Fic: An Office Christmas Party - Torchwood Style
Title: An Office Christmas Party - Torchwood Style
Author Name: Anonymous
Original Prompt Number: 041
Pairing(s): Jack/Ianto, Gwen/Rhys, Tosh/Owen
Summary: Tosh and Gwen want to have a Torchwood Christmas Party. Jack agrees, well since he's trapped between Tosh and Gwen, he has to agree if he wants to make it out of his office alive. So they start planning food, new outfits, presents, and decorations. But it's Torchwood, so you know that things will go wrong.
Rating: R
Disclaimer: I don't own Torchwood. I don't own the characters. If I did, we would have a new Torchwood every week and Ianto would be in charge. Wait, I think Ianto is in charge already.
Warnings: None.
Word Count: 4,873
Author's Notes: *looks at word count* Wow! I wrote that many words? And you're going to read all of them? How fun! I hope you enjoy all of them. Esp lollyphants who requested Crack!fic with the Team and Rhys and secret santas and weevils in santa hats and an 'office party' and party ruining aliens. Thanks to my two betas: bassair who reminded me with 'are you done yet? are you done yet? and M who would tell me very politely that I need lots of commas in the previous sentence. You are brilliant!
~~~
An Office Christmas Party - Torchwood Style
~~~
'An office Christmas party. A little party would be nice, Secret Santa, food, the whole works. Decorate the Hub up. Make it look pretty. Festive even. What do you say, Jack?' Gwen turned her puppy dog eyes towards him and smiled.
Jack was trapped. Trapped between Gwen's puppy dog eyes and Tosh's hopeful eyes. Snared. Caught. Helpless. He had to say yes. Before the puppy eyes turned into pit bull dog eyes and the hopeful eyes turned into plotting-evil-revenge eyes.
'Sure. Love the idea. Great. Brilliant. Um, is that my phone ringing? Excuse me but I need to take this call. Get with Ianto on this one.' Jack ran for his office and picked up the non-ringing phone. Jack mentally slapped himself on the head when he realized what he just agreed to. Placing Ianto directly in the path of the two holiday cheerful women. Now Ianto's sexy bedroom eyes were going to be Ianto's I-have-a-headache-for-the-next-two-week eyes. Fuck, he was screwed. Or in this case, not getting screwed.
He'd have to buy Ianto a huge Christmas present to make up for this mistake.
~~~
'Oh course Gwen. I'm sure that Jack will personally pick up the cost of all holiday expenses. In fact, here's his credit card number. Invite Rhys too. He's part of this team also so why not invite him.' Ianto was pissed now. He had hopes of getting laid that evening after everybody left but with Jack's latest stunt, he was going to have to play hurt-feelings-boyfriend instead of trying out those new toys he purchased over the weekend. Fuck, he was screwed. Or in this case, not getting screwed.
Jack was going to have to buy him a huge Christmas present to make up for this mistake.
~~~
'Goose. But then again, Americans usually have turkey.'
'Tosh, I think that's Thanksgiving for turkey. Ham. The Christmas Ham.'
'But I don't like Ham. Turkey sounds good to me.'
'Pudding, definitely need a Christmas pudding.'
'Pies? Mince pies?'
'Thanksgiving again. Chocolate biscuits. We could even leave some out for Father Christmas when he visits.'
'Oi! Don't say that! With the strange things we've seen, we don't need an alien Father Christmas to come through the Rift.'
'Gwen, don't be daft. It's a simple office party. What could go wrong?'
'Secret Santa. We can draw names and buy each other presents. You can't tell anybody. It will be a secret.'
'With my luck, Jack would draw my name and I'd get some kinky sex toy from him.'
'I'd call that good luck then. With his experience, you would get an expert's opinion on some great toys.'
~~~
Jack was scared. Three days had gone by and Ianto said nothing about the Christmas office party. Didn't even have his usual I-have-a-headache excuse. Instead, Ianto suggested that Jack send everybody home early that day and brought out very nice selection of new toys.
Jack still had a grin on his face from that night.
Still, he was scared. Gwen, Tosh, and even Owen have been talking non-stop about the party. Ianto just smiled and served more coffee. Winked at Jack one time, which terrified him. Agreed to the Secret Santa idea without one single snarky comment.
He was going to have to buy Ianto one hell of a great Christmas present.
~~~
Ianto was having so much fun. Watching Jack squirm and he didn't have to do a thing. Smile and pretend that nothing out of the ordinary was going on.
He was going to get one hell of a great Christmas present from Jack.
~~~
'ME? They want me to come?'
'Rhys, darling, of course they want you to come. See, we even put your name in the Secret Santa drawing. Look, I drew a name for you but I didn't look at it. I figured that you might need some ideas so I wrote some likes and dislikes for everybody. I can help you shop. It'll be fun.'
~~~
Tosh was excited. It was silly really. But a party! A Christmas party with good food, friends, and presents. Lots of food and laughter. Normally the only parties she went to were family birthday parties. Very rarely was she invited to other parties. But this party wasn't her family, it was with people who considered her a friend and part of their family.
Still, she needed to go shopping for her Secret Santa gift before the party. Maybe she could pick up some new decorations for the Hub while she was at it. Make the Hub more festive like Gwen suggested.
Gwen. Gwen was probably already done shopping for her perfect gift, along with decorations and a new outfit. Plus little extras for everybody else, shining like a little star next to Tosh who couldn't remember one year's fashion from last year's fashion. Remembering Gwen's unspoken comment about Tosh tucking her jeans into her boots, Tosh headed towards the shopping malls with renewed enthusiasm.
She was going to have a new outfit for the occasion also. Nothing fancy, just something new, and pretty. New shoes, new earrings with a matching necklace. This time, Tosh was going to be the shining star, not Gwen.
She added a new purse to her mental shopping list.
~~~
'Santa Hats? You bought Santa Hats?'
'Well, yea. I thought it might be fun to wear them while we open presents.'
'Tosh Darling. You can wear the hat if you like but I'm not putting the bloody thing on.'
Ianto glared at Owen's retreating back and gave Tosh a quick hug. 'I think it's a great idea. We could even get a beard for Jack and call him Saint Jack instead of Captain Jack for the day.'
'Saint Jack?' Tosh gave Ianto a strange look.
'Well, Christmas is supposed to be the time when miracles happen.'
Tosh cheered up immediately.
~~~
'Ok kids. That's it for the Rift Activity Projection report. Tosh, great job as usual. Now, there's only one more thing I need to discuss before letting anybody out of this room. Just who the hell is charging Christmas decorating supplies to my credit card?' Jack leaned over the conference table and raised his left eyebrow at his team. He could tell that Gwen and Tosh were the culprits by the way they began fidgeting in their chairs.
