedly pointing out how good Ianto was at chatting up men.)
Ianto was currently talking to a sweet-looking Indie kid in his second year at Cardiff Uni, who had only come out six months previously and had no idea how to get started.
“He’s manipulative!” Jack said. A sharp look from Tosh and he lowered his voice. “All that crap about inexperience and wanting someone to ‘be a friend as well as a lover’? I was using those lines when I was 12 years old.”
“I’m sure you were,” Gwen said noncommittally. “But he isn’t you, is he? You just don’t like him because he’s cute.”
Jack scoffed.
“He’s not that cute.”
“Ianto’s given him a 4,” Tosh dropped in.
“Out of 5?” Jack exclaimed. Ianto cleared his throat pointedly through the speakers and Jack pouted. Thirty seconds later the bell rang twice, signalling the end of the five minutes and the start of a ten-minute ‘half-time’ when people could go to the bathroom and the bar, powder their noses and whatnot.
“Well, I do hope nobody is going to watch me piss,” Ianto said under his breath as he walked toward the back of the bar. Tosh grinned and assured him he was safe, switching off the visual. She span her chair around to face Jack, who looked just as disappointed to be denied the chance to watch Ianto pee. Once upon a time that might have struck her as a little gross, but she knew Jack too well now.
“You know he’s not really going on any of these dates,” she asked. Jack gave her a look. She jerked her head toward the screen. “It’s work. Most of them wouldn’t even be his type,” she added pointedly. “So sit on your jealousy and let us get on with it, or you can go watch in your office, okay?”
With that, she span her chair back around, turning away from Jack’s surprised expression and turning the volume back up.
”It’s only a tourist information office,” Ianto was saying. “Not the most exciting work on the planet, I suppose, but it pays the bills and I get to get enthusiastic about my country, which is really great.”
“Have they started again?” Gwen asked. “That wasn’t ten minutes.”
Tosh flicked on the visuals and Ianto blinked. He was at the bar, chatting to the brown-eyed American from the very first date.
“Well, I think it’s awesome,” he replied. “You’re doing something you enjoy and you’re making people happy. I love this city, man; you’d have no trouble selling it to me. Hell, I think you could sell manure to a man with no garden, what with that accent of yours.”
Ianto laughed in a way that was very nearly flirtatious and Jack bristled from head to toe. He had never seemed more pleased to hear a bell ring. The American stranger rolled his eyes.
“Between you and me,” he said conspiratorially. “I’m not sure there’s any point going on. I’ve already been on nine more dates than I needed.”
Ianto laughed again and Jack had a horrible feeling that he was biting his lip coyly.
“Well, we should still stay the course,” he said. “It’s only polite.”
“Such a gentleman,” the American said. “I like you more all the time.”
Jack reached over Gwen and turned the ‘X’ that marked him as suspicious into a large, well-scratched asterix.
#
Ianto’s information centre had to have the most random opening hours of any of its comparators.
Normal hours were nominally observed. However, sometimes it would open on Sunday and sometimes it wouldn’t. In Jack’s absence, it had been open every day, because Ianto didn’t want to be at home on his own.
And still he was only able to keep it open when the world didn’t need saving, his colleagues didn’t need coffee or when Tosh and Gwen were actually working and he wasn’t waylaid for technical conversations and/or wedding planning. Tosh had been delighted to discover that he was actually surprisingly intelligent and quite adept at lateral thinking. Gwen had been delighted to discover that he had a profound appreciation of tailoring and that his organisational skills were easily translated across to the arrangement of nuptials. They were both a little ashamed not to have noticed before but they had certainly made up for it since.
Now Jack was back and there was the potential to return to some sort of normal routine. Ianto had just assumed he would go back to his role as it had been before. He was pleasantly surprised and only mildly inconvenienced to discover that Gwen had insisted that not be the case. Ianto was to stay a valuable member of the field team and his talents were not to be wasted. Ianto’s chest had puffed out despite himself.
That all being true, he actually really liked running the desk, reading things about Wales that he never knew before and, once in a while, jumping out of his skin when someone actually did come in with a query. Today he was at his leisure in his little office and even more surprised than usual to receive a visitor, at quarter to five on a Monday afternoon.
“Did you know there are six tourist information offices in Cardiff? Six!” The visitor exclaimed, solely amusement in his voice. “I didn’t know there was that much to see in Cardiff!”
Ianto smiled widely.
“Centre of the universe, is Cardiff,” he explained, not completely joking. “The gateway into enticing you into the rest of Wales, see?”
“Ah,” the visitor acknowledged. “I missed all that in the other offices. I’ve only been to two this afternoon, and both times I just asked them to point me in the direction of a smart, helpful, handsome young man called Ianto. They weren’t so impressed in the Millennium Centre,” he said sadly.
“Oh, aye,” Ianto said. “I’m the shameful, backward, country cousin. I don’t hold with their strip lighting and their accurate maps.”
“I like your way better,” came the reply. The American leaned over the desk in front of Ianto, folding his arms and leaning on one upturned hand. “So, how would you rate my stalking?” he asked.
“You’re very thorough,” Ianto admitted, with barely a pause. “You really could have waited for the dating agency to set us up.”
“That was taking too long,” Number 2, whose name Ianto knew was Ewan, explained. “Besides, I didn’t know if you’d marked me as a yes.”
“Course I did,” Ianto said, colouring a little. He had marked everyone as a yes, as it happened, since the primary purpose of this activity was a sting. He would have anyway, he realised. He had to flirt a little, now, to continue the investigation.
“I don’t suppose Cardiff could function with only five tourist information offices for the rest of the day?” Ewan prompted. “All this stalking has worked up quite a thirst. I feel a little hunger creeping up on me, now we come to mention it.”
Ianto nodded.
“Let me call my boss,” he said, his voice cracking almost imperceptibly and hell, if that wasn’t guilt right there. He picked up the phone. “Just to be on the safe side.”
Down in the hub, the phone on Jack’s desk rang; the special tone for internal calls. He picked it up and made a curious noise into the handset.
“Hello, Jack?” Ianto asked. Jack’s brow creased and he sat up straight.
“Ianto, are you okay?” he asked, his body tensing with the immediate expectation of trouble.
“Fine, fine,” Ianto answered. “Slow afternoon, I was wondering if it was okay for me to knock off early? A friend wants to take me out for a drink.”
Jack lurched forward to his computer and pulled up the CCTV for the office.
“Um, yeah,” he said vaguely as he waited for the feed to load. “Oh, shit! Him? You’re not even wired up!”
“No,” Ianto said lightly. “But you can always get me if you need me.” Ianto touched his ear, assuming Jack was watching and subtly reminding him that he was wearing his earpiece.
“Be careful,” Jack said darkly. “Don’t trust him, don’t be alone with him and don’t touch him.”
Ianto let the slightest smile twitch the corner of his lip.
“I’ll do my best,” Ianto said. “See you soon,” he added lightly, resisting the temptation to say something suspiciously reassuring or affectionate and hung up.
“All set,” Ianto said. “I’ll just lock up.”
Down in the hub, Jack burst from his office and the rest of the team jumped to attention.
“Ianto is leaving the building with one of the dates from last night,” he all but yelled. “Tosh, we don’t have visual so you get on every camera in the city; I want you in their pocket. Gwen, listen in to Ianto’s audio, I don’t know what we’re looking for but find it.”
With that, he slammed back into his office, leaving his team to share pointed looks before following their instructions. Owen came to sit behind Tosh, muttering quietly about wanting to witness the monumental event of Ianto on an actual date. Tosh suspected he just didn’t want to be left out, but allowed him to remain as long as he shut up and didn't get in her way.
Jack paced across his office, in the faint dent that would one day, in the distant future, better resemble a trench.
He glanced repeatedly at the screen, watching the two men walking along the waterfront. He scowled as they laughed, as Ianto seemed to flirt too easily. Now Jack came to look at him, this Ewan was quite the figure of a man. A little taller than Ianto; nice looking, funny. Jack wouldn’t usually go for his type because, for all his seeming vanity, Jack didn’t go for men who were this much like him. He narrowed his eyes in irritation. And this stranger was making Ianto the centre of his universe, less than 24 hours since their original meeting.
“So I’m looking at a younger, more attentive version of myself,” Jack said out loud. “Fuck!”
“What’s funny?” Ewan asked and Jack realised Ianto had laughed, seemingly without provocation.
“Nothing, sorry,” Ianto said. “I was just remembering something my boss said. It’s not that funny.”
They returned to their conversation and Jack considered his options. The two men turned into a bar and could no longer be picked up on the usual CCTV. Tosh was fiddling around trying to find the internal CCTV but so far she only had the doorway cameras and it was looking likely that that was all they had. Ianto volunteered to grab a table by the window while Ewan went to the bar.
“So, you can hear me?” Jack observed, quietly, as soon as the men had parted. “I’m ordering you not to get too close,” he went on. “I won’t have it.”
Ianto snorted quietly.
“What’s too close?” he asked.
“Don’t you touch him,” Jack said. “You see he keeps his hands to himself or I’ll tear them off and eat them.” Before Ianto could react to the slightly odd image, he went on. “Then I’ll lick you clean.”
“Promise?” Ianto asked.
“Corona,” Ewan announced, and Jack set his jaw.
Ewan seemed to be reluctant to discuss what had brought him to Cardiff, only that he had been here for six months and he liked it very much. He did, however, seem genuinely interested in hearing about Ianto, and talking about all the things that made him happy. He had no qualms about talking openly about the speed dating service, either.
“I think it’s great!” Ewan exclaimed. “I can’t imagine any better way to meet someone. You walk in; every person there is looking for a date. You don’t have to worry about finding out if they’re gay, whether they’re single; it cuts out so much of the awkward beginnings. All you have to worry about is if you fancy the person opposite you and if they fancy you. Anything else you can work out after.”
“I see what you mean,” Ianto agreed. “My last relationship, it took me a year to work out if I was even gay.”
Ewan laughed and, even through the windows, from this distance, Jack could see both of the girls shiver. He did have a very nice laugh; it was uncluttered and genuine.
“I take it you worked it out?” he prompted.
Ianto breathed laughter.
“I worked out that it doesn’t matter what sex someone is or how old they are, or where they come from. If you’re attracted to someone, you might as well just go with it. And if you’re in love with someone, gender’s a particularly pathetic thing to let get in the way.”
There was a pause, during which Jack didn’t breathe.
“I love that,” Ewan volunteered.
“Oh, I really hope you’re talking about me,” Jack said. “I hope I turned you. I know nobody else ever put their...”
Ianto jerked unexpectedly, yelping as he tried to interrupt Jack’s thought, and upsetting the table, spilling half a bottle of beer in Ewan’s lap.
“What did I say?” Jack asked as Ianto groaned.
“If you wanted a wet pants competition, you only had to ask,” Ewan said with amusement.
“Oh, fuck it, I am so sorry,” Ianto sputtered, pulling out a handkerchief and jumping to pat at Ewan’s crotch.
“It’s okay,” Ewan said, smiling widely. “My hotel is around the corner, literally,” he said. “I can get changed. I feel a little underdressed anyway, to be honest.”
Ianto stopped rubbing at Ewan’s pants and blushed.
“Okay,” he said. “I really am sorry.”
“Come on,” Ewan said, smiling and extending a hand to Ianto. “Do all men make you this jumpy or is it just me?”
Ianto laughed politely and very carefully didn’t answer.
Jack wrenched his office door open and looked down at his team.
“Ianto is going back to this asshole’s hotel. Get them back on the CCTV, I want to know exactly where they are!”
“Like I wasn’t already,” Tosh grumbled as soon as the door had slammed back into place. “This guy’s like, the least scary alien we’ve ever seen.”
Jack’s door banged open again and Gwen winced.
“You guys can’t hear my side of the conversation, right?” he asked. “When I’m talking to Ianto?”
“No, just Ianto and Ewan,” Gwen said pointedly.
“Right!” Jack said, backing up again.
“What was all that about Ianto’s last relationship?” Gwen wondered aloud. “I mean, Lisa was a woman, right? She always was?”
“Hell yes, she was,” Owen chimed in. “I did her autopsy. She wasn’t a cyber-ladyboy.”
Ianto cleared his throat very loudly and Owen’s mouth clicked shut. Speaking of Lisa without respect was very much on the ‘pain of death’ list of things to do. “He’s probably just making it up,” Owen added quietly. “For the part,” he specified for the girls’ still irritated faces. “I think his undercover skills are actually quite accomplished.”
Jack would have been too preoccupied to enjoy the unintentional innuendo, had he heard it, as Ianto had just reached Ewan’s hotel. “I’ve never been in the Angel Hotel before,” Ianto said, and Jack smiled to realise he was letting them know precisely where he was, as subtly as possible. There was the sound of a lift door shutting and Ianto asked, “What floor did we want?”
“Four,” Ewan specified. A few moments of lift music later and they were stepping out. “This way, number 83,” Ewan guided him. “So,” Ewan said as the door clicked open. “I’ve got you in my room and in a minute, I’m about to lose my pants. You’re a quick worker, Ianto Jones.”
Ianto snorted.
“God, you don’t half remind me of my boss,” he said. Jack bristled.
“Is that okay?” Ewan asked, a little vulnerability in his usually playful tone.
“Yeah,” Ianto said. “He’s not so bad.”
“You can call me sir, if you like,” Ewan said, his voice clearer than before.
“Tempting,” Ianto observed. “But perhaps unwise. That whole area is a little complicated.”
“But tempting,” Ewan said, his voice little over a whisper and Jack was out of his seat, his heart in his throat. “I want to kiss you,” Ewan said. “Is that okay?”
In reality, Ewan was standing so close to Ianto that it would be the work of a lean to bring their lips into contact. Ianto breathed out slowly, buying time as he contemplated the repercussions. He gave the slightest hint of a nod.
“Don’t you kiss him!” Jack yelled into the comm. The team couldn’t hear him over the receiver, but they all turned at the sound of Jack yelling in his office. Ianto jerked a little and would have moved away but it was too late. Sufficient permission had been given and Ewan kissed him.
The rift didn’t open. The world didn’t move and Ianto wasn’t vaporised. It was just a kiss. But it was soft and just barely audible to each member of the Torchwood team. Jack kicked his chair across his office, where it hit a glass panel and came shooting back to slam against his desk.
Ianto pulled out of the kiss and sighed.
“Nice,” he said, his voice quiet and heavy. “Why don’t you change your trousers; I’m just going to use the bathroom.”
“Okay,” Ewan replied, sounding pleasantly breathless himself. “Don’t be too long,” he added.
“God, that was romantic,” Gwen observed, as if to herself. Tosh was nodding. Jack counted to five and started yelling.
“What the hell did you think you were doing?” he shouted into the comm. “I told you not to kiss him! You could have been devoured, or possessed! That might be how they disappear. One kiss and you’re lost!”
“It was just a kiss, Jack,” Ianto replied, whispering and sounding quite calm. “He’s not an alien. He’s just a nice guy. He’s not going to eat my head or assimilate me. I think he just wants to go out with me. Shocking, I know. Tosh? Can you give my mobile a call in a couple of minutes; I need to beg off the rest of the evening without seeming rude.”
“Oh, you’re not even going to put out?” Owen asked, sounding disappointed. Tosh expected to turn around and see him with popcorn. “Cocktease.”
Jack was so relieved that this ‘date’ was almost over that he didn’t even mind Owen's teasing.
“And then what?”
He could almost hear Ianto shrug.
“That’s up to you, isn’t it?” Ianto suggested.
“Ianto?” Ewan’s voice was muffled by the door. “Can I show you something?”
“Don’t you pull out your…” Jack’s objection was interrupted by the telltale crackle of a comm being removed.
“Jack?” Gwen asked carefully. “If Ewan moved here six months ago, why is he staying in a hotel?”
And that was all Jack needed. He didn’t hear Owen’s suggestion that Ewan was married and looking to score some teaboy action. He was two minutes out of the hub when Tosh’s message came though that she had tried to call Ianto and had no response. Less than a minute later, Gwen’s panicked voice announced that the energy spike was back, centred on the fourth floor of the Angel Hotel. Jack ran every red light that remained.
Almost precisely six minutes since he had left the hub, the doorframe of room 483, the Angel Hotel, splintered under the force of a panicking Jack Harkness and his ready-drawn gun. Ewan raised an eyebrow, but left his hands at his sides.