'That would be me, Jack.' Ianto's clear voice cut through the silence.
'WHAT?'
'Um, yes. Remember we talked about this and you agreed. So I told the team to get what we needed, your treat.'
'WHAT? When did I agree to this? Ianto. Tell me the truth now.'
'When. A few days ago. I believe the precise words you said were 'oh god yes Ianto oh god yes yes.' Then I think you said something along the line of 'oh god Ianto, I'm going to shop' but your voice was horse from all the earlier screaming so I could be mistaken on that one.' Ianto put on his most I'm Innocent face and grinned at Jack who stood there looking shell-shocked.
While Gwen's jaw dropped to the table. Tosh fell off her chair from laughing. Poor Owen, he just banged his forehead against the conference table, muttering softly about needing Retcon.
Ianto was quite pleased with himself at the moment. Jack was going to punish him tonight for being naughty. Hopefully he would get the Bad Boy toy again.
~~~
Jack stared at the innocent looking Ianto from across the table. He was going to have to punish Ianto for being naughty. Jack was going to have to get the Bad Boy toy out tonight.
~~~
Rhys was in trouble. Not only did he get an invitation to his wife's office party but also he drew her boss's name for the Secret Santa present. He was screwed no matter what he did.
He knew very little about the bloke but Rhys understood that Jack was involved with one of his male employees. Wore clothes from the 40's, military coat. So what does a person get for his wife's gay military boss who runs a secret organization that catches aliens? A nice bottle of wine just didn't seem right.
Rhys was screwed.
~~~
Tosh was screwed. She drew Rhys's name for her secret Santa present and she knew almost nothing about him. Gwen would mope about the Hub even more if Tosh didn't get him something nice. She figured that a little more shopping would help her decide but there he was. Standing right there, looking at some very bad wine.
'Rhys?' Tosh walked up to the man and hoped that she got him right.
'Oi, that's me. And it's Tosh, right?'
'Yes, that's right. Um, I see that you're buying wine for dinner?'
'Um, no. Actually, I don't know a thing about wine. I was just looking for a present. For somebody that I don't know. And I haven't got a clue on what to get.'
'Oh my god, I have the same problem. Not a clue.'
'Well, maybe we could help each other out. Tell me. What do you think of this wine?'
'Horrible stuff. A good brandy or scotch is a much better choice. Wine is a bit of a boring present.'
'My Gwen was right. You're a bloody genius.'
~~~
Owen looked over the selection of earrings. He figured with the Secret Santa gifts idea, he could buy Tosh a nice pair of earrings without putting his name on the present. She would never know. It would be nice.
He had drawn Gwen's name as his Secret Santa. A nice bottle of wine was purchased and wrapped for her. No problem. But for Tosh, maybe a necklace instead.
~~~
Jack was exhausted. He really needed to take a nap. Or have some of Ianto's industrial strength coffee but Ianto was not available now. Ianto was currently dead to the world, passed out, not moving for the next century, and definitely not available now.
A nap was a good idea. He curled his body around the comatose man and shut his eyes.
He was really tired. Using the Bad Boy toy was exhausting.
~~~
Myfanwy unfolded her wings and looked over her domain. Her charges were sleeping and she was considering the same. One last circle around and she was ready to settle back into her nest.
She watched as a mist appeared around her main charge's nest. No squawking or shrieking sounded so Myfanwy settled down without raising her own personal warning. Watched as the mist separated into three singles. She screeched at the three mists. This was her territory. Under her protection.
The mists stopped and vanished from Myfanwy's sight.
Her territory safe once again, Myfanwy slept.
~~~
'Ok guys. The food goes in the conference room. Presents go under the tree. And Jack, stay away from the mistletoe. That's an order!' Ianto was thrilled that the day of the Office Party finally arrived. The Rift stayed silent for the past week. Jack was starting to relax and even enjoy himself. But that might have been due to the extra activities of last night. Which reminded him, Ianto needed to do some research on how to get the bubble gum out of his tie.
The Secret Santa presents surrounded the Christmas tree. Jack was kneeling next to the tree, placing his last minute presents under it. Ianto noticed that he had more than his required Secret Santa present underneath the tree. Knowing Jack, he probably got a tacky present to give to his Secret Santa person but purchased expensive gifts for all. He would deny all knowledge of where they came from but everybody would know.
Ianto would make sure that Jack was properly thanked for all presents later. Much later and in private.
'Ianto?' Tosh's soft voice interrupted Ianto from his daydreaming.
'Yes Tosh.' Ianto turned, saw the sprig of mistletoe, and received a quick kiss.
'Merry Christmas Ianto.' Tosh blushed and smiled up at Ianto.
'Mistletoe? Hand it over Tosh.' Ianto grabbed the mistletoe from her, placed it over her head, and gave her a proper kiss. Not a quick kiss like she gave him but a kiss she deserved to have on a daily basis.
'My turn! My turn!' Gwen jumped up and ran over to the kissing couple while catcalls and whistles filled the room. Ianto looked over at Rhys who shrugged his shoulders and began whistling as loud as the others. The noise grew louder as Gwen grabbed the mistletoe from Ianto, placed it over Tosh's head and gave her another kiss.
'Wow. Just how much of Jack's eggnog did you guys drink? This is going to be a great party.' Owen grabbed a sprig of mistletoe and held it over his head. Both Ianto and Rhys started moving towards Owen.
'Oi, I haven't had any of Jack's eggnog yet. So back off you two. Go snog Gwen and Tosh. Or Jack. Take your pick.'
The sounds of glass shattering stopped the laughter coming from the team. Ianto was the first to react, rushing towards the conference room where the holiday feast was waiting.
'Just a glass that fell over. Must have gotten too close to the edge. I'll get the broom and clean it up. Jack, start handing out the presents but don't open any until I get back.'
'Jack? Did you take the bag with the red ribbon from underneath the tree?' Tosh was on her knees, searching for the missing bag.
'No, Ianto told me to stay away from the tree.'
'In other words, if he peeked, no afternoon shags for a week.' Owen retrieved a torn bag with a mangled ribbon from underneath his chair. 'Is this what you're looking for?'
'Owen! It was no afternoon shags for two weeks. Do you honestly think that I would peek with that threat hanging over me?' Jack and Ianto's relationship was a comfortable topic to tease about with the team now. Secure in their feelings for each, they openly joked about it on a regular basis.