“That’s him, is it?” he asked casually.
“That’s him,” Ianto confirmed.
“That’s me,” Jack said, his jaw tight. “Who am I?” he asked, sounding near-terrified, glancing between the two of them like he expected Ewan to launch forward at any moment and swallow Ianto whole. “And what is that?” he cried, pointing his gun at the quivering mess in the centre of the room.
“That’s my home,” Ewan explained. “My name is, in fact, Ewan, more or less. And you are Jack.” He nodded toward Ianto. “An anchor,” Ewan said.
Ianto turned to Jack.
“Ewan is an alien,” he said, and there was apology in his voice. “His race was almost wiped out by a disease.”
“There are only a few of us left,” Ewan explained. “116, to be exact.”
“I’m sorry,” Jack said, compassionate enough but not enough to lower his gun.
“We live on,” Ewan said, nodding in thanks. “It was some time ago. Most of those I love were spared. However, we crave companionship,” he said, quietly adding, “love, and sex,” with his head held high. “And our world is a beautiful, lush place, full of life and space, millennia of art and culture to preserve, all that must live on! We wish to rebuild our population.”
“116 is enough to start to rebuild, surely,” Jack said. Ewan nodded.
“The immunity is genetic,” Ewan explained. “Those I loved were spared because they are all in my family.” Jack made a face. “Quite,” Ewan said. “Not only as morally unacceptable to us as it is to you, but also an ill-advised genetic plan.”
“So why us?” Jack said. “Why our young men?”
“They don’t know if the disease is gone,” Ianto said. “Humans, it seems, are naturally tolerant to infection.”
“We believe our lineage might have been touched by human... interaction at some point in our ancestry. And there’s our physical similarity. And, besides, we like you,” he said, winking at Ianto, who smiled at him.
“So, you just kidnap young men and what, force your women on them?” Jack said, his brow tightly knotted.
“I am a woman,” Ewan said. Jack snorted disbelief. “In a way,” Ewan went on. “We are hermaphroditic. Physically, one may look like either of your typical genders, but fundamentally we have no gender identity. My brothers and I find the male form appealing. We wish to carry the offspring.”
“Have you done that before?” Jack asked.
“No,” Ewan replied.
“It’s a bitch,” Jack warned.
“So I hear,” Ewan concurred. “We really don’t kidnap anyone. We show them our paradise and, if they wish to come with us…” he looked at Ianto longingly. “They are so very welcome.”
Ianto lifted his eyes sorrowfully to meet Ewan’s, then he turned to look at Jack.
“Don’t go,” Jack said, without relaxing his brow. “Please.”
Ianto shook his head.
“I’m not going,” he confirmed. Ewan deflated.
“It was worth one last go,” Ewan said, resignedly. “It seems I arrived just a little too late to capture Ianto’s attention. He had a better offer.”
Jack’s gun had gradually descended and he glanced at it now, where it rested against his thigh.
“You did?” he asked, too anxious to hope he understood.
Ianto smiled shyly.
“Dinner,” he shrugged. “A movie?”
“Really?” Jack asked, incredulous. Ianto gaped at him.
“Do you want me to go?” he asked, getting to his feet. “Fuck, Jack, if you weren’t serious, tell me now, because the idea of that date was remarkably fucking exciting for me! Which is pathetic, now I come to say it!” he added, irritably.
“I did mean it,” Jack said quietly. “Definitely. I’ve been thinking about it for months. Just like that damn kiss I’ve been waiting for. But you… you could archive his entire planet! You’d give up paradise for a date? With this unreliable bastard?”
Ianto nodded.
“I reckon you must have hurt him,” Ewan interjected as Jack did a good impression of a goldfish. “But he loves you anyway.” Ianto’s eyes slid away from Jack’s and he coloured, despite himself. “Either you’re quite the man or he’s quite the fool.”
“Both,” Jack and Ianto answered as one. Ianto strode forward and took Ewan’s hands, ignoring Jack’s flinch.
“I am so sorry,” Ianto said. “I didn’t want to lead you on but we really did think there was a genuine threat. We didn’t know you were just…”
“On the pull?” Ewan answered cheekily. “It’s okay, Ianto. It really is. Actually, it’s been a pleasure to meet you; I wouldn’t take it back. I’m not in love with you yet, I just… I know I could have been, if you’d come.” There was no implication in his voice, no subtle way of imploring him to reconsider. “Besides,” Ewan said, squeezing Ianto’s hands, “I’ve got three months to get over you. It would take him a lot longer, I’m sure,” he said, indicating Jack.
“What, are you just giving up?” Jack asked, curling his lip a little at the idea that a relatively small blow to the ego would see him off. Ianto and Ewan both raised their eyebrows at him. “Not on him!” Jack added, stepping forward and all but snatching Ianto’s hand away from Ewan’s. “He’s very much mine, thanks.” Ianto couldn’t help but smile to himself with more than a little satisfaction. “But there’s lots more men out there! Stay and find yourself another!”
“I can’t,” Ewan said. “Our windows only last for three days at a time and I have to be on the other side to program a new one. If I go through, resetting my generator takes about three months. But if I let this one shut, I can’t get home at all. That’s why the speed dating is so great!” he said enthusiastically, and Jack was reminded of the Doctor for a moment. “You can meet someone, get to know them, then spend the next couple of days stalking the hell out of them. We’re a little empathic,” he explained. “It helps. Other travellers have kept their options open and pursued more than one on each visit, before choosing who to invite. I…” he opened his mouth, caught Ianto’s look and shrugged, deciding against saying what had been in his head. “I wish we had time to court for longer, but if you try and date a guy for three days every three months they tend to think something’s very wrong.”
“I hope you do find someone,” Ianto said. “Next time you come. I could help you out, you know, run background checks…”
“I thought you worked in tourist information,” Ewan said knowingly. Ianto shut his mouth.
“Can you do me a favour,” Jack asked suddenly. “If I accept that you’re not taking these boys against their will, could you just see that they leave some sort of note? It would make life a lot easier if we didn’t have young gay men disappearing without trace.”
“Certainly,” Ewan said. “We’ve been so caught up in romance we forgot the people left behind. I’ll see if anyone who’s already come has messages, too, and bring them with me next time."
“That would be brilliant,” Ianto said. “Just so long as they know what they’re getting into.”
“Do you?” Ewan said pointedly, before winking and making his way over to the ‘window’ that was, it seemed, controlled by what looked like an ordinary remote control. He looked up at Jack. “Can I look him up for a coffee, at least, if I’ve got the time? I promise not to kidnap him.”
Jack shrugged with feigned nonchalance.
“I’m not the boss of him,” he said, causing Ianto to scrunch up his nose in confusion.
“Yes, you are,” he pointed out. Jack made a face and shrugged. Ewan laughed a little and pressed a button on the remote that widened the aperture.
“One last thing. Why do you have an American accent?” Jack asked.
“Slightly empathic,” Ewan reminded them, one foot in his own world and one in the hotel. He grinned. “I got the feeling he’d like it,” he said, nodding at Ianto and winking. Ianto rolled his eyes and steadily avoided Jack’s gaze and wide grin. Ewan took a breath and with a final touch of his fingertips to his eyebrow, very nearly a salute, he stepped through his window and closed it behind himself.
Jack and Ianto stood in the empty room and let the not-wholly comfortable silence reign for half a minute or so. Eventually, Ianto sighed and turned toward the door. Jack’s hand on his arm stopped him before he made it two steps.
“Where are you off?” Jack asked, an odd vulnerability in his expression.
“Back to work,” Ianto said. “At the least, we need to write this up.”
Jack shook his head and stepped into Ianto’s space.
“You didn’t leave me,” he said, still sounding a tad bemused. “You gorgeous idiot.”
“I don’t know about gorgeous,” Ianto said, smiling faintly. He didn’t seem inclined to argue the second point and Jack breathed laughter, his arm sliding around Ianto’s waist.
“I want my kiss,” he said, as desperate as he was determined. “Now, if I may.”
Ianto nodded very slightly, licking his lips and staring at Jack’s mouth with hooded eyes.
“You have waited very patiently,” he said.