'Jack! Your Christmas Pudding has gone bad.' Ianto's voice cut across the banter and focused everybody's attention on the conference room door where Ianto was slowly backing out.
'Bad? What do you mean bad? It's not that old. Honest.'
'Um, I don't mean bad as in 'this tastes funny' but as in the Christmas Pudding is attacking the Goose who is trying to defend the Cranberry Sauce. Sir, we have a food fight on our hands.'
Another loud crash came from inside the conference room and Jack pushed Ianto aside. He was right. The Christmas Pudding was out of the glass bowl Jack had placed it in and was moving towards the goose. The goose was off the tray, waddling like a cartoon character between the cranberry sauce and the pudding.
'Tosh! I need you to check the Rift projector and activity. Now. Gwen, help her. Owen, I don't know. Get a carving knife?' Jack moved closer to the table, trying to determine what the hell was going on.
'NOW TOSH!' The cranberry sauce was now heading towards the vegetable platter. The carrots were scurrying towards the back of the platter while the celery stalks mustered up the first line of defense.
'I CAN'T JACK!' Tosh was screaming.
'JACK, TOSH CAN'T! SHE'S BEING ATTACKED BY THE TINSEL!' Gwen's voice shrieked higher then Tosh's.
'God, I hate tinsel. It always makes a mess.' Ianto's voice added to the noise level. Grabbing a pair of scissors, he reached Tosh and starting snipping away at the colorful strands wrapping themselves around Tosh. Gwen grabbed a heavy-duty rubbish bag and shoved the clipped pieces in, containing the small pieces and making her Ianto's best friend for the rest of his cleaning life.
Meanwhile, the eggnog joined in the battle, splashing itself at the cranberry sauce. Jack shut and locked the door. Ianto was going to be pissed about the mess, Jack muttered to himself. The cranberry sauce stain was going to be impossible to get out of the white tablecloth.
'OWEN! Get your scrawny arse out here and help.' Jack braced himself against the conference door. The food joined forces and was now trying to push their fight forward. The eggnog having the advantage of being a liquid snuck under the door and was currently soaking Jack's trousers.
'Love to, Jack, but Rhys and I are kinda busy with the presents. Hopefully, nobody brought anything breakable.' Owen hollered as the surplus wrapping paper flew towards his face. Rhys didn't see it until the paper wrapped itself around his face. The ribbons joined in and tried desperately to tie a pretty bow around Rhys's face while Owen struggled with the tape.
*smash*
'Oops, sorry but I think a bottle just broke. Scotch from the smell of it.' Owen had won the battle with the tape and was currently hiding under a tray, protecting his head.
'NOT THE SCOTCH!' Both Rhys's and Tosh's voice screamed as one. Rhys's voice sounded a little muffled since he was not winning the battle against the wrapping paper.
'Sorry Jack but I think that was your present.'
'I got Scotch from my Secret Santa? Damn it, folks! We need to find out what is going on. Tosh, are you untangled yet? Gwen, Rhys is fine. Help Tosh get free.'
'Ebenezer! Ebenezer!' A new voice joined in.
'What? Who are you? There is no Ebenezer here. Show yourself.' Jack pushed back against the conference room door. Who knew that a cooked Christmas Goose could be so strong?
*smash*
'Oi! Somebody's bottle of wine just broke!'
'Is that what that stench is?'
'Captain! We got a ghost over here and it's wrapping Owen up in chains! What do you want me to do?' Rhys's calm voice carried loud over the chaos in the Hub. Damn, I should have hired him instead of Gwen, Jack thought to himself as he fought off the cranberry sauce crawling up his trousers.
'What type of ghosts? Human? Alien? Clear? Solid? What type of chains?'
'Uh, Human shaped. Dressed in nightclothes. Ghost Chains. With a ball at the end. Cheesy effect.' Rhys had won the battle of the wrapping paper with Owen's help and now they were facing a new foe.
'Cheesy? Who are you calling cheesy? This is supposed to be classic Christmas story for your planet.' The chains dropped from Owen, freeing him. Tinsel stopped wrapping itself around Tosh and hung limply from her. A second ghost appeared next to her, dressed in the same type of outfit as the first but no chains. The cranberry sauce was still traveling up Jack's trousers, rising higher and closer to the parts of Jack reserved for Ianto only.
'Cheesy. As in bad telly effects. Cheap.' Rhys's voice still carried clear through the hub. Holding the two spirits' attention until one of the Torchwood members could take over. Gwen was the first to reach him, placing herself in front of her husband as if to protect him from the spirits.
'Who are you and what do you want?' Gwen demanded answers. She was upset about the Scotch also. It smelled as if it was an expensive brand.
'Well, I'm Ghost of Christmas Past, this is Ghost of Christmas Present and our mate over there with the hottie is the Ghost of Christmas Future. We are tricking you. I thought you knew that. It's what your planet does.' Christmas Past shrugged his shoulders and hung his head low.
'Excuse me? Those are just characters from a story and tricking folks is NOT what our planet does. So please tell the Ghost of Christmas Future to leave the hottie alone. I really don't appreciate Future's actions towards him.' Ianto glared at Christmas Past, wishing that he had a stun gun built for ghosts.
'Sorry. It's just that she's new at this and gets a little eager sometimes. Um, Future. Come on over. The game is over.' Christmas Past motioned for Christmas Future to stop.
*thud*
*smash*
'Ow! That hurt!' Without the goose and assorted foods pushing on the conference room door, Jack fell hard onto the Christmas feast, ruining the rest of the food and his clothes at the same time.
'Jack! You ok?'
'I'm fine. Only my dignity has been hurt. No change there.' Jack tried to stand up but slipped on the Christmas Pudding. Tripped over the Goose. Landed face first in the mincemeat pie. Nobody laughed. The team knew that Ianto would have served decaf for months to anybody who dared laugh. Worst punishment ever devised in the history of mankind.
While Jack tried to remove the remains of the ruined feast off his person, Tosh faced the three Dickensian Spirits.
'Ok, who are you and what are you doing here? Besides ruining our Christmas party? And my new outfit. I bought this new for today and you ruined it. I'm never going to be able to get the tinsel off. You have some explaining to do.' She glared at Christmas Past, believing him, her, or it to be the one in charge.
'Um, sorry about that again. You see, we were here during your planet's last party and understood that your planet celebrates parties.' Christmas Past did a good imitation of looking embarrassed.
'Last party? I don't understand.'
'Dressed up in strange clothes. Went from place to place with tricks and treats.'
'Oh, you mean holidays. Humans celebrate a lot of holidays with parties. That holiday is called Halloween and we dress up in funny clothes, eat candy and play jokes on each other. But this is Christmas! We dress up in nice clothes, eat nice food, and give nice presents to each other. NOT TRICK THEM YOU STUPID ALIENS!' Tosh yelled. She was still upset about her new outfit being messed up.
'Oops. Sorry. I guess we didn't do enough research on your planet's customs. Um, Christmas Future, you did do the required research, didn't you?' Christmas Past turned to glare at Christmas Future.
'Of course I did! I may be new at traveling to other cultures, but I do know the rules. Rule number one - Don't interfere. Rule number two - Don't give away any information that will change their future. Rule number three - Don't drink the water. I'm not stupid.' Christmas Future pouted.
'You got the rules wrong again! I can't believe this. You owe these primitives an apology! You are so grounded, young ghost.' Christmas Present turned to towards Christmas Past and started shouting. 'I told you that she wasn't ready but you insisted that she was. I can't believe this. Our first trip outside our reality in centuries and you had to bring her along. My parental units were right. I should never have mingled my life force with yours. Not when the Ghost of Colors was so glowing for me. I can't believe this.'
'Fine! If Ghost of Colors is glowing for your dingy life force, then he is welcome to them. I must have been delusional when I melded with you.'
'Oi! You Ghosts of Christmas whatever! Can you continue this fight somewhere else?' Jack pushed himself between the two bickering ghosts and tried to shove them apart. He failed since his hands kept going through the non-existing bodies. However, he did get a few laughs from his team at his attempts.
'Excuse me Primitive but this is a private discussion. None of your business and stop trying to meld with my better half.' Christmas Past pushed back at Jack who didn't budge either. He was still pissed about his Scotch being ruined.
'Then take it out of MY HUB! THIS IS MY HOME AND YOU RUINED OUR PARTY!' Jack was not going to lose this argument to a ghost. It would make him look bad in front of Ianto and if Jack played his cards right, Ianto would thank his hero in a special way, later on that night.
'I'm your better half? Why Christmas Past! You haven't said that to me in centuries. You still glow for me?' Christmas Present turned a shade whiter while Christmas Future made gagging noises in the background.
'Gag, parental units. They are so disgusting. Always glowing like that. It's embarrassing. Now, you hottie are a different story. I could glow for you, if you like.' Christmas Future moved closer to Jack but was stopped by a determined Ianto.
'Miss Christmas Future. Or whatever your name is. Jack glows only for me and nobody else. Especially one who messed up on the rules on her first time out.'
'I only messed up on one rule.' Christmas Future tried to move closer to Jack.
'One very important rule and that rule is Hands off the Hottie!'
'Oh, so the two of you are melding?' Christmas Future turned a pale pink as she looked over at Jack, then looked at her parental units who were currently melding.
'Yes, we meld as often as possible. Several times a day, in fact. So take your parental units and get the hell out of here before I remove your melding parts.' Ianto glared down Christmas Future and pointed towards the door. The entire team stared at Ianto's outburst except for Jack who looked like he wanted to meld with Ianto right there and then.
'Oops.' The Ghost of Christmas Future vanished from sight. The Ghosts of Christmas Past and Present looked up from their melding, turned a slight pink, and vanished from sight also.
Jack was the first to recover from Ianto's outburst.
'Well, that's sorted. Now, everybody. Let's see how fast we can get this cleaned up and I'll have Ianto order takeout for all of us. I'm sure that nobody is going to want to eat anything left in the conference room.' Jack smiled a not-so-innocent smile at Ianto that promised all sorts of melding later on that evening. Ianto blushed.
'Jack! At least the majority of the presents managed to survive. The nametags are missing but we can figure out whose is whose. Oh my god! Look at this necklace! It's gorgeous. Gwen, this must be for you from Rhys. You lucky gal.' Tosh held up a deep purple-jeweled necklace with gold trimmings.
'Ah, nope. Actually that's yours, Tosh.' Owen was blushing and hiding behind Rhys.
'What? Mine? You were my Secret Santa Owen?' Tosh stared open mouth at Owen and at the necklace in her hand.
'Ah, nope again. The matching earrings are from your Secret Santa Jack. I saw him get them and got you the matching necklace. As a surprise. You weren't supposed to know.' Owen was really blushing now. Tosh found the matching earrings hidden underneath. Grabbing both packages, she ran over to Jack, gave him a quick peck on his cheek, and then ran over to Owen. Tosh wrapped her arms around Owen and gave him a more through kiss that he returned with pleasure.
'Well, I guess that solves one mystery.' Ianto said as he turned to the other presents still waiting underneath the slightly damaged Christmas tree.
Ianto pulled out the first package he could find. 'Rhys! I found yours - Tosh managed to get you tickets for that game you've been trying for. You can thank her later when she and Owen come up for air. Here's mine. At least I'm thinking the silver coffee gadgets are mine. Thank you Gwen. They are beautiful. Sorry but yours was the bottle of wine that was broken. Jack's was the scotch that soaked Owen's new books. Sorry Owen. I can reorder these for you. Jack! You didn't! Gang! Scrooge Jack got each one of us a weekend away. At a really nice hotel.' Ianto turned around to Jack. Stood from the wreckage underneath the tree and wrapped his arms around the food-covered Jack. Kissed him.
Rhys looked around at the two couples, shrugged his shoulders. 'Might as well join in the fun.' Gwen beat him to it and kissed him first.
~~~
'Ok folks. Great job on cleaning up. Ianto is ordering food right now.' Jack was showered and dressed in clean clothes. The Hub was cleaned. Everything dealt with.
'Jack! We got one slight problem left to deal with.' Owen was sitting very close to Tosh at her station. Both were laughing.
'Now what?'
'Remember the Santa hats that Tosh got? Well, we found them.'
'And Janet does look lovely in them.'
~~~ New Year's Eve. At a hotel, far far away from the Hub
'Hmm, Jack. This is a great Christmas present. I'm enjoying myself.'
'I'm glad Ianto. I'm enjoying myself also. Weekend away from the Hub. No paperwork. No aliens. No interruptions. Just the two of us.'
'So how about a shower before the theatre tonight? Get cleaned up.'
'I like how you think.' Both men's laughter filled the hotel suite as Jack turned on the shower. As Ianto joined him, soft moans soon replaced the laughter.
As the two men enjoyed their shared shower, they didn't hear the clanging of a metal item moving. The meal tray holding the remains of a small feast moved slightly. Chocolate sauce moved up the side of its bowl and started moving towards the remains of the cheesecake.