“I have,” Jack agreed, his other hand cradling Ianto’s cheek. “And he…” their eyes met and whatever Jack was going to say, be it tease or gentle reprimand, suddenly didn’t matter at all. He shook his head minutely and smiled softly. “So have you,” he concluded, nudging Ianto’s nose so his head tilted back just a touch, before letting his eyes slide closed and pressing the gentlest, most brief kiss to the tip of Ianto’s slight pout.
It was Ianto who took the initiative, then, taking a breath and opening his mouth. Jack didn’t need any more encouragement, wrapping his arms tightly around Ianto in the perfect, all-encompassing fashion that was unique to a man of his passion and figure. Ianto dissolved into him, melting into the warm, comfortable embrace and bucking up into the kiss. Their tongues battled, sharing heat as they grabbed at each other.
Their mouths parted, at last, and they froze an inch or so apart, breathing into one another as they caught their senses.
“Well,” Ianto whispered. “Was it worth the wait?”
Jack opened his mouth to speak, then licked his lips and let his eyelids dip.
“Yeah,” he whispered. “Oh, yeah.”
And with that, their lips met again, a slow kiss, becoming a hungry kiss, becoming Ianto’s arse in Jack’s hands and Ianto’s back against the nearest wall.
“So, this room is paid for,” Ianto said when Jack released his reddened lips and started assaulting his neck with wide, wet kisses. “We really might as well make use of it.”
“You read my mind,” Jack said, grinning predatorily. “Although,” he said, his face falling. “No,” he said, letting Ianto’s thigh drop from where it had been clamped around his hip. "I wanted to do this properly. A date, remember? I was going to court you.”
Ianto smiled fondly, his eyebrows rising in pleased surprise. He lifted his hand to the back of Jack’s neck and pulled him into a soft kiss, less demanding but no less emotional than the last.
“Court me after,” he whispered.
Jack rolled his eyes in mock exasperation.
“If you insist,” he said. He had Ianto backed onto the bed in an inhumanly short amount of time, and they set about stripping each other with the kind of urgency and unwillingness to go long without kisses that hindered as much as it helped.
“By the way,” Jack said, propped up on his hands, looming promisingly over Ianto. “No more dating, okay? Apart from me, that is...” He huffed, trying to reclaim his point. “Please don’t date anyone else. This old heart can’t take the competition.”
Ianto smirked and tilted his chin up, inviting another kiss.
“What competition?” he whispered.
Jack grinned like the cat who was about to lap up every scrap of the cream. And Project Mutual Nudity regained momentum.
#
Conversation between the remaining members of the Torchwood team had been quite animated for some time, but for the last couple of minutes, the conversation had dried up and there was a certain awkward atmosphere between them all.
“You know,” Owen said, sitting in Gwen’s passenger seat and messing with the lock on his med kit. “I think the threat’s passed.”
“Yeah, yeah, he was all right, wasn’t he?” Gwen agreed. She started the car again, half turning to Owen, a little flustered, and adding, “Really nice bloke, actually. Just a little impulsive.”
“Just as well we sent the nice, predictable teaboy in after him, then,” Owen said.
Gwen shot the windscreen the shortest of broad, false smiles, which died as soon as it was born, along with the breath of fake laughter.
“Tosh?” she prompted, the acknowledgement from the hub a vague ‘hmm’ in her ear. “Any progress in turning off Jack’s comm?”
“Sorry,” Tosh replied. “Think it must have been the energy from Ewan’s gate thing. I’m trying, but it’s on one way broadcast. We might have to wait until he takes it off himself.”
Gwen shifted uncomfortably and Owen snorted.
“Didn’t know Ianto had it in him,” he observed, enjoying Gwen’s discomfort as the voices coming through the airwaves became more animated and less eloquent. “Will soon, though,” he added.
Gwen scowled, and cranked up Radio 4.
The End.
Author Name: lady_razzle
Recipient: laylee86
Pairing: Jack/Ianto, Slight Ianto/OMC
Summary: It’s Ianto’s first solo field assignment. Jack is not best pleased.
Rating: PG
Disclaimer: Just borrowed.
Warnings: None
Word Count: 7,200 ish
Author's Notes: Set directly after KKBB. At the final cut, the dirty talk I had planned didn’t really go, but if you poke me after the reveal I’ll give you all the Janto filth you want. ;)
Beta: moblo413
The thing about working for Torchwood was that there was not the time to take a couple of weeks out to reconnect with your team, make them understand why you left them, or get them to believe you weren’t leaving them again.
You would be lucky to even have time to think about taking your favourite of them on the date you had spent the last six months hanging from a set of shackles and fantasising about (however lacklustre it had sounded when you actually had chance to propose the idea).
Aliens looking to mess with the Earth’s infrastructure had no respect for romance, it seemed to Jack.
Jack was not entirely correct.
#
“Well, when did all this get decided?” Jack exclaimed, most unhappy at the plan set before him. Gwen took a deep breath.
“Before your ex and his ugly mate turned up, we were in the middle of an investigation,” she said. “Six young men have gone missing in the last six months. No sign of foul play, no notes, no possessions taken.”
“Why is this our business?” Jack prompted.
“Because it’s weird and in Cardiff?” Owen interjected. Tosh ignored him, nudging her glasses back.
“Each disappearance coincided with a low-level burst of temporal energy,” she explained. “Almost like temporal static… Like someone turned on a radio for about five minutes. We made the connection after the fifth boy, and detected the spike on the sixth. By the time we got to the scene, there was nothing. There was no evidence anyone had ever been there. We don't even know that he was there, but the next day he was reported missing, just like the others.”
“Okay, so where does this, ‘Same Difference’ agency fit in?”
“Actually, they contacted us,” Ianto said. “Well, they got in touch with the police after they recognised two of the missing men. They were worried about their reputation; the last thing they wanted was a murderer using one of the country’s first men-only speed dating nights to pick up victims.”
“Which is, of course, what the police reckon is going on,” Gwen interjected. “If it wasn’t for the energy bursts, we’d have left them to it.”
“But instead, we’re going to throw an inexperienced, non-field trained team member at the problem and see if he lives the day?”
“Someone has to go in,” Gwen admonished.
“And I don’t play gay well,” Owen offered without apology.
“Then I’ll go!” Jack insisted. The team shared an awkward look. “What? I know I haven’t been around lately but I’m still your leader and I’m allowed to work, right?”
“It’s not that,” Tosh said delicately. “It’s just that… all the men who’ve gone missing are…a little less…”
“They’re sort of a type…” Gwen interjected. “You’re just not…”
“For Christ’s sake,” Owen spat. “You’re too old, mate. They’ve all been under 30.”
Jack folded his arms over his chest, opening and closing his mouth as he searched for a response. Ianto blinked slowly and, sensing the impending tantrum, took a few steps forward to take Jack’s full attention.
“Jack,” he said quietly. “I’ll be fine. We’ve all had to do more fieldwork since… since you left. And they’re single gay men. Not cannibals.”
Jack pouted, squeezing his fists to keep from reaching out for inappropriate touches.
“I just don’t want to see you hurt,” he said. “I only just got you… I only just got back.”
Ianto blinked slowly again and Jack cleared his throat loudly.
“Okay, fine,” Jack said. “But I want someone in your ear every minute.”
Ianto raised his eyebrow and Owen snorted but nobody disturbed the delicate peace by making the obvious innuendo.
“And no unnecessary risks,” Jack added, before stomping up to his office and leaving Ianto to breathe out at last.
#
It had been an age since Ianto had been on a date. It hadn’t occurred to him to imagine, ever, that Jack might want to actually date him, but it struck him as highly ironic that, since Jack had finally asked him out, Ianto would be going on about a dozen dates first. Still, he thought, no reason not to make an effort. He paired narrow-fitting comfortable jeans (snug around the backside) with a soft, V-neck dark green jumper and trainers that had seen much better days.
Tosh checked him out with a lack of shame befitting the friends that they had become, then went about wiring him for sound and vision.
“I noticed you’ve taken to calling Jack… well, Jack, since he got back,” she whispered after a few minutes, while checking the audio on his earpiece.
“He asked,” Ianto answered at normal volume. “I suppose ‘sir’ had gotten a bit odd, you know? Especially since… yeah, it doesn’t make sense anymore.”
Tosh gave him a long, calculating look, then nodded, breaking a smile.