~~~
Author Name: Anonymous
Original Prompt Number: 041
Pairing(s): Jack/Ianto, Gwen/Rhys, Tosh/Owen
Summary: Tosh and Gwen want to have a Torchwood Christmas Party. Jack agrees, well since he's trapped between Tosh and Gwen, he has to agree if he wants to make it out of his office alive. So they start planning food, new outfits, presents, and decorations. But it's Torchwood, so you know that things will go wrong.
Rating: R
Disclaimer: I don't own Torchwood. I don't own the characters. If I did, we would have a new Torchwood every week and Ianto would be in charge. Wait, I think Ianto is in charge already.
Warnings: None.
Word Count: 4,873
Author's Notes: *looks at word count* Wow! I wrote that many words? And you're going to read all of them? How fun! I hope you enjoy all of them. Esp lollyphants who requested Crack!fic with the Team and Rhys and secret santas and weevils in santa hats and an 'office party' and party ruining aliens. Thanks to my two betas: bassair who reminded me with 'are you done yet? are you done yet? and M who would tell me very politely that I need lots of commas in the previous sentence. You are brilliant!
~~~
An Office Christmas Party - Torchwood Style
~~~
'An office Christmas party. A little party would be nice, Secret Santa, food, the whole works. Decorate the Hub up. Make it look pretty. Festive even. What do you say, Jack?' Gwen turned her puppy dog eyes towards him and smiled.
Jack was trapped. Trapped between Gwen's puppy dog eyes and Tosh's hopeful eyes. Snared. Caught. Helpless. He had to say yes. Before the puppy eyes turned into pit bull dog eyes and the hopeful eyes turned into plotting-evil-revenge eyes.
'Sure. Love the idea. Great. Brilliant. Um, is that my phone ringing? Excuse me but I need to take this call. Get with Ianto on this one.' Jack ran for his office and picked up the non-ringing phone. Jack mentally slapped himself on the head when he realized what he just agreed to. Placing Ianto directly in the path of the two holiday cheerful women. Now Ianto's sexy bedroom eyes were going to be Ianto's I-have-a-headache-for-the-next-two-week eyes. Fuck, he was screwed. Or in this case, not getting screwed.
He'd have to buy Ianto a huge Christmas present to make up for this mistake.
~~~
'Oh course Gwen. I'm sure that Jack will personally pick up the cost of all holiday expenses. In fact, here's his credit card number. Invite Rhys too. He's part of this team also so why not invite him.' Ianto was pissed now. He had hopes of getting laid that evening after everybody left but with Jack's latest stunt, he was going to have to play hurt-feelings-boyfriend instead of trying out those new toys he purchased over the weekend. Fuck, he was screwed. Or in this case, not getting screwed.
Jack was going to have to buy him a huge Christmas present to make up for this mistake.
~~~
'Goose. But then again, Americans usually have turkey.'
'Tosh, I think that's Thanksgiving for turkey. Ham. The Christmas Ham.'
'But I don't like Ham. Turkey sounds good to me.'
'Pudding, definitely need a Christmas pudding.'
'Pies? Mince pies?'
'Thanksgiving again. Chocolate biscuits. We could even leave some out for Father Christmas when he visits.'
'Oi! Don't say that! With the strange things we've seen, we don't need an alien Father Christmas to come through the Rift.'
'Gwen, don't be daft. It's a simple office party. What could go wrong?'
'Secret Santa. We can draw names and buy each other presents. You can't tell anybody. It will be a secret.'
'With my luck, Jack would draw my name and I'd get some kinky sex toy from him.'
'I'd call that good luck then. With his experience, you would get an expert's opinion on some great toys.'
~~~
Jack was scared. Three days had gone by and Ianto said nothing about the Christmas office party. Didn't even have his usual I-have-a-headache excuse. Instead, Ianto suggested that Jack send everybody home early that day and brought out very nice selection of new toys.
Jack still had a grin on his face from that night.
Still, he was scared. Gwen, Tosh, and even Owen have been talking non-stop about the party. Ianto just smiled and served more coffee. Winked at Jack one time, which terrified him. Agreed to the Secret Santa idea without one single snarky comment.
He was going to have to buy Ianto one hell of a great Christmas present.
~~~
Ianto was having so much fun. Watching Jack squirm and he didn't have to do a thing. Smile and pretend that nothing out of the ordinary was going on.
He was going to get one hell of a great Christmas present from Jack.
~~~
'ME? They want me to come?'
'Rhys, darling, of course they want you to come. See, we even put your name in the Secret Santa drawing. Look, I drew a name for you but I didn't look at it. I figured that you might need some ideas so I wrote some likes and dislikes for everybody. I can help you shop. It'll be fun.'
~~~
Tosh was excited. It was silly really. But a party! A Christmas party with good food, friends, and presents. Lots of food and laughter. Normally the only parties she went to were family birthday parties. Very rarely was she invited to other parties. But this party wasn't her family, it was with people who considered her a friend and part of their family.
Still, she needed to go shopping for her Secret Santa gift before the party. Maybe she could pick up some new decorations for the Hub while she was at it. Make the Hub more festive like Gwen suggested.
Gwen. Gwen was probably already done shopping for her perfect gift, along with decorations and a new outfit. Plus little extras for everybody else, shining like a little star next to Tosh who couldn't remember one year's fashion from last year's fashion. Remembering Gwen's unspoken comment about Tosh tucking her jeans into her boots, Tosh headed towards the shopping malls with renewed enthusiasm.
She was going to have a new outfit for the occasion also. Nothing fancy, just something new, and pretty. New shoes, new earrings with a matching necklace. This time, Tosh was going to be the shining star, not Gwen.
She added a new purse to her mental shopping list.
~~~
'Santa Hats? You bought Santa Hats?'
'Well, yea. I thought it might be fun to wear them while we open presents.'
'Tosh Darling. You can wear the hat if you like but I'm not putting the bloody thing on.'
Ianto glared at Owen's retreating back and gave Tosh a quick hug. 'I think it's a great idea. We could even get a beard for Jack and call him Saint Jack instead of Captain Jack for the day.'
'Saint Jack?' Tosh gave Ianto a strange look.
'Well, Christmas is supposed to be the time when miracles happen.'
Tosh cheered up immediately.
~~~
'Ok kids. That's it for the Rift Activity Projection report. Tosh, great job as usual. Now, there's only one more thing I need to discuss before letting anybody out of this room. Just who the hell is charging Christmas decorating supplies to my credit card?' Jack leaned over the conference table and raised his left eyebrow at his team. He could tell that Gwen and Tosh were the culprits by the way they began fidgeting in their chairs.