“Okay, you’re about done,” she said. “All ready to knock ‘em dead?”
“Oh, sure,” he replied. “I’ll be irresistible. Maybe I’ll just channel a little Harkness for the evening.”
“Well, if we do that, we’ll never get you there,” Jack said, stepping into their space without apology. “Not that I’m objecting…”
“We had better be going,” Ianto interrupted. “Gwen, are you driving?”
Gwen opened her mouth to reply but nobody seemed in much of a mood to let anyone else speak at the moment.
“I’ll drive you,” Jack said firmly. A glance at Jack indicated the futility of argument. Ianto nodded.
“We’ll take my car,” he said. “It’s less conspicuous.”
Jack nodded and they made to leave. Gwen was hot in pursuit but a repeat of Jack’s earlier stern look stopped her in her tracks. Tosh hid a smirk behind her hand, and opened the door to the garage.
#
For all his insistence on their being left alone, Jack didn’t speak for most of the journey. They were turning the corner on their destination before Jack uttered a word.
“You know what you’re doing in there, right?” he asked, redundantly. “Talk, be nice. Get yourself noticed. Don’t give anything away and if anyone strikes you as suspicious, flag it with one of us. And just… don’t get hurt, or kidnapped. Or killed.”
“Okay, Jack,” Ianto said sympathetically. Jack’s hand found his arm as his own hand found the door handle.
“I haven’t kissed you,” Jack said. “Since I got back.” Ianto shot him a questioning look and Jack gave a huff of laughter. “It’s all I’ve thought about for a year and I haven’t done it yet.”
Comforted by the slump of Ianto’s shoulders and the enchanted, longing look on Ianto’s face, he was a tad bemused by Ianto’s reply.
“I can’t,” Ianto said, shaking his head. “Not outside a speed dating meeting. Look a little suspicious, don’t you think?”
“Yeah,” Jack said, radiating disappointment. “You’re right.”
Ianto’s eyes darted toward the entrance.
“We could be chaste,” he offered. “Can you be chaste?”
Jack cracked a smile, small but genuine, and shook his head.
“I’ll keep,” he said.
Ianto’s eyes flickered from Jack’s eyes to his lips and back again. Jack’s hand slid from his arm, to his hand, and their fingers found one another. Jack leaned in toward him, almost nothing but just enough to make the upholstery squeak.
“They’re going to start,” Ianto said. One more glance at Jack’s lips and he pulled his hands away, opened the door and stepped out in one fluid movement. He didn’t look back as he walked to the converted church that was the ironic setting for such an unconventional meeting. He breathed out heavily.
“Everything okay, Ianto?” Tosh prompted in his ear. “Your heart rate is up.” There was a definite edge of amusement to her voice.
“I hope this alien goes for the horny teenager look,” Ianto whispered. Tosh’s laughter echoed in his ear as he greeted the doorman and was shown where to register.
#
Jack sat outside with his jaw tense for all of two minutes before speeding back to the hub. He jiggled impatiently as the various doors took their time letting him in.
“Has it started yet?” he asked, tossing his coat over a chair and joining the gathering at Tosh’s workstation. He clicked his fingers in Owen’s face to annoy him out of his chair while Tosh explained.
“He’s registered and got himself a beer.” She pointed to the screen, where Ianto was looking up toward the stage. A kind-looking woman in her thirties was leaning on the edge of the stage, consulting a clipboard.
“That’s Stephanie. She’s the one who called the police.”
“That’s why she looks so nervous?”
“I imagine so,” Tosh replied. “She’ll ring that bell in a couple of minutes and the guys standing up will find their first ‘date’. They’ve all got numbers and scorecards,” she added with a hint of amusement.
“I wonder how the teaboy will score,” Owen said loudly. On the screen, Ianto looked down and scratched an invisible mark off the card with an extended middle finger. Jack snorted.
The bell rang and Ianto took a steadying breath, making his way toward one of the first tables, where a bright smile and a pair of big brown eyes welcomed him.
“Number 2?” Ianto asked, by way of introduction. The team watched the man give Ianto a sly appraising look and a welcoming raised eyebrow.
“Number 17? Pleased to meet you,” came the American-accented reply. Jack squinted at the screen.
“I don’t like him,” Jack said.
#
Just over an hour and ten dates later, Gwen was getting tetchy. She was supposed to be making notes on each of the dates and marking down which of them seemed dodgy. So far, Jack hadn’t let a single man past without insisting she flag him as a risk.
“What can you possibly have against his one?” she whispered. Tosh had threatened to send them away if they couldn’t pipe down. (Half of Ianto’s score sheet was covered with scribbled pleas for quiet and Owen had already been banished for repeatedly pointing out how good Ianto was at chatting up men.)
Ianto was currently talking to a sweet-looking Indie kid in his second year at Cardiff Uni, who had only come out six months previously and had no idea how to get started.
“He’s manipulative!” Jack said. A sharp look from Tosh and he lowered his voice. “All that crap about inexperience and wanting someone to ‘be a friend as well as a lover’? I was using those lines when I was 12 years old.”
“I’m sure you were,” Gwen said noncommittally. “But he isn’t you, is he? You just don’t like him because he’s cute.”
Jack scoffed.
“He’s not that cute.”
“Ianto’s given him a 4,” Tosh dropped in.
“Out of 5?” Jack exclaimed. Ianto cleared his throat pointedly through the speakers and Jack pouted. Thirty seconds later the bell rang twice, signalling the end of the five minutes and the start of a ten-minute ‘half-time’ when people could go to the bathroom and the bar, powder their noses and whatnot.
“Well, I do hope nobody is going to watch me piss,” Ianto said under his breath as he walked toward the back of the bar. Tosh grinned and assured him he was safe, switching off the visual. She span her chair around to face Jack, who looked just as disappointed to be denied the chance to watch Ianto pee. Once upon a time that might have struck her as a little gross, but she knew Jack too well now.
“You know he’s not really going on any of these dates,” she asked. Jack gave her a look. She jerked her head toward the screen. “It’s work. Most of them wouldn’t even be his type,” she added pointedly. “So sit on your jealousy and let us get on with it, or you can go watch in your office, okay?”
With that, she span her chair back around, turning away from Jack’s surprised expression and turning the volume back up.
”It’s only a tourist information office,” Ianto was saying. “Not the most exciting work on the planet, I suppose, but it pays the bills and I get to get enthusiastic about my country, which is really great.”
“Have they started again?” Gwen asked. “That wasn’t ten minutes.”
Tosh flicked on the visuals and Ianto blinked. He was at the bar, chatting to the brown-eyed American from the very first date.
“Well, I think it’s awesome,” he replied. “You’re doing something you enjoy and you’re making people happy. I love this city, man; you’d have no trouble selling it to me. Hell, I think you could sell manure to a man with no garden, what with that accent of yours.”
Ianto laughed in a way that was very nearly flirtatious and Jack bristled from head to toe. He had never seemed more pleased to hear a bell ring. The American stranger rolled his eyes.
“Between you and me,” he said conspiratorially. “I’m not sure there’s any point going on. I’ve already been on nine more dates than I needed.”
Ianto laughed again and Jack had a horrible feeling that he was biting his lip coyly.
“Well, we should still stay the course,” he said. “It’s only polite.”
“Such a gentleman,” the American said. “I like you more all the time.”
Jack reached over Gwen and turned the ‘X’ that marked him as suspicious into a large, well-scratched asterix.
#
Ianto’s information centre had to have the most random opening hours of any of its comparators.
Normal hours were nominally observed. However, sometimes it would open on Sunday and sometimes it wouldn’t. In Jack’s absence, it had been open every day, because Ianto didn’t want to be at home on his own.
And still he was only able to keep it open when the world didn’t need saving, his colleagues didn’t need coffee or when Tosh and Gwen were actually working and he wasn’t waylaid for technical conversations and/or wedding planning. Tosh had been delighted to discover that he was actually surprisingly intelligent and quite adept at lateral thinking. Gwen had been delighted to discover that he had a profound appreciation of tailoring and that his organisational skills were easily translated across to the arrangement of nuptials. They were both a little ashamed not to have noticed before but they had certainly made up for it since.
Now Jack was back and there was the potential to return to some sort of normal routine. Ianto had just assumed he would go back to his role as it had been before. He was pleasantly surprised and only mildly inconvenienced to discover that Gwen had insisted that not be the case. Ianto was to stay a valuable member of the field team and his talents were not to be wasted. Ianto’s chest had puffed out despite himself.
That all being true, he actually really liked running the desk, reading things about Wales that he never knew before and, once in a while, jumping out of his skin when someone actually did come in with a query. Today he was at his leisure in his little office and even more surprised than usual to receive a visitor, at quarter to five on a Monday afternoon.
“Did you know there are six tourist information offices in Cardiff? Six!” The visitor exclaimed, solely amusement in his voice. “I didn’t know there was that much to see in Cardiff!”
Ianto smiled widely.
“Centre of the universe, is Cardiff,” he explained, not completely joking. “The gateway into enticing you into the rest of Wales, see?”
“Ah,” the visitor acknowledged. “I missed all that in the other offices. I’ve only been to two this afternoon, and both times I just asked them to point me in the direction of a smart, helpful, handsome young man called Ianto. They weren’t so impressed in the Millennium Centre,” he said sadly.
“Oh, aye,” Ianto said. “I’m the shameful, backward, country cousin. I don’t hold with their strip lighting and their accurate maps.”
“I like your way better,” came the reply. The American leaned over the desk in front of Ianto, folding his arms and leaning on one upturned hand. “So, how would you rate my stalking?” he asked.
“You’re very thorough,” Ianto admitted, with barely a pause. “You really could have waited for the dating agency to set us up.”
“That was taking too long,” Number 2, whose name Ianto knew was Ewan, explained. “Besides, I didn’t know if you’d marked me as a yes.”
“Course I did,” Ianto said, colouring a little. He had marked everyone as a yes, as it happened, since the primary purpose of this activity was a sting. He would have anyway, he realised. He had to flirt a little, now, to continue the investigation.
“I don’t suppose Cardiff could function with only five tourist information offices for the rest of the day?” Ewan prompted. “All this stalking has worked up quite a thirst. I feel a little hunger creeping up on me, now we come to mention it.”
Ianto nodded.
“Let me call my boss,” he said, his voice cracking almost imperceptibly and hell, if that wasn’t guilt right there. He picked up the phone. “Just to be on the safe side.”
Down in the hub, the phone on Jack’s desk rang; the special tone for internal calls. He picked it up and made a curious noise into the handset.
“Hello, Jack?” Ianto asked. Jack’s brow creased and he sat up straight.
“Ianto, are you okay?” he asked, his body tensing with the immediate expectation of trouble.
“Fine, fine,” Ianto answered. “Slow afternoon, I was wondering if it was okay for me to knock off early? A friend wants to take me out for a drink.”
Jack lurched forward to his computer and pulled up the CCTV for the office.
“Um, yeah,” he said vaguely as he waited for the feed to load. “Oh, shit! Him? You’re not even wired up!”
“No,” Ianto said lightly. “But you can always get me if you need me.” Ianto touched his ear, assuming Jack was watching and subtly reminding him that he was wearing his earpiece.
“Be careful,” Jack said darkly. “Don’t trust him, don’t be alone with him and don’t touch him.”
Ianto let the slightest smile twitch the corner of his lip.
“I’ll do my best,” Ianto said. “See you soon,” he added lightly, resisting the temptation to say something suspiciously reassuring or affectionate and hung up.
“All set,” Ianto said. “I’ll just lock up.”
Down in the hub, Jack burst from his office and the rest of the team jumped to attention.
“Ianto is leaving the building with one of the dates from last night,” he all but yelled. “Tosh, we don’t have visual so you get on every camera in the city; I want you in their pocket. Gwen, listen in to Ianto’s audio, I don’t know what we’re looking for but find it.”
With that, he slammed back into his office, leaving his team to share pointed looks before following their instructions. Owen came to sit behind Tosh, muttering quietly about wanting to witness the monumental event of Ianto on an actual date. Tosh suspected he just didn’t want to be left out, but allowed him to remain as long as he shut up and didn't get in her way.
Jack paced across his office, in the faint dent that would one day, in the distant future, better resemble a trench.
He glanced repeatedly at the screen, watching the two men walking along the waterfront. He scowled as they laughed, as Ianto seemed to flirt too easily. Now Jack came to look at him, this Ewan was quite the figure of a man. A little taller than Ianto; nice looking, funny. Jack wouldn’t usually go for his type because, for all his seeming vanity, Jack didn’t go for men who were this much like him. He narrowed his eyes in irritation. And this stranger was making Ianto the centre of his universe, less than 24 hours since their original meeting.
“So I’m looking at a younger, more attentive version of myself,” Jack said out loud. “Fuck!”
“What’s funny?” Ewan asked and Jack realised Ianto had laughed, seemingly without provocation.
“Nothing, sorry,” Ianto said. “I was just remembering something my boss said. It’s not that funny.”
They returned to their conversation and Jack considered his options. The two men turned into a bar and could no longer be picked up on the usual CCTV. Tosh was fiddling around trying to find the internal CCTV but so far she only had the doorway cameras and it was looking likely that that was all they had. Ianto volunteered to grab a table by the window while Ewan went to the bar.
“So, you can hear me?” Jack observed, quietly, as soon as the men had parted. “I’m ordering you not to get too close,” he went on. “I won’t have it.”
Ianto snorted quietly.
“What’s too close?” he asked.
“Don’t you touch him,” Jack said. “You see he keeps his hands to himself or I’ll tear them off and eat them.” Before Ianto could react to the slightly odd image, he went on. “Then I’ll lick you clean.”
“Promise?” Ianto asked.
“Corona,” Ewan announced, and Jack set his jaw.
Ewan seemed to be reluctant to discuss what had brought him to Cardiff, only that he had been here for six months and he liked it very much. He did, however, seem genuinely interested in hearing about Ianto, and talking about all the things that made him happy. He had no qualms about talking openly about the speed dating service, either.
“I think it’s great!” Ewan exclaimed. “I can’t imagine any better way to meet someone. You walk in; every person there is looking for a date. You don’t have to worry about finding out if they’re gay, whether they’re single; it cuts out so much of the awkward beginnings. All you have to worry about is if you fancy the person opposite you and if they fancy you. Anything else you can work out after.”
“I see what you mean,” Ianto agreed. “My last relationship, it took me a year to work out if I was even gay.”
Ewan laughed and, even through the windows, from this distance, Jack could see both of the girls shiver. He did have a very nice laugh; it was uncluttered and genuine.
“I take it you worked it out?” he prompted.
Ianto breathed laughter.
“I worked out that it doesn’t matter what sex someone is or how old they are, or where they come from. If you’re attracted to someone, you might as well just go with it. And if you’re in love with someone, gender’s a particularly pathetic thing to let get in the way.”
There was a pause, during which Jack didn’t breathe.
“I love that,” Ewan volunteered.
“Oh, I really hope you’re talking about me,” Jack said. “I hope I turned you. I know nobody else ever put their...”
Ianto jerked unexpectedly, yelping as he tried to interrupt Jack’s thought, and upsetting the table, spilling half a bottle of beer in Ewan’s lap.
“What did I say?” Jack asked as Ianto groaned.
“If you wanted a wet pants competition, you only had to ask,” Ewan said with amusement.
“Oh, fuck it, I am so sorry,” Ianto sputtered, pulling out a handkerchief and jumping to pat at Ewan’s crotch.
“It’s okay,” Ewan said, smiling widely. “My hotel is around the corner, literally,” he said. “I can get changed. I feel a little underdressed anyway, to be honest.”
Ianto stopped rubbing at Ewan’s pants and blushed.
“Okay,” he said. “I really am sorry.”
“Come on,” Ewan said, smiling and extending a hand to Ianto. “Do all men make you this jumpy or is it just me?”
Ianto laughed politely and very carefully didn’t answer.
Jack wrenched his office door open and looked down at his team.
“Ianto is going back to this asshole’s hotel. Get them back on the CCTV, I want to know exactly where they are!”
“Like I wasn’t already,” Tosh grumbled as soon as the door had slammed back into place. “This guy’s like, the least scary alien we’ve ever seen.”
Jack’s door banged open again and Gwen winced.
“You guys can’t hear my side of the conversation, right?” he asked. “When I’m talking to Ianto?”