'That would be me, Jack.' Ianto's clear voice cut through the silence.
'WHAT?'
'Um, yes. Remember we talked about this and you agreed. So I told the team to get what we needed, your treat.'
'WHAT? When did I agree to this? Ianto. Tell me the truth now.'
'When. A few days ago. I believe the precise words you said were 'oh god yes Ianto oh god yes yes.' Then I think you said something along the line of 'oh god Ianto, I'm going to shop' but your voice was horse from all the earlier screaming so I could be mistaken on that one.' Ianto put on his most I'm Innocent face and grinned at Jack who stood there looking shell-shocked.
While Gwen's jaw dropped to the table. Tosh fell off her chair from laughing. Poor Owen, he just banged his forehead against the conference table, muttering softly about needing Retcon.
Ianto was quite pleased with himself at the moment. Jack was going to punish him tonight for being naughty. Hopefully he would get the Bad Boy toy again.
~~~
Jack stared at the innocent looking Ianto from across the table. He was going to have to punish Ianto for being naughty. Jack was going to have to get the Bad Boy toy out tonight.
~~~
Rhys was in trouble. Not only did he get an invitation to his wife's office party but also he drew her boss's name for the Secret Santa present. He was screwed no matter what he did.
He knew very little about the bloke but Rhys understood that Jack was involved with one of his male employees. Wore clothes from the 40's, military coat. So what does a person get for his wife's gay military boss who runs a secret organization that catches aliens? A nice bottle of wine just didn't seem right.
Rhys was screwed.
~~~
Tosh was screwed. She drew Rhys's name for her secret Santa present and she knew almost nothing about him. Gwen would mope about the Hub even more if Tosh didn't get him something nice. She figured that a little more shopping would help her decide but there he was. Standing right there, looking at some very bad wine.
'Rhys?' Tosh walked up to the man and hoped that she got him right.
'Oi, that's me. And it's Tosh, right?'
'Yes, that's right. Um, I see that you're buying wine for dinner?'
'Um, no. Actually, I don't know a thing about wine. I was just looking for a present. For somebody that I don't know. And I haven't got a clue on what to get.'
'Oh my god, I have the same problem. Not a clue.'
'Well, maybe we could help each other out. Tell me. What do you think of this wine?'
'Horrible stuff. A good brandy or scotch is a much better choice. Wine is a bit of a boring present.'
'My Gwen was right. You're a bloody genius.'
~~~
Owen looked over the selection of earrings. He figured with the Secret Santa gifts idea, he could buy Tosh a nice pair of earrings without putting his name on the present. She would never know. It would be nice.
He had drawn Gwen's name as his Secret Santa. A nice bottle of wine was purchased and wrapped for her. No problem. But for Tosh, maybe a necklace instead.
~~~
Jack was exhausted. He really needed to take a nap. Or have some of Ianto's industrial strength coffee but Ianto was not available now. Ianto was currently dead to the world, passed out, not moving for the next century, and definitely not available now.
A nap was a good idea. He curled his body around the comatose man and shut his eyes.
He was really tired. Using the Bad Boy toy was exhausting.
~~~
Myfanwy unfolded her wings and looked over her domain. Her charges were sleeping and she was considering the same. One last circle around and she was ready to settle back into her nest.
She watched as a mist appeared around her main charge's nest. No squawking or shrieking sounded so Myfanwy settled down without raising her own personal warning. Watched as the mist separated into three singles. She screeched at the three mists. This was her territory. Under her protection.
The mists stopped and vanished from Myfanwy's sight.
Her territory safe once again, Myfanwy slept.
~~~
'Ok guys. The food goes in the conference room. Presents go under the tree. And Jack, stay away from the mistletoe. That's an order!' Ianto was thrilled that the day of the Office Party finally arrived. The Rift stayed silent for the past week. Jack was starting to relax and even enjoy himself. But that might have been due to the extra activities of last night. Which reminded him, Ianto needed to do some research on how to get the bubble gum out of his tie.
The Secret Santa presents surrounded the Christmas tree. Jack was kneeling next to the tree, placing his last minute presents under it. Ianto noticed that he had more than his required Secret Santa present underneath the tree. Knowing Jack, he probably got a tacky present to give to his Secret Santa person but purchased expensive gifts for all. He would deny all knowledge of where they came from but everybody would know.
Ianto would make sure that Jack was properly thanked for all presents later. Much later and in private.
'Ianto?' Tosh's soft voice interrupted Ianto from his daydreaming.
'Yes Tosh.' Ianto turned, saw the sprig of mistletoe, and received a quick kiss.
'Merry Christmas Ianto.' Tosh blushed and smiled up at Ianto.
'Mistletoe? Hand it over Tosh.' Ianto grabbed the mistletoe from her, placed it over her head, and gave her a proper kiss. Not a quick kiss like she gave him but a kiss she deserved to have on a daily basis.
'My turn! My turn!' Gwen jumped up and ran over to the kissing couple while catcalls and whistles filled the room. Ianto looked over at Rhys who shrugged his shoulders and began whistling as loud as the others. The noise grew louder as Gwen grabbed the mistletoe from Ianto, placed it over Tosh's head and gave her another kiss.
'Wow. Just how much of Jack's eggnog did you guys drink? This is going to be a great party.' Owen grabbed a sprig of mistletoe and held it over his head. Both Ianto and Rhys started moving towards Owen.
'Oi, I haven't had any of Jack's eggnog yet. So back off you two. Go snog Gwen and Tosh. Or Jack. Take your pick.'
The sounds of glass shattering stopped the laughter coming from the team. Ianto was the first to react, rushing towards the conference room where the holiday feast was waiting.
'Just a glass that fell over. Must have gotten too close to the edge. I'll get the broom and clean it up. Jack, start handing out the presents but don't open any until I get back.'
'Jack? Did you take the bag with the red ribbon from underneath the tree?' Tosh was on her knees, searching for the missing bag.
'No, Ianto told me to stay away from the tree.'
'In other words, if he peeked, no afternoon shags for a week.' Owen retrieved a torn bag with a mangled ribbon from underneath his chair. 'Is this what you're looking for?'
'Owen! It was no afternoon shags for two weeks. Do you honestly think that I would peek with that threat hanging over me?' Jack and Ianto's relationship was a comfortable topic to tease about with the team now. Secure in their feelings for each, they openly joked about it on a regular basis.