“No, just Ianto and Ewan,” Gwen said pointedly.
“Right!” Jack said, backing up again.
“What was all that about Ianto’s last relationship?” Gwen wondered aloud. “I mean, Lisa was a woman, right? She always was?”
“Hell yes, she was,” Owen chimed in. “I did her autopsy. She wasn’t a cyber-ladyboy.”
Ianto cleared his throat very loudly and Owen’s mouth clicked shut. Speaking of Lisa without respect was very much on the ‘pain of death’ list of things to do. “He’s probably just making it up,” Owen added quietly. “For the part,” he specified for the girls’ still irritated faces. “I think his undercover skills are actually quite accomplished.”
Jack would have been too preoccupied to enjoy the unintentional innuendo, had he heard it, as Ianto had just reached Ewan’s hotel. “I’ve never been in the Angel Hotel before,” Ianto said, and Jack smiled to realise he was letting them know precisely where he was, as subtly as possible. There was the sound of a lift door shutting and Ianto asked, “What floor did we want?”
“Four,” Ewan specified. A few moments of lift music later and they were stepping out. “This way, number 83,” Ewan guided him. “So,” Ewan said as the door clicked open. “I’ve got you in my room and in a minute, I’m about to lose my pants. You’re a quick worker, Ianto Jones.”
Ianto snorted.
“God, you don’t half remind me of my boss,” he said. Jack bristled.
“Is that okay?” Ewan asked, a little vulnerability in his usually playful tone.
“Yeah,” Ianto said. “He’s not so bad.”
“You can call me sir, if you like,” Ewan said, his voice clearer than before.
“Tempting,” Ianto observed. “But perhaps unwise. That whole area is a little complicated.”
“But tempting,” Ewan said, his voice little over a whisper and Jack was out of his seat, his heart in his throat. “I want to kiss you,” Ewan said. “Is that okay?”
In reality, Ewan was standing so close to Ianto that it would be the work of a lean to bring their lips into contact. Ianto breathed out slowly, buying time as he contemplated the repercussions. He gave the slightest hint of a nod.
“Don’t you kiss him!” Jack yelled into the comm. The team couldn’t hear him over the receiver, but they all turned at the sound of Jack yelling in his office. Ianto jerked a little and would have moved away but it was too late. Sufficient permission had been given and Ewan kissed him.
The rift didn’t open. The world didn’t move and Ianto wasn’t vaporised. It was just a kiss. But it was soft and just barely audible to each member of the Torchwood team. Jack kicked his chair across his office, where it hit a glass panel and came shooting back to slam against his desk.
Ianto pulled out of the kiss and sighed.
“Nice,” he said, his voice quiet and heavy. “Why don’t you change your trousers; I’m just going to use the bathroom.”
“Okay,” Ewan replied, sounding pleasantly breathless himself. “Don’t be too long,” he added.
“God, that was romantic,” Gwen observed, as if to herself. Tosh was nodding. Jack counted to five and started yelling.
“What the hell did you think you were doing?” he shouted into the comm. “I told you not to kiss him! You could have been devoured, or possessed! That might be how they disappear. One kiss and you’re lost!”
“It was just a kiss, Jack,” Ianto replied, whispering and sounding quite calm. “He’s not an alien. He’s just a nice guy. He’s not going to eat my head or assimilate me. I think he just wants to go out with me. Shocking, I know. Tosh? Can you give my mobile a call in a couple of minutes; I need to beg off the rest of the evening without seeming rude.”
“Oh, you’re not even going to put out?” Owen asked, sounding disappointed. Tosh expected to turn around and see him with popcorn. “Cocktease.”
Jack was so relieved that this ‘date’ was almost over that he didn’t even mind Owen's teasing.
“And then what?”
He could almost hear Ianto shrug.
“That’s up to you, isn’t it?” Ianto suggested.
“Ianto?” Ewan’s voice was muffled by the door. “Can I show you something?”
“Don’t you pull out your…” Jack’s objection was interrupted by the telltale crackle of a comm being removed.
“Jack?” Gwen asked carefully. “If Ewan moved here six months ago, why is he staying in a hotel?”
And that was all Jack needed. He didn’t hear Owen’s suggestion that Ewan was married and looking to score some teaboy action. He was two minutes out of the hub when Tosh’s message came though that she had tried to call Ianto and had no response. Less than a minute later, Gwen’s panicked voice announced that the energy spike was back, centred on the fourth floor of the Angel Hotel. Jack ran every red light that remained.
Almost precisely six minutes since he had left the hub, the doorframe of room 483, the Angel Hotel, splintered under the force of a panicking Jack Harkness and his ready-drawn gun. Ewan raised an eyebrow, but left his hands at his sides.
“That’s him, is it?” he asked casually.
“That’s him,” Ianto confirmed.
“That’s me,” Jack said, his jaw tight. “Who am I?” he asked, sounding near-terrified, glancing between the two of them like he expected Ewan to launch forward at any moment and swallow Ianto whole. “And what is that?” he cried, pointing his gun at the quivering mess in the centre of the room.
“That’s my home,” Ewan explained. “My name is, in fact, Ewan, more or less. And you are Jack.” He nodded toward Ianto. “An anchor,” Ewan said.
Ianto turned to Jack.
“Ewan is an alien,” he said, and there was apology in his voice. “His race was almost wiped out by a disease.”
“There are only a few of us left,” Ewan explained. “116, to be exact.”
“I’m sorry,” Jack said, compassionate enough but not enough to lower his gun.
“We live on,” Ewan said, nodding in thanks. “It was some time ago. Most of those I love were spared. However, we crave companionship,” he said, quietly adding, “love, and sex,” with his head held high. “And our world is a beautiful, lush place, full of life and space, millennia of art and culture to preserve, all that must live on! We wish to rebuild our population.”
“116 is enough to start to rebuild, surely,” Jack said. Ewan nodded.
“The immunity is genetic,” Ewan explained. “Those I loved were spared because they are all in my family.” Jack made a face. “Quite,” Ewan said. “Not only as morally unacceptable to us as it is to you, but also an ill-advised genetic plan.”
“So why us?” Jack said. “Why our young men?”
“They don’t know if the disease is gone,” Ianto said. “Humans, it seems, are naturally tolerant to infection.”
“We believe our lineage might have been touched by human... interaction at some point in our ancestry. And there’s our physical similarity. And, besides, we like you,” he said, winking at Ianto, who smiled at him.
“So, you just kidnap young men and what, force your women on them?” Jack said, his brow tightly knotted.
“I am a woman,” Ewan said. Jack snorted disbelief. “In a way,” Ewan went on. “We are hermaphroditic. Physically, one may look like either of your typical genders, but fundamentally we have no gender identity. My brothers and I find the male form appealing. We wish to carry the offspring.”
“Have you done that before?” Jack asked.
“No,” Ewan replied.
“It’s a bitch,” Jack warned.
“So I hear,” Ewan concurred. “We really don’t kidnap anyone. We show them our paradise and, if they wish to come with us…” he looked at Ianto longingly. “They are so very welcome.”
Ianto lifted his eyes sorrowfully to meet Ewan’s, then he turned to look at Jack.
“Don’t go,” Jack said, without relaxing his brow. “Please.”
Ianto shook his head.
“I’m not going,” he confirmed. Ewan deflated.
“It was worth one last go,” Ewan said, resignedly. “It seems I arrived just a little too late to capture Ianto’s attention. He had a better offer.”
Jack’s gun had gradually descended and he glanced at it now, where it rested against his thigh.
“You did?” he asked, too anxious to hope he understood.
Ianto smiled shyly.
“Dinner,” he shrugged. “A movie?”
“Really?” Jack asked, incredulous. Ianto gaped at him.
“Do you want me to go?” he asked, getting to his feet. “Fuck, Jack, if you weren’t serious, tell me now, because the idea of that date was remarkably fucking exciting for me! Which is pathetic, now I come to say it!” he added, irritably.
“I did mean it,” Jack said quietly. “Definitely. I’ve been thinking about it for months. Just like that damn kiss I’ve been waiting for. But you… you could archive his entire planet! You’d give up paradise for a date? With this unreliable bastard?”
Ianto nodded.