'Jack! Your Christmas Pudding has gone bad.' Ianto's voice cut across the banter and focused everybody's attention on the conference room door where Ianto was slowly backing out.
'Bad? What do you mean bad? It's not that old. Honest.'
'Um, I don't mean bad as in 'this tastes funny' but as in the Christmas Pudding is attacking the Goose who is trying to defend the Cranberry Sauce. Sir, we have a food fight on our hands.'
Another loud crash came from inside the conference room and Jack pushed Ianto aside. He was right. The Christmas Pudding was out of the glass bowl Jack had placed it in and was moving towards the goose. The goose was off the tray, waddling like a cartoon character between the cranberry sauce and the pudding.
'Tosh! I need you to check the Rift projector and activity. Now. Gwen, help her. Owen, I don't know. Get a carving knife?' Jack moved closer to the table, trying to determine what the hell was going on.
'NOW TOSH!' The cranberry sauce was now heading towards the vegetable platter. The carrots were scurrying towards the back of the platter while the celery stalks mustered up the first line of defense.
'I CAN'T JACK!' Tosh was screaming.
'JACK, TOSH CAN'T! SHE'S BEING ATTACKED BY THE TINSEL!' Gwen's voice shrieked higher then Tosh's.
'God, I hate tinsel. It always makes a mess.' Ianto's voice added to the noise level. Grabbing a pair of scissors, he reached Tosh and starting snipping away at the colorful strands wrapping themselves around Tosh. Gwen grabbed a heavy-duty rubbish bag and shoved the clipped pieces in, containing the small pieces and making her Ianto's best friend for the rest of his cleaning life.
Meanwhile, the eggnog joined in the battle, splashing itself at the cranberry sauce. Jack shut and locked the door. Ianto was going to be pissed about the mess, Jack muttered to himself. The cranberry sauce stain was going to be impossible to get out of the white tablecloth.
'OWEN! Get your scrawny arse out here and help.' Jack braced himself against the conference door. The food joined forces and was now trying to push their fight forward. The eggnog having the advantage of being a liquid snuck under the door and was currently soaking Jack's trousers.
'Love to, Jack, but Rhys and I are kinda busy with the presents. Hopefully, nobody brought anything breakable.' Owen hollered as the surplus wrapping paper flew towards his face. Rhys didn't see it until the paper wrapped itself around his face. The ribbons joined in and tried desperately to tie a pretty bow around Rhys's face while Owen struggled with the tape.
*smash*
'Oops, sorry but I think a bottle just broke. Scotch from the smell of it.' Owen had won the battle with the tape and was currently hiding under a tray, protecting his head.
'NOT THE SCOTCH!' Both Rhys's and Tosh's voice screamed as one. Rhys's voice sounded a little muffled since he was not winning the battle against the wrapping paper.
'Sorry Jack but I think that was your present.'
'I got Scotch from my Secret Santa? Damn it, folks! We need to find out what is going on. Tosh, are you untangled yet? Gwen, Rhys is fine. Help Tosh get free.'
'Ebenezer! Ebenezer!' A new voice joined in.
'What? Who are you? There is no Ebenezer here. Show yourself.' Jack pushed back against the conference room door. Who knew that a cooked Christmas Goose could be so strong?
*smash*
'Oi! Somebody's bottle of wine just broke!'
'Is that what that stench is?'
'Captain! We got a ghost over here and it's wrapping Owen up in chains! What do you want me to do?' Rhys's calm voice carried loud over the chaos in the Hub. Damn, I should have hired him instead of Gwen, Jack thought to himself as he fought off the cranberry sauce crawling up his trousers.
'What type of ghosts? Human? Alien? Clear? Solid? What type of chains?'
'Uh, Human shaped. Dressed in nightclothes. Ghost Chains. With a ball at the end. Cheesy effect.' Rhys had won the battle of the wrapping paper with Owen's help and now they were facing a new foe.
'Cheesy? Who are you calling cheesy? This is supposed to be classic Christmas story for your planet.' The chains dropped from Owen, freeing him. Tinsel stopped wrapping itself around Tosh and hung limply from her. A second ghost appeared next to her, dressed in the same type of outfit as the first but no chains. The cranberry sauce was still traveling up Jack's trousers, rising higher and closer to the parts of Jack reserved for Ianto only.
'Cheesy. As in bad telly effects. Cheap.' Rhys's voice still carried clear through the hub. Holding the two spirits' attention until one of the Torchwood members could take over. Gwen was the first to reach him, placing herself in front of her husband as if to protect him from the spirits.
'Who are you and what do you want?' Gwen demanded answers. She was upset about the Scotch also. It smelled as if it was an expensive brand.
'Well, I'm Ghost of Christmas Past, this is Ghost of Christmas Present and our mate over there with the hottie is the Ghost of Christmas Future. We are tricking you. I thought you knew that. It's what your planet does.' Christmas Past shrugged his shoulders and hung his head low.
'Excuse me? Those are just characters from a story and tricking folks is NOT what our planet does. So please tell the Ghost of Christmas Future to leave the hottie alone. I really don't appreciate Future's actions towards him.' Ianto glared at Christmas Past, wishing that he had a stun gun built for ghosts.
'Sorry. It's just that she's new at this and gets a little eager sometimes. Um, Future. Come on over. The game is over.' Christmas Past motioned for Christmas Future to stop.
*thud*
*smash*
'Ow! That hurt!' Without the goose and assorted foods pushing on the conference room door, Jack fell hard onto the Christmas feast, ruining the rest of the food and his clothes at the same time.
'Jack! You ok?'
'I'm fine. Only my dignity has been hurt. No change there.' Jack tried to stand up but slipped on the Christmas Pudding. Tripped over the Goose. Landed face first in the mincemeat pie. Nobody laughed. The team knew that Ianto would have served decaf for months to anybody who dared laugh. Worst punishment ever devised in the history of mankind.
While Jack tried to remove the remains of the ruined feast off his person, Tosh faced the three Dickensian Spirits.
'Ok, who are you and what are you doing here? Besides ruining our Christmas party? And my new outfit. I bought this new for today and you ruined it. I'm never going to be able to get the tinsel off. You have some explaining to do.' She glared at Christmas Past, believing him, her, or it to be the one in charge.
'Um, sorry about that again. You see, we were here during your planet's last party and understood that your planet celebrates parties.' Christmas Past did a good imitation of looking embarrassed.
'Last party? I don't understand.'
'Dressed up in strange clothes. Went from place to place with tricks and treats.'