“I reckon you must have hurt him,” Ewan interjected as Jack did a good impression of a goldfish. “But he loves you anyway.” Ianto’s eyes slid away from Jack’s and he coloured, despite himself. “Either you’re quite the man or he’s quite the fool.”
“Both,” Jack and Ianto answered as one. Ianto strode forward and took Ewan’s hands, ignoring Jack’s flinch.
“I am so sorry,” Ianto said. “I didn’t want to lead you on but we really did think there was a genuine threat. We didn’t know you were just…”
“On the pull?” Ewan answered cheekily. “It’s okay, Ianto. It really is. Actually, it’s been a pleasure to meet you; I wouldn’t take it back. I’m not in love with you yet, I just… I know I could have been, if you’d come.” There was no implication in his voice, no subtle way of imploring him to reconsider. “Besides,” Ewan said, squeezing Ianto’s hands, “I’ve got three months to get over you. It would take him a lot longer, I’m sure,” he said, indicating Jack.
“What, are you just giving up?” Jack asked, curling his lip a little at the idea that a relatively small blow to the ego would see him off. Ianto and Ewan both raised their eyebrows at him. “Not on him!” Jack added, stepping forward and all but snatching Ianto’s hand away from Ewan’s. “He’s very much mine, thanks.” Ianto couldn’t help but smile to himself with more than a little satisfaction. “But there’s lots more men out there! Stay and find yourself another!”
“I can’t,” Ewan said. “Our windows only last for three days at a time and I have to be on the other side to program a new one. If I go through, resetting my generator takes about three months. But if I let this one shut, I can’t get home at all. That’s why the speed dating is so great!” he said enthusiastically, and Jack was reminded of the Doctor for a moment. “You can meet someone, get to know them, then spend the next couple of days stalking the hell out of them. We’re a little empathic,” he explained. “It helps. Other travellers have kept their options open and pursued more than one on each visit, before choosing who to invite. I…” he opened his mouth, caught Ianto’s look and shrugged, deciding against saying what had been in his head. “I wish we had time to court for longer, but if you try and date a guy for three days every three months they tend to think something’s very wrong.”
“I hope you do find someone,” Ianto said. “Next time you come. I could help you out, you know, run background checks…”
“I thought you worked in tourist information,” Ewan said knowingly. Ianto shut his mouth.
“Can you do me a favour,” Jack asked suddenly. “If I accept that you’re not taking these boys against their will, could you just see that they leave some sort of note? It would make life a lot easier if we didn’t have young gay men disappearing without trace.”
“Certainly,” Ewan said. “We’ve been so caught up in romance we forgot the people left behind. I’ll see if anyone who’s already come has messages, too, and bring them with me next time."
“That would be brilliant,” Ianto said. “Just so long as they know what they’re getting into.”
“Do you?” Ewan said pointedly, before winking and making his way over to the ‘window’ that was, it seemed, controlled by what looked like an ordinary remote control. He looked up at Jack. “Can I look him up for a coffee, at least, if I’ve got the time? I promise not to kidnap him.”
Jack shrugged with feigned nonchalance.
“I’m not the boss of him,” he said, causing Ianto to scrunch up his nose in confusion.
“Yes, you are,” he pointed out. Jack made a face and shrugged. Ewan laughed a little and pressed a button on the remote that widened the aperture.
“One last thing. Why do you have an American accent?” Jack asked.
“Slightly empathic,” Ewan reminded them, one foot in his own world and one in the hotel. He grinned. “I got the feeling he’d like it,” he said, nodding at Ianto and winking. Ianto rolled his eyes and steadily avoided Jack’s gaze and wide grin. Ewan took a breath and with a final touch of his fingertips to his eyebrow, very nearly a salute, he stepped through his window and closed it behind himself.
Jack and Ianto stood in the empty room and let the not-wholly comfortable silence reign for half a minute or so. Eventually, Ianto sighed and turned toward the door. Jack’s hand on his arm stopped him before he made it two steps.
“Where are you off?” Jack asked, an odd vulnerability in his expression.
“Back to work,” Ianto said. “At the least, we need to write this up.”
Jack shook his head and stepped into Ianto’s space.
“You didn’t leave me,” he said, still sounding a tad bemused. “You gorgeous idiot.”
“I don’t know about gorgeous,” Ianto said, smiling faintly. He didn’t seem inclined to argue the second point and Jack breathed laughter, his arm sliding around Ianto’s waist.
“I want my kiss,” he said, as desperate as he was determined. “Now, if I may.”
Ianto nodded very slightly, licking his lips and staring at Jack’s mouth with hooded eyes.
“You have waited very patiently,” he said.
“I have,” Jack agreed, his other hand cradling Ianto’s cheek. “And he…” their eyes met and whatever Jack was going to say, be it tease or gentle reprimand, suddenly didn’t matter at all. He shook his head minutely and smiled softly. “So have you,” he concluded, nudging Ianto’s nose so his head tilted back just a touch, before letting his eyes slide closed and pressing the gentlest, most brief kiss to the tip of Ianto’s slight pout.
It was Ianto who took the initiative, then, taking a breath and opening his mouth. Jack didn’t need any more encouragement, wrapping his arms tightly around Ianto in the perfect, all-encompassing fashion that was unique to a man of his passion and figure. Ianto dissolved into him, melting into the warm, comfortable embrace and bucking up into the kiss. Their tongues battled, sharing heat as they grabbed at each other.
Their mouths parted, at last, and they froze an inch or so apart, breathing into one another as they caught their senses.
“Well,” Ianto whispered. “Was it worth the wait?”
Jack opened his mouth to speak, then licked his lips and let his eyelids dip.
“Yeah,” he whispered. “Oh, yeah.”
And with that, their lips met again, a slow kiss, becoming a hungry kiss, becoming Ianto’s arse in Jack’s hands and Ianto’s back against the nearest wall.
“So, this room is paid for,” Ianto said when Jack released his reddened lips and started assaulting his neck with wide, wet kisses. “We really might as well make use of it.”
“You read my mind,” Jack said, grinning predatorily. “Although,” he said, his face falling. “No,” he said, letting Ianto’s thigh drop from where it had been clamped around his hip. "I wanted to do this properly. A date, remember? I was going to court you.”
Ianto smiled fondly, his eyebrows rising in pleased surprise. He lifted his hand to the back of Jack’s neck and pulled him into a soft kiss, less demanding but no less emotional than the last.
“Court me after,” he whispered.
Jack rolled his eyes in mock exasperation.
“If you insist,” he said. He had Ianto backed onto the bed in an inhumanly short amount of time, and they set about stripping each other with the kind of urgency and unwillingness to go long without kisses that hindered as much as it helped.
“By the way,” Jack said, propped up on his hands, looming promisingly over Ianto. “No more dating, okay? Apart from me, that is...” He huffed, trying to reclaim his point. “Please don’t date anyone else. This old heart can’t take the competition.”
Ianto smirked and tilted his chin up, inviting another kiss.
“What competition?” he whispered.
Jack grinned like the cat who was about to lap up every scrap of the cream. And Project Mutual Nudity regained momentum.
#
Conversation between the remaining members of the Torchwood team had been quite animated for some time, but for the last couple of minutes, the conversation had dried up and there was a certain awkward atmosphere between them all.
“You know,” Owen said, sitting in Gwen’s passenger seat and messing with the lock on his med kit. “I think the threat’s passed.”
“Yeah, yeah, he was all right, wasn’t he?” Gwen agreed. She started the car again, half turning to Owen, a little flustered, and adding, “Really nice bloke, actually. Just a little impulsive.”
“Just as well we sent the nice, predictable teaboy in after him, then,” Owen said.
Gwen shot the windscreen the shortest of broad, false smiles, which died as soon as it was born, along with the breath of fake laughter.
“Tosh?” she prompted, the acknowledgement from the hub a vague ‘hmm’ in her ear. “Any progress in turning off Jack’s comm?”
“Sorry,” Tosh replied. “Think it must have been the energy from Ewan’s gate thing. I’m trying, but it’s on one way broadcast. We might have to wait until he takes it off himself.”
Gwen shifted uncomfortably and Owen snorted.
“Didn’t know Ianto had it in him,” he observed, enjoying Gwen’s discomfort as the voices coming through the airwaves became more animated and less eloquent. “Will soon, though,” he added.
Gwen scowled, and cranked up Radio 4.
The End.