'Oh, you mean holidays. Humans celebrate a lot of holidays with parties. That holiday is called Halloween and we dress up in funny clothes, eat candy and play jokes on each other. But this is Christmas! We dress up in nice clothes, eat nice food, and give nice presents to each other. NOT TRICK THEM YOU STUPID ALIENS!' Tosh yelled. She was still upset about her new outfit being messed up.
'Oops. Sorry. I guess we didn't do enough research on your planet's customs. Um, Christmas Future, you did do the required research, didn't you?' Christmas Past turned to glare at Christmas Future.
'Of course I did! I may be new at traveling to other cultures, but I do know the rules. Rule number one - Don't interfere. Rule number two - Don't give away any information that will change their future. Rule number three - Don't drink the water. I'm not stupid.' Christmas Future pouted.
'You got the rules wrong again! I can't believe this. You owe these primitives an apology! You are so grounded, young ghost.' Christmas Present turned to towards Christmas Past and started shouting. 'I told you that she wasn't ready but you insisted that she was. I can't believe this. Our first trip outside our reality in centuries and you had to bring her along. My parental units were right. I should never have mingled my life force with yours. Not when the Ghost of Colors was so glowing for me. I can't believe this.'
'Fine! If Ghost of Colors is glowing for your dingy life force, then he is welcome to them. I must have been delusional when I melded with you.'
'Oi! You Ghosts of Christmas whatever! Can you continue this fight somewhere else?' Jack pushed himself between the two bickering ghosts and tried to shove them apart. He failed since his hands kept going through the non-existing bodies. However, he did get a few laughs from his team at his attempts.
'Excuse me Primitive but this is a private discussion. None of your business and stop trying to meld with my better half.' Christmas Past pushed back at Jack who didn't budge either. He was still pissed about his Scotch being ruined.
'Then take it out of MY HUB! THIS IS MY HOME AND YOU RUINED OUR PARTY!' Jack was not going to lose this argument to a ghost. It would make him look bad in front of Ianto and if Jack played his cards right, Ianto would thank his hero in a special way, later on that night.
'I'm your better half? Why Christmas Past! You haven't said that to me in centuries. You still glow for me?' Christmas Present turned a shade whiter while Christmas Future made gagging noises in the background.
'Gag, parental units. They are so disgusting. Always glowing like that. It's embarrassing. Now, you hottie are a different story. I could glow for you, if you like.' Christmas Future moved closer to Jack but was stopped by a determined Ianto.
'Miss Christmas Future. Or whatever your name is. Jack glows only for me and nobody else. Especially one who messed up on the rules on her first time out.'
'I only messed up on one rule.' Christmas Future tried to move closer to Jack.
'One very important rule and that rule is Hands off the Hottie!'
'Oh, so the two of you are melding?' Christmas Future turned a pale pink as she looked over at Jack, then looked at her parental units who were currently melding.
'Yes, we meld as often as possible. Several times a day, in fact. So take your parental units and get the hell out of here before I remove your melding parts.' Ianto glared down Christmas Future and pointed towards the door. The entire team stared at Ianto's outburst except for Jack who looked like he wanted to meld with Ianto right there and then.
'Oops.' The Ghost of Christmas Future vanished from sight. The Ghosts of Christmas Past and Present looked up from their melding, turned a slight pink, and vanished from sight also.
Jack was the first to recover from Ianto's outburst.
'Well, that's sorted. Now, everybody. Let's see how fast we can get this cleaned up and I'll have Ianto order takeout for all of us. I'm sure that nobody is going to want to eat anything left in the conference room.' Jack smiled a not-so-innocent smile at Ianto that promised all sorts of melding later on that evening. Ianto blushed.
'Jack! At least the majority of the presents managed to survive. The nametags are missing but we can figure out whose is whose. Oh my god! Look at this necklace! It's gorgeous. Gwen, this must be for you from Rhys. You lucky gal.' Tosh held up a deep purple-jeweled necklace with gold trimmings.
'Ah, nope. Actually that's yours, Tosh.' Owen was blushing and hiding behind Rhys.
'What? Mine? You were my Secret Santa Owen?' Tosh stared open mouth at Owen and at the necklace in her hand.
'Ah, nope again. The matching earrings are from your Secret Santa Jack. I saw him get them and got you the matching necklace. As a surprise. You weren't supposed to know.' Owen was really blushing now. Tosh found the matching earrings hidden underneath. Grabbing both packages, she ran over to Jack, gave him a quick peck on his cheek, and then ran over to Owen. Tosh wrapped her arms around Owen and gave him a more through kiss that he returned with pleasure.
'Well, I guess that solves one mystery.' Ianto said as he turned to the other presents still waiting underneath the slightly damaged Christmas tree.
Ianto pulled out the first package he could find. 'Rhys! I found yours - Tosh managed to get you tickets for that game you've been trying for. You can thank her later when she and Owen come up for air. Here's mine. At least I'm thinking the silver coffee gadgets are mine. Thank you Gwen. They are beautiful. Sorry but yours was the bottle of wine that was broken. Jack's was the scotch that soaked Owen's new books. Sorry Owen. I can reorder these for you. Jack! You didn't! Gang! Scrooge Jack got each one of us a weekend away. At a really nice hotel.' Ianto turned around to Jack. Stood from the wreckage underneath the tree and wrapped his arms around the food-covered Jack. Kissed him.
Rhys looked around at the two couples, shrugged his shoulders. 'Might as well join in the fun.' Gwen beat him to it and kissed him first.
~~~
'Ok folks. Great job on cleaning up. Ianto is ordering food right now.' Jack was showered and dressed in clean clothes. The Hub was cleaned. Everything dealt with.
'Jack! We got one slight problem left to deal with.' Owen was sitting very close to Tosh at her station. Both were laughing.
'Now what?'
'Remember the Santa hats that Tosh got? Well, we found them.'
'And Janet does look lovely in them.'
~~~ New Year's Eve. At a hotel, far far away from the Hub
'Hmm, Jack. This is a great Christmas present. I'm enjoying myself.'
'I'm glad Ianto. I'm enjoying myself also. Weekend away from the Hub. No paperwork. No aliens. No interruptions. Just the two of us.'
'So how about a shower before the theatre tonight? Get cleaned up.'
'I like how you think.' Both men's laughter filled the hotel suite as Jack turned on the shower. As Ianto joined him, soft moans soon replaced the laughter.
As the two men enjoyed their shared shower, they didn't hear the clanging of a metal item moving. The meal tray holding the remains of a small feast moved slightly. Chocolate sauce moved up the side of its bowl and started moving towards the remains of the cheesecake.
~~~